How do I break up with the (Asian) mother of my kid?

Bit of a cluster-fuck of a situation I've got myself into. I've lived in Asia for the last 4 years. I entered into a relationship with a local girl despite the fact that neither of us are fluent in each others' languages.

I stayed with her because it was fun and because I was escaping from my own problems back home.

Anyway, it got to the point last year where i was ready to move on from her. I care about her but I don't love her. And it's tedious not being able to talk deeply about anything.

I made the foolish choice to have unprotected sex one around June last year though, and the result is I now have a kid with this Asian girl.

My Asian gf makes for a great mother. I tohught I would hate having a kid but I actually quite enjoy it.

The difficulty is how the fuck do I break up with the mother of my kid without never seeing my kid again? If I dump her now, I'll have to pretty much stay in Asia for life if I want to see my child regularly.

If I continue my relationship with this girl, there is a very strong chance she will be able to get entry into my country on a visa that entitles her to work. She would be inclined to stay because the money is much better there, and I'd thus have access to my child in my own country.

So, what should I do? Dump her now and resign myself to likely not seeing my kid much, if ever unless I permanently move to Asia.

Or should I continue in an unhappy relationship for 2 or 3 years until we are all settled in my own country, then dump my gf?

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What the fuck is wrong with you? You began another life with responsibilities in a faraway place, regardless of initial desire for "fulfillment" or "finding your self" or whatever else bullshit you use to justify this sort of thing. You think its okay to impregnate someone (in a place where abortion isnt the norm) and leave once you're bored?

You're no better than the lazy and irresponsible pieces of shit who leave single mothers within US inner cities

You sound like a stupid manchild with an extreme case of ADD

Don't plan on leaving if my child can't come with me. I'd rather take the option that allows me to see my child. Plenty of relationships around the world break up every day between parents of kids, but my situation happens to be more awkward because you can't share custody with someone thousands of miles away from you.

Other than that, throw all the insults you can think of at me, I couldn't give a flying fuck.

Man up and take responsibility.

Is this an advice forum or a place for keyboard warriors to project? You don't stay in an unhappy relationship, and that is true regardless of whether your partner is from a couple of blocks away or timbuktoo.

So you define responsibility as staying in an unhappy relationship then? What's manly about that?

So you didn't want the child but now you wanna take the child away?

This is why it's pathetic to see guys flocking to Asia desperately looking for gfs because they never realize they are getting girls that needed to flock to foreigners. She can get you deported and you'll never see the kid.

I suggest bringing him to the US for a "better" life. You actually seem mature considering you didnt hurl any insults back at me lol

In no circumstance did I mention that taking the child away is an option. The two options are:

1) dump my gf but stay living in Asia so I get access to my kid.

2) take both gf and kid back home, get gf a visa that entitles her to work. FDump her after we settle in my home, continue getting access to my child.

She can block you visiting rights as well as leave your country later. You can't get the solution you want. That's the consequences of this.

What I meant is take the child with you.
However, If you really care about your child. Raising children with separated parents is gonna be tough. Tendency are that your child might grow up with problems

>However, If you really care about your child. Raising children with separated parents is gonna be tough. Tendency are that your child might grow up with problems

Yeah, you're probably right. Oh well, I know I done fucked up. Who knows what the outcome will end up being. I will tentatively guess that I'll continue the relationship and end up having a mental breakdown in 3 or 4 years. Deserved on my part anyway.

Tell her straight up that you want to move back, take her and the child, and then plan on breaking up.

She will probably accept that, given she gets to come to a western country with a better life and a visa.

>western country
>better life

I might do that yeah but there is always the risk she will refuse to come to my country. Cost of rrent is sky-high where I'm from, so breaking up first would probably result in all of us living undeer the same roof with me on the sofa or some shit. Might be better off just continuing the relationship until we are somewhat settled in my country.

Look up what are the custody laws in there. See if that helps.
From my view, girl seems loyal and trustworthy. Maybe give it time and the relationship might spark up again after she gives birth

I just can't see the relationship sparking up because I have become disillusioned with her lack of hobbies. We share an interest in cooking and travel, but she pretty much just plays on her phone during any free time she has, such as when the baby is asleep. She's a great mother (our kid is 2 months old already), but she doesn't seem to want to better herself, to improve her english, learn something new, read a fucking book. Anything.

dude its probably going to be way better. let me guess user, she's from Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia, or Cambodia

Yep, one of those countries! I would have hope for the relationship but I also have an unfulfilled urge to hookup that I can't let go of.

I'm 28 and have never had that wild stage of life where you fuck lots of different girls. I feel like I need to have it at least for a few months.

From the looks of it, she is dependent on you.
Like she won in a lottery
But then that's the norm in some Asian countries. It really depends on the person.
Have you talked to her about this? I know you she is struggling speaking with you but it looks like she has taken you for granted. Did you make her fall for you so much it came to this? What were she like before conceiving the baby.

>Have you talked to her about this? I know you she is struggling speaking with you but it looks like she has taken you for granted. Did you make her fall for you so much it came to this? What were she like before conceiving the baby.


Haven't said a word to her about it. I am still confused by my own selfish urges to go out and have lots of casual sex, as if that will make up for the void in my life.

She's always been a good person. Very feminine, smiles a lot, gives massages when i've been working hard, cooks food for me.

But she is 6 years older than me. And she just doesn't seem to care about improving herself.

You are literally me about a year ago, minus the baby.

You fucked one woman which is more than many people can say. Consider yourself lucky in that regard, user.

I am religious, so I don't like fucking random girls because I feel like I'm taking advantage of them, especially asian women. In my opinion, its overrated. It's infinitely better to find someone you connect with, have fun with, and grow and learn about each other.

But just try my strategy user, I think it will work.

I also have a southeast asian wife (half chinese half filipino) and we are having a good life out here, no kid yet though.

pic related, us

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I dunno, I am 28 and have only fucked 2 women in my life. The current one and then a girl I genuinely did love when I was 18. but she dumped me by text after 3 years together and I never really got over that. Took solace in the easiness of finding a woman in Asia.

You are possibly right about casual sex being overrated but I guess my issue is that I have never had it so I can't find out for myself what I'm missing.

The way I see it, most twentysomethings are out there fucking plenty of people via Tinder and other dating apps. Those apps wouldn't be popular if you couldn't get laid from them and if it wasn't desirable to hookup.

Then you need to sort this and talk to her.
Make a gamble, like for example if she doesn't change then you'll leave her and take the child with you. Tell her face to face on the table. This will urge her so that she could keep the relationship with you. Pretty heartless desu
And your urges, control it.
Find other means to fill the void. You have a child now. Some can't have a kid. Other people would kill to be blessed with a child.

You have been lied to by the media, user. And probably by others.

Sex doesn't bring fulfillment. It will be cool and obviously fun for a while, but at the end of the day you'll feel empty and disgusted with yourself.

Degenerate behavior doesn't make you happy, it just makes you a degenerate.

>Degenerate behavior doesn't make you happy, it just makes you a degenerate.


I can definitely appreciate that perspective on it. But clearly casual sex is desirable by 99% of twentysomethings. Otherwise Tinder wouldn't be so popular. Hell, Jow Forums is inundated with men who are obsessed with sex and getting laid. Society is all about sex and more sex, especially the non-committal kind where you rack up numbers as notches to be proud of. I don't have any of the crazy stories most guys do about fucking some random chick on a night out or while in a strange country and never seeing her again. For some reason i've convinced myself that doing this would add value to my life.

user, you just revealed that you don't really want the sex, you want the validation from others and to feel like you are worthy and part of the in group. That's a bad reason to do anything, honestly.

Do you really want to follow the example of mainstream society and the average 4channer?

Honestly, I think the door is closed for you user in regards to having tons of sex with randos in Asia If you choose to be a responsible parent. Just accept it, and find meaning elsewhere.