>19F, probably bisexual but only been with one guy >been masturbating since I was a pre teen, mostly to solo women or gay men >thought I was having orgasms >realized some time ago it's not it (it's like a weak jolt and then I want to stop) >bought a vibrato and it just makes my clit pleasantly numb >had my first bf >was very excited in the beginning but no orgasms >oral feels like a wet tongue >actual intercourse is great when it's rough but I don't get off and he comes too quickly and going slow is boring to me >bf worries about me not getting off and he comes even more quickly >I worry about him being bored so I hate when things are focused on me, especially when he rubs me or eats me out because nothing feels particularly good or bad, it's just strange >we often try new stuff but nothing really works >I'm starting to feel really disconnected from sex, I still enjoy it but I get very little physical pleasure
I used to think I was really open minded and couldn't wait to finally have sex but now it just stresses me out. I don't know what to do.
>>actual intercourse is great when it's rough >I hate when things are focused on me, especially when he rubs me or eats me out because nothing feels particularly good or bad
Have you told him this?
Jacob Perry
Also I'm jealous because my close friends can all orgasm easily, at least when they are alone. I feel like a stupid idiot not being able to do that.
Jace Clark
Yeah, he doesn't know what to do either. He tries really hard, he also asks me what I want to try out (sex outside, stuff like that) and makes it happen.
Asher Gonzalez
Learn to masturbate. If you're into rough save up and get a fun factory stronic toy.
This isn't his fault or yours but you do need to know how you get off before you can expect someone else to.
Jonathan Martin
I know, if I know how to do it myself I could just tell him what I like. I don't blame him at all, but I know he's disappointed that I can't get off.
Why would that vibrator be better than the one I already have? What shoudk I look for in a vibrator
Grayson Garcia
It's not a vibrator it's kinda like a thrusting toy but it moves via a magnet that gets thrown around in the interior. I never had luck with vibrators but this one is good. Might be a bit steep in price if it doesn't work for you.
Also, maybe read stories on literotica if you don't already?
Evan Thomas
I'll consider it then. I only ever bought one sex toy and it was a completely random choice.
Well I used to watch porn/read erotica but it feels very pointless now. That's my biggest issue actually, I feel tired of trying. I barely feel aroused by anything right now.
Bentley Bailey
I mean you might eventually have to make peace with the fact that your body doesn't work that way. But you're young and probably with an inexperienced dude. It's worth pulling out all the stops. Try looking into gspot stuff together with your bf. Buy lube, try out different positions, make it fun and silly for you both. It sounds like the stress is killing it for you both.
Elijah Howard
>barely feel aroused by anything Im probably not the best person to base giving you advice then lol. This could be your baseline or caused by health or mental. Probably the pressure is just too high.
Leo Parker
It’s also worth noting that pressure from your partner will likely make it harder to orgasm
Maybe take that pressure off; just make your time together low stress and about enjoying each other, and then explore and experiment on your own when there isn’t a bunch of pressure to cum
GF and I had this problem (my ego started getting attached to her orgasms, and then she started having difficulty) so we took it off the table and just had a good time and voila, we started having great sex again
Wyatt Hill
>watch lots of porn, bf compares you unfavorably with porn stars, you get upset >bf ties you to the bed and goes at you with a plunger handle >drugs >lots and lots of corn syrup and greasy hamburgers >hire lots of black guys, make sure they do you in the ass >knife some homeless people, give them a sandwich first >video games, gotta do a lot >gym, dress like a thot and offer to blow random guys >hot yoga >watch cartoons, slapstick humor is best >get stupid, stop giving a shit about other people >etc
These may all be terrible ideas for your specific case, but I hope they helped. Seriously great question for Jow Forums, 9/10, maybe 10/10, good luck!
Honestly, you should talk to your doc or gyno. My wife had the same issues you describe and they found she had low levels of thyroid hormone. She takes a pill daily and now she squirts hard and wants it often.. I changed nothing about how it was done.
Anthony King
Great idea, I will do that. I do think I have something fucked up with my hormones because of other reasons, so maybe that’s it
Adrian Davis
My wife also had issues with body temp, (too hot or cold for no reason). Never horny, hard to Orgasm via penetration, didn't sleep, all kinds of shit is related via that hormone.. She is very different now, but it's all positive other than having to take a pill daily for rest of life. Hope all goes well with you, and don't force it.. It's the journey, not the result.
Elijah Wilson
Ah that’s not really the kind of hormonal issues I was thinking about, but I’ll ask anyway. I didn’t know you could ask a doctor.
Kevin Sanchez
The hormone I'm talking about is tsh. Its secretion amount forces other hormones to secrete that control hunger, temp, heart rate.. Among other things.. Just so happens it also has something to do with orgasms and being horny in general.. My wife brought those specific problems up and they did blood test and found low tsh.
Ryder Wright
Female orgasms are myth.
Xavier Wood
No they're not. I was with a guy who after I got comfortable with him and trusted him I orgasmed nearly every time we had sex
Camden Myers
He’s disappointed with himself, just to let you know.
Carson Morris
Try this: Next time you fuck, just tell your boyfriend neither of you are going to cum.
Just enjoy fucking. If he gets close to cumming, stop for a little bit, reset, and start back up. No pressure to make you cum, no pressure to make him feel good. Just enjoying the act of two people slamming sweaty bodies together in a pleasurable way.
Carter Long
if you're underweight fix that, a lack of estrogen makes it harder to orgasm. physically orgasms feel like a tightening throbbing sensation down there, you can't mistake that for anything else it's pretty intense. get a girlfriend and see if that works. regular exercise to make sure your brain can cope with stress.
Angel Gray
Nothing kills an orgasm like being overly focused on orgasming. If your mind isn't in the right place, then you'll never get off.
I didn't have my first one til I was about 18 or 19 anyway (despite a few years of trying before that). Now I can get off pretty easy. What exactly do you do when you masturbate nowadays?
You need to learn how to do it yourself before expecting a partner to be able to do it for you. If you don't know what presses your buttons, how can they?
First you need to be genuinely turned on and in the mood. Conjure some images in your head - what really turns you on? Then go into masturbating with the intention to have fun, not to orgasm. If you focus on the orgasm it'll be very difficult to achieve. Gently touch yourself over your pants, really light touch. As that becomes "normal", slip a hand inside your knickers and gently brush your clit. Add pressure as that becomes normal. Build up to it. Increase the speed and pressure until you find something you like. Stick at it and enjoy it, while keeping that sexy scenario in your head. Alternatively, if you want to use a vibrator, maybe don't stick it in consistently. Slide it up and down between your lips, get it wet, tease your clit with it. Maybe slide it in a few times and back out. And don't worry about not orgasming, just enjoy it for what it is. If you get bored and start losing interest, stop and go and do something else.
It took me a few years to get there but I did in the end. Just keep doing this, changing it up with different scenarios in your head, and different techniques finding what works for you, and always do it just to enjoy it, rather than with the aim to orgasm. When I started doing this, I felt myself getting a little bit closer, and one day it just happened. It was only a small one, But as years have gone on they're much bigger.
Good luck OP
Julian Harris
Women don't orgasm it's a meme perpetuated by feminists.
Owen Bennett
>been masturbating since I was a pre teen, mostly to solo women or gay men
It goes the same for women and men, quit porn.
Benjamin Diaz
the inability to have orgasms can be cured via hypnosis (there is also literature about it) just go on youtube and search for orgasm hypnosis women and you will find a lot of videos do only do hypnosis with videos you trust. there are a lot of fucked up hypnosis videos on there that can fuck you up. listen to every video once before you listen to it to fall into trance!!
Aiden Collins
Maybe you should try different positions, change the angle, try experimenting what feels good. For instance, my GF likes to ride because it works well for her, according to her.
