The doctor's in here to provide you with advice on relationship and dating problems

Just go for it

Don't see why not?

Go for it

Cold approaching is public is usually hard because girls have their guards up.

I would go up to her, ask her name, and from her response you can tell if she likes you or not. If she does, your chancees of her saying yes is way better. Ask for her number... if the attraction level is way high, set a date.

Any experience using meet up as a social avenue to meet people?

No experience but the general rules apply

Be playful, fun and charming!

Exactly what is dating and being a relationship with someone?

>Sharing your life with her, tell her stories about?

>Enjoying thing you hate or never care only because you are with someone you like?

>Being able to talk about your hobbies and stuff you like with dont even look like a weirdo?

>Also you can tell me how i can handle sharing your more cringe moments or being cringe someone and you know maybe she is going to tell to someone else or something like that?

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i just wanted to share this with someone because I don't really have anyone. and maybe any advice if you have any.
i apologized to an old friend of mine that i treated really bad, who i hadn't seen in years. I mean i was doing drugs in front of her and being a piece of toxic shit.
I told her i went to rehab and that i'm sorry for ruining the friendship.

I didn't expect her to respond at all, but she just texted me that she's glad I'm doing better. and she would like to meet up before she leaves the state.
i always feel a lot of guilt for the things i did. but maybe i'm not so irredeemable. i hurt some people way worse than i hurt her. i guess i just have to move past that and be better and give myself some credit

>>Enjoying thing you hate or never care only because you are with someone you like?

Never do things you don't like. Never do things to with the aim to please someone.

>>Being able to talk about your hobbies and stuff you like with dont even look like a weirdo?

You can do that with a friend

>>Also you can tell me how i can handle sharing your more cringe moments or being cringe someone and you know maybe she is going to tell to someone else or something like that?

It goes with trust. And when you do cringe things, if you own up to it, its usuallt not so cringee.

>Exactly what is dating and being a relationship with someone?

Dating: going out, having fun and having sex
Relationship: exclusivity

The past is just that, the past.

What you do now is the most important. We learn our mistakes and we grow.

falling for a coworker

what do

Whats the pros and cons

What makes for an interesting person? I’m worried that I would get rejected because of me being considered boring, or me getting into a relationship and have nothing interesting to do or say in the future, I just want to know what makes someone interesting so I can try to self improve and be more like that type of person. Now, I’m not asking for a complete overhaul of my life and not being myself, but I just want more things to do or talk about, I’m sure people would get bored of me just talking about school, bodybuilding and racing all the time

It’s nice to have plans in the future. They don’t have to be grand but just to have something to look forward to.

As for what makes an interesting conversationalist is more dependent on how good of a listener you are. Ask good questions and listen.

Also slowly revealing yourself over time is better than giving your stats upfront.

Be playful and charming. Don’t anticipate. Know when to lead with questions and know when you have to share stuff about you. It’s a delicate balance.

And work on that fear of approval that’s a turn off

I'm Halp

I was considering making a similar type of thread but you beat me to it. So I will gladly take on the roll of the patient, this time.

I'm in a LDR with a girl (first mistake, i know), and we haven't had any intimacy in a few months, and while at first that was only insofar as sexual stuff (webcam, sexting, etc.) it's progressed to hardly any normal voice calls either. She's able to go to work, she's able to masturbate a couple of times a week, so the energy and sex drive is at least partially there, but she is legitimately suffering from a couple of physical and mental health issues, so I know she is actually dealing with some stuff. See, logically I -know- all of this, hence me able to write it out.
But it's emotionally hard to deal with. I think "you know, it wouldn't take that much time or effort to flirt with me, send me some nudes, make me feel like i too am wanted and valued as a boyfriend and not simply a friend or a pillar of support." But nothing. This is despite me actually being very direct and telling her I need to feel some intimacy.

So, what do you think, doc? In my mind I can only see the options of "break up, hope she fixes her stuff on her own", or "emotionally disengage to the point of effectively breaking up and just not tell her, after all it's not like we're doing anything a couple does anyway." How does it look from an outsider's perspective?

I'm a man. I have sex related ptsd from past trauma. I'm getting really, really tired of it fucking up my life. What do you suggest besides a therapist?

I'll bite. I'm in love with a 2D boy and am on a quest to find a 3d similar to him, which is going to be impossible. I know i'll only end up disappointed but I can't help but try anyway. I only see 3 ways this can end up: suicide from disappointment and loss of hope, foreveralone with husbando, or getting a 3dpd and being forever disgusted that he isn't exactly like my husbando. What do?

No, I can't just stop loving mai husbando. Yes, I know it's unhealthy.

You know how women are said to like to like "strong, dark, and handsome"? What do you think the dark means here? It means mysterious. When women (and men for that matter), don't know something about you, if they're wanting to like you, they tend to fill it in with whatever details they'd fantasize about. And reality almost never meets their expectations, so you want to keep a bit of mystery to you until she's already fallen for you, because at that point her mind will switch from "what else is this guy?~" and become "I want to know everything about him, i want to love everything about him."

>asking for a friend
There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but it is not a good idea for several reasons.
The girl is older, and girls mature faster. She's already left him developmentally behind for a good while. Secondly, if she's older and more social, why would she possibly be interested in the younger boy?

Slight addendum to this. Don't just cold cock ask her her name. Make small talk first and transition in "what's your name by the way?"

Make her fall too. Look up the suspension bridge effect, or misattribution of arousal, and then plan the next OSHA violation.

Stop ruminating (look it up) and get your mind to focus on something else. You clearly have self esteem issues so you should work to resolve those as well if you're able to. Otherwise "just" stop thinking about it, preferably by thinking about something else instead.

I wouldn't say to stop loving your husbando, but I would say to stop feeding that love and attempt to let it wither away.

>But it's emotionally hard to deal with. I think "you know, it wouldn't take that much time or effort to flirt with me, send me some nudes, make me feel like i too am wanted and valued as a boyfriend and not simply a friend or a pillar of support."

You already know this is a sign of weakness. Dependence and attachment and attributing your happiness to something as fickle as a woman. I would suggest looking at from the point of view of a mountain and a cat.

The man is the mountain, unmovable, strong, impenetrable at times, but offer shelter for the cat. The cat comes and goes, when it wants to get petted, it comes to your lap. But if you've ever had a cat, you know that out of nowhere it just leaves when it had its fill.

You want to be the mountain. Have the attitude of, "you're free to come anytime, and you're also free to leave". Girls get bored as do guys do. This is just a matter of who gets bored, and who gets needy first. Sounds like you are in the neediness stagee.

>This is despite me actually being very direct and telling her I need to feel some intimacy.

It's good that you mention this, but I hope that you do not demand this. What you want will be robbed from you, especially if they know you are craving it. Women, heck peoplee, in general are just like that.

>I can only see the options of "break up, hope she fixes her stuff on her own"

A bit drastic in my opinion. A little bit of patience and space wouldnt fix.

>"emotionally disengage to the point of effectively breaking up...

Definitely emotional disattach. But don't turn cold. Be the mountain. The man is strong and can withstand days of no intimacy.

My actionable suggestion is, whenever a woman starts to pull away, you should do less of the initiation and give her space for her to miss you. This could be taking time to reply, or reducing your contact with her. Yes, its a bit manipulative and game-y but this is the game. Be patient and pull away.

Hope it make sense.

pros : she's easily wife-tier
cons : i've worked 8 years and made many sacrifices to get where i am now and it could endanger all that

>stop feeding that love and attempt to let it wither away.
I love him so much I would die for him.
Okay, second question. Is it a dumb idea to go for asian guys just because they look sort of similar to him? If he found the husbando merch would he be creeped out?

user whats the best way to ask out a classmate who's clearly into me but I can never find a opportune time

I have never been in a position to have a specific "crush" even throughout my entire high school.
I am definitely attracted to women, but have never had a female friend, yet I desire to have A girlfriend.
I feel like it would be so much better if I actually wanted to date a specific girl, so I don't want to ask out random ones

Pulling away does not mean that she reaches out. I've tried.
>The man is strong and can withstand days of no intimacy.
It's been months. I'll probably just break up some time in the future. But thank you for answering, it's nice to have someone take the time to show they care enough to respond.

No man says on his death bed "I wish I would have worked more." Besides, you can date a co-worker without it ending drastically, and even if you ask her out and she says no that's not to say that that's going to start spiraling the end of things. If she's wife-tier, if she says no she wouldn't try to ruin your career as a result.

>is it a dumb idea to go for asian guys
The answer is the obverse of "are you asian?". If you're asian, go for it. If you're not asian, then yes, it's a bad idea. Having mixed children makes them much more likely to have a variety of mental and health disorders, and that's without even touching the social consequences of being mixed race. Miscegenation is a bad idea. Always has been, always will be.
>because they look sort of similar to him?
"is it a bad idea to date someone only because of their looks?"
gee, i don't know. what do you think?

is there a question there?

Make the time. If something's important to you, you'll find a moment or two for it.

>No man says on his death bed "I wish I would have worked more." Besides, you can date a co-worker without it ending drastically, and even if you ask her out and she says no that's not to say that that's going to start spiraling the end of things. If she's wife-tier, if she says no she wouldn't try to ruin your career as a result.
i'm dependent on the job for my visa and one thing i WOULD regret on my death bed is "i wish i didn't fuck up and have to change jobs"

you have a point regarding if she says no though

fuck

I mean you didn't mention months.

Who usually messages first, say after a week of pulling away?

Oh. Yeah, fair enough. The no sexual intimacy thing was months, the no... i don't know what to call it, "friendly" form of intimacy has been weeks. As far as who messages first after time apart, it's an even split more or less.

I don't want to make assumptions on what kind of regrets you'll die with, user. I was asked not to.
What I can tell you, is that were I in your shoes, I would ask her out. I don't think I can really feel those emotions anymore, either it's depression making me forget what things used to be like, or I've lost my youth. I'm not sure. What I can say, is that to feel that yearning for someone... it's a thing you miss having, you know?

To go back to your proverbial death bed... could you live with yourself if you never even asked her? Or if someone beats you to the punch because you hesitated, and she becomes wife-tier as someone else's wife?

Well, LDRs are very hard as you can see. It’s hard to get that full intimacy.

Maybe set up a date movie via Rabbit?
What do you guys do anyway?

And If the relationship has run it’s course then maybe it’s really done.

Dr.Strangelove why i cannot date anymore?

I see this girl but she reject me and then block me, so i have the chance with this other girl but i still have the feeling of she first girl would come back and we can be together or something like that.

What i should do now doctor?

>is there a question there?
I would like some advice, good doctor

>I don't want to make assumptions on what kind of regrets you'll die with, user. I was asked not to.
>What I can tell you, is that were I in your shoes, I would ask her out. I don't think I can really feel those emotions anymore, either it's depression making me forget what things used to be like, or I've lost my youth. I'm not sure. What I can say, is that to feel that yearning for someone... it's a thing you miss having, you know?
>
>To go back to your proverbial death bed... could you live with yourself if you never even asked her? Or if someone beats you to the punch because you hesitated, and she becomes wife-tier as someone else's wife?

I think i could live with it. I've lived with a lot of hardships for a long time.

Honestly just being able to flirt and click with a girl like her (among some other smaller things) has done wonders for my self esteem in the last 6 months.

And in a certain sense, it might be better not to try. Rejection could set that self esteem boost back quite a bit.

I am an Indian male in Michigan. I don't know if it is the social stigma which has gotten to me head or what, but I am never confident enough to talk to white girls.

I feel very lowly of myself. Apart from this, I have secluded myself. I have been here for 7 months now and I hardly have any friends. I know for sure this is hampering my confidence level.

Talk to Indian girls.
Go to New Jersey, there are tons of them there.

Treat all girls the same and you won't have this problem.

Do you havee etrouble talking to less attractive white girls? If not, it's not their whiteness rather their attractiveness that is bothering you.

In any case, practice talking to girls more.

You're holding on to something that has already left you. The problem here is your attachment. You are attached to the idea, the fantasy, the memory and the experiences you shared together.

You're hoping she'd come back, and you are stuck in the past. And here the Universe is giving you the choice of moving forward with this new girl. Yet you can't, becausee of your attachment.

You must let go. How? The long answer is mindfulness, which I won't go into. But focusing on your work, hobby, self-improvement and this thing you have with your new girl will help.

All the best.

You can't force yourself to have a crush, user.

But there's nothing wrong with playing the field and looking for girls and seeing if there's a connection there.

Be aware of your feelings. Something will catch your eye. Take the initial interest and grow it but getting to know her through datees and such.

>but have never had a female friend,

Female friends are complicated but a tremendous asset to have with learning how women act without the risk of any heartbreak. Do you have friends who have girlfriends, or perhaps the usual cashier in your local cafe? Talk to them, get to know them!

plz respond

I blocked this girl that rejected me due to that fact I would orbit around her profile and she would always get into my head in some sort of way. I blocked her and a couple hours later she blocks me on Snapchat and before she would always talk about how she wanted to talk as friends. Do you think I made a reasonable choice on blocking her on social media?

Most of my coworkerson social media were from my 2nd job, which has a high volume of people. I would on average inferact with 100+ different people a day, not including coworkers. I haven’t been on social media in just about 3 weeks, and also havent been to said job in 3 weeks (you can put up shifts for others to take) so I havent seen those people in a while.
I kinda realized I wasn’t really friends with alot of those people which has lead to a deeper realization that I can so easily just throw people to the curb and not look back. I haven’t reached out to except for one guy who’s my bro and we get drinks sometimes.
I don’t feel lonely, just alone. Like there’s a huge silence I’ve left those things and it’s pretty loud. Also not even sure I want to go back lol

PTSD sounds rough

But try mindfulness meditation or CBT

>Do you think I made a reasonable choice on blocking her on social media?

If she was getting to your head, yeah. The drama-free route is always the best. Nothing beats peace of mind.

Peace of mind is what matters.

Being selective with your friends is actually good as it invites less toxicity and drama to your life.

>indian male
>dating a white girl
Don't do this. I'm not even going to give you advice on how to do that, because I thoroughly believe it will be a bad idea for all involved.
Concerning the friends thing though, make friends the same way you would back in india; go to bars, hang out with people, other things that people do to make friends.

I need your opinion on what to do fren. Im still soul crushed from getting rejected by my long time crush, but ive finally found a girl i think i might like. anyways, im thinking about asking her out in a day or two. There are only two potential problems: first, its finals week next week, and after that, summer break. In other words, she might legit be too busy, and wed be separated for a while even if she says yes. Second, i was suicidal for a bit the last time i was rejected and there's no telling how ill be if i get rejected again before ive recovered. I also have an internship im nervous about this summer, and id rather not go insane just before. What do you think i should do?

We don't know what the future holds.

I say ask her out on a date anyway. See what happens.

Is eventually falling out of love something I should be worried about?

I don’t think you should.

I’m of the camp where I accept that things will eventually end so let’s make every moment count!

Hello. My gf and I got into a fight because I said some things that she didn't like about her parents because she kept complaining and using her parents as an excuse for being so busy. She didn't react when I sent them, but then recently blew up in my face about it.

I think I'm in the wrong here so I apologized, but how can I get these feelings out of her before things build up? We had a bad date and that set her off so she started yelling st me over text.

>how can I get these feelings out of her before things build up?

You've already apologized... and I hope it was sincere.

Just give her space for now but make sure you leave in a positive note in that you've apologized and stress how sorry you are.

She asked me out, I thought it went well but there were a couple of silent gaps while driving her home. Kissed her (not my best) but she did ask "do you wanna try again" and we kissed properly. Saw her a few days later, seemed distant compared to before she asked me out. Was busy that weekend so couldn't do anything. Didn't message her in the meantime (a mistake maybe). Saw her again this week, similarly distant. This week I asked her out again and got pic related.

It was my first date so I probably fucked it up, i dunno.

We've got a uni break right now but I still have to talk to her twice a week (in same lab group) for the next 6 weeks. I'm pretty sure its unsalvageable (but tell me if it isn't), I just don't want it to be awkward. Do I say I'm sorry if i was an ass? Play it cool? Ignore completely?

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Play it cool. If you apologise for your actions you could be seen as trying too hard. Be the mountain. She asked you out so she wants to be with you but wasn't ready to go back into a relationship after 2 months.

I have insane anxiety about dating a girl and she will end up cheating on me. I read a story about someone who was married for 40+ years, had 5 children, and fojnd out mone of them were his. I wanted to kill myself after reading that.

To clarify, I was busy that weekend - not her.

Also I say she was distant but I had to go off-campus between classes (when i normally see her). The next class she went "where'd you go?", i told her i had to go print something and asked "miss me?" and she said yea. I'm fuckign confused man.

But couldn't she just be being polite and using that as a convenient excuse. Seemed like a pretty boilerplate "its me, not you"-type message. If she was still into me wouldn't she suggest only giving her some time rather than also demoting me to friend.

I'm 19 and bf is 35. We've met for almost 2yrs and been together for almost half a year. He ended his previous 4yrs relationship then started ours. I really love,respect and look up to him but I feel like he's not that much into me, at least not as much. Should I wait and see how it goes or just end it? I really don't have much faith left and it's painful when I think that he's probably never gonna love me. I'm afraid that the longer it lasts the more attached to him I'll become. But he is a really good person and we do get along quite well. What should I do, doc?

Where did you meet this guy? Asking for a friend.

in our school.

You're doing fine.

I'm confused: Are you guys dating? Do you guys have a romantic history?

But I like your reply there, shows the attitude that "hey you free to come, and youre free to go, hmu if you wanna have fun". Not needy at all.

>I'm pretty sure its unsalvageable (but tell me if it isn't), I just don't want it to be awkward

What makes you think its unsalvageable? Proceed with your life. as usual.

But the question is, do you want to be friends or do you want to be lovers? If the latter, make it clear. Tell her your interested in being lovers, and to hit you up if she's down. Otherwise her problems are her own. You've got yours.

How to cope with the anger and hopelessness and emptiness after finding out your ex has moved on and found someone new. I can’t get the image of them fucking each other out of my head

>. Should I wait and see how it goes or just end it?

You're call. if the pain outweighs the benefits, then consider it.

>. I'm afraid that the longer it lasts the more attached to him I'll become.

Learn to love without attachment. have the attiutude that at any time this relationship can end. Nothing lasts! (This is easier said than done, but quite possible if you fix your mindset about life and relationships).

>But he is a really good person and we do get along quite well. What should I do, doc?

I would tell him what's bothering you. But the key here is that you tell him in a way that you want to fix it for the both of you, not just to blame him for his shortcomings.

>How to cope with the anger and hopelessness and emptiness after finding out your ex has moved on and found someone new. I can’t get the image of them fucking each other out of my head

Honestly, expose yourself to that thought rather than running from it. Because it will keep haunting you because the mind likes to replay the worst shit that happens to us.

This takes mental discipline. Just accept the way things are and don't react. Just observe these thoughts.

But for now, keep this in mind:
"“Work keeps at bay three great evils: boredom, vice, and need.”"

Focus on yourself and your self development. Move on. She clearly has.

When you say "nothing lasts" I don't quite understand/agree. How does this philosophy apply for marriage or long-term relationships?

eventually one of you dies, duh.

>Working in a field with almost no women
>Hobbies either imply solo activity (running, swimming, cooking) or going far away (music, next symphonic orchestra is pretty far away)
How do I meet women? I'm not a guy for clubs and I dislike Tinder because it's missing the nonverbal communication. I'm super rusty with the dating thing after being in a relationship for two years. Halp

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>ask girl out
>she's away but suggests next week
>reply asking if a day is good for her
>have had nothing in response for a while

I really can't tell if this is over because she lost interest or she's just nervous that things are progressing and starting to get flaky about it. I lean toward the former but I am a pretty hardcore pessimist.

Thank you, doc. We've been in a LDR which will finish in 3 month, and the last time I flew to see him I also had a feeling that he's less attracted to me than the beginning of the relationship. Is it supposed to be a red flag?

*physically attracted*, opps sorry.

Good advice about observing the thoughts instead of reacting. Hopefully that’s a skill that gets better with practice. Just thinking about it makes me so angry. Seeing someone out in public who looks like his new girl even sets me off. I have issues with regulating the intensity of my emotion. I get psychotic when I can’t handle what’s going on. Even after a year of therapy and medication management, my coping skills are still awful. I was close to attempting suicide two weeks ago when I found out he was dating someone new. Didn’t eat for almost a week. It broke my heart all over again.

My brother bagged a senior when he was a freshman, just do it.

Alright doc, I’m here for my second visit, wondering if you could provide some insight.

So my ex and I hung out the other day, we hadn’t seen each other in a while, and I took your advice and kept everything casual. It went pretty well, but I feel like I’m getting mixed signals. She cuddled up with me while we were watching stuff, and she would remind me I needed to leave soon, but she would still be laying on me. We kissed before I left and she said it was okay, but that we should only be doing things friends do. The attraction is back in swing on my end, but I don’t know about her. Thoughts?

Last night I woke up ejaculating
I dreamt I was being given a handjob by a girl I have strong feelings for and I woke up cumming and heavy breathing
I took a piss, double checked it was real and went back to sleep for a full night's rest
I didn't even touch my dick, it was in my underpants and I was laying on my back so there was nothing to hump
how is this possible and do you have any advice
Thanks doc

I respect your stance on race mixing but I'd like to know what you would recommend for someone who is already of mixed heritage

Doc, I've been having a lot of relationship trouble recently. Me and my girlfriend(now ex) got into an argument through text, because I felt as if she wasn't giving me enough attention. I also felt as ifshe wasn't putting all of her effort into the relationship. She refuses to speak with me in person, as she didn't want to speak to me in private, and we eventually break up later through text. It's been about 3 weeks since then, and she's told me that she fell out of love before our argument and that she isn't ready for a relationship. She told me that she just wanted to be friends, and I at first I agreed, but questioned why she no longer loved me. She seemed unaffected by the breakup, and I've been heartbroken the entire time. Everyone tells me to move on, but I think I may love her.
Do I give her time and space? I gave her a week after the breakup, and this is when she told me she just wanted to be friends.
Should I move on? What do you think doc?

I’m in the same spot as you friend, and you are better off moving on. I understand that love is hard to overcome, after all, it’s love. But she’s set boundaries and told you how she feels.

She hasn’t given you any reason why you two could still be together, and you can’t make a woman love you back. Don’t chase something that’s left of her own accord, and especially if she won’t reciprocate. Focus on you, your hobbies, and good luck.

Thank you man, I've been truly trying. I'll try to move on and look for other women, and if she comes back to me then it was meant to be. But if she doesn't, then she clearly wasn't the one.

Exactly. That’s what’s happening with mine. My ex tells me that she likes how comfortable we are, but that her feelings are all over the place, and she needs distance. She’s free to come, just as she’s free to go.

It’ll be hard, I understand. My ex doesn’t show how much this affects her, and maybe it doesn’t considering she’s in uni and I’m not, however, you need to do as I am, which is focus on yourself and get out there. Don’t cling to the girl who rejected you, find a girl who wants you.

I want to leave my girlfriend of 2 years but am afraid to do it because im a pussy. I'm her LTR and I fear she will not take it well. Fucking sucks to be in this position.

She's very immature and quite young bro, just recently turned 16. Which is most definitely the factor behind it, as she even accepted it herself. I wanted to fix things, and I guess she just doesn't want to date right now. I really hope everything works out on your side bro.

If I can give you some advice, it’s too early for that. She’s 16, she doesn’t have all of her bearings together. How much older are you then her?

If she said she doesn’t wanna date, respect her choice, leave on a good note, saying that you’ll be ready if she comes back, and focus on your life. She’s got a ton going on right now, that hardly involves you.

Appreciate the sentiment, I hope it works out for me as well. I’m very much still in love with my ex, and nothing will change that

Hey Dr. Strangelove,

I don't have any role models for healthy relationships. Any couple I've gotten to know well enough was very dysfunctional, full of resentment and fights, one completely domineering the other. I continued this trend by getting into an abusive relationship (which I am no longer in). After a lot of therapy, treatment, lifestyle changes, and more, I've grown a lot from my dysfunctional childhood, and continue to do so. Three years ago I entered a relationship that is actually very loving. I've worked out more kinks within myself since entering this relationship and things seem to be going really well.

I'm paranoid. I've never actually encountered love before this. I'm scared when I hear of people talking about the "honeymoon phase" and that all couples fight and "You know you've found the one when you want to kill them sometimes but you don't". We are sappy and lovey-dovey and tell each other how much we care about each other often. We have times where one person says or does something that made the other person feel bad, or disagree about how to do something, but we don't fight. We talk about our feelings and perceptions and it all works out. We don't raise our voice, or roll our eyes, or throw our arms into the air.

I'm scared that I'm in denial and things are actually worse than I can see. Or that this is all limited and we're just two naive lovestruck kids and it's all going to change someday. Is this relationship unrealistic?

Hey, I'm not attracted to people at all. In fact, I describe myself as an asocial misanthrope. I genuinely want all but a select few people to die.

What do I do?

Hello Dr. Strangelove,

I've been in a relationship of three years that ended a year ago. I made some mistakes (lies) and at the same time she was problematic (probably borderline) and made many mistakes as well. she is in a relationship now and is happy and I can not deal with the fact. I've been depressed for several months and I can not relate to other girls because I seem to have lost the few skills I had with flirting. I got back in touch with her this week and her indifference to me is killing me. How to escape guilt? I keep looking back and only see my own mistakes. How to overcome this fear of never again relating to anyone?

Not much older, she treated me very badly, and I tried to stay in contact with her, but my emotions got the best of me. We had a very mature relationship, and she told me she was extremely comfortable with me. Because I wanted answers I texted her, and I only hurt myself more. She blocked me, which probably means I've annoyed her.

That’s fine and shows that you genuinely care about her, but you will only cause yourself more pain by sticking around and letting her problems become you’re problems. If she blocked you, that’s a sign that she does not see you as a romantic partner, and with women, you need to take what they say now, not what they said before, seriously. Yes, they are fickle, but you need to respect her choices, even if it hurts your feelings. To me, it seems like she checked out months ago, and is taking steps now. We all wanna know answers, but digging deeper only hurts you. Take the answer she gave you, leave on a positive note and move on.

How badly are we talking, friend?

I deeply valued her, and it might be due to my maturity, but she seemed not give one shit about me immediately after our breakup. She was laughing, joking around with her friends, and looked as if she got over it entirely. She was someone I opened up to, about all of my insecurities, and she decided to tell people how I cried on the phone with her. She disregarded my trust, but I pulled through hoping that it would show her I loved her. People have different ways of coping, but idk about women.

green texting because it's simple
> 18f (me) and 25m
> i'm aware the age thing is questionable.
> i have sexual PTSD
> guy has had multiple sexual partners
>i tell him that im not comfortable with sex and that i need time
> he says thats fine and he seems to genuinely support me, he wants to be in a relationship regardless
>he doesn't appear to be forceful in the slightest
i made myself feel like i have to force myself to be comfortable with sexual things ASAP or he'll be unhappy. should i let him go and not bother being in a relationship with him because i can't give him anything sexual?

Just keep moving forward.

Stop looking at his socials. As soon as you notice youre mind making little stories and fantasies about him, or memories that you have, just immediately recognize it and shift your thoughts. This gets better with practice.

All the best.