Am I the asshole for not being comfortable with my girlfriend posting suggestive photos on Instagram?

Am I the asshole for not being comfortable with my girlfriend posting suggestive photos on Instagram?

I've been dating my girlfriend for a couple months now and it's been mostly okay. I knew that she was involved in social media, didn't really care. I give all my partners a reasonable level of trust until they give me a reason not to. Recently I happened to walk in on her taking photos in suggestive positions. I asked her what she was up to and she said she was just taking photos for Instagram. My curiosity was peaked and I asked her to let me see her Instagram.

It was full of suggestive photos. My girlfriend in suggestive poses like bending over for the camera, photos where her cleavage is clearly the focus, photos in very little clothing, photos with heavy sexual undertones, and so much more. I was like, what is this? And its not like its just old photos, she's been posting provocative photos consistently since we met, hell photos that I thought was just for me was included on her Instagram. I didn't like this.

I told her I wasn't comfortable with her posting these types of photos and I asked her if she could stop. She got mad at me and said it wasn't a big deal and she was just sharing photos with her friends and to feel good about herself. That might be true to some extent but there's a fair bit of men gawking at her and posting comments about her.

We had a small argument over it. Finally, I just told her that clearly we're not compatible with each other if she's that adamant about it and she doesn't care that I'm uncomfortable with it. So I said I thought we should break up. he didn't want to break up though and I was being unfair and trying to manipulate her. I'm not trying to manipulate her but I feel like I should be able to walk away if she doesn't care how I feel. I told her she's free to do whatever she wants, but it won't be with me. She gave in and said she would stop but she clearly wasn't happy about it.

Am I being unfair?

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No, you're not. You're not comfortable with it and are trying to leave. Just cut ties and be done with it, she clearly cares more about getting attention than she does for you.

Nah. No man with any backbone would be okay with this. Dump that slut and find a better girl.

What you feel isn't wrong. I wouldn't like it either. You did manipulate her. Don't do that. She will bail on you if you keep that shit up.

No, you‘ve done the right thing. You‘re right, she‘s free to do whatever she wants and set her own priorities and values, but that freedom comes with the price of having to respect the consequences of her choices.

No you’re not being unfair, just pack your shit and leave. It’s obviously bothering you and she’s putting her wants above yours. Just leave

The fact that some women think this is okay blows my mind.

Where's the manipulation? Everyone has to draw a line somewhere, as far as what they will and won't tolerate in a relationship. It's always gonna be an awkward conversation, but I think OP handled it pretty well. He didn't judge her or berate her, he didn't throw a tantrum, he just said "you can keep doing this if you want to, but not as my girlfriend."

legitimately asking, what's a better way to handle this conversation?

WHOA no you are not being unfair!

if she really wanted to feel good about herself amongst like....her girlfriends she could just TEXT THEM the suggestive pics. That's what I do, not post them PUBLICLY. And if she cared about how you felt at all to begin with she would have asked how you felt about this.

I used to post some somewhat provocative pics online and use that excuse, finally matured and came to the realisation that if my partner was posting sexy pictures of themselves and having their inbox flooded I wouldn't be cool with it at all. Nuh-uh, you weren't in the wrong.

He should have just broken up with her. Sometimes saying things like that force people into a corner. The disregard for his feelings on the matter is worth breaking up over, but I highly doubt the OP did that. Instead, he started a toxic cycle with his communication by saying that and not following through. Anyone with half a brain would feel railroaded into doing what that person was asking. This is how resentment builds up in the long term.

If I was OP, I would ask her like he did, when she said its not a big deal, I would try to get to the bottom of why my feelings don't matter to her. I would then end the conversation and think about things. The next day I would call her and tell her that we're on different paths in life and wish her the best.