Like as a rebound or an emotional filler in his relationship..
I can't tell if this is what I was to this guy, or if the other factors caused a huge misunderstanding.
I don't want to go into much details to reveal anyone's information, and this is also a situation of the recent past but not currently happening involving me, so anything even personal anecdotes are good.
sorry to hear that dude
I'm a girl. Isn't it obvious?
I really loved this guy...still love...
Maybe i am too pessimistic but all relations are emotional fillers and rebounds. Mine too. But hey as long it works everything good. There is one way to know. If guy interacts less with you even though he is getting better that means rebound. If he was bored and desperate before relationship and now just bored it is emotional filler. Cant say much more without details.
How long were you dating the guy?
The answer is not to think about it
Thanks so much.. I feel like these things are obvious until you are blinded by feelings. I'm going to ponder over it for a while.
Oi that's hard to answer really..
Probably 5 months, a bit longer before we made it official even though it was basically official, but our story goes on for years
I been blinded by feelings lots of times myself. Life is such a strange thing. It takes you to places you thought you would never be in. I am not saying forget this guy or anything but try to open yourself to new experiences. Love is such a fickle feeling one day you will realize you dont love him that much anymore. Then one day you will say why the heck i cared so much. Then after more time he will be just another face in the wall.
>How do you know if a guy is using you
Don’t put out til he wants it to be official
coming from a guy in a 1.5y relationship:
A guy is using you in every single case except for the ideal one where he envisions a future for the two of you together. Despite how pessimistic it sounds the idea of him "using" you could be applied to him using you for sex just as easily as he could have used you for strengthening his understanding of relationships. Just like yourself, people don't go into a relationship with a certain expectation and what caused him ghosting you isn't necessarily obvious nor simple. He didn't share his issues(or expectations) on time and thus left you wondering. If you're gonna blame something start with your lack of communication to one another and fill each gap that was left unanswered with that or your inability to spot a problem. If its all over try to recap and learn from the experience and if its not try asking him questions that would help you to understand how he thinks of your relationship.
Look for reciprocity. How much time do you spend on his problems how much on yours? Who initates initmacy or activities? How much time and energy do both of you invest in this relationship?
In general does he care about as much as you do about your feelings?
Indicators that he is using you are a one-sided relationship or lots of gaslighting.
since everyone has already given advice,i just wanna say i love the pic you posted.Damn that's adorable
fucking retard
>need advice
>don't want to go into detail
I have tried and each relationship after got subsequently worse. I'd like to say i could forget him but it's been 6 years.. and a year since our last painful conversation.
I figured as much but it was official before the only time we were ever intimate and we kept together for a while.after that at least..
Thank you. I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking through this and the advice above because honestly it just feels like I'm missing pieces of a puzzle and cannot see the full picture clearly so my mind just makes up the rest. I already have long term anxiety issues.
The picture makes me feel comfort.
I wish I saved the artists name but it's probably searchable.
I mean there's no way I could even shorten it down fairly, it's a long story. The advice I got helps more actually.
>Thank you. I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking through this and the advice above because honestly it just feels like I'm missing pieces of a puzzle and cannot see the full picture clearly so my mind just makes up the rest. I already have long term anxiety issues.
Take your time. After a while it will be more apparent to you.
Another tip is looking if a guy respects your boundaries. You can push boundaries in a good manner like helping a somewhat shy person to overcome their shyness. Or you can try to undermine and disrescept boundaries when people are fairly sure about them. For example a guy who is pushing a girl into sexual activites she doesn't enjoy and he makes her feel unloved for it.
Actually I worried more about being used emotionally. He always respected my boundaries physically, I felt respected. But I wonder if it was projection of feelings his ex wasn't giving him, and I was a filler girl. Maybe he didn't mean to use me but he didn't keep his promise to stay with me either, instead letting me go.
Another user said he would improve his emotions and bail.. but he just cried more and more to me. I couldn't tell if he was crying about life in general, his breakup, or me, and because I already had depression and anxiety issues and told him this and he comforted me I just tried to do the same.
I want to come back to update this later as I ponder but I have to sleep here and I might be gone. So thanks again everyone.
Good night then!
Chances are he was confused and used you as a filler girl. He might even told himself that he is in love with you or actually felt like he was somethings but this doesn't matter in the end.
Even if he didn't want to use you or did it without intent, he didn't knew what he wanted at that time. Your relationship was missing the very foundation. Promises don't change this as they don't replace genuine feelings. It's not like some business contract.
>Don’t put out til he wants it to be official
kek
Plenty of guys get a kick out of chasing girls like this, then they leave after their "conquest".
If they think they can get it, they'll stay until they do. Waiting until marriage prevents this, because it forces them to commit--and they don't want to do that. Too late for whores like OP, but it should still be said for the record.
>using a name on an user site
>roleplaying as well
Thanks for bumping my thread so it wouldn't die though
I thought so because he kept coming to me for emotional support, crying a lot, needing to talk about the past. At least in the beginning I definitely needed his emotional support and maybe used him too. The sex was also my choice, I don't really view virginity as something taken from me but as an experience, and it was a very enjoyable experience.
But the thing that got me were some of the things he kept saying to me. And also that he apparently was interacting with me on a site I which I didn't realize for a long time but it was obvious later on, and he also wrote letters about me on another site including details like my birthday and initials. I just wonder how far someone would go to use someone, even if he says he is emotionally attached and can't let go.