How can you tell the difference between dating casually and a friends with benefits arrangement?

what about if we go to dinner together?

i do remember when we were at a bar he put his hand around my waist to help me get around people

bump again

Doesn't count. The label here is clearly fwb from what you're describing

Why do you say clearly? We havent established any kind of terms.

I also know hes mentioned that hes not seeing anyone else.

Not that guy but I think it's something you should discuss with him instead of going back and forth with yourself listening to us.
The way you're wording it sounds like fwb, or casual dating despite you being together so long

My point is I think theres a distinction between casual dating and fwb, and Im trying to figure out which one Im at

He wont hold your hands in public because you're a fatty.

>generally aloof kinda guy
Gotta be careful with that type. I've known multiple such dudes and they've all got at least one story of not understanding why someone thought they were dating. If you're not straight with him and he never gets the inclination to initiate any change, you run the risk of complete miscommunication and him thinking you're no more connected than the first fling you had.

Hmmm, youre saying he might assume Im aloof like him and were “on the same page”

Bump

sounds like you are Bf and GF.

he doesn't consider you anything more than steady pussy. Going to dinner means nothing more than having a dinner partner. Usually I have three girl at a time and bounce between them. Nothing is serious and it helps if its pleasant to be around them. If being neutral makes you wonder and keeps you coming back then what he's doing works.

See why Im confused. Getting such different opinions

I think that's a decent way of understanding it, yeah. At least with the guys I've known. People see out of their own head.

You might want to just talk to him about it. If he is a dick and it's just sex, he might say that he likes you to continue the arrangement, so be aware of that.

To me, it sounds like you two have a decent thing going. Unless he has the same thing going with 3 other girls, desu.

One is a codependent emotional pit where the only purpose of the sex is to either "have fun" or "get rid of stress" that leads to a lack of intimacy because your relationship can't progress past base urges.

The other is an actual human engagement that doesn't revolve around sex and requires both parties to independently want what is best for the other person on multiple levels of life satisfaction.

Idk OP, figure it out. It's obvious that he's using you and you have different levels of emotional maturity. If you don't want it to end, you probably are getting some codependent benefit from the sex and he's playing into that because it's really easy to do. You need to force the question and stop giving in to your instinct to rut so you can make it clear to this dude that you want more than sex. Don't be afraid to walk away, or else you'll look like the weak one and he'll just keep taking advantage of your vulnerability.

>dk OP, figure it out. It's obvious that he's using you and you have different levels of emotional maturity.

Deciding to "be serious" takes time. Sometimes it's good to see if you enjoy each other's company without any commitment.

Though you brought up a good point in the sense that it would help to figure out if he actually cares about OP even when it inconveniences him even a little bit.

I know he doesnt have the same thing going on with other girls for sure.

He seems like he does care and is genuinely concerned about my wellbeing/life.

But that could be just from a “friend” angle you know?

JUST FUCKING ASK HIM

that shouldve been the first reply

My question wasnt about me- it was just a more what are the signs/how can someone tell what theyre in