While growing up...

While growing up, my family (especially my mom) shamed me a lot for finding girls attractive to the point of her subtly yet obviously disapproving of me wanting to have sex as I got older. Now as an adult I still feel some form of shame for looking at women or finding them attractive at all. That is combined with not wanting to be "creepy" or make women uncomfortable at all (probably spend too much time on the internet if I'm honest.

Question is, how do I deal with it? How do I seek confidence? It doesn't help that I'm at the point where I refuse to believe a woman would ever find me attractive. My self esteem is that low. I know plenty of women and get along with them incredibly well, but I always listen to them talk about other men they find attractive. I'm of course, never that guy they think is cute or whatever, or I wouldn't be a virgin and rejected so much.

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Work out, eat healthy, stop giving a fuck, bee yourself.

It's really hard to not care sometimes though.

Practice not caring in different situations. You basically have to train yourself to not care, and that takes repetition and practice. You got this, user.

God forbid you encounter any difficulty in your life. Just kill yourself and jump to the end, life is a hard thing and you're not going to like it

OP says that his problem is his personality caused by his mom.
>be yourself

Answer should be change yourself. Research how to improve self-confidence

Your mom shamed you for liking girls as a man? Wtf

no shame in wanting to fuck women, we all want to, some just wanted by women more

heres the thing
a, who cares what women think, who cares what ppl think about you? you get what you want, without breaking the law, this is your task in your life, you dont need to be an asshole about it, but the basic principle is: your will comes first

b, they dont need to find you attractive in the way you think and they can still fuck you

if you are getting rejected, you are on the good path, you will succeed eventually

Can you elaborate? How can they "not find me attractive in the way I think and still fuck me?"

Yeah and my sister, I grew up with both of them. I don't know why I remember this specifically but I remember making a passive comment about "hour glass figures" (term I picked up from them), a physical observation. I was too young to even be super into women back then. They both said "you shouldn't be looking at girls like that!"

And when I finally got the sex talk it was as brief as possible. My mom said that talking about sex with her son is inappropriate and a man should be the one to do it. Of course she made no effort to find me a positive male role model as a kid and my dad was an absent fuck.

Ah, for the good old days when the air was clean and sex was dirty