I'm a worthless moron and I've been a NEET for 7 years and was a hikki for 10 months...

I'm a worthless moron and I've been a NEET for 7 years and was a hikki for 10 months. I've always had someone to take care of me, my grandparents, father, or mother. Whenever they get tired of my bullshit, they sent me to live with somebody else. I always tell myself I'll do better, but my agoraphobia, depression, and low I.Q. have always stopped me from really trying. As long as I have a safety net, as long as I can lie to those who take care of me to keep their sympathy, I'll never really try. I only tried once, I left everybody behind and was homeless in Colorado for 12 days. I applied to as many jobs as I could and slept in an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. I got sick, panicked, and moved back in with my grandmother completely embarrassed. I gave up trying after that, convinced I just couldn't do it.

Still, I want to be on my own again. Even though I didn't sleep much, had no money, and was always scared, I felt relieved that I didn't have to encumber my family with disappointment and shame. I knew that whatever was going to happen to me, good or bad, I was going to have to deal with it myself and I would deserve the consequences. I feel like I have to do it again. I can't take the guilt of being a burden at 24. I can't take the subtle jabs from extended family members, my father patronizing me, my mother telling me to just get on SSRI's and collect disability. They have all given up on me and know that I can't do anything for myself. I really just want to be considered a human being again.

I'm don't want to go into this without a plan this time. I know how to make enough on the internet to feed myself, I can buy a cheap bike for transportation, and the area I'm thinking of has mild weather. I'm not fantasizing about some vagabond life. I'm sure homelessness is horrible and can hard to get out of, but this is fucking awful, too. I am constantly fantasizing about killing myself. I know I'm stupid, but I want to change. How can I make this work?

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find yourself a wageslave job and move out? look for a homeless shelter to go into they can be shitty but just keep to yourself and don't make friends. btw life doesn't get better at least it didn't for me.

Sounds like you've been fed a lot of bullshit.

Everybody wants what's easy. Even if they are a pain in the ass themselves... these same people will still want what's easy.

But who actually gets what they deserve?
For that matter, what do you actually deserve?

Even murderers proclaim their innocence up until the moment somebody hits the lights on their electric chair.

If even the worst are granted rooms to contemplate their mistakes, how much more are you owed?

The fact of the matter is only you can decide what you're worth. Anything else is what I like to call, "Exposition," - schemes created from the sadness of hearts.

I've been fired from my last 2 jobs for being incompetent and socially abrasive. I've had DPDR since I was 17 and I just don't listen, I'm always in my head. I simply do not absorb information and don't know how to interact with people anymore. I'm sure it can be improved upon, but my natural inclination is to just leech to avoid being around people. As far as a homeless shelter goes, I've heard awful stuff: drugs, disease, things being stolen, and the shelter's treating you like scum. Hiding in the woods seems less stressful.

I'm 24 as well, living with family temporarily and I am really trying to get out on my own again asap and for good.

Start by looking at your surroundings and your diet. Clean your living space if it's dirty, change your eating habits if you feel like shit, and stop sleeping in so late if you are. You need money, a decent wardrobe, some form of transportation whether it's auto, bike, public transit, and start looking for places to rent. Write out a budget. Get an idea of what it would cost every month for rent, utilities, groceries, misc expenses, so on and so forth. Where do you want to live and why? Pick a place. Check it out on Google Maps. See what's around. Make an ideal grocery list/note recipes you want to learn to make so you can cook for yourself. Just do SOMETHING.

It's hard to change but what sucks more is the poisonous slow-burn of not doing anything risky or adventurous. Good luck my friend

your life isnt going to change unless you want it to, your comments about being fired are excuses. How about just listen and try and get a job where you dont have to do anything complicated. Also if you fuck up on the job own it andtry and do better, dont blame it on "oh thats just my low iq and fucked social skills". Get a job being a bin man or something and just be upfront with people when ur working with them that you are socially retarded.

Can't fucking stand parents like this that raise their kids to be a slob and then turn around and act like its the kids fault.

Wait so if you're 24 why don't you start at an entry level job? Work retail or restaurants, but if you're physically weak don't try factory or warehouse jobs, if you're not ready for that kind of work you'll only get discouraged. Start small and work your way up, I started working years later for similar reasons. I've been fed bullshit by family and bad schools.

> I know how to make enough on the internet to feed myself

Is this the kind of idea you can share without jeopardizing your idea's value? You piqued considerable curiosity with this single statement.

Join the military. They have a job for any person above an 80 IQ, they give free food, clothing, and shelter. Sounds like you're the man for the job.