I've been friends on discord with a person for more than a year and we've talked so much, played so many games, watched so many dumb videos together and much more; we have around 100k messages sent to each other in total.
Lately i had been feeling like I was actually bothering him and he was being hard on me at times, but I really didn't give it much thought; every time I asked him if something was wrong as I was feeling him distant, he just replied with something along the lines "it's nothing, you'll see soon lol" and thought that he was getting bored of me or something like that, so two weeks ago I stopped sending messages first and he never messaged me again, and I feel like absolute garbage because of this, I enjoyed messaging him so much, doing dumb stuff together, just his presence was enough to make me feel not just better, but great altogether in the days i was feeling like utter garbage (which were many).
I really don't know what to do, the realization came to me yesterday in bed as two weeks had passes and I started crying like a dumb baby.
It makes me so sad the fact that I don't think I'll ever talk to him again, I want to message him so much, I tried my hardest to hold back and not message him these two weeks to see if he didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I don't know what to do, I don't even know why I'm writing it here as there really is no question to ask, I guess it could be a "what should I do now?"
Sorry for making you read this long and useless rant.
Discord friend
The gay bromance ended. He found someone else to hang with and doesn't really care because you're "just an internet friend".
Seen it happen and experienced it myself, for two decades. Never think that an online friendship is real.
send him this thread.
nothings gonna come from nothing.
at the very least -- prod him, if he really does want nothing to do with you then que sera sera, some people just turn on a fucking dime like that. it sucks but theres not much you can do without looking like an asshole. a lot of times they say "i used to be a horrible person then" or "i changed" or some other shitty excuse like that, and they'll dodge the real reasons.
seriously though just open a dialogue and see what's what.
it was the only thing i had so i guess i just grasped at it with all my might, back to being a loner even online then
sorry but that would just be too embarrassing and i don't want him to feel forced to still talk to me, if he doesn't care anymore then i won't force anything onto him
anyways, thank you both for your answers.
Do people really value online friendships this much? I was friends with someone from late 2015 to last month, and we exchanged several hundred thousand messages across multiple platforms. One day I just got sick of him and blocked him everywhere.
its kind of shitty to ghost a person like that but i dont know any context so i guess i cant really pass judgement
I guess I valued it because he was the only person I have ever talked so much both on and offline and that actually made me happy to be around, maybe not having any friends in real life skewed with that too, who knows.
You should message him. I have friend that I love this much too.
theres more fish in the sea, the internet is obviously full of people looking to socialize and you can easily find them (discords, forums, etc)
that being said you should still message your friend and try to talk to him still, he might be going through some irl stuff or you might have annoyed him in some way, either way be nice and respectful. gl bro
I've asked him if something was wrong and things like this for weeks and he just kept saying "nothing, you'll see lol" or "no I'm fine" every time, I don't know what to do at this point
I didn't ghost him. I just told him to fuck off because I felt that he didn't care about our friendship anymore and his toxic attitude was dragging me down.
Maybe “you’ll see” means he’s busy working on something and he’s going to show you later? Is he an artist or musician?
He's in university, and he's been saying that for many weeks prior to never messaging me again, so I don't think it was that
I don't know what to tell you, other than that you come across as a decent person and that you should think about channeling your energy elsewhere. How old are you? Do you work or go to school?
i'm 21 and i'm currently going to university.
I'd strongly recommend that you throw yourself into socializing while you still have the chance. In my experience, real-life friendships are far better than their online counterparts. I'm sorry to hear about what happened, but you should never allow yourself to be so dependent on an online friend that his ghosting you causes you such pain. If you make and surround yourself with as many friends as possible, you'll have more people to support you if you fall out with any one of them.
I know this sounds simple, but it's something I wish I'd known far sooner.
I tried but real life relationship are just not for me, i feel a constant sense of alienation and my brain doesn't help with that either; but you're right, thanks.
maybe he's planning on killing himself or something. Not asking what he means by it is a stupid move on your behalf.
I did ask what he meant by it but just empty responses were given, and he really doesn't seem like the guy to do that either
Friend, you are 21 and in university. Please take this advice from me. Use this time in your life as an opportunity to practice building your IRL social skills and attempt to make friendships at uni. You don’t have anything to lose by trying. Just practice. Reach out. Go to club meetings and events. Talk to that person sitting next to you. This is the last time you will be around so many people who are your peers and may share something in common with you. Don’t spend so much of the precious time you have at uni wasting time online. Please take this advice from someone who is about to graduate from university and has so many regrets about the years wasted in isolation.
>I felt that he didn't care about our friendship anymore
But you are the one who randomly blocked him after getting angry, and you yourself just said "Do people really value online friendships this much?" Aren't you the one who seems to not have really cared.
>His toxic attitude was dragging me down
That action was extremely toxic, ghosting anyone at random or just cutting them off without any chances after knowing them for that many years is ice cold.
It is understandable to be upset if you lose a friend, especially in such a manner. The problem seems to be you place your entire self-worth on others, you should try to find something you enjoy doing you can be proud of.
This is why I'm not a fan of online friendships. Its so damn easy to just get ghosted after months or years of talking. And you never find out why.
I think the friendship might be over, OP. I can't give advice on how to revive it but I would recommend not being too attached to online friends. People come and go all the time and I'd say it's even an accomplishment in itself that you've had this online friend for over a year.
Also, do you have any irl friends?
I will try to find something I can be proud of, maybe even something that makes me feel happy (not that I have never tried, but still).
I do not have friends in real life.