Why do people become what they call 'incels'?

the 'incels' are making history, aren't they?

26 y/o here. Realizing the following only over the last few months.

Get to a gym, start exercising, get out of whatever you have for a house, find friends that go out, go to bars, be open, talk, realize your flaws (think you're on the road with that) and then work to overcome them not by thinking about them, but by acting against them, keep yourself busy if you have to, just NEVER let yourself dawdle, sloth lets the doubts you have creep back in and take over...

Getting out is the key. Exposing yourself to people is the key. Lots of different people in lots of different places. Going to the gym? That's not just for the exercise and the gains, that's for the public setting. Have friends that don't go out a lot? Find a new circle to hang with as well.

DON'T be yourself. Be BETTER than yourself. IMPROVE yourself at every opportunity. ALWAYS seek that next level for yourself.

Only in the same way "nice guys" did. They'll be forgotten by three generations when the next phase takes over.

I have friends and contacts and "go out" regularly, work out, play sports, have hobbies, but I'm still a kissless dateless virgin.

Guess I just wasn't cut out for this life, eh?

How many girls have you asked out?

I kinda see where they're coming from, it must be kind of horrible to be average looking or below average looking and have to convince some girl to be your girlfriend in exchange for monogamy and emotional support to get sex, while your more attractive friends can just smash a new girl from Tinder every week.

I'd be pissed off too.

Two. But that was over 5 years ago now.

I think the same thing about myself. Constantly.

Kill that thought. Now. Rip it out by whatever roots it has.

Here's the thing. YOU have to initiate. YOU have to be the one to take matters into your own hands. Heck, grab an online date if you have to, anything to break yourself out of the drain you're in.

This. I have great pity for those that identify as incels, because the ways the world have evolved has left them behind.
Hilariously, I have nothing but hatred for MGTOW -- they are the epitome of "fuck it, I give up."

>My older sister was the smart extroverted one and they directed all their care to her. I simply sank into edgy internet subcultures and stopped giving a shit about the real world because other people didn't like me either.
Literally me

So you are just waiting to wake up one day and magically have a girlfriend or what? You know how I got my girlfriend? I asked her on a date and she said yes. If she said no I would have found another girl to ask out.

I tried and tried and tried. Nothing works. I could be the most beautiful man in the world and I still wouldn't have the confidence to go and ask girls out or go in for a kiss when a girl is flirting with me. Something is wrong with my psyche where I just can't make the first move on a girl. I'm too scared, either of rejection or of being bad at kissing/sex.

I feel like I have to reiterate that again:
Kill.
That.
Thought.

If you have to AUDIBLY mutter to yourself SHUT UP to whenever that through rears itself in your head, do it. If you have to wake up every morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and yell at yourself until you've cowed it for the day, do that. Whatever works for you. Just DON'T let nihilism, apathy, the black pill, whatever you want to call, take root in your brain.

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Can I fuck your smart extroverted sister?

I get this. I get all of this. I am you years from now. See:
I can't live for you, I can't take your place, much as I would love to with the knowledge I now have and the time you still have. It's going to take work after work, after work, for you. The only defeat is surrender.
If you give up, what changes, what CAN change? You'll just be where I am: looking back on your early 20s and wishing you'd not given up then. If you keep going, if you keep trying, even if you get to 26 and nothing's changed you'll have 4 years of experience behind you. 4 years of pushing yourself, 4 years of that effort sunk into your psyche until... suddenly, it's a part of you.

Like I said, I can't live for you, but it's because of that I also know you can fix yourself.

Doesn't bother me I'm decent looking and smash a new girl off Tinder every week.

I'd be pissed of if I wasn't though.

AH, sorry, wrong reply.

I am a 24 year old that has never hugged a woman before. let alone kissed or had sex. I dont have any of the incel mindset shit. the only thing that changed is that I became very aware why I am unattractive. And how actually thinking about it makes my chances with women even lower.

I'm 27 and at the point that I don't care for a relationship anymore. I can keep being single and won't care. Not an incel or MGTOW, just became completely apathetic at some point.

There were incels before the internet. How did that happen?

It's always a smorgasbord of things and the problem is that people who are incels have buried themselves in the tranny mentality: that to their problem, there is some singular miracle cure.

The fact of things like depression and anxiety, though-- often seen at the heart of both trans and cels-- is that you'll never 'get rid' of them as they're usually imprinted as a result of something or are machinations beyond our control (chem imbalances).

The real cure to the problem is no more internet under the age of 21. But we can't get there, and so we continue to expose vulnerable, mentally ill people to a world that brings out the worst of everything (the internet).

No there weren't. Sure there where guys who never had sex but nobody had the full on incel mentality we see today.

Parenting barely changed through the years and most incels are zoomers and millennials. There is something that changed a lot in the last 10-20 years though TEH INTERWEBZ.

Back in the day the potential incel would at least become a nerd and read some fucking books, helping them to get a little perspective on the world. Nowadays he can disappear into a bubble of insane ramblings by other troubled individuals and fall into a circlejerk of hatred for yourself and normal people. And given how there is still barely any formal education on how to use the web and more dumb shit reaching mainstream sites like yt, I bet the numbers will only grow.

Guy from a single parent mom here. Also immigrant. Also grew up in a pretty rough hood where pre teens OD'ing on drugs was not something noteworthy. And got the usual compliments ^2. Even at my worst suicidal and bullied days I could never picture even pretending to be an incel. So yeah, at least based on my experience or everyone I know, can't say I'm a supporter of the theories that parenting has too much of a factor.

This for sure.

>No there weren't. Sure there where guys who never had sex but nobody had the full on incel mentality we see today.

That's only because they didn't understand why they weren't getting sex, and they didn't have the luxury of witnessing the things women get upto with attractive guys when they think nobody is watching.

Thank god for the internet eh.

Bad luck? I had a gf 3 years ago who left me after 2 months and I couldn't get anyone since.
What's your solution?

>they didn't understand why they weren't getting sex
Neither do our incel friends. Also sex is something you have. You can't get it from anyone.

>they didn't have the luxury of witnessing the things women get upto with attractive guys when they think nobody is watching
Yeah, the idea that attractive people get laid was truly outlandish before the world wide web.

> Neither do our incel friends. Also sex is something you have. You can't get it from anyone.

Let's not be pedantic, women are the ones letting guys fuck them.

> Yeah, the idea that attractive people get laid was truly outlandish before the world wide web.

I don't think the average guy truly comprehended the disparity in the way he and a very attractive guy gets treated by women, but now incels can even catfish as a goodlooking guy and see exactly how brutally different the experience is.

t. not actually an incel.

>women are the ones letting guys fuck them.
Muh sexual selector thing ended when civilisation started.

>I don't think the average guy truly comprehended the disparity in the way he and a very attractive guy gets treated by women
They can get a more extreme version by observing how people treat celebrities. People who are more valued being treated better isn't an outlandish idea.

>t. not actually an incel.
From the sound of it a YET is missing.

> Muh sexual selector thing ended when civilisation started.

It wouldn't otherwise incels wouldn't exist and women wouldn't get 100x more matches than men on Tinder.

Incels have no connection to it, or any kind of reality.

> women wouldn't get 100x more matches than men on Tinder.
Most people don't date on Tinder. And Internet shit generally skews balance due vastly different demographics clashing (tons of bored girls who just want to check out pictures, tons of complete men who can't talk to real people)

I'm 29khv, not sure if incel since i've never tried.

Bad parenting, abusive father, weak and ineffective mother psychologically crippled me, escaped in to video games/internet which led to poor social skills and social isolation. Poor education, bad job market, mental health issues (Body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression, sucidal idealation etc..)

I never learnt how to do what I wanted/stand up for myself, spent my whole life bending myself around other people so I wouldn't be hurt.

You try explaining why you've never really worked (live in socdem country), never really had friends, and just waste all your life because you're stuck at this age.

>Most people don't date on Tinder. And Internet shit generally skews balance due vastly different demographics clashing (tons of bored girls who just want to check out pictures, tons of complete men who can't talk to real people)

Surely you must have one or two friends of yours who get laid 10x more than the rest?

Of course. People have different sex drives and some want to fukk more than others. What's your point?

I think it is a complicated issue. I can see isolation, personal reputation, and mental health playing large roles. Our forums are also to blame. our slot machines in our hands does a lot to narrow are thinking.

Solutions? Go outside, speak with people, read books, be nice to yourself. Get off of the internet unless it is to read something front to back, discussion can be a bad thing as well. Don't label yourself an incel, I don't know how bad that word is for people, but I've heard some use it to bully and demean people.

>Why do people become what they call 'incels'?
Extremists ideologies attract people who are already on the fringe of society who are not only desperate to form an identity through their struggle but also be accepted by a community which also validates it. There is a big difference between someone who is a virgin and struggles with social interaction and an incel. An incel has chosen to identify as such. Incels are a community. The way to create an incel is almost identical to the process of initiating someone into a cult. The first thing you must do is target someone who is lost; someone disenfranchised, lonely, ostracized. These kinds of people are desperate for a sense of belonging and are very easy to manipulate. The second thing you do is to completely insulate them from contradicting ideals. This is where Jow Forums and incel boards come into play. Consider these places the internet equivalent to the camps and compounds that cults use to keep their followers away from the rest of society. The last thing is to give them purpose and momentum. A sexually frustrated, socially rejected man already has a ton of pent up energy. Incel ideology gives it direction. Incel ideology gives him a target to aim his rage at and also surrounds him with like minded people who support and identify with this rage. At the end of the day people want to feel accepted and apart of a community and if you can give that to them they will believe anything whether it be that the earth is flat, that women are their enemy or that if they give you all their money and drink poison they'll go to heaven. The specific ideology doesn't matter, only the psychological need it fulfills.

>Is parenting to be blamed?

What is parenting? Sounds like you think parents have complete control over all incoming stimuli and responses, and are fully accountable for the telos of their offspring. I can think of a few hundred elements which compete for control of this.

All I know of "incel" is that it's a group of people (who for some reason self-identify, it's like right-wing trans for the brain) who believe they are entitled to sex but can't get it because reasons.

If they've built beliefs around it, they've already fallen for the first lie which is that they're born entitled to anything, let alone partners for smushy time. Parenting might play a role there, in that the child was inadequately prepared to discern lies from truth, but if the child cannot discern lies from truth, how can the parents teach them to do such?

>All I know of "incel" is that it's a group of people (who for some reason self-identify, it's like right-wing trans for the brain) who believe they are entitled to sex but can't get it because reasons.
Incels are more like an opposition group to a perceived threat. To my understanding they believe that women, among others, are responsible for creating a social framework of which they are the victims. Feeling entitled to sex is definitely a way to describe it but they more accurately believe that they are at the bottom of the societal barrel and that women have malicious and intentionally put them there. A big part of extremist ideology is clearly defining a "good guy" and a "bad guy". You'll notice this through line in a lot of conspiracy theories and extremist groups. In flat earth groups, flat earthers are the "good guys" hunting for truth and NASA are the "bad guys" who are hiding the truth and protecting it through murder and intimidation. To white extremists they are the "good guy" who are protecting their families and future ancestors from extinction where left leaning politicians and groups like BLM are the "bad guy" who are actively plotting to kill, terrorize and disenfranchise them. Its very difficult to sustain this kind of ideology among its members unless there is a well defined good vs. evil struggle.

Not sure whether the good guy thing is entirely correct for incels though. Many seem to accept their role as a disgusting loser and even reveal in it. The victimhood narrative still presents them as the lesser evil and basically anti heroes but they lack the aspect of similar groups where the membership perceives themselves as the obvious good guys. They are oddly similar to ISIS in that aspect.

Genes. For me, it’s my small dick.

>Not sure whether the good guy thing is entirely correct for incels though.
I'm not intimately familiar with the different factions within the incel groups but I'm just merely drawing the parallels between extremist groups and their incel counterparts. There's a lot of people who are racist and/or nationalists that don't necessarily have any intention on physically mobilizing against left-wing groups but I don't think that changes the inherent us vs. them foundation upon which the ideology is based.

No, unrealistic expectations and standards placed upon men by women and super-hypergamy are to blame

This. Girls were mean to me in elementary school. I was "gross". I damn near became an incel myself. Despite a successful normal dating life, and even being engaged, every new woman I meet is still defaulted in my mind as "probably a bitch".

>t.incel

The friend/enemy disjunction is in every political group. Read Schmitt and Yockey

Hey look an incel.

Doesn't help Trump shut down Backpage and casual encounters

And?

>The friend/enemy disjunction is in every political group.
True. I was just speaking about it in the context of extremism. The difference between the two being that the farther you unseat people from reality the more false reality you need to create to replace the one they no longer have. Political groups are often based on objective, quantifiable events and policies whereas extremist ideologies typically aren't.

You're easy to spot because of how hilariously wrong your view is. Women don't have impossible expectations. You just keep telling yourself that.

Anyone else voluntarily celibate but still feel as depressed and lonely as incels?

Damn,
look at all these experts on the internet with no credibility.
Going anywhere to call anybody disagree with them an incel.

>Is it parenting
Mainly, yeah. Incels are usually frustrated reclus or just asshole degenerates who don't have the balls to manipulate or rape women for sex. It's not hard to get laid, all you need
to do is get the village bicycle drunk or high, take them to a private room, then start feeling her up.

I'm a 21 year old virgin mainly by choice, I've made out with grills, dated them, but never went all the way. The only thing that bothers me is that I haven't found a woman I want to marry yet.

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Nah. My life is great now desu. Even though I had serious issues in the past and have fixed myself I've learned a lot more about self control and how to find contentment in life.

I'm fit, my career is moving along smoothly, I have friends and family who care for me now... life is fantastic even if I haven't found a woman I always want by my side yet.

>Women don't have impossible expectations.

Fucking lmao

Are you from Europe? You seem like you're from Europe.

Damn, I am actually in a similar situation. I don't have many friends though but I feel like I am actually doing well career and financial wise. And I can socialize at work pretty well.

Blah blah blah... Why do you still care about this shit.
Men fucking women, women fucking men, children fucking men, dog fucking human, women fucking aliens.
Who the fuck cares.

i do

It’s women’s fault, they only like chads, and we, the nice guys end last, that’s not my momma’s fault or my autism’s fault, but girls who don’t like me!
I am a really nice guy! Why women are such whores and skanks?

Yes yes, you found the incel. Would you like some reddit gold?

Just take a shower bro!

It's a steady process user, you just have to have some faith and make sure you really dedicate to self improvement.

I do and wear nice shirts and pants, not the crap you see on tv nowadays but actual vintage suit like clothes, fedoras and cologne, I might not grow a beard but I let my mustache grow to get a rico suave look.
Girls dig it, i know several girls and women who dig the look

>Fedoras
Do you wear top hats too?

Yes, only on special occasions, but u don’t get? Is it funny or something? I’m not fit, more like average-chubby fella so the hats and facial hair help, I saw it on YouTube video tutorials.

>u
Trying too hard m8

there are three huge factors influencing a person calling themselves a incel: resilience, depression, and narcissism.

Resilience is the golden key to any kind of success. its not about whether your mommy told you that you were smart, or stupid. it is whether your mommy taught you how to deal with it. being smart means that you get higher expecations loaded onto you, so you do more with it. being ugly means that you have to be nicer, funnier, smarter. Parents teach kids how to handle rejection and bounce back.

incels have no bounce. they see disappointment and take it as a fucking catastrophe. "involuntary celibate" describes every human being on earth, at some point in time. at any moment, hundreds of millions of people would like to be getting laid, but can't because their dating prospects are shit. There is a reason that only a tiny number spiral out of control and start emotionally mutilating themselves

Its just bad looks

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Pure autism and inability to cope with it.

Shyness

>incels have connection no reali-

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>Women don't have impossible expecta-

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Thanks user. I'm trying to keep improving myself.

>"nice guys"
they didn't go on shooting sprees and run people down with their cars

incels are just a symptom of rising entitlement isolation and mental illness. This isn't going to be soon

All this tells me is that guys will fuck everything,
but your stupid incel brain has changed it to 'women are too picky'

The process in which incels find justification for their beliefs is actually really similar to flat earthers. Make something into a graph or chart and cite a survey or poll that supports your ideals and its fairly easy to be convince people of almost anything if they're already sufficiently motivated to believe its true. I've personally seen this one OkCupid survey posted dozens of times by people on this board as proof that incels are correct. This one survey and all of the other ones like it are like holy grails to incels.

Me. I don’t look bad, I get a lot of Tinder matches, I know coworkers who are into me, I just don’t have the drive and desire to pursue anyone, even as a friend.

Also, I’ve found female coworkers who already have bf (hell, even pregnant) but they’re like into me. Idk, that just disgusts me, and turns me off. What if my future wife is also like that?

No you dummy, people had a better sense of why they weren't getting laid back then. Seriously, not a single one of my virgin friends in high school had any sort of question about why they were virgins. And we all knew exactly how girls act with attractive guys, because we all went to high school and saw it.

Fuck Gen Z. You assholes were essentially born with access to all the world's collective knowledge, and the entire lot of you are dumb as fucking bricks.

Nah the truth is that people have always been so fucking dumb and fed lies by one source. Now we are so fucking dumb and fed lies by 10000 sources.

sad but true

also I think critical thinking is at its lowest since the 60s, people are about as bright as they were at the beginning at the 20th century, but they believe they know everything

thanks internet

I like how you didnt refute anything. Incels bring evidence to the debate. You bring empty rhetoric comparing me to flat earthers.

>Incels bring evidence to the debate.

Is that a quote from Imbossiball?

Rating women on a bell curve is wanting to fuck anything? No. The charts say that men rate women fairly.

More ad hominans and non arguments. Thats all you blue pill types do

>The charts say that men rate women fairly.

that is conjecture, fair is a construct

I personally don't care that you are either

a) so ugly nobody would fuck you, not even other hideous chuds

or

b) are such a giant loser with a shit personality that nobody could ever fuck you / you will never generate the possibility or circumstances to get laid.

I'm just saying, that you're stupid and your logic is seriously and fundamentally flawed.

have a nice day you loser faggot. Why not go shoot up a school? you know, prove to all of us that you're super cool and deserving of love and sex. :))))))))

Are you that guy that serial posts the risks of receptive anal intercourse on /gif/?

go dilate

How do i know youre such a giant roastie? Is it because youre being obtuse playing around with the definition of the words? Men rate women on a non skewed bell curve. Wether you want to say thats fair or not is irrelevent.

Or is it because you think phrases like "i dont care that youre a loser" are logical arguments?

No. Stop trying to discredit me