Ask the other sex anything

Copying from last thread. Question to other women: what nationalities/ethnicities of men have you dated and what have been your experiences? How were they in relatio ships? I know, everyone is an individual after all, but am looking for some general conclusions

A caucasian, first boyfriend. He was terrible, honestly. Did the whole "insult all women, and me, but claim he didnt refer to me" bullshit to destroy my confidence, and undermine my ability to think for myself.
A black guy, university classmate, really cool guy, but his family was far too hateful of me, so we had to split up due to the sheer cultural differences.
A Spanish guy, really charming, but his constant flirting with *every single girl* was too much for me.
A South Korean guy, easily the best one so far. He focuses a bit too much on work, but overall seems to have the best all around sense of loyalty and respect, and has his priorities in order. He is also the one least afraid of speak his mind on what he wants from me, and isn't afraid to "make a mistake" that the other guys were. He is just much more honest, as are his parents, which has been very easy to work with. The first one I can actually see growing old with.

For you women: Repulsive "nice guy" offers you a gift. Do you take the gift?

Girls,
How to be good at cuddling?
Is there any way to make it arousing?
Or just how do I have her enjoy the cuddling any specific things you like?

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Probably not.

But you have given way too little information to go on here.

Close hugging, don't lie there in a < shape trying to avoid her. Move your hands, not much, just enough for a gentle caress. Gentle scratches on her back can also be nice.

If the idea is to arouse her, skin contact is crucial, and it is even more important to have as much contact as possible, especially the pelvic area. Go under clothes, not groping, just to caress her skin on her back, down her sides, arms, legs, etc. Basically avoid the obvious, and focus on the rest of her body. Key to cuddling is to let it be relaxing, so everything should be slow and gentle.

I'd never take gifts from someone I wasn't extremely close to. Not even the "hot" guy I wouldn't mind dating.

>guy asks me why I am a virgin on text
>he is a friend of 6 years, and I have a huge crush on him, but he used to have a girlfriend, and I haven't had the spine to say anything after he got out of his relationship about 16 months ago.
>I'm basically hoping he is the one to take my virginity at some point.
Quick, what do I answer?

>Quick, what do I answer?

Link him to this post. You have plausible deniability but also get to gauge his reaction.

>Because you haven't made a move yet
>You were already taken
>Waiting for a guy to propose first.
>I only date friends, and I don't have any other guy friends.

If you're talking about a Nice GuyTM, then no, because he's fishing for something and whatever tat he decided to buy me isn't worth it.

>How to be good at cuddling?
Be warm, relaxed and don't have a vice grip. Snuggle in close too!
>Is there any way to make it arousing?
Yeah, gentle touches on the outside of her hips, thighs, sides are all, if some right, things that can lead to arousal.
>Or just how do I have her enjoy the cuddling any specific things you like?
Head scratchies, hair playing (gentle), the cute little contented sigh when someone settles into you.

Tell him that youre waiting for someone you have genuine feelings for and could see spending the rest of your lives together. It would have to be someone you could be friends with for a long time with no awkwardness. "like you lol". Be careful not to tell him that it's him specifically, at least not until you're in his bed, cus that could be real creepy.

So "I love you" slipped out when I was getting dicked by my relatively new (2 months) bf. I am 24 years old, I am better than this, feel free to roast. When can I expect the break up?

what

Thank you, went with
>only date friends
He knows he is my only Male friend. Not expecting a quick response, we normally take hours between texts.

What don't you understand?

>something slipped during sex
>wasn't an ex's name, wasn't some sort of fucked up shit like "mess up my porcelain cunt with your black rager"
>wasn't "make me your little doggie" followed by barking noises"
>just a good old sex-driven "I love you"
What? If it comes up, cross the bridge. Otherwise, keep riding for the dick.

Are you lying when you say you love him or what? Can you not trust him to understand that you said it in the heat of passion? Why are you so expectant that he'll break up with you over this?

Guys, give me the best date possible you can imagine. It can be anywhere, doing anything you can imagine. Even just sex at your/her place.

I want some honest opinions. I have never been fond of the traditional dates, and most guys go for them anyway. I need some ideas for what a guy would *actually* like to do, that isn't just pleasing a societal norm that most girls might prefer.

Kek that made me feel a bit better but 2 months is faaaaaaaaar too early considering our ages to be saying this shit and I don't even know if it's true. I guess I'll just wait for him to say something.

I'm not sure? I love him, we've been mates for years, but whether I'm in love with him is very debatable because we barely know each other that way yet.
>Can you not trust him to understand that you said it in the heat of passion
Is that a legitimate thing that dudes will know about? He's never slept with anyone else so it's not as if he's had experience in this shit irl. If a dude told me that he loved me in two months, I'd freak out a lot because that kinda says to me he doesn't actually know what love is or he's waaaaaay ahead of me and that's super intense, plus I have a couple (other) dude friends who I've spoken to about this in the past with similar views.

I just hit 30, i'm a medfag and i want to find a long-term gf, maybe marry.
I tried my luck with girls my age and coworkers (single ones), but they are all 28+ and pretty much stuck up.
I was thinking trying out girls much younger than me. I don't want to pump and dump.
Would 22-25 year olds be fine with dating a 30 year old guy?

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I'm a simple man, I just want to drink bowl with someone. Drunk pool is not fun especially when you get your ass kicked by it by someone drunker than you. Drunk bowling is fun because there's no skill.

Also space movies are a massive no-no. Just take me to a comedy movie or Avengers Endgame. Something eventful for one evening. Not a typical evening either, for those, we could just camp at a coffeehouse eating edibles or discussing what other fun shit we could do.

Carnivals and fairs are life and if we could do that kind of shit for the day, you made it an awesome date. Clowns may scare you, but prizes and rides are what's the best. Oh and we could do shit behind a tent and no one would notice. That makes a nice story to share with the boys.

The alternative is doing the whole, "So hey, I said 'I love you' during sex and..." which just isn't something with a smooth segue that isn't positively inundated with euphemism... which is basically the same shit.

Yeah, two months is pretty early, but at the same time it's not a grievous failure. It was during sex. If you're texting him when he wakes up and goes to bed and shit, then worry. One isolated incident-- there's even a chance he doesn't recall it, what with being dongle-deep in your honey hideout.

Now, the stress you'll cause yourself sweating bullets about this, the constant overthinking, the tripwires you'll set yourself thinking 'oh I already said this if I say another thing/do another thing I'll really be in hot water...'
Remember that relationships are supposed to be fun at the end of the day, not stressful. They'll take effort sure as hell, but they shouldn't take your sanity too.

>Guys, give me the best date possible you can imagine.

Bring your current book over. We'll each read relatively equal amounts in each other's company, and we'll determine how well we do with leaving each other alone. Obviously, whoever gets up to pee should offer to fetch a water (or whatever) for the other.

If you want to stay overnight, we can play other games too. I'm relationship-focused and monogamous, though, so to relax for sex I need to know you'll leave me tf alone when I'm doing my thing. Also, if you bring ice cream or beer (not both, the two should never mix) then there are bonus points.

Honestly, anything that feels like it was planned with me, specifically, in mind. You know?

That, "You mentioned you really really like salt water taffy so I thought we'd go to a candy store that's supposed to have the best, and then I was going to take you out for [X food I like]..."

But like, I'm always super floored when people do things for me. It's like, why? I'm fucking trash, just leave me where I belong. So there's a chance I over-value that sort of individual tailoring.
Still, if you want to send someone a message that they're important, a day about them is a good way to do it.

Fat day. Bundled up in soft stuff, eating garbage and watching garbage with no regard for our future health.

Road trip, camping, stargazing. The childhood nostalgic stuff.

Oktoberfest.

> which just isn't something with a smooth segue
Yeah that definitely wasn't gonna happen. Okay, good point, I chat a lot of shit so hopefully he didn't hear / it just flowed in with the rest of the nonsense. I'll try to chill out about it considering, thanks for the input,

Gals who have close male friends of 7-10 years, how likely would you be to consider a romantic relationship with them if they were to express interest?
To keep this purely hypothetical, I'm not seeking advice for my own purposes (deathly fear of fucking up what few relationships I managed to maintain), but would just appreciate some insight of how you might view them.

Accidentally posted this in the old thread

Is not being aloof enough a real meme?

Is wanting a relationship and being open about it with girls you're interested in a turn off? Younger guy btw

Well, I mean, the guy I'm currently with I was mates with for over 7 years before starting to date him. So it's definitely possible, but it'll depend heavily on her and your relationship as friends. Expect the other person to be throw off guard and possibly defensive about it initially tho, women are used to dudes who don't care about them pretending to be their friend for pussy, so she might think that's what you've been doing. The closer or more genuine your friendship, the more likely she will be to actually reciprocate.

Hmm. Not much of a drinker unfortunately.

Not a fan of movies in general, either. Never feels like fun dates. Mind you, I am talking about the first 3 dates, not when we know each other extremely well.

Carnivals do sound like a more fun idea, but they are sadly rather rare where I live.

This would be ideal for the first couple of dates with a new girl you dont know?

This would require I knew a lot about you though. It's very specific kind of things, and tailoring a date to someone I barely know is very difficult unless I am given a very good picture of you on the first date.

Hah, pizza date sounds cozy.

It's much more of a turnoff to act like you dont want a relationship. It depends on the girl you go for. If you are hoping for a hookup slut, be aloof, if you are going for a girl who is looking for a husband, being aloof is the easiest way to turn her off within 10 minutes.

Depends on the gift and how often I see my tech friends.
If they confessed and I actually did find them attractive, I might, considering they agree with my identities. Obvs no if I didn't.

I'll be honest, I had the hots for 30 year olds when I was 22.

I still have, and I'm 27 now. 30 year old men, are like 20 year old women. It's just the best age.

I'm I had gone for him right away had if been possible. Unfortunately, it turned out he had a girlfriend, and wasn't interested in being more than friends. So I stuck around hoping it might happen one day.

Where I live, they're common once every 10 miles.

Problem is of course gas, the money with tickets and games, etc.
Maybe not even being drunk. Just bowling is fun because all skill levels can play. Pool takes a really good player to hit the cueball just right to where more than 2 balls get sent into the ho-oh wow that sounds gross.

My point is if you had to take me to the theatres, entertain me. Space bores me. Deeply. I get depressed somehow while my brain is too tiny to understand Worfs and protocols and all that silly shit from the Orville.

Anything but just 'chilling and Netflix' until the very ass end of the date, if it was even that good.

if you're not an aloof person, don't act like it. it'll be a VERY transparent act
it's played out, I know, but being yourself is the best way you'll find somebody that will readily reciprocate your feelings.
you're young, you have time.

>neet virgin women get chad CFOs
>neet virgin men get free insults and disdain
fuck life

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Not at all; no.

In the interests of full disclosure: I'll occasionally see pictures of a man that'll have me picture climbing him like a tree, but in real life I've ogled a few men but never had any interest in taking it farther than aesthetic appreciation.

Honestly, if it keeps happening it's probably you more than it's women in general. Beyond that, I can't help you without more context. Have you noticed any additional patterns? Where are you meeting this girls? Are there common signs before they disappear on you?

Eh, my exes have all been white except for the one asian guy I "dated" over the internet back in high school. A few different nationalities, though: American, Dutch, Australian, Kiwi. Americans were pretty normal guys; I remember the Dutch guy was very sweet; Australian was interesting; of the two Kiwis I've dated I regret letting one of them go, but the other got way too needy for me (and he lost interest in virtually anything I had to say but still expected me to be his girlfriend).

Overall they were all quiet, introverted dudes with various levels of awkward and neediness. I'm okay with the awkward, not so much with the needy.

Probably not. Maybe if I considered him a friend. If he was a random dude cold approaching me I'd be pretty weirded out (but that's mostly because part of me doesn't get why people'd want to talk to me).

Just tell him the right guy hasn't come along yet. Depending on how cheeky you're feeling wink emoji at him.

Did he freak out? Also, most people know better than take a love confession in the middle of sex with a grain of salt. If you're worried tell him you're worried, and while love isn't completely off the table of things you might be feeling, it was mostly driven by sex.

Guys go up in value the older they get. The rule of thumb is half your age plus seven, but it isn't hard and fast if you find someone younger.

How do I ask for my boyfriend to text me good morning / good night without being a whiny brat? He's a wonder and more than happy to respond if I say it first but like, it'd be really nice if he did it off his own back, y'know, I'm a fair bit younger than him and definitely a whiny brat at times so I'd like to avoid if at all possible.

In college I made it clear I was looking for a relationship from the get go, it put off a lot of women who "just wanted to find themselves"
If I could do it over again I'd still want the relationship just let them be the one to bring it up so they didn't feel trapped.
In my experience, once you sleep with her, she will bring up exclusivity pretty soon as long as you are not a clinger

Guys generally don't want to be an accessory to a girl, and girls are overall less successful than guys, so that's the reason why this happens to girls, and not to guys.

Moreover, generally speaking the divorce rate due to cheating is insane between a NEET guy and a successful woman. Guys just feel like they have to cheat to feel manly or something, so it almost never works out. A woman is much more likely to be okay with this sort of treatment.

Moreover, a woman very rarely considers a guy her personal object to bring around like this. Women care too much about feelings to ever be interested in this sort of arrangement from the other side.

Most feminists would consider this atrocious and an attack on equality.

>Did he freak out?
I was a little busy to notice his reaction tbf, I only realised properly about twenty seconds after too.
> most people know
Even people who've never slept with anyone else? Ngl I've never done anything like that before so I don't understand why anons are saying this is common. I'm definitely not gonna speak to him about it tho, that conversation would be worse than anything.

>Just tell him the right guy hasn't come along yet. Depending on how cheeky you're feeling wink emoji at him.
But that implies he also isn't the right guy.

>Most feminists would consider this atrocious and an attack on equality.
Shut up you tit. Feminism is so that not every goddamn woman has to live with living like that. If a woman wants to be a housewife or pocket girlfriend, that's completely fine, because it's her choice, but she should be able to make the decision for herself.

Oh, I missed this one.

I've always loved "adventurous" dates that involved exploring a place, or doing something silly like riding a bus to the end of the line, or trying something new. It's exciting, and you get to see the other person outside of an every day occurrence, even if it's just walking through a park or hiking down a trail you've never gone down before. Taking a class could count, even trips to places like museums, libraries, or botanical gardens could count. Carnivals and fairs and amusement parks definitely count. Even spending the date doing something like volunteering for your favorite charity could count.

Eh, possibly, but probably not. Though that's more to do with who my long term dude friends are than any objections to dating a long-term friend.

You don't have to be aloof, but you don't want to come across as desperate. Be upfront with your interest, but don't be blatantly obvious by drooling over a girl. Be confident, be decisive, and keep your insecurities behind closed doors.

Does that make sense?

I'd offer you a hug, but you might REEE at me.

Just ask him when you're face to face. Do the puppy eyes routine and be all "you know what'd mean a lot to me...?"

It was hard enough not to go on a huge rant about how much of a dumpster fire feminism is in the last thread, if you lads could put a sock in it.

It's a pretty common theme that pops up in certain kinds of media pretty often, so it's perfectly reasonable that he'll know better than to take it seriously. The odds of him knowing only go up if he's been exposed to a lot of guy friends.

Maybe find out if he's offended or worried about it first, since you said earlier that you do love him, just that you might not be in love with him.

I'm stating the facts, unfortunately.

I'm a girl, and I have very few friends due to living a life that my former friends consider degrading to women, and a submission to the patriarchy. You know what I do? I am engaged to a business guy I used to work for, and I am working as his personal assistant, accountant and schedule planner, and my master degree in finance is making this a cakewalk, because he is God awful at managing that stuff. And I'm having a blast, we are preparing and going for pregnancy soon, and have marriage scheduled in July. And somehow, some women find this "unworthy", and "a waste of my potential" due to my education.

Feminism isn't about making the choice yourself. Make the "wrong" one, and feminists will tell you that it isn't your wish, but rather forced upon you by the evil bad men. It's fucking stupid.

Okay, cool, media and shit. That's okay, that relaxes me a little, he'll definitely have been introduced to the idea then. Thank fuck.
>find out if he's offended or worried about it first
Not sure how I'm supposed to do that without acknowledging that I said anything, honestly. If it's not possible, that's fine, I just thought I was missing something.

You're literally using feminists as a bogeyman here. If those women weren't feminists (which I don't think they are, but that's a no true Scotsman argument), they'd still be passive aggressive, bitter cunts. And as pissy as they are, at least they gave you the right to work in the first place and make the decision and the ultimate sacrifice for your family instead of just "lol that's what you have to do so enjoy". No matter how people want to try and twist things, women or men, feminism start as and has continued as the ability to actually allow women to have choices they were outright denied previously.

>I'd offer you a hug, but you might REEE at me.
Well thanks I guess. Although I think women have many advantages that go unrecognised I don't hate them or anything, I know enough decent women to consider an umbrella disdain for the entire gender stupid.

Not the user you're talking to, but I'm happy for you user.

That's a theme I've often noticed with modern feminism; that it doesn't respect the individual choices that individual women have made.

>This would be ideal for the first couple of dates with a new girl you dont know?

Sure. The books provide conversation starters if we're both shy, or just bored and wanting to pass the remainder of the date time. If it's a brand new girl, we can agree to read and discuss on the date over coffee or whatever.

I'm a big fan of simple and guaranteed exits for both parties. No reason to put any expectations (apart from civility) on people when they have no idea what to expect as an outcome.

>You can't criticise a movement now because of what it did generations ago
I honestly feel the same way about unions. Both did great things once, but now mostly just serve to keep the apparatus going without much point.

You do realize it's a myth that women couldn't enter the workforce before feminism, right? Yes, certain careers were barred from them but that's not the same thing as a wholesale ban on them being in the work force. Hell, if I remember right there was a decent number of women even at the higher levels of Academia even in the 20's and 30's (whether women entered university or took career paths has always had more to do with their child bearing/rearing decisions than discrimination).

What feminism did was make it a requirement for women to enter the work force, not an option, user. There were a lot of women who were against the suffragettes, too, because they didn't want the right to vote if it meant they had to be subject to the draft or the volunteer fire service.

It's true, I don't disagree with you, user. I hope you find happiness regardless.

I never said you couldn't critise it, user, that's very dishonest. I'm pointing out the flaws in your critique. You're using sweeping statements that don't stand under scrutiny, unfortunately.

>t women couldn't enter the workforce before feminism
Nah, they just needed permission from their husbands or fathers, had no right to vote on their pay or the sectors they could work in, and we taught repeatedly that they'd never be as good as male counterparts so to drop out of the workforce as soon as it was baby time.
> feminism did was make it a requirement for women
That's why 100% of all women who aren't too ill to work are currently in the workforce, of course. Unless you're talking about the knock on socio-political capitalist issue that was caused by inflation of household income due to two earners, but that's a whole different box of frogs.
> they didn't want the right to vote if it meant they had to be subject to the draft or the volunteer fire service
So they're selfish cunts who will happily have people die for them but will give up their autonomy to not have to do the same? I'm not sure how that's supposed to convince me that they're right.

I'm not the first critiquer. Your first reply is my first word on the matter.
You got the vote, you got the jobs, you got legal equality, you won.
Now splinter factions go around causing shit about who can use what bathroom, or advocating that men should need their wives permission to get Viagra (this really did almost pass at state level on the east coast) and they carry your movements name.
I think that is why so many people are put off by it. Because all the dumb shit a small minority of your group does, without any moderates to dissavow it.

>Nah, they just needed permission from their husbands or fathers
This is such a blatant overexaggeration that people keep parroting for some reason. This was very rarely the case, and when it was, it was a sign of abuse, not the norm.

>That's why 100% of all women who aren't too ill to work are currently in the workforce, of course. Unless you're talking about the knock on socio-political capitalist issue that was caused by inflation of household income due to two earners, but that's a whole different box of frogs
Same as guys, so obviously not 100%.

But yeah, the standard is that women has to work, or you wont have a sustainable income on average. This is due to feminism, because if it wasn't for this, the average household income would never have skyrocketed as much as it has. This puts an increased pressure on both genders, ironically.

It's obviously best that everybody is capable of sustaining themselves, so it's still a net positive for the population that women gets an education and can work a good job if they have to.

>I'm not the first critiquer.
Okay. I never said anyone couldn't critise it, user, that's very dishonest. I'm pointing out the flaws in their critique
>advocating that men should need their wives permission to get Viagra
You realise this was done in backlash to women needing permission from their husbands to have their tubes tied? The whole point was it was a political turn-around on other legislation, it does have some nuance to it user.
>small minority of your group does, without any moderates to dissavow it
TIL that I am a feminist. I wonder if when I defend men's reproductive rights, do you think I'm an MRA? Also moderate feminists disavow crazy feminists all the time, it's why MRAs repeatedly crow about feminist infighting. I'm starting to eel like you may not have done your research and are just parroting things you've been told, user.

It's quite common for me to love the idea of sex with a random man. Not just particularly cute/handsome men either. I have never had casual sex with a stranger and while I don't 100% rule out that it will happen at some point I have never yet been in a situation where it was tempting for me.

The thing is when I fantasize about sex with a man I see I fantasize about having sex the way I love it. That doesn't have to resemble the sex I could actually have with him. It doesn't matter how handsome the man is, if he instantly started pulling off my pants to put it in or something my desire would be gone. This is a big factor for me, more than potential danger or something. I can imagine enjoying sex with someone I don't love but I can't imagine enjoying sex with someone I have zero chemistry with, no playfulness no trying to spoil each other, just going through the motions.

>it was a sign of abuse
There is 0 evidence for this, unless you've got some hidden away. We have lots of historical writing that confirms the fact it happened, not that it was only down to abuse.
> obviously not 100%
Right, which makes it not a requirement. So if women were working before feminism, why do you think that was? People have always needed a sustainable income on average, that hasn't changed at any point, just the ability to do so and how.
>he average household income would never have skyrocketed as much as it has
This is true, but you have capitalism just in hand to blame for that as much as feminism unfortunately.

You won't have issues finding girls who want to date you in that age range - though it's not as universal a stance/preference as internet can make it seem - but it's going to be harder to find a girl in her early twenties who is honestly looking for marriage in the near future and ready for the commitment instead of daydreaming about the Instagram fantasy of young kids.

If they wanted to be nuanced wouldn't a vasectomy be the analog and not an actual medicine that helps cure a problem?
Is punishing a third party really something you support?
I read a fair amount of news and have not seen radical stances called out by moderates, nor did I back in college.

How do i start giving compliments/flirting without acting like a creep.
In my mind I have to do it gradually and I am currently sitting at 0.
Why 0?
Well 2 years ago I had a revelation and realised how bad awkward and overall creepy I acted. So I tried to make a change. And I did, lost all the extra weight become more confident more outgoing and all that stuff
But at the same time I also closed myself to any romantic relationship as I felt I wasn't worthy.
Well nowadays I still don't feel ready but I do feel like I could start the process by training myself to give some compliments and try to flirt here and there

Suggestion how not to be creepy ?

I have several male friends I've been friends with for that long and I would not consider a potential relationship with any of them. If the potential had been there it would've long crossed my mind. Obviously I'm very fond of them but I want a specific kind of compatibility in a relationship, feeling like you're on the same wavelength.

Besides I feel being friends in itself changes things somewhat. One of my male friends was someone I had a crush on back when we were teenagers. I still think he's cute, sweet, if we've been drinking and he comments something that implies I'm (sexually) attractive I feel flattered and fully comfortable with that, but the idea of actually being in bed with him has become very weird. It just doesn't have a place within the bond we have, we have spent years fostering a sort of playfulness and casualty, not tenderness and emotional confessions, nothing related to romance or erotic tension.

>vasectomy be the analog
I'd think so too, desu, but the logic I was given was "if women are for babies and men are for getting women pregnant, then if you take a woman's right to choose to not have babies you take a man's right to choose to get laid". I'm not saying it's flawless, but to turn around and act like women were doing it because they legitimately wanted it is silly and makes you look like you don't know what you're talking about.
>Is punishing a third party really something you support?
Of course not, and neither do they. The whole reasoning was to have a big political outrage about how ridiculous a concept it was so that they could turn round and go "but you do the same". It would never have passed, that's the entire point.
>radical stances called out by moderates,
Okay, so read better news and associate with better people. All I see is (fairly good natured) debates between people of severely differing opinions even when they "agree", so I can only assume you're in something of a bubble.

>going out tonight
>plan was originally for me and 4 friends to go see a movie, and then go to my apartment and have a sleepover where we would game all night. People are me (girl), another girl, and 3 guys.
>one of the guys needs to stay at home due to his wife being sick, and he needs to help take care of his kid.
>the other girl is down with the flu
>the other guy needs to cover a shift due to 2 people at work being sick and unable to show
>that means it will be me and the only single guy in the group, going out to see a movie, and then going to my apartment to play video games, before him sleeping in my living room
This is going to be super weird, isn't it? How do I make this not weird? Could I get away with making this an actual date to make it less weird, and just let it take its course, and just play it off like that, rather than try to force some strange "totally normal friends night out" excuse, that likely will become super awkward?

We've unfortunately flirted a bit previously, but it's usually just joking around. Still, I feel like I'd rather just make it an actual date, just to get anything out of our system, either make it go away, or let something happen.

I dont feel like I can back out at this point, and he was the one who really wanted to see the movie, so he would rather not cancel it, since we wont have another chance if we dont go today.

Some women, yeah. I'm 23 and would never go for anything past 28

Do you actually want to date home or is lack of weird your goal?
You always end your post calling me uneducated or in a bubble. Is it your goal to alienate me and drive me from your cause with condescension, or has it not occurred to you that a person could disagree with you and not be uneducated?

>Do you actually want to date home
I dont know. But this is mostly a problem because we've had sexual tension before, and flirted occasionally as well, so I would like to try, just for one night, to see if it could resolve it.

>or is lack of weird your goal?
This is the goal, but I don't really care how that happens. I'd be fine with ending up actually dating him, just as I would be fine with this being a fun "pretend" date that ends with us having this chapter resolved.

Before you start ask if he'd like to make it a date since it's the two of you.

So if he tries to go for sex, what then? Would you still be game, or would that be too much?

I'd say playing the date card here is likely to make it more uncomfortable if you aren't ready for going all the way. This is a friend. You say you have flirted before. There is a risk he takes this as an invitation to have sex. Even if he doesnt do much during the day, when you are preparing to go to bed, there is a very real chance he wont let you sleep.

You are leaving the door open, so you need to be 100% sure you can stop this without making it worse, or can handle whatever happens.

Just make threesome

That sounds great
Woman that actually supports his guy and isnt just his hole to blow in (unlike those empowered feminists you speak of)
I wish i had someone like you that i could trust because we have common goal and strategy to reach it.

Wishing you best of luck

>27 year old incel
>for most of my teen and adult life I had one close friend and that was it
>140 lbs overweight
>hard alcoholic
>severe ADHD that went unmanaged and untreated. Acted like an unhinged lunatic every waking second of my life
>had the impulse control and attention span of a 5 year old
>couldn't talk to a girl if you pointed a gun at my head
>Intelligent enough to join Mensa, you can imagine what kind of barriers that creates in social situations

>finally got sick of my life going nowhere
>8 months ago, came to Jow Forums and "ask the other sex" threads to seek help to turn my situation around
>went to see a therapist to manage my ADHD
>got on medication to put a hard stop on the unhinged lunatic act
>make lifestyle changes
>eat foods i make at home. Exercise for at least an hour every day
>dropped 70 lbs since November. about halfway done
>getting into combat sports to help me build more athleticism and confidence
>don't drink anymore, unless it's with friends and event hen I drink way less
>actually am able to save nearly half of my monthly income instead of blowing it on impulse spending. In a few months I'll have enough to get a much needed replacement for my beaten up car
>forced myself to start talking to more women
>at first it was akward and painful.
>and it still is but it is gradually getting better at it, one day at a time
>made friends with men and women who have similar social impairments.
>they think well of me. Hoping one of them has a friend of a friend of a friend that I might be able to find a date through
>but if I don't, then that's fine. I still value them as friends
>I'm not desperate about my situation as an aging virgin
>It'll happen at the right time and place with the right person
>I'm not in a rush, I can wait

There is hope after all...

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Im a guy and not with lot of confidence but

>complimenting girl on something she put effort into like hairstyle, nails, clothes is barely ever a bad idea
>if she finds you ugly / unattractive no matter what you say to her will be creepy, but best compliment ever if she is into you

Avoid word beautifull to not be a pajeet
It mostly comes down to point nr2 tho

I remember i said towards one cashier girl that always smiles to me very nicely that she has nice new haircut, just casually as she was handing me reciept, and she was almost floating in air it looked like

Research fasting as per snake diet on YT
You might even be able to drop medications altogheter

Yeah that was the idea.

Not sure, but... I've kinda had fantasies about him before, so I dont think it would be hard to accept it, assuming the date overall went well.

What?

>what exactly am I supposed to work on to make this feel less problematic?
So all those things you just describes are the symptoms of low self-image.

For example, if you believe that yes, perhaps you're unattractive, but you have lots of hope, desire, and believe in yourself; then you'll act in different ways when opportunity presents.

Like in this case, you might instead of feeling scared and worried, pushing him away, you might feel relieved and happy that you finally found a good man for you, and pull him closer.

Another example, maybe instead of focusing on your looks as a problem, you accept that he sees the goodness in you and knows that's more important. So you pull him closer, you'd feel happy.

These are all just symptoms. But how you see yourself is the cause. It's very important to have a positive-self image. Doesn't mean impractical, only positive.

To get it, I suggest working on:
-Things you can control. Vice/virtue/cleanliness of your home/quality of your friendships. All these things are important and within your control
-Not on things you can't control. Know how beautiful you realistically are, then just take all the cards life gave you and spend them well. It's always a waste of energy to stress over the uncontrollable.
-Find hope. Usually it's within yourself. But if you have the right friends, they can give it to you as well. Always see the glass as half-full and grasp at opportunity. It's better to be an optimist and wrong, than a pessimist and right.
-When you feel these negative symptom thoughts, just observe them, don't push or pull them. Distance yourself from these thought by thinking "it's ok to have negative thoughts come and go. There is one. hello. goodbye." very gentle. The less attention you give them, the sooner they're gone.

Also babies. If you're a NEET then he knows you're very comfortable being home all the time. He wants kids, femanon.

Your comment was nonconstructive and rude.

I like sitting by the river with a girl drinking wine.

>Suggestion how not to be creepy ?
Creepiness is in ambiguity. It means your words or actions could mean more than one thing. Especially when one thing is innocent, and the other is sexual.

You can fix this by being more direct and shameless when you flirt.

>So all those things you just describes are the symptoms of low self-image.
Buddy, she has schizophrenia. This
>Like in this case, you might instead of feeling scared and worried, pushing him away, you might feel relieved and happy that you finally found a good man for you, and pull him closer.
Isn't a choice she is making, and it isn't connected to her self esteem. She is afraid of being locked up on a cellar and get killed. That's not a self esteem issue she is having.

I'm avoided responding because at the end of the day, she got the response we can give her. There is plenty of things he can see in her, and that's all that matters. Your post implies her debilitating mental disorder can be fixed by a simple change of mindset. That's not how this works. I've worked with a schizophrenic before, and we recorded the conversations, and he would sometimes go quiet, stop the conversation, pause the recording, rewind, listen to something I said a few times, and the continue. Because where I might have said something very simple and not at all negative, he managed to hear something entirely different I never said, so we recorded everything so he could confirm that he was hearing things again.

She needs to overcome that irrational fear, but that's not something we can help her with here.

Despair poster.

You guys are the worst posters on this board, think about it.

You are a man. Entering an ADVICE BOARD; then proceeding to SPREAD DESPAIR; and even worse acting self-righteous about it.

You are the worst scum of this board, lower than all the trolls, tripfags, everything; I cannnot comprehend what makes someone log onto an ADVICE BOARD and proceed to tell people to give up hope. It's always a lie, there is always hope, humans do amazing things and overcome the biggest obstacles.

You are the worst, you are wrong. Delete your post and leave.

I know the expression "misery loves company" but go try and find friends elsewhere.

Uhm... thank you, but I was mostly concerned with what reasons he had, not my own self image... I know what my problems are, but as long as my meds aren't solving it, I can't do much to stop it. I just need some ideas to cling onto and tell myself, when the fear of him being a crazy killer emerges.

Not sure how well of a mother I would be, but I guess I might be able to deal with that. I would probably feel more useful than I currently do, honestly.

I should probably confirm with someone that my state is not too bad to be fit for it, but other than that, this would probably be okay.

>we recorded the conversations, and he would sometimes go quiet, stop the conversation, pause the recording, rewind, listen to something I said a few times, and the continue. Because where I might have said something very simple and not at all negative, he managed to hear something entirely different I never said, so we recorded everything so he could confirm that he was hearing things again.
Oh my gosh, this is genius. I have so many problems with this, and this would be such a huge help. I'll definitely try this.

That said, my original question was because I couldn't see any reason for him to go for me. I am not good with guys, so my own assumptions are shut down way too easily... it helps a lot to hear good reasons from guys here. Gives me some fuel to power through the catastrophic thoughts in getting, because they just seem too real when they happen, and it is very difficult to ignore it when it happens.

>proceed to tell people to give up hope. I
What the fuck are you talking about? Did you read anything, or are you too stupid to understand basic English?

I did not tell her to give up hope. I didnt even address her. I wrote to YOU, that WE, Jow Forums, can't help her through her mental disorder. She has professional help to work on that.

She needs to understand what a guy might like about a relatively unattractive NEET. That's all we can help her with. That's not telling her to give up. That's the opposite.

You're a massive fucking idiot.

Ive read the post wrong disregard it

die, despair poster

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Go to metal concert, have fun there shouting and headbanging, then go for a walk sit on bench cuddle to warm up go home and cuddle some more even warmer

Also holding hands (im a freak like that)

What do girls think of men who are virgins 20 or older through no choice of their own?

A lot of girls say they don't mind a guy being a virgin but always add that "it's okay if a guy wants to wait for someone special". I didn't want to wait for someone special, I don't give a shit about saving myself for someone, I would gladly have lost my virginity at 16 but no one has ever even wanted to kiss me. What do girls think of guys like me?

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