I’m losing my mind over this. I’m 23, male. I can’t talk to girls. As in even the ugliest bitch puts me into panic mode. And I do mean full on panic attacks as in sweating, feeling cold, heart beating until it hurts, not able to breath, whole body tensing, head hurting, getting dizzy, ringing in ears, all that. I feel so worthless over this and have been depressed, spiraling downward to the point I’m so ashamed I can now barely talk to men or even family. Whenever I try to research on this I start shaking getting nervous just thinking about talking to women and I almost feel like crying because I feel so fuckin weak. It’s so fucking pathetic. I have no idea if there was some shitty experience in my past that made me this way. I keep trying to get shitty wagecuck jobs but always end up reverting back to neet after a few months. I hate it. I never feel comfortable in social settings, but the fact I’m this retarded with women makes me want to die.
I am hoping to fucking god that someone here has had a similar experience and can tell me what fixed it. I also have a lot of general social anxiety where I do that whole stiff walk where I can barely swing my arms
I’ve made a few threads and got great advice about antidepressants but it feels so fucking stupid to take something like prozac just because I’m afaid of girls at 23 fucking years old. I avoided making the appointment to get the prescription today over this.
Why don't you pay a prostitute money just to pretend to be your gf. You can practice that way. Have her put you in sexually uncomfortable situations
Luke Cruz
Still dealing with this at 25 lol Girls are scary
Adam Walker
Man if I had hooker money I’d probably have resorted to it a while ago. I can’t even hold a job man, I'm broke. That’s how fucking bad this is. My last job resulted in a fucking panic attack after two weeks and I almost went to a hospital. Whole thing is a haze but it was bad.
Evan Gutierrez
But dude that’s the thing that gets me, they’re fucking not! I could probably kill a girl by punching her hard enough. I don’t understand why I’m so afraid of something that’s not scary. I grew up catching rattlesnakes barehanded and fucking with full grown alligators. But a 120lb girl makes me break down and almost cry.
Thomas James
Stop overthinking, stop being insecure. The only way you're going to get comfortable with yourself around women is if you put yourself in uncomfortable situations. For me it was public speaking, and the only way I ever got over it was taking speech class and being up there talking to my classmates (girls included). I realized it wasn't so bad, and I was pretty good at it too. The same thing will happen with you, just stop feeling so sorry for yourself because noone is going to help you but you.
Easton Jones
When I was 25 I stopped being NEET and got a job at a boutique retail establishment known for friendly customer service, and the repeated positive exposure got me to enjoy and feel confident talking to strangers.
I was more recovered than you when I did this though. I would suggest therapy. Specifically look for someone who specializes in relational therapy, will probably be a social worker and not a PhD psychologist but not always. You mention your past... do you think something might've happened in your childhood? Do you not remember a lot of it? The reason I was this way turned out to be CPTSD from childhood neglect and abusive relationships as an adult, and it made me feel very much like you describe it now. If you feel that's you, I have a book to recommend.
Don't go to a doctor or psychiatrist, they will just push pills on you to treat the symptoms. You need someone to give you lasting skills relating to others.
Ryder Gomez
stop grieving and give more facts lad. first and foremost, it's normal how you feel. your thinking is just boggled, dunno why but we'll see. What you're experiencing, at least what I think from your writing, is: you're scared you're not normal and the only human being with this pain. you're not, because feeling is normal. and feeling means positive and negative ones. the question is, do you want to stop feeling or do you want to change how you deal with the feeling? Different approach : how do you feel when you try to research your problem? You told us how your fear manifests, but is that all? what drove you to research, fear or sth else?
John Butler
>go to a doctor or psychiatrist, they will just push pills on you to treat the symptoms. fixed. Theyre there to overview and observe your therapy, based on symptoms and counseling. they're important to coordinate which kind of medicine and which kind of therapy will help you.
Thomas Ross
What drove me to research is hoping to find some magic answer to grow out of this, to find someone I can look up to who was at this same point (to help me cope and feel less shitty about myself. When I look it up I just feel more and more pathetic. You know in a movie you’ll see some highschool guy try and talk to a girl for the first time and he just chokes up and can’t really talk at all, just makes a noise and says nothing? That’s me. The difference is I’m 20 fucking 3 years old man. I can’t do this shit. It’s so fucking abnormal and everyone expects you to be able to atleast talk to women in a non sexual formal way like a normal functioning adult.
Idk if taking the drugs will make me stop feeling or not like it does for many. My sister started prozac a couple months ago and says it’s like a switch was flipped for her. But still it feels stupid and weak as fuck because all my depression and anxiety stems from this fucking shit, atleast a lot of it does. I’m already in therapy since my last panic attack 2 months ago but I’ve been this way for literally my entire life man, ever since I was a child
Benjamin Miller
I'm 32 and been through this myself. I'm married and just wanted to go to bed, but I feel like I can help you. First, youre not shit. you want to love and be loved back, and not having this and the inability to get this drive you nuts. other people want to work and can't because of reasons. thing is, everyone has reasons why they can't do sth. and they're totally legit. realizing that you're missing something in life you want so badly it hurts is a good trait! but you need to regulate it a bit :) don't only hate yourself for what you can't achieve right now, I tried for years to get a gf why all my friends banged or did shit for love and were alone but happy. I was alone and hated myself for not being able to talk to women, despite getting better and better in conversations. tell you what, I still can't approach girls casually in clubs. and I'm married haha. it's not about how frequent you fail to overcome yourself, it's about not meeting the person yet that's worth to overcome your concerns.
also you're only 23, ask yourself if you could plan a whole conversation that goes for 5min or more and improvise from there. do people listen to you when they talk with you? can you uphold a conversation when you feel comfortable?
Christian Cox
Should've spent more time wrestling aligators and less time on the internet. This is what you get
Liam Phillips
Dis is da redpill
Liam Murphy
Go get a whore.
Luis Cook
stop watching porn you dumbass.
Jaxon Gomez
i had this same issue growing up. the way i starting thinking about it was "maybe i should just act like myself and try to be a friend instead of trying to get with them." i get the initial contact is pretty daunting, but maybe try to go to places with that are in tune with your interests. maybe a concert (which when i was really socially anxious surprisingly helped me a lot). and i dont think meds are necessarily the way to approach this kind of situation.
Joshua Baker
this too.
Luis Lewis
OP I felt the same way you did before I started anxiety meds but honestly they’ve changed my life. Try rescheduling and tell your doc how you feel.
Angel Young
>stopped watching porn and nofapped for 5 months last year >still couldn't speak to girls >anxiety actually increased That's not the answer.
Luis Gomez
>>anxiety actually increased >actually getting withdrawal symptoms from quitting porn user you should cut back not for some placebo effect with girls but because you have an actual addiction
Eli Baker
I don't watch porn every night dude Shit, I haven't even watched any or fapped this week.
Bentley Williams
Just saying, anxiety after quitting porn is not a good sign. At least you've cut back now though.