I've been considering taking a break or significantly reducing time spent with gaming...

I've been considering taking a break or significantly reducing time spent with gaming, the one interest I always stuck with.
It's all I know, it's where my only friends as well as my younger brother can connect with me, and it still genuinely satisfies me to this day. Hell just last week I 100%ed Sekiro, and it was fun and felt good to finish seeing everything the game has to offer. The problem is I spent over a week straight just eating, sleeping and playing - I spent my entire vacation week on one videogame. I can't help but wonder what I could have accomplished if I sat down with another hobby for that week, despite the fun I had with the game.

I just don't know what else there is to do. I've given it a very serious consideration to just cold turkey it, pack away my computer for a month, just to see if it changes me.
While I have some vague ideas on goals, I don't know what to do or where to begin. I'd love to get into drawing, and I want to go for walks and exercise. I also believe I need to change my mind somehow, I'm constantly self-loathing and seeking validation from every source I can access, for example I'm doing it in this very OP as you can tell. But with my few friends I also constantly ask them things to reaffirm that I'm choosing right, doing right, that my choice and idea is the best it can be, and afterwards I get extremelt anxious over knowing what a pest I am acting like, but I can't help it. I also talk way too much, too easily speaking my mind, sharing my thoughts etc and I am aware how annoying I must be and I can't stop and then I get anxious and self deprecating about it.

I feel like a month or more with no or at least reduced gaming is needed for myself to grow. If I can't cold turkey, how many hours or at what times can gaming be okay? Two hours at night when I have nothing else to do?
I don't know what to do or think. Please help.

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I must also confess that a huge fear I have is that if I quit gaming, all the money I poured into the hobby is completely wasted. I have a deep fear of thinking I wasted something good.
Right now if I count on various things, I'd be putting away ... $3250 on PC and consoles while counting in all hardware, over $5200 if I add my OLED 4k TV that I rarely use, and $6300 if I add in my HTC Vive. Add another $200 on just videogames(software) this year alone if you want, however I guess in a way it's comparable to going to movies or drinking a lot of beer?

I'd consider over $6000 worth of stuff to just be thrown away. I'd be giving up on all this "value" I own.

It’s up to you. At a minimum it’s a good sign that you can see and understand the negative impact this is having on your life, and deciding to change is the first step of actually breaking an addiction. That being said you have to define what your future in mind is: do you want to keep this in your life, and if so how much? It sounds like it’s a good outlet for you and a source of connection as you’ve mentioned so I’m imagining that you do want to keep it somewhat in your life after your “detox” from the abuse of it. So then you have to define for yourself what it is and how you will use it or if you can even responsibly use it.

You can either decide to go cold turkey which will be difficult but shorter in the long term in terms of getting over it. You’ll see more bluntly how much time it took up and the shock might be really good for you. However you’re still gonna have to learn moderation after that time is up.

The other option is reducing usage to reasonable hours. If you think you can do this then it’s probably the easiest way, you’d just have to get comfortable stopping something that’s unfinished in a game because your time is up. It’s all your choice dependent on your relationship and ability in terms of control.

What I'm thinking is that if I look deep enough into it, I really mainly play games to connect with my brother, not even as much my friends anymore. I get singleplayer games either because I loved a previous title in the series (such as Sekiro, while not directly a sequel it's pretty much "the next Souls game"), or by his recommendation. And I honestly can't say the last time I bought- or played any multiplayer focused game that wasn't to play it with him.
The one exception I have is for WoW Classic coming out this summer. That one game is one I'd probably spend my entire semester on. But it's begun to make me feel uneasy, because I've realized that I'm actually getting stressed out from worrying that I can't play it in a way/as much as I want. I've considered taking extra time off just to play more. I've seriously been planning to play for 18 hours a day if I'm able to. And I genuinely believe that I'll love doing it, I'll have a lot of fun.
But then what? What could I have done instead? Or how could maybe 2-3 hours of it be as valuable as 18?

I mean you say that 18 hours would be genuinely enjoyable, but have you ever written it down? Try it the next time you think you might binge, write down how much you believe you’ll enjoy it out of 100 before you do the activity. Then immediately after doing it write down how much you enjoyed it.

Do that with a 2 hour play as well or however short you wanna make them.

Also why would an 18 hour play be any more or less enjoyable than a 2 hour play? It’s the same game, just spread out over time.

>But it's begun to make me feel uneasy, because I've realized that I'm actually getting stressed out from worrying that I can't play it in a way/as much as I want.

This is a real issue and one that honestly I struggled with in terms of internet addiction and also tv/movies. I realized after a while that the things that I love and want to do will always be there even if I come back later to pick them up. Like me watching a video at 1 am vs tomorrow makes no difference in terms of my enjoyment of the video. The content of the video is the same, and it’s better enjoyed well rested. The benefits outweigh the downsides there.

Sunk
Cost
Fallacy

Absolutely agreed. If I quit it's absolutely wasted money. The value is less than halved after owning it so it's not like it's even worth selling all my stuff, so they'd just collect dust.

In 18 hours I can accomplish long goals, getting ahead, get "done" sooner I guess. In 2 hours I'd barely have time to do worthwhile progress, not only in a game like WoW but in general. I've refused to start on certain games because I had less than 4-5 hours to play, but the very best feeling is even to finish a game's main story in one sitting if possible.
Fuck me I'm truly addicted.

Honestly this is just my opinion incoming but: WoW is a shitty game that is literally made for you to sink lots of hours into because that's how they make money. If you're really trying to get away from gaming for so long you should try to eliminate these sorts of games from your library all together, but that's just my personal opinion as someone who plays video games and has seen their friends sink hours and hours into games like WoW or league of legends.

Besides that in terms of actual advice,
>In 18 hours I can accomplish long goals, getting ahead, get "done" sooner I guess.
You'd still be playing for 18 hours, it would just be spaced out. It's the difference of binging and watching a tv show live. It's the same story but different ways of consuming the content.

>In 2 hours I'd barely have time to do worthwhile progress
This is kind of why I cut in with my opinion because these sorts of games seem to operate based around the investment of time. It's a feature not an accident, that makes the game feel more rewarding than it actually is. This is why you have a lot of more casual gamers who can't really understand these sorts of games because the reward isn't immediate and it feels like a lot of work in a normal gameplay period.

>not only in a game like WoW but in general.
This isn't true. Two hours is a lot of time. Off the top of my head I know you won't get far but you could definitely start a game of civ within that time and that's a long ass game. Imagine what you could do with a shorter style of game. Just because you feel like you're not making progress doesn't mean that's true. You can get halfway through like a dungeon in skyrim in that time easily and just save halfway. Part of this journey for you is learning how to leave things when they are unfinished, or even better making smaller goals within the time that you can achieve.

>I've refused to start on certain games because I had less than 4-5 hours to play, but the very best feeling is even to finish a game's main story in one sitting if possible.

That's on you, there's no reason to do that other than your expectations. Your avoidance of doing that has given you a gap of experience where your anxiety about this grows and the lies your anxiety tells you live. Exactly because you have not gotten used to this experience is why you avoid it, because you haven't allowed yourself to have a good gaming experience in only a few hours.

You also might be conflating the feeling of finishing a game to finishing a game in a few hours. It might feel really good in the moment but ultimately the cost of the investment isn't worth it, and the trade off of completing it later isn't that much of a drop off. If anything you can see it as much MORE of an investment because you've been playing for so many more days and actively using your very little spare free time to play. It's a fun experience imo when a game is tied to a season or holiday like that because you played over a few days or a month.

You're right. But how do I even... make small, short goals? How do I do anything in steps, increments? I've lived all my life with an all or nothing attitude. Black or white. Good or bad.
It's exactly why I fail to exercise because I give it my all on day 1, making it so that I hurt too much from sore muscles to continue even several days later, and then I don't try until I get motivated again.
I also give up easily because of it, like if I can't go all out and prove myself, I immediately failed and wasted my time.

Again I think you're right but I don't know how.
It's also sad in a way because it could even make the experience of a game last longer. Instead of for example binging Sekiro for a week straight, I guess I could have experienced all of it over a month.
However I'd like to add that I have a pretty poor memory and I'd probably have forgotten most of the early story of the game if it happened a few days earlier.

>Absolutely agreed

It's a fallacy.

All the time and money you spend on video games is wasted. Spending more time on them to justify the money you spent doesn't put you in a better position.

>I've lived all my life with an all or nothing attitude. Black or white. Good or bad.
>I also give up easily because of it, like if I can't go all out and prove myself, I immediately failed and wasted my time.

You seem to understand the point here, progress is about forward movement not completion. Focusing on completion is a form of perfectionism. Things exist more often in shades of grey. Like a marathon runner does complete a marathon but only after months of training and slow progress.

This is why I'm pointing out why it might be an issue with your library of games too, because they might make it intentionally a slog to only play for a short amount of time. Small short goals in something like skyrim would be something like
>make sure that I have everything for going through this cave
then the next day
>go through the cave
and if you don't finish just save and continue later or if it's something longer then you can say
>work on this sidequest
which is a lot more open ended and accepting of any progress than
>finish this sidequest
which forces you into a corner with what you can do to achieve what you wanted.

>However I'd like to add that I have a pretty poor memory and I'd probably have forgotten most of the early story of the game if it happened a few days earlier.

This is the biggest issue imo with this style of gameplay, but that mostly has to do with sandbox type games like skyrim where it might not be as clear why you're in the woods or where you were going. There are other aspects to games that you probably underutilize like markers because you're so accustomed to binges. I also have issues with memory so I've become a lot better at tracking my progress, and you can view it as a way to get better at remembering things.

Any idea how I can get over it?

Something about short goals like that really irks me, I feel seriously bothered just reading it. To me the very minimum would normally be to -at least- prepare for amd go through the entirw dungeon plus all of its sidequests, and then take a break.
I don't feel good about what I described of course.

More thoughts on the matter.

I've mentioned how quitting games or significantly reducing my time on them is a desire.
But there are MANY other uses for my computer, plus I legitimately don't know what to spend all the extra hours on. If I have say 16 hours on a saturday, I could spend 1-2 on exercise, 1-2 on chores, anything like 1-4 hours on practicing drawing (completely up to motivation, mood etc), and then what? That's 3-8 out of 16 hours. What do I do for another 8 hours?
I feel like spending a single moment out of these hours on my PC is the equivalent bad of gaming. Even if I wasn't playing a game, there is endless content on youtube alone, or I could watch a series. Hell I could even have a stream on while drawing and doodling.
But doesn't all of it, every moment spent on my PC, count just as bad as gaming?

So I mentioned this to my brother and he thinks I'm being retarded. His arguments are
>you still have time to play
>you won't do anything else, just sit and do nothing, there's nothing else to do
>there's no way you'll make it and you'll want to use your pc again in a few days

>But doesn't all of it, every moment spent on my PC, count just as bad as gaming?

You'd be surprised just how much time people waste on a computer/phone/TV and have next to nothing to do with video games. I'd actually recommend just finding something you enjoy in addition to gaming, rather than just trying to end gaming entirely. If it turns out you like it enough, it may even naturally replace hours you spend on gaming.
Finding the right hobby is much easier said than done, though.

I almost know what I want though, drawing. I used to be really into it in my youth but I guess I gave it up for more gaming.
Thing is, I'm absolutely garbage at drawing, and instead of watching good work and being like "man I wanna get there", for me it's "I'll never get there". The thoughts are just as demotivating as motivating. I feel like I'm unable to learn. Anatomy has to make sense even if you draw unrealistic cartoons.
It's a hobby I always had on my mind, but always feared getting into, does that make sense?

Oh well you already got past the hard part and are just fussing about the semantics then. Frankly I'm jealous that you already fully know what you want to do.

Basically just go and do it. Buy a tablet or pens or whatever tool you need if you don't have and just go and draw something.

It's the same mantra I picked up way back when I did martial arts - all the time you spent complaining about changing a lightbulb, the light would have already been changed. Same thing applies here. How much time have you spent idlely wondering about if you could have gotten good at drawing when you could have just drawn something?

Get an idea in your head and just draw it. an activity is much easier to keep doing once you will yourself to actually begin it. Take a break when you lose focus, then repeat.

And this is just a side note: I know some artists that never drew before that decided they wanted to try at age 25 and they're damn good now. If you're threatened because you missed some "child prodigy drawing practice", that's just an excuse and you've got plenty of time to make up for it.

When is a good time to begin though?
Today? In an hour? Tonight? Tomorrow?
After I've done it for one day, when is the next time?

Do it right now. Draw me a leopard gecko because they are the cutest lizards in the world.
Then after you're done with that, tomorrow draw me a woodcutter's axe in the most detail you can.
The day after that, draw me a new picture of a leopard gecko holding the axe and then color it so I can use it for my donut steel OC

The point is just do something to get you drawing.

The idea isnt to find more time wasters to replace gaming, it's to become a creator rather than a consumer .

Haha, a leopard gecko huh. I'll see what I can do.. first I gotta find some paper.

Funny you'd mention that. I've for a long time believed that I am incapable of creating, and at one point I straight up told myself and those around me that I've forsaken becoming a "creator". Instead I'm a pure consumer.
I used to enjoy making youtube videos. I put a lot of energy into learning Sony Vegas which I then made- and uploaded over 50 videos with. Some time last year I snapped and deleted the account, and a few months later of course I regretted it, because even though each video barely had a thousand views each, I did make them for fun, for myself, for my friends. Now noone can see them again because I decided to destroy instead of create.

Nice! take a pic and post the results here when you're finished

I don't wanna make excuses but I legitimately don't own paper I can draw on, what the hell. Guess I should go buy some instead. I'm actually baffled at this.

>What do I do for another 8 hours?
Most people, even people who are productive spend a lot of time doing something that isn't productive.
Shitpost on Jow Forums, watch youtube videos, watch movies, hang out with friends, use social media, etc. Just find something you find fun but not addictive. Learning and practicing every waking hour of your life will exhaust you.

I really don't wanna go there, but that does sound like 8 hours I might as well play games on. Even gaming is more useful than shitposting, social media, watching youtube/tv, etc.
Despite all the stuff I mentioned in this thread, I can't say that I'm addicted. I just never had another real interest, and in the last few years, aside from when I really do get into one game and play the everloving shit out of it, I actually do spend most freetime watching youtube recommendations and arguing with /v/.

Perhaps I've been overthinking it though. I mean my whole OP. I say this after both the suggestions in this thread, and also looking at various videos on youtube for a few hours about quitting games. Unless I find something I truly enjoy doing so much that it naturally replaces gaming, there's no reason to try to cold turkey and quit, but I should absolutely reduce it into moderation and add other activities.
I've decided to go buy tools for drawing tomorrow morning when the local shop opens, so that's a start.

How about meditating? Is that a meme?

I think it's great that you enjoy games so much, I wish that was still the case for me as well, kinda got bored of them though.
Time spent having fun is NOT wasted time, if you think you could've achieved something else in the time "wasted" how about you just try something new?

Like, instead of stopping to play games entirely make room for new activities, thus reducing the gaming time, and simply try.

I tried making sculptures, drawing, programming and learning languages (Japanese) and while I learned that I'm not very creative and dropped the art stuff, I had a lot of fun trying it out.
I ended up studying CS since I enjoyed programming and still learn Japanese as a hobby.
Doing something else in between is fun and kinda refreshing, I would recommend it to anyone.

But if for some reason video games are all you enjoy so be it, nothing wrong with it imo.

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Yes I've been reconsidering what I said in the OP.

I think I've simply built up the idea that vidya is a cause for depression, demotivation, laziness etc. While I still enjoy gaming myself, it also comes with the stigma of being a fat disgusting slobby nolife with zero social abilities. I guess I've also got the idea that if I ever did get fit, and if I did get a new gf, I'd have to keep it a secret because adulta liking videogames is deemed pathetic.

>While I still enjoy gaming myself, it also comes with the stigma of being a fat disgusting slobby nolife with zero social abilities.
Honestly who cares what others think.
But I would still recommend to go outside regularly even if it is only a 10min walk around the block for health reasons.

>I guess I've also got the idea that if I ever did get fit, and if I did get a new gf, I'd have to keep it a secret because adulta liking videogames is deemed pathetic.
I have to disagree, a gf that thinks you are pathetic for liking video games is not really loving you imo.
If you are an okay guy, liking video games shouldn't be the deal breaker really.

This is why I was saying in my previous post how whether or not you cold turkey to get through it you'll have to learn moderation, and also if video games are a source of joy for you then just learn to reign it in. Playing games for hours on end is a symptom of your issues, not a causative agent. It's the same for anyone who spends an excessive amount of time on anything to their detriment. Addiction is often a symptom of something else.

>I don't feel good about what I described of course.
>Something about short goals like that really irks me, I feel seriously bothered just reading it.

So if there's a lot of stuff to prepare then there are many avenues for small goals. What about smaller goals bothers you? They're all needed to achieve the larger goal.

So if you have 16 hours on Saturday then you have 2 hours of exercise, 2 on chores, 4 practicing drawing, that's 8 more hours left. Are you immediately jumping out of bed or are you getting dressed and eating breakfast in the morning? I'm assuming you shower and that whole process takes an hour so subtract an hour. Takeaway an hour for lunch, and hour for dinner. You have 5 extra hours. You listed chores, does this include or not include your laundry, because that can easily take 1-2 hours. You have 5 hours left. This is assuming that you do not have any schoolwork to do and no job. You can decide what to do with these five hours but why not fill in time to socialize here? You can always add in two hours to play video games.