Need relationship advice

Well fuck me then, if she wants to do that shit then how can I stop that?

What you said about it being partially my fault might have validity. At the start we didn’t really go on a lot of dates because we saw each other almost every day so we’d end up making out in my car or something after work. That probably set up a bad habit of not doing very many dates

Fair point. I just love her so much I don’t want to see her leave. Also I have put in lots of effort especially when she was going through difficult times it’s just that doesn’t always lead to increased passion

However I do need to ramp things up I’m realizing

This is really insightful though, thank you

Go on vacation with each other, or move in together, getting married is the last thing. See how happy she is and see if that makes you happy by simple instinct alone. Then see if that instinct stays with you.

>if she wants to do that shit then how can I stop that?
You can't. The only thing you can do is find out whether it's the number 1 or number 2 i mentioned in Again. Try to re-ignite that spark you guys once had. Take her on a fun date, go on a road-trip, go to some place fun and exciting. Also, switch up the sex. Sex should never feel like a routine. Stretch out foreplay and change up sex positions etc.

If all of this seems to make her happy again, then you know you just need to keep things fresh from time to time and you'll be fine. Just remember to continue changing shit up every once in a while to avoid falling into boring routines again. If after a few weeks/months she's still unsatisfied, you know she just wants to be single and doesn't want to be ''locked down'' in a committed relationship anymore.

Well, keep in mind that she's telling you all this because she feels the same about you.

The tl;tr version of her text is: Let's make our relationshit more fun.

She wants you to do some shit she can humble brag about to her girlpals. Are you fucking dense OP? "Oh hey Anonette, what up with you and user?" The answer better not be "nothing" but probably has been for a while.

I haven't really read through the thread yet so I apologize if my advice is redundant. It sounds like she's already got a foot out the door; girls often start this kind of conversation because they're gazing wistfully out the window at greener pastures, but haven't quite worked up the courage to leave the house to explore and are looking for a reason to stay where she knows it is safe and warm. If that metaphor makes sense to you.

She sounds very young--just based off what she thinks love is, I wouldn't put her much older than 19--and like she's bought into the whole "love is a constant glittering joy and if it doesn't feel like that all the time I'm missing out" nonsense; because she views love--when the described feeling is closer to infatuation--as an experience she is a constant risk for straying. If you want to keep her, be wary.

Now, mature relationships require work. You need to invest time in each other and in your partnership; decide what your long term goals are and whether or not they're compatible; discuss controversial subjects--money, religion, politics, child-rearing-- and how you plan to compromise on them; so on and so forth. If you're spending all of your time together drinking and fucking you are not in a functional, healthy relationship. You need to make time for each other and spend it as partners and companions--it doesn't have to be fancy, curl up on the couch and binge watch something; put together some IKEA furniture and see if you still love each other at the end of it--and you need to talk about things that matter.

And a word of advice, my young friend: never take your woman at face value. She may tell you what she thinks she wants, but it's very rarely what she actually wants. It's your job as her partner to look underneath what she's saying for the emotions she's expressing and then deal with THOSE. In this case I'd say your girl wants to spend more quality time with you.

Additional spontaneity won't hurt things, but what she really wants here, is more touchy-feely talking time (and to feel like you're listening to her). I'd suggest that you set aside a couple hours in the very near future for you two to hang out and encourage her to talk your ear off. Retain the information, make insights--avoid troubleshooting, you can ask if that's what she wants, but most of the time a woman just wants to gripe about her problems without investing more emotional energy into them--and share some of your own. I'd even suggest talking about how difficult setting aside time for her was--not in a way that suggests you resent her; aim or something more along the lines of "you're so important to me it doesn't matter how much shit I'll get for xyz"--and that it's worth it.

If you're the kind of couple that can't see each other often, set aside at least 15 minutes of phone-time every day; and an hour--aim for more--every week. In the meantime, I'd suggest texting her cute little observations about her--to show you've been paying attention--and the things you love about her. How she takes her tea/coffee. How you like the way she snorts when she laughs. How you felt the first time you saw her. What your favorite shirt/outfit on her is. About the way she looks when the sun shines in her hair.

Step back on the sex, a bit, and focus more on your relationship. If she tries to climb you like a tree give her a good sexy time. If she wants more spice in the bedroom then explore that--safe, sane and consensual!--but it really just sounds like she wants more quality time and to feel like you're putting her first and that you care about and listen to her. You gotta show a girl these things, saying it, while nice, isn't enough.

As others are saying yes hormonal hot, romantic, exciting honeymoon phase ends at 6-9 months.

It sounds like she's asking you to fuck her rite. Only quickies, you don't do the same things you used to, things are routine?

You need to find a way to appreciate her body. Sexually girls want to be wanted and have attentive, passionate sex where they're needed. If you can't pull this off with her that is completely fine, you are just gonna have to end things and each find someone you are more sexually compatible with. Don't feel bad about that, that is the most normal thing after 9 months especially.

If you really wanna fix things, start touching her, press hard dick against her, put your hand in her hair, kiss her neck, tell her you want things to work, kiss her mouth, then fuck her like you fucking mean it. This is something that you need to be doing at least occasionally to keep this relationship going.

Read Sex and Character by Otto Weininger

If she wanted to save it she would have told you these things in person. By text its a long drawn out preamble to a break up. Her decision has been made already and anything you do from this point in her eyes will just seem pathetic.

Do something crazy next time you have sex but don't make it too obvious that you are doing this because of the texts. Maybe instead of undressing her rip her clothes off, dominate her, do something new that you haven't done.
About dating simply set up a date 3-4 days in advance but don't tell her the place that you are going to go. If i can add you somewhere else than Jow Forums we could talk about it much more. Good luck OP.

All her walls of text can be summed up as:

Do something new
Change your attitude a bit while you're doing new shit and keep her guessing. Just get wild in a way that you know how

Now just plan a date and ask her out simple

This, change up your routine, not just around her,

You're both young so you can't force her to see things differently, everyone dreams of the perfect relationship and think that it's all about that bliss of being with someone, but that's just not how it works and there's nothing you or her can do about it