ITT: Ask the opposite sex anything

Stop defending your sister OP she will throw you under the bus like any other female when the time comes.

Fellow shy people, why are you shy? Can you pinpoint a reason?
Now that I had corrective plastic surgery, I feel like I have no excuse to be shy anymore. But I can't change that suddenly. The physical change was quick, but the psychological change isn't (I wish it was).

*user

...

Why can I not treat girls like "one of the guys?". How do I know how far is too far? I make fun of my friends all the time, and they do it to me too. But I'm more than willing to apologize if I offend, so how sensitive should I be around girls, especially with calling them names

Former shy guy:
Social anxiety.
General anxiety of not wanting to fuck up and fail
Anxiety over not knowing what to do or how to react.

How did I change that?
>Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, bit by bit, step by step. There is no "magic moment" (or activity) that will instantly change you.

I’m literally the guy who put that in the OP many years ago, so it’s not just some meaningless phrase just stuck in there from someone who has no idea wtf they’re talking about.

Even if it meant nothing, you still have every opportunity to try. Don't worry about the age thing. Do worry about the sexual harassment thing and the overall drama that it can bring into the workplace.

how do i fuck with a guy who has been trying to get me and my boyfriend to break up so that i'll date him? ignore him?

break up with your bf, try him out and then decide

You obviously make him think he's succeeded, pretend that you're going to suck him off, convince him to meet you somewhere buck-ass naked in some horribly compromising situation and then humiliate the fuck out of him (e.g., get his family to walk in on the scene).

Just ignore him. If you try to fuck with him your bf is gonna find out and get the wrong idea. Just ignore him and if necessary tell him to fuck off.

explain this situation in more detail
what is he doing exactly
have you told him to fuck off?

Help an autist out.

A girl from work has been emotionally cheating with me (this threads words). We chat every day inside and outside of work.

Starting 2 days ago she started leaving me on read and yesterday I sent her something which she has not opened at all while her snap score increases.

It seems like she is intentionally avoiding me even though only days prior we met up for drinks.

I want to see what is up but can't if she wont answer any of my shit.

...

Basically treat women the way you'd treat a 12 year old boy

Girls

I’m 30, and I’ve been dating a 28 year old woman for 3 months now. So far we seem really compatible. Well, we were anyways. We haven’t had sex yet, because we both agreed we wanted to wait for the relationship to develop first. But.. last night we were cuddling on the sofa, and we were just talking. She said “you know, I’m jealous of all the ladies who had you before me”. I just kind of said something like “well there wasn’t many to be jealous of”. So then she kind of sat up and asked about my history. I told her I’ve only been with 2 women before. She was surprised but seemed happy. She said “you know I really like this. I get more of you just for me”. Then she kissed me. So then I asked her the same question and she said to me “well, I had a busy streak when I was young haha”. Admitted she fucked 33 different guys. And that she’s been abstinent for the past year because she decided she wants to find a nice guy and have a real relationship

I feel so mind fucked right now. I never ever would have thought this girl was a slut. She is so nice, and she’s had no issue about us going 3 months without sex. What the fuck

sorry dude

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lmfao sounds like my first gf

either deal with it or get out of there if it's too much for you, there is no in-between

I thought I did everything right. I was always told that if you wait a few months before having sex it will help you find a nice girl.

>sounds like my first gf
What happened to you and what did you do

>I was always told that if you wait a few months before having sex it will help you find a nice girl.
That's the reasoning she's now operating on lmao

We had agreed to wait a while for had no issues with that at all. She was happy with the idea

yeah you did it right
just be happy you only wasted 3 months on her
could be much worse
be glad you didn't fuck her
go out and find the girl you deserve

It’s just really fucking frustrating. I don’t get a ton of dates or anything. But almost everytime the girl expects sex within the first few dates. So I always stop dating them. This girl was the only one who actually wanted to wait. But now I find out she used to be a slut.

Oh I was totally fine to deal with it. I was 32 she was 30. Same deal: She fucked her way across the UK when she was in grad school then came home and started to settle down. Thing is she was into the same kinks as me, which I knew would never happen with an inexperienced girl. Basically she gave me the "I could be with any other guy I wanted if that's all I wanted, but I wanted you so I chose you" pep talk and it actually resonated with me.

Anyway she had other problems just beneath the surface that I was *not* prepared to deal with, and after a fight that culminated in her yelling at me for 8 hours over the course of two days about everything from the fact that I didn't pick up the check at dinner once to my career development, I got the fuck out of there.

My take now is that the being a whore as a twentysomething isn't disqualifying unless she has a disease from it. But the mental problems they have that either fed into it or resulted from it (she definitely had both) are absolutely disqualifying.

So maybe have a talk about mental health. Figure out if there's anything seriously wrong with her personality. I knew this girl for 5 years before we dated—though all of that was long distance—and I never knew quite how mental she was.

Gonna make it short and simple. How do I ask girls out? (I’ve never have a girlfriend before btw)

Haha, just use this girl for sex and don't get emotionally involved. This girl is not girfirned material. Also, don't EVER talk about your sexual history with a girl you're interested in. EVER. That's just retarded.

This girl seems to be mentally sound. But she was a fucking slut. How am I suppose to date a slut when I was not a slut?

>Also, don't EVER talk about your sexual history with a girl you're interested in. EVER. That's just retarded.
explain that one
sounds like you've never been in a relationship

>use her for sex
How would that benefit me at all?
>don’t talk about your sex history
girlfriends always want to know

You interact with them for a bit, usually within the context of the place you're both at and/or the situation you're both in. Use humor to make it a pleasant conversation and sincerity to display your genuine interest in getting to know them. Then mention something fun you are planning to do and ask them if they'd like to join you.

Prerequisites for this process are being physically attractive, well groomed, dressed properly, charismatic, confident and generally pleasant to be around.

It's surprisingly easy but a bit nuanced.

First off, there's the girl. You generally should not go for girls who are more like confidantes than friends, nor should you go for particularly close friends. You should also not go for girls who don't know you from a stranger. Acquaintances, people you have met and talked to a few times and find interesting, are your best bet for asking out on a first date. This doesn't mean you can't get dates with either group, it just means your chances of success, and in particular, your number of successes per hour invested in the individual person, will be extremely low.

The key is throughput. You don't commit to an individual person before you're dating exclusively.

The other key is that the first date is a coffee date. You need to see if you even like the girl, and whether she’s into you at all. Moreover coffee has almost zero pressure: it can be short, it doesn’t require specific clothes or dressing nice, it costs very little, it’s public and not secluded anywhere (so she doesn’t have to worry about you making aggressive moves), and honestly the girl was probably going to Starbucks anyway. You buy her coffee, you sit and chat, and if you feel a connection you ask her out on date #2. If you feel a good connection you might even continue the coffee date over dinner spontaneously. And if one of you turns out to be a psycho or was lying about their photos, you can end the date after a few minutes with no real loss.

You don't talk about your sexual history because it ruins the mystery of what she views you as. By what you said she thought you where a guy who gets a lot of girls and she was into that, now she knows you're a guy who can't get girls or is "conservative" and can use that to leverage her power on you. She has been with 33 guys and knows how to use sex to her advantage. Meaning she will justify making you wait for sex to keep you hooked.

>How would that benefit me at all?
By getting some experience so when you do find the girl that isn't a slut you don't get nervous about sex. But you seem like you would be weak to having sex with her so I wouldn't avise fucking this girl. Most likely will use you later on.

>This girl seems to be mentally sound.
So did mine. Mentally sound and QUITE successful. In fact one of the things she was shouting at me about was that I was starting to act like her place was our place and that bothered her for some reason.
>How am I suppose to date a slut when I was not a slut?
She probably doesn't see herself as a slut. Easy peasy.

For me I started to come around to the whole idea that it's easier for me because I don't need to worry about breaking the girl in as far as my kinks are concerned. She knew what she liked and wasn't afraid to give feedback so we could both enjoy each other better.

Like, seriously, I was in your shoes when the whole "I like you" bit happened. I knew she was a slut from the word go, but I liked her for some reason. So we talked about it. She got to say her bit and it resonated with me. And I still liked her.

Really though man, it doesn't make you a saint if you put up with something that you view as disqualifying. Nor does it make you a saint if you dump her because she's a whore only to look for a "more pure" girl. Do your own analysis of what your values are and what you think you can handle. Every girl will have her own share of problems.

that's literally all conjecture

being open and honest is the most important part of a healthy relationship. getting things out in the air early is a good thing, because you can't keep secrets forever. time will always tell.

on my part, i'm a 30 year old virgin who just started seeing a girl. it's been two months and she made strong sexual advances early on in the relationship which i denied. this pissed her off of course, but then i explained that i'm a prude virgin and ever since she's been more than happy to relax and take it slow. i'm an asshole because i'll probably never end up sleeping with her because she's lazy and unmotivated and not marriage material, but she's fun in the meantime.

>being open and honest is the most important part of a healthy relationship
Except this girl isn't relationship material and will never be worthy of a "healthy relationship". Shes damaged.
Things like:
>you know I really like this. I get more of you just for me
That's such a huge red flag its crazy.

Any advice? I'm overthinking and going crazy.

>Meaning she will justify making you wait for sex to keep you hooked.
Retarded. I was the one who said I wanted to wait for sex. She agreed. But it was my idea.

>> is only for hookups, don't go there for real people!
>Fuck off

thats tru tho

No shit she agreed. She would have done that anyway. I'm telling you right now this girl is going to use you if what you said is true. But hey you go ahead.

Use me how?

You know when ladies say stuff like that we intend for it to be an expression of affection, right? It has no bearing on whether or not we're a jealous cunt. Sure I don't want you fucking other women while you're in a relationship with me but you're free to jack off and admit that other chicks are hot.

I don't know her personally but that's on you to figure out what she wants you for. You need to ask good questions that aren't too direct to see what she is really thinking. Could be emotional, needing somebody to take care of her future kids, or just somebody to use temporarily until she finds somebody else. Who knows with women like this. If you like her keep stuff like this keep your distence.

yes it is true that you should fuck off

It depends on the context of when it was said and how she is. When looking at sombody who you find to be a potential partner you need to look at ALL their actions and words in combination to see how they are.
The statement in of itself is not a problem its all the things she said and did that is making it a problem.

Girls, how did you meet your SO?
how did you started dating?

Your girl fucked more guys than I fucked prostitutes. This makes me less of a whore than her, right?

>why cant women give a straightforward rejection
>tinder is only for hook ups, dont go there for relationships
>fuck off

Lol, how about women fuck off for beating around the bush? Also tinder is non ironically for chads to fuck girls, the girls go on there to seek dick, the guys go to seek pussy, your odds of finding a good relationship are extremely low if you go on tinder

Also
>Coffee is the preferred first date, but any of the following may work: lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, froyo, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, gallery, park, .
Lmao, fucking coffee? Take her to a bar, pregame in your car, keep drinking at the bar, and you can be ballsdeep in her within a few hours
If she doesn't wanna drink in your car right out of the gate then she will warm up to it while on the date, then go back to the car, drink moar, go back inside

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Alright so I'm trying to ask this girl out, but I can't find an opportunity to be alone with her to do it. She's in my friend group so I see her often in a group context, but I've only had a few one-on-one moments with her (which were quite nice and are what make me think she's interested). I can recall two moments when I could've asked her out, but I wasn't sure about it back then. Now I'm sure but there's only 2 weeks left to the semester and I'm afraid I'll miss my chance. So, girls or guys, how can I make an intimate moment happen with her ? Both times it happened she was the one who initiated it by asking me to leave college with her, for example

>be me
>gloom and doomer
>dark thoughts
>believes in conspiracies like population control, royal bloodlines, secret societies, false flag terrorism pedophilia in hollywood and washington dc, etc
>when someone dies i think, "good they're free from this hell on earth"
>aside from the pain i'd have to endure and the mourning of those who might care about me, i could care less if i live or die

how big of a red flag is this to women?

It has 0 impact on how they feel UNLESS you let them know

I'd be fine with everything except the conspiracy theory shit. It makes you sound irrational and dumb.

Guy here, I guess this question is for both girls and guys but I'm moving out for the first time soon and I was wondering the pros and cons of living with a female roommate or if it's even worth it at all.

Guy here. Personally I have never lived with a female roommate but I know a lot of men who have and I've heard mixed things. Almost all of them say the woman almost always leaves the place filthy. Clothes everywhere. Makeup and other shit all over the bathroom counter. I've heard a few guys say they have never had a female roommate who didn't want to hook up with them at some point as well. Again, only a few of them said this.
Another thing to keep in mind -- and this is a dealbreaker for me -- is she will bring other men over to your place.

Don’t do it man.

This. Women who live without a man (meaning a SO) are filthy pigs.

why the fuck and people stupid and insist on doing everything/learning the hard way?

You never tell a woman your body count user.

So I come from lower middle class family but I used to go to a pretty wealthy school and now I have insecurity about wealth among other things.
So is not rich considered a dealbreaker for woman? I'm afraid even if I got dates or gf she will leave me for a richer guy.

Welp 24 hours unread.

Brb killing self.

Some things you should keep in mind while talking to a female friend is
1. Don’t being up sexual things unless she does, and if you do make sure to joke about it or don’t go into too much detail.Try not to make her uncomfortable.
2. You can tease girls and make fun of them, I just wouldn’t go for appearance. There’s usually lots of pressures for girls to look a certain way and someone pointing out that you don’t fit into a standard is really troubling. I wouldn't advise it, but if you do make it VERY clear that it’s a joke.

Beacuse that's how we are as humans. Learning from experiences. However there are some questionable things people do.

Yeah pretty much she won't tell you anything. I don't know the story but if she's ignoring you that's kinda a bad thing. From what you have said I'm assuming she is acting different. Time for you to get ready to move on. May as well start now.

why dont they copy people who aren't fucking stupid? or spend the 2 sec it takes to analyze a decision?

Yeah we talk endlessly normally. Gold hearts on snapchat, all that shit. Then suddenly nothing and being ignored.

I will see her Monday at work, but that might be awkward as fuck.

Girl here.

How do I get out of my rut and meet guys? I desperately need to fuck.

Just open a dating profile and pick the best looking ones there. For also getting decent guys, find a cute one on the subway and slip a note with your contact and name. Or head out on Saturday night to any bar or club and pick someone.

Women: where is it okay to 'meet' you ? I don't really drink and me and my friends don't go to clubs. I don't like cold approaching women so what sort of activities do you do where I could do and just talk with you about them and see where it leads.

I'm sorry if this is a creepy question. Thank you

Anywhere, as long as you come up with a decent reason to.

There's no getting out now, whore. You dug yourself into this pit.

How should I go about asking a girl if she has a boyfriend? While I don't want to hurt her feelings after we become friends, it feels a bit weird to just ask when we barely met.

Do something you are interested in, and not to hit on women. We know the difference.

I've always been rather timid but my father beat me and I'm sure that didn't help.

Weird I've lived with three different girls and they were always cleaning up shit, like constantly. Couldn't read in peace for an hour without some vacuuming it seems.

How does the "going exclusive", or whatever you want to call it, conversation even work?

I can't fathom stumbling my way through it. In the past its just sort of happened but now I'm older I've found myself in the position where it seems necessary for things to go any further....

Did anyone here have real positive experiences with relationships? Stuff like 2+ years, your partner actually caring about your happiness, not getting dumped for a bullshit reason, your ex not getting someone new in a few weeks.

I mainly am ghosted and having dates cancelled before it even gets to that. And the few relationships I had never lasted more than 3 months.
It could very well be my fault I guess, but it's not like I can figure what I'm doing wrong if I'm always bullshitted that I'm awesome but they have personal problems and so on.

I'm losing hope in ever finding someone who won't treat me like shit.

I've reached the point I'm annoyed and angry at it, like its some parasite preventing me from living the life I want. Started doing things to spite it. Forcing myself through things I might not want to do regardless of the anxiety just to make 'it' suffer.

I'm not sure its a healthy way to see it but it seems to have worked to some extent because I've had the best year or so of my life.

I was thinking about this yesterday, I think the reason why people in general wish to learn the hard way is because the lessons learned from practicality sticks with you longer than just knowing the theory. And learning from experience is one of the best ways to make things stick to you because you go through it, you're an active agent in the process not a passive observer. People will buy self help books but not really improve their lives, they got all the advice they need but it doesn't help them because they don't apply themselves.

Are women generally opposed to having flings with men in relationships?
Like, is the fact that I have a gf and kid but we have a "flexible" relationship a turn off?

Ignore the fact that they might have a boyfriend and flirt as per normal.
Later, when you feel a vibe, either she'll mention it her self or in a casual conversation ask them something like "that's a nice ring/necklace/scarf, your boyfriend get that for you?" Or "man, that is a terrible "thing" you have there, your boyfriend should get you a new one or something"

Is hitting on a co-worker a no-go in your opinion?

You're just getting cucked, cuck.

Yes. Because it is a direct sign of you having zero dignity or integrity. Not exactly traits that make you a man worth breeding. And wanting to fuck someone is (ignoring unhealthy kinks) the physical equivalent of saying „you seem like someone who‘s genes are worth getting passed on“.
Besides, there are MANY stories of people thinking they have a „flexible“ relationship but have never actually took the time and energy to discuss ALL the rules, which is a straight pah to disaster.
So, just to check: what are the rules you and your gf have set in place and how did you find rules you can both agree on?

as someone who has just blurred the lines with one and it is about to implode. yeah I wouldn't recommend this feeling

Girls with asperger boyfriends

How do you make preliminary plans for dates if you're not sure about your schedules and the time of date might change? He gets very excited even if he doesn't show it, but I also sense that he's just as disappointed when the date gets pushed back or canceled, even if he doesn't express it like that.
What would be the easiest and clearest way to tell him our plans that might change later? I'm talking about soft spontaneous plans made for later in the same day that could be interrupted or changed by unforseen events or forces of nature. For him "maybe later today" literally means later today.

I don't want to talk to him like a bureaucrat.

>tfw I think I might be a sperg now

How do you make advanced on someone without being creepy? Doesn't have to be in a sexual way, I just want to know how to get to know people of the opposite sex better

advances* I'm a guy btw but I'd like to hear advice for both sexes

>"maybe later today" literally means later today.
what the fuck does it mean then?

Maybe means might or might not and things are subject to change, maybe.