Today I’ve been told by her mom, for what seems like the 5th time now, that my girlfriend complained to her that I don’t buy her flowers. I don’t call her pretty, I don’t get her nice things. And that I need to “make more of an effort”
Yet literally, we had a fight while driving home. Because I wanted her to call the number that the host was saying to call on the radio, for free tickets. The man was LITERALLY SAYING THE NUMBER. And instead she googles the fucking number, like a genius. “Because I just wanted to make sure it was the right number” my fucking God...
Honestly, I’m not in to that whole bullshit. Buying flowers every week. Complimenting her for the 100th time, for an outfit I’ve seen her wear for the 50th time. Are women really so fucking fickle? You don’t see me complaining about not being complimented - I don’t give a shit.
“But noo, she’ll fall out of love with you”. Are you fucking serious
Girls require attention. I don't suggest the whole "buy her stuff" but complimenting is ok.
Ryder Thomas
>You don’t want to repeat things every single day >this makes you two not compatible
It’s like people at work having a hissy fit because I didn’t say “Good morning”. I’ve been working in the fucking office for 5 months now. I SEE YOU EVERYDAY. Is it fucking necessary to repeat the same phrase EVERY MORNING??
Charles Jackson
So I think it's bizarre that mom gets involved (what is she, 12?) but mom is actually right. Men and women are different and women need to feel valued. That doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of money or anything but I promise you that a girl can't hear you say she's pretty too many times. They need it. I'm sure you can find something nice to say just to let her know you think she's hot/special/important to you. Trust me. The greatest gift you can give her is your attention. Every player knows that and uses it.
Zachary Baker
I’m not a player, though.
This is the first relationship I’ve ever been in. And she KNOWS this.
Forgive me, for never having had a girlfriend for 22 years. And suddenly now that I have one I’m supposed to magically change my habits?
I fucking hate petty nonsense like the flowers and constant compliments. I make sure to give credit where credit is due, but I’m not going to push empty words your way. I’d rather stay shut
Alexander Lopez
My husband always compliments me. What does he get in return? Anything he wants.
So you're young and learning? That's okay. You don't have to be a player to treat your girlfriend the way women need to be treated. And really, does it take that much effort to tell her she's pretty? You don't have to get her flowers all the time. Just look her in the eyes and say something nice. Try it. It works like magic.
Samuel Peterson
You obviously don't like her that much and aren't willing to change. Where's the dilemma? Dump her and try to find someone more like yourself.
Austin Torres
You and your gf honestly sound too immature for any relationship. You shouldn't have to necessarily change yourself, but relationships are all about give and take, compromise, and open communication, things that neither of you have exhibited based on your posts. You sound like you want your girlfriend to be a pet that you can play with when you want and then ignore.
Ian Hall
The thing about me is, I hate to bring up a meme. But you see those stereotypes about autistics taking everything seriously and not understanding social cues?
I’m 100% like that. I’ve tried complimenting her (even though inside I didn’t mean it) and she would catch me and say something about it. So I stopped doing that all together.
To the other Anons saying to leave her/dump her/blah blah. I adore her. She really is the most beautiful woman in my life. I just don’t understand why women NEED this kind of attention
Lincoln Davis
>I adore her. She really is the most beautiful woman in my life.
>I’ve tried complimenting her (even though inside I didn’t mean it)
Women grow up being told that all men ever are struggling not to cheat every single day, so you better buy a bunch of bullshit products to "fix" your body and prevent it. Ads and media designed to induce body and relationship anxiety are literally everywhere, and if a woman dares to beat that stuff and feel good about herself, she just gets called a stuck-up bitch instead. Being complimented by your significant other is one little laser light of positivity in a world where people make millions of dollars by making sure that you feel like shit. Just trying to make it make sense for you.
Brayden Flores
Ever have a job in retail?
You’re telling me saying “Hi! Welcome to X” never gets mundane? The first few weeks you put your heart into it - because you really feel like you’re making a difference. But after months into it, it becomes a script you say because you know it’s required of you.
I feel the same way. When I REALLY feel it (like last night, we were laying in bed. and her little got caught my attention and it made me realize every aspect of her, down to the beauty mark on her cheek is mine to adore - I said to her “I love you so much”)
but having to say “you look so amazing” because she decided to wear the blue shirt instead of the red one? Come fucking on now.
Christopher Johnson
>You’re telling me saying “Hi! Welcome to X” never gets mundane? Don't fake it, then. Speak from the heart and speak well. It's so much easier to compliment people properly when you're telling the truth
Grayson Collins
Right, if complimenting her is such a chore, maybe you don't appreciate her as much as you think you do. Sounds like you both have issues and this won't work out honestly.
Hunter Carter
Dude my gf and I are broken up right now and we still tell each other "I love you". when we were together it was the same shit. We had relationship-ending problems but we still said "I love you" and meant it nearly every five or ten minutes, right down to when it was over.
Evan Wood
Dump her and date someone who isn't an Anglo
Ayden Taylor
Thank you for sharing that because now I understand why you can't do it and so should she. She knew who you were going into this relationship. So I would tell her what you're saying here to us. All you can do is communicate with her.
Dominic Taylor
she isnt for you user. She is extremely needy if you are doing stuff like this already. However if you barley do this then you shouldnt be with her anymore because you dont want to put in the effort anymore because of all the complaining. Seems like things arent working out. Move on.
Isaac Wilson
time to break up
Ryder Ortiz
>I’ve tried complimenting her (even though inside I didn’t mean it) That's called lying.
The trust, which is most essential and fundamental to your relationship, is not there.
If you can't be honest about the small, easy stuff; then how can you ever be honest when it comes to the big things?
Deep down she knows this and has reached out to her mother as a least-ditch effort to save whatever you guys have left.
Make what you want of this information. But just like I said before, if you desire to save your relationship, you have to be 100% honest at all times no exceptions, ever, no matter how hard it feels for you. Just part of being an adult.
Asher Sanchez
I’ve decided to make reservation for a restraunt I’ve wanted to go to, on Friday. I’ll buy small flowers then
It’s not that I don’t want to compliment her and makevher feel nice, Anons. I suppose it’s that I’m not used to having someone in my life who is sensitive and needs that kind of attention.
I’m so used to feeling nothing inside, I must learn that not everybody is like that - especially not her.
But I’ll be honest, everyone. A year from now I will forget all over again.
Kayden James
Wow, you are great husband material. Never change.
Christopher Mitchell
This is why you never had a girlfriend before and why you will struggle to find one after this girl leaves. She could do better because you offer very little.If you hate the effort get a doll.
Christopher Bell
Please don't pay attention to the cruel remarks. I see you're really making an effort. You're a good guy and she's lucky to have someone who's willing to work so hard to make her happy. They don't get it.
Joshua Rivera
Sounds like you two are at the end of your relationship. You've grown into two different people and you've both got different wants and needs and perspectives on what a good relationship is.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and for her is to be like Elsa and "let it go". Move on. Find someone who is more compatible with your needs and personality and ideas of what a good healthy relationship is.
I clung onto a marriage far longer than I should have before I learned this lesson and the part I regret the most isn't losing her, but not respecting her and myself enough to be realistic and honest with this very hard part of life.
Relationship end. It's just something that can and will happen to all of us.
No, Anonymous, your values and hers are completely mismatched which makes you incompatible. Even here you're denying that she's not a great match for you which suggests to me that you're kind of needy for a girlfriend yet you aren't really providing what neediness gives, IE that constant attention.
If you two aren't compatible, you aren't. Oh well, right? Life moves on.
William Peterson
Fuck I disagree with you (implying you're OP) on the first part,but THIS Omfg all of these cunts need to get their heads out of their asses
Matthew Thompson
You should break up. Let her be with someone who's going to be more affectionate and understanding.
Charles Scott
It's not that you didn't say good morning, its that you didn't feel the need to say it.
They wished you liked them enough to WANT to say it. Nobody cares about the words, they care about what the words mean.
Just had to clarify this for you guys. It's easy, as men, to take a mechanical approach and miss the big picture
Carter Collins
Are relationships really like this? I've never felt a strong emotional connection to anyone, not even my immediate family. I stopped telling my mom I loved her when I said it at sixteen and she called me out on not really meaning it. I really sympathize with OP in this scenario because his gf seems very demanding and from my perspective, it looks like the whole 'emotional labour' meme is women projecting their neediness on to men and then being frustrated when they don't get rewarded for serving a need that never existed. My life is just very low energy and I don't care about anything very much.
Brayden Gomez
Lose her OP. She's emotionally under developed and not relationship worthy. There's plenty of real women out there for you, ones who aren't attention whoring child minds.
Chase Hernandez
Women want affection. When my gf and I got together she would be sappy, try to tell me how wonderful I am the whole shabang. I'm not in to it. I'm not in to petnames, but she likes it so I call her gay shit like cutie pie or sweetie pie. Every time I see her I'll call her pretty just because she still blushes and smiles even after all these years. If I don't pay much attention or say something to her she'll act a little off but the moment I say something gay she'll be happy again. It's like a cycle. Women love affection. You don't have to buy her flowers, but pay her some compliments. You think she's beautiful? Say it. She's sweet? Tell her she is.
Julian Ward
Depends. My partner and I say we love each other every morning, night and if one of us leaves. My previous partner and I only said it when we went to bed.
Adam Morales
>They wished you liked them enough to WANT to say it. Nobody cares about the words, they care about what the words mean. /thread
