Now that I have by some retarded stroke of luck managed to land a date (restaurant), what do I do on one?
Can someone explain it to me like a methodology statement because I am slightly autistic and wont understand if you just make broad statements like "just act natural".
Order something before the waiter has even seated you. This'll show that you're assertive AND decisive.
Order something with a lot of garlic. Alternatively, order ribs and tell the waiter you don't require napkins. It's a power play, trust me.
Find out about your date, man. Don't you wanna know about him and then have the chance to tell him about your life? Oh, make sure you ask questions to find out if they set off your red flags warning system. That's always good.
This is going to be a disaster and everyone will know I'm an autistic retard with no social skills.
No, doing either of these actions would prove that you're a maverick who can think beyond the conventional, "socially accepted" playbook
Don't listen to this tard. I know him. He's nothing but an ugly, dateless loser. Pic attached is a picture of him.
When talking with your date, avoid asking yes or no questions. Ask questions that need an explanation.
For example:
Bad:
> do you like this city?
Good:
> what made you decide to move here?
In general, avoid questions with simple answers
Bad:
> where do you work?
Good:
> tell me about your goals in life
It's hard for me to think of good examples right now because I am half asleep. Hopefully you get the idea.
Ask questions. Try not to talk about yourself unless she asks you. Just try to get to know her and let her do most of the talking.
But what about before the talking?
give her a hug when you see her the first time. Make some comment about traffic and/or weather then get a table. Is that what you mean?
Say hello to your date, ask the waiter for a table for two.
If you screw it up, apologize briefly for being a little awkward. Better to acknowledge it than act like it isn't there when it's plainly obvious.
Then when you're seated, start asking some simple questions.
Don't get too nervous. Dates are really just hangouts. You're just trying to get to know the person.
Just ask questions. man. You're at a restaurant, so ask if she has been there before or if there are similar places or if she enjoys this kind of food regularly or what other kind of food does she like. Ask how her day was, so far, up until that point and try to find something in her answer that you can relate to and share your experience with. Ask the things you want to know about her. There must be somethings about her that you want to know. It's not that hard, man. Like, at all.
Also try not to look at your phone or use the bathroom during the date. Looking at phone is pretty rude (doesn’t matter if she does it because women) and just make sure you piss beforehand so you don’t gotta worry about it.
Just remember she is there because she wants to be with you and you’re there because you want to be with her. Have fun and get to know her
>give her a hug when you see her the first time
Is this standard operating procedure?
Ok.
Maybe.
don’t gotta hug if it ain’t for you man, I usually go for it but maybe wait for the second date. Hopefully if it goes well you’ll at least get a hug at the end of the date when you walk her to her car.
If not hug what else do we do just stand awkwardly looking at each other?
Say something along the lines of “hey it’s good to see you” then after she replies give her a hug. It’s a good way to start the date.
I think you’ll have a good time man, just listen to Relax by Frankie goes to Hollywood on the drive to the restaurant and have that kind of energy and you’ll be golden.
PLEASE respond.
Some basic micro stuff for you user:
Some restaurants have the routine that if you order wine (usually in a bottle), you get to taste it first to approve it. Just say like "it's good - we'll take it" if it doesn't taste like crap.
Don't fiddle with stuff on the table i.e. your knife,fork,spoon,glass. Especially if you're nervous this can get out of control, plus it looks childish. If you need to rearrange the position of something, do it when you get the food.
At a restaurant there's usually a lot of people, might be some noise - you take in a lot in our brain. So it could be relaxing to take a walk afterwards.
I know how restaurants work just not how dates do within that framework.
a good little technique ive been using is to envision myself in a conversation with another person, and think of what questions I would like someone to ask me, about what topics I like, what hobbies I have, etc. gl with the date too and remember everyone makes mistakes
If this is the first time meeting then introduce yourself like you would anyone else.
"Anonette? Hi I'm user (shake hands here). (Insert compliment about her physical appearance here). "Shall we go inside?"
literally the dumbest shit I've read all day
go in tipsy but at the point where its not noticable. itll actaully help boost your confidence a bit. def worth the pay off. also she look like the type to like to be choked so make sure your hands and face look clean
I agree with this. Take a shot before the date because it'll help you relax.
Maintain as much eye contact as you can muster but try not to come off creepy.
Don't act like a goofball, stay relaxed, use your chest voice, remain stoic, but not too dead pan.
If by the end of the dinner the vibes are good, invite her back to your place.
You do have your own place, don't you, user?
>You do have your own place, don't you, user?
Mirror their body language and facial expressions, except not in a creepy, over the top way. Like if they laugh, laugh a bit too. If they're leaning forward, lean forward too.
Girl in pic u look good. dont worry about it have a fun date the person ur seeing probably has more trouble with first dates than you
What if they sneeze?
>Girl
>slightly autistic
Diagnosed by an actual, real life professional with actual certifications autism or le funny internet meme autism?
Is this you or who you're taking on a date? either way she's cute, if its you might wanna rethink the choker its a little out of place, not to mention most girls I meet who wear chokers are crazy in one way or another.
As for a date, its really not as complicated as everyone makes it out to be, if you have fun and get to know one another better that's enough.
>she
Don't sneeze lmao, that's not body language.
And don't like mirror it exactly, just mirror the general vibe you're getting from their body language if that makes sense.
I'm in my 20s and haven't done this before, that makes me autistic.
Bump
If you don't find anything to start the convo, ask her if her way to the restaurant was okay, or the weather, or how her week was.
The goal in the beginning is always to make a connection between you and the person you're talking to. And it's easier to talk about stuff you both can relate to.
If you have common acquaintances, light gossip goes a long way. Yes, it's shitty but gossip is some kind of social currency and we're all guilty in participating. If you're hesitant, remember there's also positive gossip.
Ask her a few things here and there to keep the conversation interesting and avoid awkward silence.
When you see her at the restaurant, compliment her. We're all shallow beings to some extent and like compliments, especially if they're honest.
Pro tier:
Watch her body language. Does she lean towards you when you talk? Then she's giving up some distance and feels secure. Is she leaning back or keeping her hands in front of her body? Then she wants to "shield herself" and you can come up with something to make her feel more relaxed.
You can check up on whether she feels comfortable around you by making little gestures and seeing if she copies it. Something like a short touch behind your ear. If she copies it, that's a good sign she's feeling well. Don't worry if she doesn't, though.
Elder god tier:
In the right moment, you can "anchor" certain emotions by touching her somewhere when she feels it (on her finger, her arm, ...). If you want her to feel that emotion again, touch her there. The more often that anchor is used, the more powerful it gets. Don't overdo it, though. And keep it playful at all times!
Never forget: Be your fucking self. In one-on-one communication, people can smell when you're not being authentic, I swear to God. And if there's no chemistry between you two, don't let it get to you.
Good luck, user. I'm rooting for you.
It went pretty good guys.
Got any tips to give back?
Nope.
It’s conversation. Just like online but with words. What kind of person are you, and her? What do you guys talk about?