This is kinda lengthy but please bear with me.. So ive been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now and I did something beyond horrible recently. I sent nude pictures to a guy that bribed me. I really dont know why I did it because I dont even need the money I just wanted validation for some reason. I instantly regretted it and ever since it happened I have started feeling empathy (in general) deeper than before. This is the second time this has happened and deep down I cant see myself ever doing it again but that doesnt cut it. Not because I dont want to get caught(I would rather have him know), but because I cant see myself betraying him again. If I could delete my whole identity to everyone but him forever I would. But I feel like its too late. Im too weak to break up him and too weak to live with knowing he will love someone else if I leave him. Im so selfish :( I would never want anyone else :( I never have and could never touch another guy ever. He's perfect. I waited 2 years to give him my virginity and would do anything for him. He loves me and ive hurt him so badly :,( Ive had a tied noose in my closet for over a year. I really fucked it up because I want a future with him :( only him :( and i dont want to have kids with anyone but him, but ill never be the wife he deserves because of what I did :,( Having kids is a big part of life.. Is this a good enough reason to kill myself?
I cant stop crying and I just cant live with myself anymore i cant take it :( i cant stop imagining how hes feeling right now and it kills me so much :( help me
>I sent nude pictures to a guy that bribed me. Sounds stupid and risky unless you don't mind him sharing it.
>I cant see myself betraying him again. Why not? You was fine doing it twice.
>Im too weak to break up him and too weak to live with knowing he will love someone else if I leave him. And the best way to get stronger is to overcome your weaknesses. In the long run you'll be fine without him. Stop pretending otherwise.
>I would never want anyone else Are you 12?
>Is this a good enough reason to kill myself? It's a good reason to do more self-reflecting and maybe even therapy. Your only excuse for this dumb shit is being totally underage.
Hunter Brooks
Dumb bitch, don't do it again and you'll be fine
Anthony Peterson
Yes you should :)
Jackson Hernandez
>I just wanted validation for some reason. i dont buy that deep down you just want to be a slut, right?
Noah Williams
Jump from a bridge, and do a flip for extra points
Jeremiah Taylor
>Sounds stupid and risky unless you don't mind him sharing it. I was going to tell him but he found out before I got the courage. I hate hiding things from him hes my world. >Why not? You was fine doing it twice. The first time it was more in the beginning when I didnt fully trust him, before I even met him irl. I dont think i realized in the moment of sending how much it would hurt me and him after being in the flesh. I am the type to push myself to be better after enough mistakes, even if its slowly but surely. I cant think of anything in my life where I have consistently made the same mistakes and just not learning from it. And im just saying that out of perspective. It doesnt at all justify what I did either time. Nothing does. >And the best way to get stronger is to overcome your weaknesses. In the long run you'll be fine without him. Stop pretending otherwise. Thats true. But I feel like I would be just surviving. My quality of life would be lower. Hes truly special. >Are you 12? No im that much in love with him. Ive only had eyes for him since the day we met. With that much of an impact on me for so long it would be so devastating to not have him. If he wasnt the one, I would move on easily. >It's a good reason to do more self-reflecting and maybe even therapy. Your only excuse for this dumb shit is being totally underage. Im 21. I feel like my ability to self reflect has improved so thats good. But i still have a lot to learn. Im indifferant on therapy. Therapists are only human. They can only say so much. Nonetheless, you have some good points. I try to grow but I guess this all happened because i am really dumb. And since I am that dumb im not sure if its worth it to live. Im trying to debate if it will really be worth it to live without him, just a bland and lonely life, having those regrets.
Angel Morgan
no
Michael Bailey
Post noods ITT. >had a noose in your closet for a year Hasn't this raised some suspicion? I think you know your not going to do it so get over yourself. How many nudes do you think are on the internet? Try and smile a little and maybe get into BDSM if you like ropes so much.
David Watson
This haha we all fuck up op. you sound kinda young, so you should know you will fuck up sometimes. Not worth harming yourself. I would try to move on and if you do feel the need to be with other guys it’s better to break up with him then sleep with someone behind his back. You sound like a decent person op don’t worry too much
Isaac Ross
Tell the truth user. Telling the truth is ALWAYS the right answer.
Owen Cooper
Self pity on another level. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and admit to what you did. If he leaves you, he leaves you. If he stays, he stays. You are in no position to act like a victim and try to get sympathy
Josiah Gray
So I should tell the police about the Nigerian child sex slaves in my basement?
Eli Roberts
I have the noose in my closet in a messenger bag lol its not just ready hanging for me. A few of my nudes are on the internet because at one point we were posting mine for fun for a thrill. That was maybe a year ago. It was a good period in our relationship because we would joke around a lot. But now I wish no one ever saw them except him. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind thats what I associated it with but whatever possessed me to do it ive woken up now. he confessed he didnt want that and I understand why he wouldnt. I dont want him to want that. Im trying to smile. I get happy thinking about him then cry again. Motivating thanks Hehe Thanks for the kind words user. I guess everyone makes mistakes. No I literally dont want to sleep with anyone else. Im not like that thats not why I sent it. He found out tthe truth before I had the chance to tell him. I waited and I hate myself for waiting. I had a brief relationship before him with someone who was just a player and would lie to me every day. When I found out he showed no real emotions or remorse. really do have remorse and when I tried expressing myself to him I guess it came off as self pitying, which is understandable. Hes upset and im desperate for him to forgive me, but im just trying to express the remorse im feeling and make things right, make him not feel like I dont care. How is it self pitying exactly? Not asking in spite. I want him to feel better. And for me it feels comforting to have responses on here to read so I can have other peoples opinion and distract myself.
Josiah Sanchez
> >im just trying to express the remorse im feeling The only reason you're feeling remorseful is because you got caught. And you're feeling remorse for yourself, not him. Actually I dont even believe it's remorse, I think you're just feeling sorry for yourself. >and make things right, make him not feel like I dont care. Because you actually don't care? People who respect eachother and their feelings dont do these things.
You're just trying to save your own sorry ass, and honestly I'm counting on that to fail because reality will just catch up with you. While I don't condone suicide, I'm glad you're feeling suicidal and hope you never forget why you're feeling this way. God is just, my friends, so rejoice.
Austin Nguyen
>Hes truly special. Everyone kinda is. Obviously finding someone who meches with you as well as he does won't be that easy, and obviously the first big love is extra hard to get out of your head, and obviously the first days/months/maybe years might suck but let's be realistic here. >I feel like my ability to self reflect has improved so thats good. It does sound mostly fine and obviously is bound to get better with time if you keep doing it and try to learn. Though the blindspot regarding the guy and the magnitude of him being in your life is quite extreme. Although pretty understandable too. >Therapists are only human. They can only say so much. Yeah definitely, it's not some magic solution by any means. And hell, at lot of what you'd learn from therapy can be just learned by living. >And since I am that dumb im not sure if its worth it to live. You're clearly not dumb. More on the ignorant side, and parts of it are fine given your age too. Still a lot to experience and a lot to learn. You'll be fine in the long run, sis. Just stay away from the noose. >Im trying to debate if it will really be worth it to live without him, just a bland and lonely life, having those regrets. It's unlikely you could picture a realistic somewhat objective outlook at this point. Our brains just don't work like that. Your best call is probably reading stories about or talking to people who felt similarly to you now and block out the "but my situation and this guy are totally unique" voices.
Luis Martin
Tell us, when you masturbate, you think about cheating your boyfriend to cum instantly? If so, you will need him AND cheat him to reach satisfatory orgasms. Nothing to be ashamed about.
Grayson Cox
I really was going to tell him. I felt remorse and suicidal the seconds it happened. Im not a sociopath. But I didnt feel like this the first time it happened. I did feel sorry for myself because I didnt really understand what about it was wrong. I understood it was wrong, but I only freaked out back then when I was 18 because I didnt want to lose him. I was very inexperienced. I dont actually feel any remorse for myself now and if im being honest its a new feeling for me. It feels really cold and feels like a lot of responsibility, instead of just feeling victimized and wanting someone to prove hes the one thats wrong. Its obviously uncmofortable, so could be why im feeling really suicidal. But could actually be a good choice. Ive told him before it just wasnt right away, which it should have been. I would rather him experience me telling him instead of finding it. I wouldnt be able to hide it from him. I actually do care or else I wouldnt be in this mess. Im not trying to save my ass. this is an anonymous website. Thus im spouting my thoughts. I literally need a place to put what i am really thinking. Its a thread about my suicide so of course its about me. Im considering suicide because im thinking way ahead and weighing the options. No I dont. Though im not perfect, im exteemely monogamous about things I like.
Charles Hill
>I was going to tell him but he found out before I got the courage. I hate hiding things from him hes my world. Translates to "He found out before I told him, so I didn't tell him at all and he found out I cheated behind his back, but I feel really bad about it cause I luv him so so much uwu"
>The first time it was more in the beginning when I didnt fully trust him What a pathetic excuse. "I didn't know him well yet, so it was okay to cheat on him at this point"
>I cant think of anything in my life where I have consistently made the same mistakes and just not learning from it. What about the part where you cheated on the same boyfriend twice? That sounds like making the same mistake over again. Wow I don't even know you and I know you're spouting bullshit.
>im that much in love with him. Ive only had eyes for him since the day we met. That's why I keep sharing my nudes with other men and cheating on him!
>With that much of an impact on me for so long it would be so devastating to not have him. You're the whore sending out nudes to other men. As if you deserve to keep this guy. Would losing him be as devastating as not being able to send out all these nudes to random men?
>If he wasnt the one, I would move on easily. If he wasn't the one, I wouldn't keep cheating on him
>And since I am that dumb im not sure if its worth it to live. This could be the dumbest thing in your entire fucking post. You might be a stupid immature slut, but you deserve to live. Don't take the easy, pathetic way out. Learn from your mistakes and try again. Tell your boyfriend you've been a whore again. Apparently he forgave you the first time, maybe he will again. If he doesn't, you got what you deserved. You'll be "devastated" but then within a month or two you'll find a new boy that you become this much in love with again. You'll tell Jow Forums that you only have eyes for him while you ask for advice on what to do since he cause you sending nudes to other men for validation
Don't kill yourself it's a dumb idea. You are still young we all mess up. Tell him you are sorry and leave the decision up to him. Whatever he decides respect it and live on.
Jackson Mitchell
This is reasonable and makes me feel a little better. I guess I cant really see anything positive coming of this right now, but I shouldnt take the easy way out. I guess humans are made to reproduce and stuff but it doesnt mean that I have to have a bf. Theres more important things afterall. Just hard to get out of that thought process of putting him on a pedestal. He doesnt want me to breakup with him and thats making it harder. Something ive never experienced before is letting someone go because Ive done them wrong. It would suck to do that because in a way it would feel like a loss. I want things to be right for us but idk if its right for us to stay together. See, this is a good example of something you experience that a therapist might not be able to get through to some people. Its interesting. Idk starting to doubt myself after reading this. I did speak with a lot of bias. Maybe your right.
Charles Thomas
Can you stop assuming things? I wasnt going to hide it forever. And for the record none of those times i wanted another guy to see me nude. They convinced me with money. It doesnt make it any better but it makes me feel better to clarify that. It literally wouldnt have happened if I wasnt so insecure. >spouting bullshit I didnt say twice retard I said consitently. Like at my jobs it took a couple tries but once I got the hang of it I did it with my mistakes. Not a perfect example I know. I may have been doing bad things to him, but never because I knew or wanted or got arousal from the other person. I know that doesnt make me better but idk if it makes it better for staying with him. He told me not to leave and he needs time to think. But idk. I truly want it to be fair for him. Ive offered to do anything he wants, to let him get back at me and he doesnt want to. its just so hard to let him go.
Alexander Howard
Idk guys, i dont think ill ever stop being insecure, especially after we breakup. That will only cause more problems. Ive had a good time with him. The memories of us make my life feel complete.
Carter Rodriguez
>How is it self pitying exactly? Not asking in spite. I want him to feel better. And for me it feels comforting to have responses on here to read so I can have other peoples opinion and distract myself. >I cant stop crying and i just cant live with myself anymore i cant take it:( Seriously? I doubt you actually feel suicidal, but I hope you do. You deserve to. If you actually loved this person you wouldn't have betrayed him, twice. Quit feeling sorry for yourself, you are not the victim here. Tell him now and accept whatever he decides to do, even though he should definitely leave you. I pray I'm never unfortunate enough to date an immature selfish slut like yourself
Owen Butler
You should tell truth or just kill yourself. He deserves someone better and more faithful. You're obviously too much if an insecure pussy to become a better person.
Logan Carter
Let's flip the roles around and look at it from another perspective. Let's pretend your boyfriend is being the skank in the relationship and sending nudes to internet-randos. Let's say he's going through the very same thought process as you and genuinely means it. Now let's pretend you find out one day during work he's killed himself out of guilt for the reasons you've listed.
He killed himself because of you and you have no idea why. How do you feel? Are you confused? Are you angry or sad? I would be.
Don't kill yourself. Tell your boyfriend exactly what you just told us and talk to him. Work it out between you two. This is YOUR relationship and if you have any respect for your partner in this relationship you'll have the courage to be honest with him and yourself.
Landon Barnes
I guess im self pitying a little but isnt that normal? Self pitying as in just going somewhere for comfort. That doesnt mean im making it all about me. Im working with what I have. Im trying to see whats right for him. I do feel suicidal. I have been considering assisted suicide because of how insecure i am. I beleive in the right to die. But at this point I just want a quick death. I feel suicidal for the fact that ive hurt him and cant deal with it and the fact that for so long I wanted everything to be perfect and considered him a big part of the rest of my life. He can go back to being loving to me like normal and i would just feel guilt. Im a shitty person. Just because someone is suicidal doesnt mean they feel like a victim. I feel apathetic about suicide. Its a common thing. Everyone dies. It isnt really an easy way out because if you think about it another 50 years is nothing compared to millions of years. And I will keep defending my intentions. I mean what I say. Ive dealt with people who use suicide or depression as a way for sympathy and attention. I know how annoying that shit is. Thats why I think therapy and most "mental disorders" are a meme.
Wyatt Wright
Thanks for the scenerio its making me think. I would be confused and upset. I think I would forgive him if he ever did that. I would talk it out with him and find out why he did. I have given up a lot for him and he has for me. And yes I did tell him the truth and have been trying to work it out. He said a day ago he needs a coupke days to think and to just leave him alone for a couple days so he doesnt act like a dick. Im giving him his space right now. The only people I have to talk to about this is here. Trying to sort things out and mentally prepare myself. I dont think thats selfish of me to do. I do want to commit suicde but thats on the backburner. I guess at this moment i feel swayed not to because im curious of the outcome.
Benjamin Stewart
Then livestream you shooting yourself in the head
Christian Clark
That was brave of you. Good job. No matter what the outcome with him, at least you can say that you weren't a coward.
May I also remind you that there are many MANY different types of people in this world that you may meet one day? If shit falls through with your boyfriend, I can guarantee that you'll eventually find someone else in the future when you're ready. In fact, that person may be waiting for you already. You won't find out if you kill yourself.
It's kinda sad to think about that person waiting all this time and then missing out on you because you couldn't see beyond the current situation and feels and /wrists.
Don't kill yourself. It's stupid to kill yourself over boys. Your mother and father have worked this hard to get you to where you're at now and to hear that your precious baby girl killed herself over a stupid boy is a nightmare come true. Don't kill yourself over boys. Period.
AND STOP BEING A SKANK. Your need for validation from others is ruining shit and you're doing it to yourself. Stop it!
Nathan Ward
>Can you stop assuming things? I wasnt going to hide it forever. Certainly isn't how it looks, since you got caught cause he found out before you told him. >oh but I was going to tell him he just found out so quickly Oh fuck off. You chose not to tell him for an extended period of time and then he found out about your infidelity. Now you lie to yourself and others saying you wanted to tell him to make yourself feel better about your own mistakes. >And for the record none of those times i wanted another guy to see me nude. They convinced me with money. "I didn't want them to see me nude, but I sent them nude photos cause they flashed a couple dollars my way" Wow, that's really impressive. Gotta love a girlfriend who doesn't want to share inappropriate photos with others, but as soon as money is involved she changes her mind. You know that's literally the textbook definition of a whore right? >It literally wouldnt have happened if I wasnt so insecure. This is you trying to be honest with yourself. You didn't do it for the money, stop fucking lying.
>He told me not to leave and he needs time to think. But idk. Then you're lucky. Maybe it's time to learn your lesson and stop cheating on him.
Even more important, stop lying to yourself and others to try and make yourself feel better or garner more pity.
Sebastian Lopez
I do want to commit suicde but thats on the backburner Lmao fuck off
Kayden Nelson
Fuck this is facts
Ayden Hill
Considering it a little bit. But idk might end up living. Might not be worth it
Tyler Brooks
Do it pussy
Parker Thompson
>And for the record none of those times i wanted another guy to see me nude. They convinced me with money Oho! Superbly crafted bait OP. I didnt even realise it myself til now. 10/10
Ethan Gomez
Its not bait i promise. I originally wanted the money to fly to see him. But i now realize that doesnt make it okay. Maybe. If you really want me to livestrean it ill ma
So now my question ks what do I say to him when he talks to me again? How do I make it sound non self pitying? I want to listen to him and be civil about it but I dont want him to think I dont care about him anymore.
Grayson Thomas
Apologize for your actions. Lie to him telling him you won't do it again and move forward with your relationship or enjoy your new time single again.
Parker Gomez
>Its not bait i promise Okay, then post a timestamped pic to at least prove you're female. For added proof, screenshot the interaction between you and the person who paid for your nudes. Until then, it's bait.
Angel Collins
Just tell him straight up and apologize. Don't make excuses for yourself, and listen to and accept whatever he says
Fine with me. Id rather be a trap right now than a cheating gf. I deleted but interaction was screenshotted and posted.
Connor Anderson
>screenshotted and posted. post it here then
Lincoln Smith
Not funny but kinda funny how all these events trace back to here. I met my boyfriend on this site, got exposed on this site, now im asking for advice on this site.
John King
>Id rather be a trap right now than a cheating gf. The absolute gall of this whore. >if Jow Forums thinks I'm a trap, that will alleviate the guilt of being a cheating slut Holy fucking shit, wake up
Thomas Baker
I don't know how someone could be this stupid. My 14 year old brother would find this retarded
Owen Cooper
Im not the one that saw the screenshot my bf did and didnt show me. But the guys name on instagram is derek brighton. I hate people with homewrecking mentalities but I guess im not one to talk. And yes I was scammed both times.
Matthew Ward
But actions have consequences, you need to take responsibility.
Lucas James
I am taking responsibility.
Kayden Rivera
Kill yourself whore
Evan Thomas
>I am taking responsibility. >I was scammed both times. You are not taking responsibility, you are in denial. You are trying to alleviate your guilt. You are trying to pretend like someone tricked you into sending them nudes. BITCH. You CHOSE to send the nudes. You were paid for them, but that doesn't change anything. You could have said no. You said yourself earlier in this thread that you didn't need the money. This wasn't self-preservation, this was you wanting to cheat and cheating on your boyfriend.
Stop playing the denial game. Stop looking for pity. Stop pretending.
Apologize to your boyfriend. Listen to what he has to say. Accept his decision. Move forward with your life.
Jacob Williams
The way I got it, she's taking responsibility for her choices. It doesn't affect anything about the scamming. Why the fuck do ya negros have to be so binary about things.
Austin Kelly
She wasn't even scammed. She chose to send the dude her nudes for money. That's a fair transaction that she chose to take a part of. She claims to be taking responsibility and yet she's spouting excuses for why she cheated faster than a broken fire hydrant spouts water. It's not being binary, it's being honest. She's not being honest with herself and she wasn't honest with her boyfriend. He found out about her infidelity through Jow Forums. Feels bad to be that guy.
Levi Thomas
can you answer me my Question though it May seeme so, i didnt write this as a joke
Ryder Morris
>May seeme so Thoust worms come crawlething from the grounde...
Lucas Perez
But you're literally the only reason your home is wrecked.
You could have gone to any number of people for any number of reasons to get money and you chose to give nudes to a stranger, man.
Jace Hill
>excuses for why shes cheating Op here. I mean what do you expect? ITT im putting everything im.thinking so i can get more feedback as a result. Putting both the reasons why I did what I did and owning upto them. Like I didnt say anything I did was okay or justified. Im literally just putting down information. And the scammed thing and the trap thing wasnt relevant it was more of a shitpost for bumping the thread.
Christopher Edwards
>muh age >haha whatever I say is truth >are you le 12?? >muuuhh ageee >haha just have SEX and be alone! Take a load of this person
Bentley Harris
Seems like the age part triggered you the most. Why?
Ryder Peterson
tell your bf what happened, take responsibility
dont kill yourself though
Luke Torres
Own your behavior. Be accountable for your thoughts, even if you don't understand why you had them, or why you let them dominate your decision-making.
It's obvious that you are tempted by self-destructive impulses. Giving away pictures is a way of danger-whoring, especially now that you're swimming in guilt over it.
Own your thoughts. Tell your partner you did these things. Tell them you don't know why, and tell them how you feel about them.
Worst case, you get to be alone with your thoughts some more so you can repeat the same trap, or correct your thoughts to prevent it from ever happening again.
Also, get rid of the noose you fucking coward. Own your thoughts and your life.
Elijah Thomas
This is coming from a male. Maybe consider that you don't tell anyone what you did. You are anonymous here, among other stories similar to yours. I don't think you should tell anyone else. You are suicidal and pity yourself. I think you should talk to a psychologist you trust. you can still be a good person for your boyfriend. just not until you get rid of the noose.
Cameron Cook
>made him wait two years to have sex >sends a stranger nudes on a whim
I wouldnt hold a lie on him like that plus I already told him all the details I cant win! I didnt fucking make him wait. I offered several times for him to sleep with others if he needs to. I saved up over $1000 to take 2 planes to see hin for 2 days, in which he wasnt even there for one of the days. Ive priotioritized him so much and it wasnt fully reciprocated. He was even being a cuck at one point. It doesnt justify it but it makes me even more upset. I spent so much time and money on him. Idk maybe I should just leave. I dont even know what to think at this point but its been bothering me all day.
Cameron Rivera
Post your tits already
Mason James
I want my virginity back :( i am feeling sorry for myself right now because I regret having sex with him and regret flirting with him when we first met :( if he really liked me he would have aksed me out without me flirting with him :/ i hate myself i wish I never did anythig im having a mental breakdown I hate him :,( almost 4 years wasted
Ethan Bennett
I guess i feel sorry for both him and me even though I shouldnt :( im so stupid I wanted the person I had sex with to be the one I married :( now that will never happen help me :,(
Oliver Johnson
You shouldn't feel bad for following your animalistic impulses. Sure feel dirty, but just try to do better next time. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Caleb Moore
What are you looking for an excuse or something?
Not really no.
Jacob Moore
Yeah I am. I dont know what to do!
Landon Rivera
nope. not now not ever.
you need to be straight up with him and let the chips fall where they may. he may love you, he may leave you. but the guilt will eat you up untill you come clean.
Hudson Garcia
I will never understand this, why a woman will be with a guy and make him wait for sex, sometimes more than a year, but then cheat with some guy? was she just not attracted to him, or did she have some kind of obsession with just making HIM wait?
Brody Powell
Read the thread fucking retard
Jackson Garcia
No, it's a general statement
Jonathan Nelson
>cheats because I wanted validation >I want to be with him and only him fuckingpickone.jpg
I want to kill myself ive been putting my head in the rope a lot to see how it feels. Im trying to see how I could get a good drop but theres nowhere here thats high up enough to make sure my neck snaps. I deserve to take the risk since I hurt him but im still scared to do it. I want to just attach it to my closet and leave it like that so when im in the right moment and feel most motivated and hopeless I will just get it over with. I wouldnt want my mom to get suspicious.
Daniel Robinson
There were a lot of things that I wanted to do with him like bake brownies together go down a waterslide together, have snowball fight, kiss him outside during a sunset.. I miss him so much he makes me so happy :( i want to make him happy again and I want to be his girl forever :( i cant take it anymore i really cant
Brody Adams
I'll paypal you $100 to livestream it. Isn't that what you want? Not kidding, I'll transfer you money to kill yourself.
Adrian Hernandez
Yes, and when the kiddos ask where you're going, let them know you're going to see the police so that your slaves have a heads-up to the fact that they're about to get shot for being brown
John Thompson
Hey, cheating victim/cheater (in that order) here
Worrying about your bf "feeling better" while keeping him in your relationship is an oxymoron. The only real, effective, and permanent way to feel better after being cheated on is to develop a healthy resentment for your ex and have a few hookups/flings for a few years. Trying to recover from being cheated on while simultaneously staying friend with/dating the person who cheated is like taking your heart medication, but making sure to sprinkle it with a little bit of Oxyclean on every dose.
As for whether you should kill yourself, if you really felt like you should then you probably would have. The fact that you cheated is probably just a sign that you subconsciously know this "heez da wun!!1" shit is stupid as hell, especially because you're a young-ass 21 year old. Dump him, send nudes to randos, hop on the cock carousel for a while, and when you're ACTUALLY ready to find "da wun" you will.
Just make sure you don't backstab your next partner; once you get the urge, you know it's over. Remember how cheating made you feel this time, and dump them.
Is that really what its going to be like for him? Is that what im making him go through forever? :( I dont have the desire for casual sex I think its degenrate. I dont know how to get that desire and idk if theres something wrong with me for not wanting that. I dont see the point in giving someone sex who wouldnt chase me to be with them forever. Thats just a waste of my time and pussy. And I do think that makes me better than girls who do that. Every girl ive met that does that is always less desirable than me in every way. No wonder they have to resort to that lol. I dont want to wait until im a used up barely fertile roastie to settle down. Thats pathetic. I dont have the desire to send anyone nudes i just wanted a quick fix of money. Theres things that I really want like a new pc and my parents stopped giving me allowances a while ago. I just wanted extra cash so i would be okay but it doesnt matter anymore. It can be hard not to commit suicide especially for someone like me. I jsut find it hard to end things because of curiosity. But sometimes its just best to end things anyway.
I dont want it. I have about $7000 and im debating just giving it all up so I have more motivation to kill myself. I would give it all away just to go back and not do it and make him not be hurting.
>go through forever Not forever, no. The resentment will be lifelong, but it won't be a bitter, all-consuming hatred forever, if he even gets to that point
>I think casual sex is degenerate Nothing wrong with not wanting it if that's GENUINELY the case. But you sent nudies to a couple of random dudes """for money,""" so chances are you probably do wanna engage in some good old-fashioned sexual deviancy, you probably just have some gay hangups about muh sekshual pyooriddy
>that makes me better than girls who do that At least they're probably not cheating. Be humble
>just wanted a quick fix of money If that was true, you'd be on facebook ranting about some "SEX WORK IS REAL WORK! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SENDING NUDES FOR MONEY!" shit, and you definitely wouldn't be rambling on about how you cheated and want to become an hero over it on Jow Forums.
Angel Young
Thats not cheating fool. Just zip your mouth and grow up.
Henry Clark
Idk if you really want me to livestream it and if someone is really willing to help me through the steps so its tied right and placed right. I might consider making a thread/chatroom where I give away my whole bank balance so I go through with it. Ill even dox myself, anything to make it fullproof. Maybe having people there while im doing it would distract me and push me more. Definately considering it.
That truly is the case unironically. I dont know what its like to want that. Im a very emotional person. Im not a feminist but desu guys are so insufferable that thats the only way they will give money usually, even if they actually dont. I didnt actively seek them out. The guys messaged me begging and promising the money. Which I was entitled to it just seemed easy and deserved. But they didnt see me as worthy of it. And I want them dead. >at least theyre not cheating They have lost the ability to pairbond so they usually do cheat in real life when they get a bf. I want to get revenge on all these people.
You sound like my ex, and she was borderline and bipolar. I can only wish you the worst this world has to offer, and that you live a very long and horrible life.
Henry Scott
What chatroom woukd you reccomend to livestream this on
Owen Evans
Story?
Grayson Peterson
I cheat at monopoly all the time and I don't want to kill myself :^)
Tyler Martinez
Sorry that it sounds like her but I dont have any disorders like that. Im a functioning female with healthy natural desires. Ones that arent degenerate.
Jordan Adams
Im having the worst cramps right now oh dear
Ryan Jones
If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn't leave you over this. It was immoral, but sending pics for money and sending pics to a guy for free are two completely different things. If I were your boyfriend seeing this thread, seeing comments such as how you've waited 2 years to give me your virginity is more than enough evidence to convince me that you had no intention of getting with someone else.