The doctor is in!

Isn't she, like, 14? What's she doing with udders like that?

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I guess the next logical question is:

what is love?

It's likely we have two different definitions of love and I am more than happy to discuss our differences.

Love yourself first.

Have fun with your friends. Do interesting shit on your own.

What you're wanting is dependence. Do you really want your happiness to dependent on something as fickle as a woman?

You tell me what love is, I already know. Romantic love between 2 people.

What are some high quality questions? Aren't I putting them on the spot by asking questions and making them answer?

I offer email counselling but that's paid. If you want help you can post on here for free

how do i get over my body dysmorphia? i'm working on improving a specific part of my body, but i have a long way to go and it's practically impossible for me to leave my house due to how i feel

> I already know.

Love as defined by the masses is simply just attachment, a neediness, a dependence, aka recipe for disaster. Love, true love, is free. It doesn't grasp, nor cling, nor attach.

>Where are you from?
This is practically the gateway question to a lot of things that could lead to a lot of conversations. Gotta listen and respond to what they say.

>What are your plans for the future?

Anything that involves more than a yes or no.

This is out of my league, sorry user

Thanks but what if I know their answer to these questions?

Know what city they're from, where they've lived, about their family

I know what their current plans are (2-3 years out)

Am I supposed to keep bringing these topics up? I feel like I've asked enough about these topics

Why does that mean in terms of 2 people? What are the ingredients for a loving relationship? So far you have said nothing but shit platitudes

>Why does that mean in terms of 2 people?

Basically, if you can do all the lovey-dovey shitt you do, with accepting that things will eventually change (i.e. they leave, you die ,etc) without feeling pain and suffering then that is true love.

>What are the ingredients for a loving relationship?
The usual. Sexual polarity (masucline/feminine energy), appropriate attention, and non-attachment (being able to stand on your own, being happy without them, not relying on them for your happiness).

Do fun shit together, see what comes up.

Just be playful and funny when the deep ones are out of the way.

You think love is not feeling pain when they die? Again you’re an idiot.

Non attachment is not love. It’s being attached and being free. It is dualistic.

You have no clue what you’re talking about, because you have never felt love.

Dr. Strangelove, how do I get over my fear of sleeping with men? I was raped by my father as a little girl and I have fallen in love with men before, but am unable to bring myself to sleep with them because of this fear. I'm worried that I won't ever find a husband to settle down with because of this one thing.

You also don’t need sexual polarity, or power at all. Having power means you don’t have love.

Based post but one that will probably only trigger the people who need it most.

I'm in a honestly good and positive relationship that drives me forward with the perfect man but when he's not available I flirt on twitter with guys who are similar to him, I say I like them and sometimes I say lewd things. No pictures of me or anything that's even real, I just do it to kill loneliness and get an ego-stroke out of it. Am I scum? How do I stop?

I’m guessing you’re some kid getting a psych degree and have no real clue about the depths of the human condition.

To know true love is a sublime life changing experience. You just don’t know kiddo

I'm not the Doctor but please know that you're worthy of love, you can heal and overcome this fully and that everything will be okay.

It’s wrong and stupid. You honestly think people in love won’t feel pain when their loved one dies? Just stupid

A lot of children of abuse have issues with intimacy. A caring partner will understand, take it slow and know you will have pain and flashbacks, it might take some time. Intimacy can be expressed in many ways, sex is one.

But I like to be attached to people I love.
Anyways, tell me about this self-love thing, because I absolutely hate myself right now.

>love is not feeling pain when they die?

You will feel pain, but it wont consume you.

The attitude that you should have is, "thank you, I know it was gonna end eventually".

>Non attachment is not love.

Again we have two different definitions of love.

>It’s being attached and being free.

Two contradictory statements.

>because you have never felt love.

I have felt what I thought to be was love. But love doesn't leave you empty and hollow when they leave/die. Love is free my friend, not attached.

I guess sexual polarity has more to with attraction, which is required in the beginning stages. It's not necessarily power rather accepting that men and women are attracted to each other's strengths (the man likes femininity, the woman likes masculinity).

There's actually no power involved, that is over someone, only over yourself.

Honestly, this has to do more with trauma recovery than anything.

But my advice to these types of questions is to NEVER do things you're not comfortable with. Of course, you should tell them what you are willing to do up front. Trust takes time. Healing takes time. But as far as my advice goes, it only scratches the surface of trauma recovery.

All the best/

It's definitely not faithful.

How do you stop?

By literally stopping. But really, just cut the twitter flirts out, or if you want to continue, then continue in an honest way and tell him but that comes with the risk of losing him.

>To know true love is a sublime life changing experience

i agree with you but we have different definitions of love.

youtube.com/watch?v=6kUoTS3Yo4g

It's very against the grain. The mass media would have us believe that we're in love if we suffer without their attention and their presence. That is a recipe for disaster. True Love is free.

>But I like to be attached to people I love.

Then be prepared to hurt when they go!

>self-love thing

Doing things that improve yourself, like pursuing your hobbies, your career, your state in life, improving your body and mind, that is self love.

Basically, you're dating yourself and treating yourself like your own child.

Doesn’t really matter what you say, you just don’t know. You have never been in life and don’t understand it.

You are just parroting the concept of love as others understand it, but you don’t understand it because you have never felt it

That's okay. Youre free to do and believe as you wish

I will continue to learn how to love without attachment.

How do I deal with the silent treatment? I feel like I might literally die.

Tell me more. What caused it, what did you do when he/she started going silent?

In any case, silent treatment is very immature and if it's done consistently i would just leave them as it's not worth being in a relationship with someone who uses their attention/communication (which unironically the way to fix things) as a weapon.

Not him but the non attachment serves two purposes. One is not hurting so much when they leave but that part is a small beneficial side effect.
The main use of non attachment has to do with her perception of you. Have you ever seen how a woman's reacts to someone that is clingy or compliments them too much? They usually lose interest if they had any in the first place. Women like to date up.
The good news is her perception of you is based entirely on how you treat her and how you act around her. If you are getting too attached, she will sense it, and slowly fall out of love with you. The longer she likes you the longer it takes her to leave but it will happen.
Not getting attached keeps her perception of you high.
It sounds kinda shitty but keeping a girl in love with you is all about her thinking youre better than she is. If you can do that she won't ever leave you or cheat.

Dated gf for 3 years. Come home and gf slept with another guy for $150. Found out and confronted her. She cried crocodile tears and said it won't hapoen again. About a week later she's asleep and I'm going through her phone and she had messaged her mom saying she's going on a date with a Tyrone "because fuck user". I told her to leave and not come back. She drained my bank account two days ago. Can't pay rent now. She wants to move back in. I had a kid with her, and she holds our child over my head saying "she's going to think we don't love her because we split up". Am I a cuck for thinking about staying? Wat do?

Very tough situation when the kid is involved. First of, the kid comes first. Her staying or you staying with her is just a big no. This woman has violated trust and loyalty, she clearly knows nothing about such concepts and is such, not worth your attention and love.

But the idea to stay with her for the kid's sake is also wrong. You're there for the kid, not her.

I don't know much about custody laws, but try to see if you can arrange things where you get to see her for x amount of time, and she sees her for x amount of time.

>Am I a cuck for thinking about staying?

Yes, if you stay with her. You're priority is the kid now. This woman is a menace, she's not worth your love dude.

This.
But it seems like you like her and don't want to leave her. That's fine too. The best practice is to never let her see you sweat. This goes back to non attachment. You shouldn't be reacting to her, make her react to you. If she wants to be immature and not talk to you, go on with your life like nothing is the matter. Don't contact her at all. If you havent messed it up to much by being clingy beforehand she will break the silence first. When she comes back don't be a bitter fuck. Accept her back and act like it was no big deal. This sends the message that her childlike behavior didn't have the desired effect. Don't reward bad behavior.

What are the most effective things I can do this summer to improve my chances of getting a gf? I'll be starting my Master's degree at a new university in a different city this September. During the summer, I'll be spending the majority of my time at my cottage. While there, I'll basically only interact with my family and won't have any Internet outside of the limited shared data that will be absolutely drained by my mom and sister. I've spent the last four years absolutely studying my ass off and it feels like a waste to spend the only free time I've had in years in a place where I have zero chance of meeting available women when that has been and continues to be a major goal for me. What can I do in the meantime (I'm already working out)?

If you wanna stay with her this guy's advice is spot on

Will you be spending 100% of your time there? If not then you can go to plenty of places to meet women. I like art galleries and small concerts.

And who's to say you won't meet your lover in the cottage country?

Love is like death, user. You never know when it will come. All you have to do is be open, charming, and fun.

>Will you be spending 100% of your time there?
How much time I spend there is, technically, up to me. However, it's one of those situations where my family will be very disappointed if I don't spend as much time as possible with them. And then they've also encouraged me to travel. But the thing is, there's nowhere I want to go. They've suggested so many different things that no matter what I do, I'll be playing into some plan they have for me. I've spent so many years trying to make these people happy that, finally given the freedom to choose, I don't really know how to want anything.
>And who's to say you won't meet your lover in the cottage country?
There are two types of people in cottage country. There's old money and new money. My family are old money. All their friends are senior citizens whose families have become inverted pyramids, driven by the apathy of the wealthy and its ability to enable human dysfunction. Every summer I've spent there (and this wouldn't be the first), I never meet anyone my own age.
>All you have to do is be open, charming, and fun.
People say I'm exceptionally charming, but not very much fun and not open at all. I'm basically looking for activities I can engage in to help remedy this.

Is it ok to let her swallow after giving you head ?

im scared of intimacy and talking to girls, fix me up doc

Hey Doc.
I have self-reliance, self-love, and non-attachment. My girlfriend is constantly frustrated at my "detachment". Based on your definition of love, the one willing to let go, accept the future, things like that, I'm at a loss.

What do I do?

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Once a girl gave a wake-up bj with swallow

Best day of my life (it was more or less 1200 days ago, yeah, I still think about that)
The day before that, she gave me head, I came on my own belly, because just I wasn't sure I could cum in her mouth, and she licked it from there.

I get very bored when I meet women and their only talk is the newest Marvel movie or a skin deep political jab (that I normally have to correct with some facts). Do you know any good way of meeting smart women? It's not like I can hit on them (not much at least) during corporate events.

>be khv
>been working at place for 3 years
>girl who has been there for a while begins to show interest
>go on a couple dates, begin developing feelings for her
>find out she's a complete thot and realize I've been oblivious to her intentions
I'm conflicted on what to do here. I think I'm too sensitive for this casual sex stuff. Should I just give in and try to have fun?

But I want to approach them randomly

She just recently turned 17 but yes she's been like that for a while now

She's already very... plush. Gonna hit the wall hard in a few years

I want to be in a relationship where the woman is dominant. I fantasize about it all the time but it seems like a big thing with that is seeing how the male emotionally responds to that kind of love. The problem is I just can't do it around other people. I get defensive and a little aggressive because I don't know any other way to respond. I can't even blush my skin is too dark for it to be noticeable. How do I deal with this?

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Are you the woman?

No, I'm the male

Yeah okay, just be prepared for a lot of rejections. I think it might be good practice for you as well.

Good luck!

Just pick me a random spot in your city first. Just get out there user.

>People say I'm exceptionally charming,

That;s a good start.

>not very much fun and not open at all.

Honestly, just get out there. The more you socialize the more you have an image that you create for yourself. The more you do this, the more you become more consistent. Go to cooking classes, or anything you find fun. You'll find your people there.

As for being open, not thinking and going more into your feelings and having the attitude of "letting things unfold" and "come what may" will help. This will take mindfulness, and meditation will help with this.

Exposure therapy is the go-to for anything related to fear.

Once you get over your fear of girls by exposing yourself to a lot of them, that is talking to them and just flirting and building little rapport with them, intimacy will come naturally. In fact, if you develop deep enough friendships and relationships with anyone, intimacy naturally follows.

Keep in mind, you don't have to be physical to be intimate. Sharing your secrets, fears, and your life is very intimate, and should be reserved for your closest mates.

Don't confuse non-attachment with lacking passion. You need to court her, continually, and keep those fires burning.

I don't know what you did to get her, but you need to be the man that she fell in love with. Try more, listen more, and spend more time with her!

Unfortunately this is a matter of sorting through apples. It's a numbers game. But timing and setting does help. You're more likely to meet cerebral women in places like tech conventions, book readings, conventions like Ted Talks, etc. But be open and be on the look out, they're everywhere.

You're asking me if you should have fun?

Yes! Be playful, charming and fun.

If youre too soft for casual sex, then bail. But really user, I think this thing with your thottie might help you, give it a shot and gain some experience points.

>The problem is I just can't do it around other people.
> How do I deal with this?
By not giving a fuck

Is there any way for me to get over my gf cheating in a past relationship?

Wow, how insightful I wish I had thought of that

That's a you problem, really.

I personally wouldn't stand for it. But if you've got compassion, then you can try to get over it. However, she has to be the one to rebuild that broken trust. Don't for once think that it's on you to repair what she broke.

Yeah that's the predicament. She's fun, but far from girlfriend material. I feel like I might be betraying myself by going for this and end up getting too attached to the girl. I was hoping to find a more serious relationship to do this in.

I had a baby with a Thai woman, and our daughter is now 3 months old. I care about this woman but I do not love her because we are not native speakers in each others' languages, so communication is much more limited than it normally would be.

She makes for an excellent mother to our child, but she doesn't have many hobbies outside of cooking. How do I proceed to end this relationship?

Part of my unrest is that I'm 28 and I've never had a stage in my life where I went and had lots of casual sex with different women. I feel like I have't lived because of that.

>I was hoping to find a more serious relationship to do this in.

So you know what you want. Leave the thot then.

>How do I proceed to end this relationship?

Damn dude, the kid makes so much more complicated.

But I wouldn't advise you to stay if your heart is not in it.

Just sit her down, and tell her what you feel.

But in this talk you have to consider the child more than her. That way she knows you're not abandoning the child (you aren't right?). Make plans with her on how you will do the custody dance with her. Be gentle, understanding, and strong and firm.

Thanks for your reply. The main problem is that I currently live in Thailand with my gf and she doesn't have a long-term visa for my country.

So my dilemma is either: I break off the relationship and risk not seeing my child again or perhaps seeing her once per year. Or, I try get my gf a long-term visa to my country that entitles her to work. Once she settles, I can then dump her but keep seeing my child more regularly.

The second choice seems better but it also means continuing in an unhappy relationship for another 2 or 3 years most likely.

Doc, I'm with her almost every day. We go out for food all the time, and when she's over I'm rubbing her back and all that.

It's when she starts getting upset about something, which is honestly every single day, that I just try to keep level headed. But then if I don't, it'll turn into anger and explosion. It's because she complains or is unhappy so much, I feel like I just can't win.

You love this child? Option 2 is probably the best one here. You don't have to be in a relationship with her. Keep her as friend at most. Get her on her feet. But damn... tough situation user.

All the best

Thanks, doc.

How long have you guys been together?

You just gotta be that ear for her. I know people like to complain and it bogs the spirit down, but if you think its worth it then just lend an ear.

>she starts getting upset about something

At you or just in general?

Both. Sometimes it's a thing like me being in a call with friends instead of her and her being upset when I don't even do that more than once a month

Sounds like headache.

Is it worth it?

I haven't been intimate with anyone since I left my ex by the end of 2014.
I feel like relationships have become "been there done that".
I don't think anything about myself is attractive anyway.
Significant negatives: I'm short at 5'4''/164cm, tiny 5.5inch/14cm penis, fat and trying to lose weight, unintelligent, zero interest for worldly things like news and politics, I've been depressed and lonely for many years before I even met my ex. I have almost no friends at all and I'm not worth being friends with.
Undecided if negative or positive: I'm easily amused, easy to make laugh if comfortable, my humor is puns/sarcasm/dad jokes and almost nothing is too mean or offensive but I quit and apologize if it's unappreciated, I easily get turned on despite being depressed, I value appearance and hygiene a lot, I am very good at faking empathy and sympathy but I haven't actually cared for many years, talking in a friendly tone with absolute strangers is natural and easy even if I quickly have nothing left to say. I love being lazy and comfy, and with my ex we spooned pretty much any chance we had.
My positives: Maybe something above if I change my mind. Otherwise I'm utterly worthless.

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Say doc, part of me yearns for a girl to be with, exchange stories and whatever stuff happens in a relationship, but my rational side wants none of that, how do I tell my heart to shut up and stop trying to make me change my mind?

You still haven't defined love as you see it. Saying that "love is free and doesn't attach" and all that isn't a definition. See, you can't even define love without attachment, let alone make a case for it existing.

Why should I date a woman who spend her twenties having casual sex? I’m 30, and I’ve only had 1 gf before. I never had casual sex (by my own choice). I think it’s disgusting to just use other people’s bodies and ignoring risks involved.

What was your question?

Anyway I’ve seen way worse stats pull girls. It’s all in the mind, fix the mind the rest will follow.

Sounds like your indecisive. Reflect if this is what you really want. Whatever the outcome put your heart and mind into the decision.

All the best

How do I get a gf despite having chronic disease, no friends, being disabled, poor and a dateless hugless kissless virgin?

I’ve seen homeless deadbeats with girlfriends.

Fix your attitude user

Pls respond

What do you think my attitude is?

All of those you mentioned can be turned into positive, depending on how you see or sell it to people

You’re asking why? Because it’s fun.

If that’s not what you want then you gotta through apples and fine the one want

It’s fun to date women who were had sex with ma

Holy shit

>sort through apples
>find the one you want

Early mornings

Please tell me on how you can turn anything about mentioned points into something positive.
>having chronic disease, being disabled
Not something I chose, unfortunately it renders me immobile among other things and is uncurable. Makes me dependent on wellfare in order to survive.
>poor
Unfortunately my diseases caused occupational disability. I can no longer work.
>no friends
Social deprivation and sociatarian exclusion
>dateless hugless kissless virgin at the age of 27
apparent ineptitude at social or interpersonal interactions, lack of experiences in those areas compared to similary aged. Discrepancy most likely so great that compensation is impossible

Since this seems to be a dating general can I get opinion on this