GIOYC

Something is seriously wrong with you. You’re the most inconsistent person I’ve ever known. You make me feel crazy. I’m starting to think you’re a drunk or mentally ill. I care about you but I’m kinda over it. I can’t stay. I don’t feel safe. So it’s lucky for you, I guess.

I can't stop thinking about her and it's starting to scare me

Ex?

No, someone I've been talking to regularly

It seems you're in love. Great feeling, man.

Wall of vent incoming.

To Alaina.

You know, I've stuck by you for about 8 years. We've both been by each other through thick and thin. But quite frankly, I've come to realize that I can't fucking stand you, even despite our history.

I've had a lot of time to think to myself. About everything. I will always love you. You are the only woman I've been with that I actually would have married. I would have given you my last name, and I would have been your husband...but of course, that's difficult when you live in Florida, and I live California. I still wish we could have made the relationship work between us. It's rare to find a pretty, chubby girl who plays video games, has huge tits, a high sex drive, has such a magnetic personality, intelligence, and such a fire with herself...but I haven't forgotten your past sins.

I always knew you were in the closet about your sexuality. The fact that you constantly gay bashed people for no reason was an immediate flag that you were so fucking deep in the closet that you might as well had gone to Narnia. And I accepted that. I helped you realize that there's no shame in liking what you like, despite yelling at me, and getting into full-blown fights that almost ended our relationship for not following the 'Good Christian Teachings' you were supposedly raised with. That wasn't the biggest sin you committed against me.

(1/?)

Now, a question for you...how the fuck are you going to fucking lie to me, and say that you weren't chasing after other people behind my back? Let alone a fucking 16-YEAR OLD GIRL LIVING IN INDONESIA. On top of that, you fucking decided to do this shit to me, behind my back, while I was in College part-time, and working fucking 60 HOURS + A WEEK TO SEND YOU MONEY TO HELP TAKE CARE OF YOU, YOUR PREGNANT MOTHER, AND THE FUCKING SHITSTAIN THAT KNOCKED YOUR MOM UP?! You know your best friend was keeping me informed the entire time, right? Because your best friend apparently wanted better for me than YOU did. She actually had my back. I chewed you out for it, left you sniveling in a puddle of your own tears. That's not even the biggest sin you've committed against me, as far as I'm concerned.

After that miserable stunt you tried to pull, I broke up with you. And funny enough, I had a fucking king's selection of gorgeous women who would have sucked me dry on the spot if I asked...but wanted time away from women, because you legitimately had me contemplating suicide for the second time since I met you...and I was ready to fucking end myself if it weren't for the strange lady on the bus who later on became the neighbor who lives behind me. I wanted you...only you. I chewed you out once...and came crawling back with my fucking tail between my legs because I thought I was in the wrong. You drove me to near-suicide for your fucked up actions, and somehow made me think I was in the wrong for being pissed off...and somehow, THAT isn't even the biggest sin you've committed against me.

(Previous was 2/?)

And you realized what we had too, because after you smartened up, and stopped fucking around with girls that could have gotten your stupid ass locked up, you were you again. We had our time apart, and our distance...and somehow you were back to being the woman I fell in love with, and for a time...I seriously considered breaking up with my own girlfriend I had gained during the time period where we lost contact, just to see if something was there, if something could be salvaged...I'm glad I didn't though...because this is where you did the one thing that set me off on this tangent. Your greatest sin against me.

You threw away everything that I had loved about you...or maybe, I just realized that it wasn't ever there. Perhaps I was blind. Perhaps, I just wanted you to find the success I thought you deserved. Maybe I wanted to fuck you senseless while I sucked on your tits, and leave you Wheelchair-bound from the sheer pounding. Maybe it was a combination of all three of those motives, but no matter the motive, one thing was always constant...and that was the fact that I cared about you...but that is no longer what it once was.

(3/?)

Because now, you're dating her. That insipid, whiny, pathetic little twig of a cunt. None of us trust her. None of us particularly even like her. She's taking over your entire existence. She's manipulating you by giving you the attention that you fucking ignored when I tried to give it to you. She knows about our history...and because of that, this fucking slag LOVES to rub it in my face about how she's fucking privileged enough to be able to LITERALLY quit her job, abandon her apartment, abandon her entire fucking life. and fucking move from Kentucky to Florida to move into YOUR HOUSE THAT YOUR MOTHER TAKES CARE OF AND PAYS FOR, ALSO WHILE WORKING FULL-TIME AND RAISING YOUR LITTLE SISTER, because you can't fucking hold down a job for longer than 3 months. You are actually just feeding off of the kindness of your own fucking family...and I sit here and wonder why the fuck I love you. The fucking twat rubs in the fact that she can sleep next to you, and I'm not allowed to say anything back because if I do, I'm the jealous Ex-Boyfriend...yet, when I had female friends that I talked to AFTER we split up 3 years ago, you got SOOO PISSY at me, like you still fucking owned me. Over the course of the last 7 months...I watched the fire within you die. I watched the woman I loved and adored cease to exist...much like how you say that the woman your mother once was, had died. That...is what kills me.

(4/?)

I'm unsure if I have any applicable skills. I won't know unless I go into the program, but I've lived my entire life like this. I'm not sure if any man made system can give me the closure I need.

Last night, as I heard your girlfriend whispering dirty shit into your microphone while we gamed together, which then led to you claiming that you'd "be right back", followed by being left alone for almost 2 hours...I snapped. I finally was pushed to a point where I no long care. I looked back upon the entire time we knew each other, from the first encounter through friends on Xbox Live, to this exact moment...and while we did have some good times, reading between the lines only dug up all the shit you buried to cover yourself, and manipulate me into this sick state of mine. The control from this point onward, is lost. You are removed from my life. You have no form of communication to me any longer. You can continue to pursue your relationship...but just understand this. The way you treat people will come back to haunt you. You want to re-kindle friendship with your best friends, and yet you put in no effort, and care nothing for their lives. You want to keep me wrapped around your little finger like some toy you can throw away when you no longer need it, while failing to realize how much I would do for you out of pure love, and forgetting what I already have sacrificed for you? No longer. Time's up, and quite frankly, you've more than overstayed your welcome in my existance as a person.

You're making your bed, and you best fucking believe that when the time comes, you are going to lie in it, and be more miserable than you could ever imagine.

Forever Yours, but no longer standing beneath your banner,

user.

(Final Part)

I couldn't do it today. I went to work but they took my equipment out of the locker and probably don't know where it is. I left and went to a state park. I never intended to leave the park but managed to wander back out. I want out.

Do what?

>it's another "friends all hang out with each other and conveniently forget you and will call you overreacting toxic psycho if you say anything about it" episode

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WHY MARIA WHY

You're really cool. You have the life I wish I could have even if only for a day. I want to talk to you more and be more genuine, but I feel like I am nothing next to you. I really am not much at all. I'm too inadequate to be your friend.

I want to see the moon someday with my own eyes.

Why would it scare you?

I wish he was a just a normal nice guy. Had I known who he was and his womanizing ways, I wouldn't have fallen in love with him. Fuck.I hate my life. I am so stupid.

I seriously want to bash my head open on a wall. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID.

About to take a nightwalk because I'm not sure anymore what I want to do with my life.

It's a stupid dream, I'm a stupid girl. I need to stop this.

Loneliness is becoming to heavy to deal with, im going to go full crazy mode for this month and a week, in hopes of getting ripped enough to attract girls in the summer. If I fail to be with a single female this summer I don't know what i'll become like. Probably a bitter incel. Which is worse than being dead

It would be, if I knew for sure if she felt even remotely the same. I keep trying to summon the courage to give it a go but I keep talking myself out of it.

I've never felt this way before. I've had crushes and flings before, but this is something different. I guess I'm scared but it's so foreign to me

I can't wait to see you.

I wanna kill myself

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Is this an online friendship?

That's so sweet. She would be lucky to have you. What's your next step?

I used to think that most human being were rational or good-intencioned, I no longer think such a thing, most people are evil and arbitrary, thou they tend to fool themselves to think otherwhise, the more experience I gather, the more my assumptions do reinforce.

Ok. So, let me get this straight:
>as a paleolibertarian, you are against all forms of debt
>you call people who live in small houses and drive small cars "cucks"
>you find pride in driving a 4x4 (how big is your dick bro? Seriously)
>you are against both technological and social progress
>you hate Industrialisation while enjoying its perks all day and wasting 12 hours in the internet every single night
>you are against poor people having kids and you are a warmonger, but you also want to save the white race from extintion and rise its low fertily rate
>you are a Christian, but you hate the jews
>you are against labour unions
>you call wageslaves "wagies" and you call good students and hard pasionate workers "tryhards"
>you are against Academia, thou you call other people "retards" and "illiterate" constantly
>you are both against public welfare and private charities
>you think that socialism failed at the USSR but it does thrive at Scandinavia because slavs are subhuman
>you are an elitist, but you call other people "uppity"
>you hate both rednecks and urbanites, both you don't want them to swarm your suburbs
I think that it is time for you to far-rightist like you to stop pretending that you care about the victims of communism at all.
Your level of stupidity and mental gymnastics is astonishing.
You are like a fucking walking steriotype, you are like a fucking walking political satirical cartoon drawn by a left winger, and the fack that you have 500k subscribers is quite worrying and it helps to reinforce my previously stated misantropy, you moron.

I say go for it bro!

why do you ask that?

I don't know. Any advice?

My personal experience shows to me that people who hate political correcteness the most are normally individuals with low education and a poorly furnished vocabulary who cannot change their ways so they decide to try to change other people's ways.

J?

I've been trying to convince myself she is being honest but I know she is not

No

Get over yourself. You sound like some privileged uppity, rich kid that looks down upon all the poor people who couldn't afford an education. Go fuck yourself and your superiority complex.

Religion has to be replaced by spirituality. It's the only damn way there will ever be peace.

honest about what?

It's been two months and I still think about her everyday i can't get over it it scares me. I just want to kill this last bit of hope that she will come back i hate this, everything i do feels like a distraction i just want to be with her.

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I'm so tired of people trying to tear me down. Trying to tear other people down. Fuck off. Just fuck off.

I gotta learn how to stop sweating the small shit. It drives me and the people around me nuts.

I'm also mad at the world. I still have faith in the amazing people around me, but the amount of degenerates falling for stupid bullshit is maddening. Can't they see they are being brainwashed? That if they talked to people in the real world for 3 seconds they would change? Racists and selfish dicks and npcs and incels and autistic fucks on the internet. They should all be exterminated. No one would miss them

O?

I may be able to help you put this feeling into words depending on your answer.

Dont. At least try to run away and totally change your life.

How did she break up with you?

i'm kinda scared of being mean but i've been trying to tell people nicely to leave me alone bc i'm not well without my antidepressants (along with the shitstorms happening around).

i've resorted to shutting people away, being cranky, doing minimal work, and making more attempts by overdosing (clearly did not work fml)

do i have to confront people so i won't become cranky towards them or do i endure it just so i won't be alone?

The more in love I am, the more I am insanely jealous. I don't think I can stop. It's not good.

oh my god game of thrones has no nudity tonight this is going to be an EPIC FUCKING BATTLE

for some reason they have a lifespan long enough to spread their bullshit on majority of the population.

you seem to have abandonment issues. have you experienced any form of abandonment from family and/or friends? it might be the reason why you become really jealous when you fall in love

She said she doesn't see it working out with me right now but still has feelings for me and still wants to be friends i told her i can't do that.I wish she would just block and ghost me honestly.

don't, please. give it 24 hours. if after that you still won't change your mind/still don't feel better, then it's up to you.

I asked you out on a limb knowing you might would say "no" and just a day after you told me you're feeling lonely as a stray cat, why am I always such a naive asshole thinking you will give up your emotional edgyness and "nothing that grows me, etc." to actually show yourself a little vulnerable and accept that you miss me too. Then why you say no?

You emotional sterile bitch, you, I won't be committing the same error again. As far as it minds me, you can die alone.

No, I don't have abandonment issues, my parents were always solid, stable forces in my life and never divorced.

got any insecurities which you think might make the other person leave you for someone else?

Tough situation user. Your intuition is leading you in the right direction, albeit a painful one. If you cut all contact with her she will learn quickly what it's like not to have you in her life. The alternative is you give her the emotional support she wants until she finds a replacement for you which will double the pain when she cuts you out for good after finding another man.

She doesn't know what she wants and a person that doesn't know what they want cannot be trusted. She may say she wants to be friends but what she really means is that she wants to try out other guys before she makes a decision. Trust that she doesn't know what she wants because that's about all you can trust right now.

Stand your ground, cut all contact and remove her from social media. It will hurt but this will allow healing to take place.

Probably. I do like myself but I don't have the confidence that others like me.

Im sorry user. its absoulutely absoulutely abysmal when people disrespect your heart like this. I'm glad at least that her best friend kept you informed but I know that doesn't dull the pain. You're strong user for pushing through this. you made the right decision to leave her.

>and I'm not allowed to say anything back because if I do, I'm the jealous Ex-Boyfriend..

I know what its like to not be able to say anything. I hate that feeling of people breaking your heart and you are left to pick up the mess.

at least you were able to vent ):

She turned you down, get the fuck over it. She doesn't owe you anything.

I know none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. He is everything I absolutely love and hate all rolled into one human. I must see myself in him to hate these things as much as I do.

Is it possible to meet a girl that is good gf material at a metal concert? I can say who the artists are gonna be if that changes anything.

gotta work on your self-esteem, man. preferably with the help of your loved ones. at first it'll feel uncomfy, receiving compliments and whatnot. but over time, you'll get used to it as you work through your insecurities. i know it's bad for your potential partner to endure it when you get really jealous, but it's also probably very difficult for you bc you don't know how to control it. since you want to actively work on it, perhaps you'll get over the issue soon. best of luck.

It's comical that I'm even thinking these thoughts. I must love emotional pain.

are you actually internalizing your issues against him instead of talking it out because you care for him so much? maybe that's why the hate stands out as much as the love does. then again, they're two sides of the same coin.

That's the weird thing, I have great self esteem. I don't even really care what people think I me because I love who I am. I just don't have trust in other people to do the right thing.

Do most people remember what they learn in high school?

I’m in an abusive relationship, but it isn’t all bad. Is that what abused people say?

I've changed my ways, I don't think he has changed.

It largely depends, why?

I don't remember anything really. I'm not typical though I don't think.

i prefer saying stuff like that irl because i think through texts such words lose their meaning and aren’t that special anymore

Would you even like me then if I changed into what you want me to be?

I doubt it.

No matter how much I try to fix myself I always shoot myself in the foot.

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I lose my boner every fucking time I put a condom on.
I'm so annoyed. I don't want to have to trust my pull out game.

Fuck you Nick. Learn some fucking empathy you narcissistic assheaded NPC. Die.

>learn some empathy
>Die

The things we hate in others are the things we despise most about ourselves

I'm surprised that you can't take a joke as easily as you take a dick.

I bought a fleshlight and I've been extremely stoked to use it but I can't because I live in a shared dorm until tomorrow. I'm gonna jerk off so hard.

Took me a while to get out of my shell, I'm sorry. Someday I'll tell you why I'm so emotionless and cold, maybe you'll understand then. Anyways, I think I'm ready to love you now

You're a terrible person to demean me the way you have. You didn't make me into anything. Those guys loved me for me, despite you tearing me down. It had nothing to do with you.

Hey Holly

Why did you have to do this? Kiss me goodbye and go on a holiday to Italy to meet a "friend". Send me photos of Venice and Italy, making me think that you're thinking of me ... And then when I pick you up from the airport casually drop about how you had sex with him, and it was ok, you know, based on the connection.. I know that we weren't dating or anything, because I knew that you wanted space having recently come out of a constricting relationship.

But did you not even consider what this would mean to me? I tried to be brave for you as I listened, because you hate drama and guys being clingy... But I don't know if I can do this anymore. I haven't felt so ripped in so long... Work is in 3 hours and I'm gonna go see patients and I don't know how I'm gonna do things right for the next few days.

How can you do casually ask if we'd be going for partner dancing on Tuesday like nothing ever happened?

You've become pretty open about your sexuality and sexual related jokes.
You're definitely getting fucked aren't you?

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I want to go clubbing but my head hurts tonight.

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Well, that depends, where are you at now?

Can you say it here?

It’s a really good point. I needed to hear this even if it’s not written for me.

It's a fucking sunday

You're disgusting.

Let me guess...you're a man?