HOW DO I GET IT? I KEEP PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A FUCKING OUCAST LOSER TO THESE NORMIES EVEN WHEN BEING “OPTIMISTIC”.
Did you make it out?
HOW DO I GET IT? I KEEP PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A FUCKING OUCAST LOSER TO THESE NORMIES EVEN WHEN BEING “OPTIMISTIC”.
Did you make it out?
You can make it out. Just explain your situation a bit more please
Dress better.
I'm an an asocial introvert but I get invited to parties and people seem to only talk to me because they like my outfit.
I’m a bit socially anxious and I always feel weird or like an outsider when I talk to people. I’m part of my college music club but I feel like I don’t belong, I'm a little too quiet, not super music-inclined and I’m not super quick witted.
I just feel like people see through me or something
Keep going
Confidence comes from years of doing stuff that scares you and overcoming it . It's the knowledge that you have what it takes to deal with the challenges of life.
The fact that you are even in the club is great! Too many nervous anons try to isolate, but at least you're around some company
Yeah, they know who I am and everything but still. I just feel like I’m deluding myself.
That’s why I keep trying, I’m my own investment. But man it really feels like I’m spinning in my wheels lately. All these years of trying and I still go home with nothing to do, no one to meet
I know how you feel. I've been working on this stuff for years too. The progress comes slowly and unexpectedly, but one day you'll find people will be hitting you up to hang out and wanting things from you.. girls too. Just keep at it and have faith, you're always incrementally improving and facing your fears while most other people are simply coping and rotting away.
How many members in your club? If not too many, why not invite them to go watch a movie? Doesn't have to be one you like, it's more the time spent together. Feigning a basic level of interest can't hurt, so try to organise a small event, which will help people have a better platform to talk to you on
How long did it take you to get there? I’m gonna keep trying but I’m curious. And you’re right, I should probably make plans with some people.
If I’m being honest, I don’t even think I have that kinda connection with them. Plus they’re hella busy and that scares the shit outta me.
DONT BELIEVE IN YOURSELF OP. BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!
Can you maintain conversation with them? Also wdym busy?
Kinda yeah but I can’t seem to have fluid long-lasting conversation with a lot of them. I guess I need to work on my conversation skills (or maybe I’m a quiet person?).
I miss you every day
you can start with small things like casuak problems from life and when you deal with it go to harder one thats it
>How long did it take you to get there?
I don't really view it as a finish line or anything. I consider self-development/improvement one of, if not the most important thing in life. I've been at it for, I don't know, close to 10 years I guess. In the beginning it was mainly to get girls, but now I just keep going because it feels great to watch yourself grow as a person. To become cooler, harder.. to get to the point where the shit that traumatized you years ago wouldn't even make you flinch. It's really its own reward.
I tried this for so long and I’m finally caving to start medication. It’s not a fix, but hopefully it will give me enough of a boost to get out there more and learn the social skills to then build the life I need to feel confident
I should really take this to heart, thanks man
You dont need confidence. You need looks.
Lol you think so?
I know so
Like the other user said, it's good that you're in the club. It's not enough though. Take it from somebody who's wasted years doing the whole "do stuff that interests you, join clubs, take cooking classes, gym, etc..." all the standard bullshit normies who think they know what they're talking about will tell you to do (even though they never did any of those things). You can set yourself up in as many social situations as possible and it still won't get you any friends or a gf or whatever you're looking for unless you put a bunch of extra effort on top of that.
I guess I'd suggest you make sure to take every opportunity to spend times with that club as a group, and just watch and take note of how people interact with each other, and just fucking copy them. Bad news is that people don't like you for you, so just learn how to act like somebody people do like.
You’re probably right about the extra effort but fuck that other shit is depressing. I always wanted to be the most genuine (and confident) version of myself I can be around people.
And yeah I should spend more time with them and others but man it’s hard to break out of the comfort zone I have where I just spend like an hour or so chillin with them.