I'm a virgin at 27 years. I've never once been asked out, went on a date or kissed a guy, because I'm shy...

Thank you for the advice! Any tips on how to overcome my shyness to actually speak to guys about the stuff I like?

Well, start putting yourself out there. Don't lie about who you are, but who you are might be different, is probably very different from what you think you are.
If you are not that good looking and shy, you must put more work into exposing yourself. A very attractive woman can wait in her workplace to get asked out by her boss. You can't or shouldn't wait for that, in your own interest. Do online dating, speed dating, socialize. I don't think focusing on your career is the answer, that sounds like the exact opposite.
Also work on your body, bring it into a shape that a man would find attractive, you can do that, every woman can. Make yourself pretty, you see a lot of women putting great effort in their looks that are already gifted genetically, you might want to do that too. Maybe you think you don't "deserve" that or it's not your thing: it's time you make it your thing. Make all the things your thing that I just mentioned.

And then if you put honest work into your situation instead of hiding for any longer, you will reap reward to the extend you put in effort.

Unfortunately no, not really. Only to say that you've not got much to lose, have you? That mindset eventually kicked in for me but god knows how many times I had to tell it to myself.

I don't know what I want basically. I'm extremely passive as I've always prioritized doing well in school and later on excelling at my job. Now that I'm older and I'm doing exceptionally professionally I'm starting to believe the time to look for love is long past and that I should hope to scrape whatever approaches me if I happen to yearn for affection at some point in life (which I haven't until this moment). It's fucked up really. I'm more concerned what a SO would think of me if they find out I'm a virgin nerd at this age than actually putting in the effort to find a SO.

I've found this to be a double-edged sword. I've made such calls in the past to approach guys that have proven way out of my league as I remained acquaintances and chat with most of them occasionally. I guess what I need to do is stop weeding out people I perceive as unapproachable and muster up the courage to speak to people more indiscriminately at social gatherings.

Well im a 25 year old khv male so id probably feel more relaxed and possibly more attracted if i were dating someone in the same boat.

Because no one immediately starts shitting on guys who open up about being incels over their assumed weight or something else.

i'm 27. last time i had sex was wihen i was 17 with a 15 year old who only liked me because she was massively insecure. it's probably worse because i am not unattractive, i just have a shitty personality that i dont care at all to improve

>not because I was saving myself, but because I never found the right person
The good news is you can still decide to save yourself. The only men who would be put off your inexperience are manwhores who are primarily interested in using your body.
>I'm more concerned what a SO would think of me if they find out I'm a virgin nerd at this age
As above, they either wouldn't care, or if they're waiting until marriage themselves, they'd be very happy. The dumbest thing you can do, both for your own sake and in the eyes of someone you meet, would be to get "experience" in a one night stand situation out of insecurity.

You currently are something of a 'unicorn'--I don't mean to say you're a piece of meat, quite the reverse, in that you spent your 20s actually focusing on your career. The norm these days is that you'll have degenerates sleeping around before they start getting an impulse to settle down, while you don't have that baggage. Find the right kind of guy, and he'll see that in you. If you try to be "normal", by contrast, you are shooting yourself in the foot not only by the effects of the actions in themselves, but also for the fact that you aren't getting any younger--and all things being equal, someone who is probably plain (I doubt you're actually ugly) and getting older will be at a disadvantage from the outset.

I'm not a female, but I feel that (like a ton of other people have said) you should just be yourself. I'm a natural joker who likes to make jokes about controversial topics (think of me as a human form of the onion). My girlfriend says that's what draws her to me, and what makes me charming. Also to help with your shyness issue, there is only two solutions. 1. What was formerly mentioned. 2. Don't be afraid of the word no. I think (from reading your question) that the primary source of your shyness is the fact that sometimes you are insecure of your own interests. You feel that when they say no they are rejecting you, not just as an SO but also as a person and I gotta say, user that just isn't the case. For example when I was 12 I asked this girl I liked out but got shot down. Me and the girl are in contact and still good friends to this day. If you just go for it when you feel like the time is right (no matter what) I think you'll do just fine. P.S. remember number 2 Don't be afraid of the word no.

Come on, you know what you want. You are just surpressing your own needs. You wouldn't make this post if you weren't feeling that something is not right. I get that it's painful to face yourself, to face your own emotions.
See yourself a few years down the line. What should your life look like? Would you be fine with no partner the rest of your life or would you rather have a partner? Be honest to yourself. Have compassion for yourself.

How overweight are you?

Because if she was a healthy weight she would have been getting offers. The fact that she thinks its her responsibility to seek out a man says that she isn’t attractive, and the only way that is possible is if she is overweight.

Same boat OP, but I'm 25. Idk what to do either, I'm just living my life and focusing on not upsetting too many coworkers.

First, calling bait. However if not..

Ha, no OP. You shouldnt give up on theidea of romance, but it feels like you dont really go out there pretty much.

However something seems to be off about you. Dont you go out in social settings? I am not talking about bars, like do you directly go home from work?

Thank you for the reassurance. I guess I needed someone to tell me I'm not a freak of nature for not pursuing guys and instead focusing on stuff I'd found more interesting previously.

You're right, user, and for this I thank you. I already find it extremely taxing to approach guys I like out of sheer terror I might get rejected and I likely shouldn't. Not all social contacts should be based on the desire to copulate after all.

I might be a recluse, but I'd naturally prefer company long-term. There's the lingering fear that if I end up lucking out and landing a SO, they wouldn't be able to endure my hours, we'd eventually break up and I'll end up detaching myself from any notion of love life further.

See I don't go to social gatherings at all and on the rare occasion I do, they're job-related. My day goes sleep - work - keeping up-to-date with my job/vidya and fitting in a lot of extra hours in-between. Sleeping enough is a continuous struggle and as much as I'm cutting down on vidya to achieve a relative rested state, I can't limit the sheer amount of reading and academic work I need to do if I want to maintain this pace. Most of the guys at the social gatherings I frequent are already taken and the ones that I haven't approached are either too shy and disinterested in me or too unattractive for me to start gathering the courage to ask out. Maybe my standards are too high when they shouldn't be.

30ish guy here.

I just finished a very pleasant (and sexual) romance with a 27 year old virgin. Like you, she thought herself ugly (She was no raving beauty, but fine) and the traumas of being a social failure in her teens led her to essentially remove herself from the romantic and sexual arenas.

We met at a party, chatted and had a good time. I asked her out just because I enjoyed her company. Long story short - I liked her, she confessed her status, we took it slow, and once we moved toward the sexual realm she relaxed and became fully passionate and enjoying herself. We parted because work made me move away, both happy for having had such a good experience and wishing each other well.

Just don't close yourself off from the possibility.

Look, it looks like the main issue seems availability on your end. You seem all work and no fun and even the gatherings you are in sound all professional.

It is probably not just about your standarts being too high, although it might be related. How is your social life in general? Do you have many friends that are close to you?

Stories such as yours bring me hope. Thanks, user!

All of my friends are working at the same place as me, so I see them quite often. None of them are what I could call close, however. I've always kept to myself emotionally.

I used to be emotionally reserved as well user. I got new hobbies(real life hobbies, not vidya) and met tons of new people. Some are now my close friends. What seems to take your interest? Did you have any hobbies like photography or tracking, or sth like that before?

I have taken an interest in you and you piqued my interest.

I used to draw and read genre fiction a lot as a kid, not so much nowadays. It's mainly vidya. Never been an outdoorsy person and I tend to complain a lot when I go out hiking with friends even though I'm mostly enjoying myself. Issue is I either need to make new friends somehow to hike with since my current ones are in a situation similar to mine work-wise and going out with them would be extremely rare when applicable.

Ok, both of those hobbies are solitary stuff you do at home. They are useless/null for this case.

What you need to is an activity that is not necessarily outdoorsy, but something in real life instead of online. I found my clique with tabletop gaming on this one, it is not physically draining but something that will allow you to meet actual people. And anything irl is far superior than anything online.

Have you ever considered such a thing?

And it does look like you need to find an entire new social circle, not replacing your old one but an addition to that.

Literally put yourself on any dating app and you'll have the pick of the litter, and if you're trying to be serious, you just have to have some common sense and match with guys who seem on the level
You have literally all the choosing power when it comes to sex, all you have to do is try

> I've never once been asked out
fake news. EVERY girl gets asked out no matter what.

OP have you tried meetups? theyre a great way to make friends and pursue hobbies irl.

not anymore. i made friends and gfs from joining after school clubs and sports when i was in high school. but i feel after high school no one really want to be your friend anymore. everyone has their own life.

Do you also live in a society? Fucking cringe

I don't understand the point of this unexplained hostility. If there was a problem with my response, or if I had offended you in any way, I would like to clear it up in a civil, nice, and calm manner.