I'm 27 and I have no friend group, no boyfriend, and I'm lonely

Please post your picture. It will tell us a lot about what's going wrong

Surely you don't want a relationship with all the people you go in a date with?
You mention only the other side, where are your preferences?

Fine. But I know it's absolutely not my looks that prevents me from making friends.

Attached: IMG_20190504_212534.jpg (1555x2073, 702K)

I only met one guy I wanted to have a relationship with me. He wanted that we go from dating to fwb. He wasn't chad, mind you, he was a chubby beta but i never got on with anyone else so well.

So why are you so upset that most people you date don't want a relationship with you?
You know first-hand how hard it is to find someone you like enough to want to be together with.
And why look for a relationship specifically?
I think what you're missing is a feeling of feel e connection with other people. Having people who understand you. You don't need to be in a romantic relationship with someone to have that.

So OP pic isn't you.
I assume you found that picture and thought "omg that's so me" but you still haven't posted your own face so even you know you're an uglier version of the OP pic.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and especially to your sister.
You have 1 responsibility in life - to be a better person than you were yesterday.

What the insane amount of light, think about the fucking environment.
And yeah, your looks aren't the problem indeed. Although you look a lot like my mom and the glasses don't help either. Should've find something that draws more attention towards your eyes instead to the overall profile. Longer hair without that shit to the side might suit better too ... but yeah, no real dealbreakers.

But basically work up from
>I have acquaintances, I have friends, I get invited to parties regularly etc.
And open yourself at least enough to make deeper connections with people. Connecting takes time and effort (or being stuck in crazy situation).

>I feel there must be something really wrong with my personality.
The self-esteem issues. The shit clearly taints your thinking. Reread your post again, there is almost nothing about you, just shit you don't have. Imagine trying to apply to a job with an attitude like that.

>When I'm around people I just usually sense that they don't like me and they navigate towards someone else.
And the fun thing is that people can sense THAT more often than not, so it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That's a lot of judging, my man.

I have no idea how to get a connection with even one person.

Just saw your pic and I can tell you're not attractive enough to hang out with the popular girls but attractive enough to lord over endless beta orbitters LARPing as a gamergirl/anime/cosplaying faggot.
Do this.
>tan
>ditch the hair dye everyone can tell you're a ginger
>stop playing video games/weeb shit
>buy gym membership
>grow the fuck up
Self pity isn't a substitute for a personality

Fat. Cat lady glasses, make-up, and facial expression.

Lose weight. If really OP, never fails.

be curious about other people

if you cant, then find a hobby.

>tan
Eww. Way to taint a decent post.

You've felt it before though, haven't you?
What was it about the relationship that made it feel special?

Also you may be expecting too much.
A lot of people also feel lonely despite being surrounded by people. Feeling a deep sense of connection with someone is very special and with most people you meet you'll always feel like something is lacking, like they don't truly understand you. The only person who can understand you fully are you.

Let's unpack this all.
The thing is, he's right: We have no info about your personality, interests, hobbies, desires, dreams, goals, or thoughts on the world. I wouldn't really agree with everything else he said.

Don't craft something. If it's gonna take a bit to think about it, then it's probably not genuine.

You need some fucking shit to make you as a person interesting. Don't live to impress; whores do that fine. Be an individual, have fucking opinions, ideas, and plans. Spontaneity can be wondrous thing. Explore new things. Articulate thoughts.

Otherwise, end up being as boring as dirt, with things and materialistic needs. Possessing things doesn't make you unique or cool; people are more interested in the thing than you. Make people care about you.

ALSO, FIX YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE GETTING A BOYFRIEND. A bf doesn't fix every problem. Don't try to transform yourself with a bf around, it might make the relationship shit.

Throw that into the mix above these lines.

What are your preferences?!? You still said nothing on this matter.

You need more things about you that are definitive.

I don't get it. In the internet people are forever telling me to lose weight (which I've started trying to do, btw) but irl when I tell this to other ppl, that I should lose weight, they always respond like "what the hell? You're fine, relax". Just funny.

I always talk about my interests openly, tho. I love meditation and buddhism, I love deep thinking and literature. I read nonfiction all the time, most recently The Tao of Pooh. Eastern philosophy in general speaks to me. Also I love getting lost in fantasy worlds. I hve tons and tons of books strewn about my room.

I love coding. I love the complexity and logic of it but I hate sometimes the non-logic loops it throws for me. Still the satisfaction of trying, failing and eventully succeeding speaks to me.

I'm going to be a programmer in order to work from abroad. I love freedom from routine and a changing daily lifestyle. Though I've also found that gym and more regular eating saves me a lot of stress. I like gym a lot, it feels good and empties my mind some.

People IRL know you better and are familiar with you, they have gotten used to your appearance and probably value your personality over your looks.
Strangers on the web don't know you at all and have mostly your looks to go on.
First impression is mostly formed by appearance so it would help to lose weight

Does this stuff come out on dates?

There's some other things. I used to talk about myself a lot, but I realized most people don't really care. I love solitary things, they're what I am used to. It's hard to connect based on those. And people stress me out really really often. I stress about a lot of things and am really high-strung anyway, and social situations make that worse.

It'd be pretty rude to tell you to lose weigh IRL, unless the person is someone close. On the webz, people don't give too many fucks about social ettiquette. Can't say you look fat on the picture though.

Yeah

You are objectively fat.

Both these guys are right: , >I love meditation and buddhism, I love deep thinking and literature.

I genuinely think you are a try-hard catlady.

What do you love about meditation? What kind of meditation? Why?

Why do you love Buddhism? What's the difference between being a Buddhist and being an ascetic? Isn't life meant to be experienced? What kind of Buddhism? They eight fold path or flying in the mountains and not eating any food?

>The Tao of Pooh

Did you read Buddhism for Dummies too?

>Eastern philosophy in general speaks to me.

Like what?

>I love coding. I love the complexity and logic of it but I hate sometimes the non-logic loops it throws for me. Still the satisfaction of trying, failing and eventully succeeding speaks to me.

Yea? What language? Can you actually code?

Here's a body pic.

I think i'm somewhat fat. Started working out, though, like I said and I'm liking it, so I think it'll stick.

Attached: IMG_20190504_224548.jpg (1088x2304, 658K)

I could go into detail, but it would feel like trying to prove myself to an asshole cross-examiner.

But hey thanks for invalidating your opinion in my eyes, it makes me feel better.

>But hey thanks for invalidating your opinion in my eyes, it makes me feel better.

The only thing you invalidated is your own pompous pseudo-intellectual bullshit.

Never said I was intellectual tho, I only said what I liked, which happens to be popular philosophy and science. Some might not approve, some might find it low-brow. Don't really care. Question answered.

There is clearly a belly but it's more of chubby than fat.

The answers might be helpful for the non asshole cross-examiner in the thread too.

Can we just stop being toxic? Props to anyone who genuinely wants to help this girl. You are not supposed to judge whatever she likes, just giving your opinion. If she's a buddhism try-hard or not is not on your business.

I can only tell you, be patient, like whatever you want, don't try to be so desperate about having some relationship... most of them are empty, just for the laughs. Good relationships born when we expect nothing. Just a little advice: Have you met anyone who really likes whatever you like? Have you ever been to a place where everyone is into what you are?

Don't worry, mah gurl.

To add, just see it as an opportunity to present your interests in a way that's also interesting to others. It's a decent skill to have. Maybe you just suck at talking about the things you like hence bore people and fail to establish a connection.

> If she's a buddhism try-hard or not is not on your business.

>person asks what about her is unlikable
>stating an answer is "not of your business"

Your grammar should be yours though.

Kay. I like mindfulness meditation right now, because it helps with anxiety. I like the mainstream western buddhism variety which has none of the mysticism and is based on science. Why Buddhism is True was a good book about the psychological basis of several buddhist doctrines like not-self, and in modern understanding the self is a construct built by the brain. I like to think of myself as just an amalgam of experiences and sensations, but I might not be there yet. Maybe never.

Coding, I know a good bit of java and can make simple programs and games like Asteroids and Tic Tac Toe. I'm a beginner yet, but learning as everyone has at some point. I'm also learning Python Javascript and React. I'm taking uni courses for all of these.

Also, honestly, I have no fucking clue where this lose weight shit is coming from. I'm not understanding why she's seen as having weight to lose, not that she seems anorexic, but it just seems like she's in that average deviation range from the norm/accepted weight area.

I just sawmakes the point as well.

That's all fine and good.
>but I realized most people don't really care
Yeah... that's where it seems like you gave up on it. "Most people" don't care about a lot of of shit, but "most people" are fucking boring shitheads. Everybody here could probably attest to some bland and boring shits without a deeper thought in their brain, wielding goals no higher than "sex is cool".

Yeah.... I'm still not seeing the "fat" accusations and its validity.

Here's the thing, I can understand the frustration at this type of method of asking questions, but an elaborated response would help to understand you better, leading to a solution that we can give.

Well, I think it might be how it's going to be talked about during a date.
When you talk do you make sure that the other person is able to follow along?

Laying it down straight, I would think you're a fairly attractive person (let's say a between a 5 and 7 out of 10). Your interests are there; I would be pretty on board with talking about fucking coding for a long while, but I think there's still some questions that would need to be asked.

Discerning who is more fun/able to talk to about these topics is a rocky little minefield. See

Thanks for your correcting, I'm a new person now.

Also, lol I'm not trying to sound smart, for anyone who thinks that. I think I'm pretty dumb actually and I no longer mind.

>can make simple programs and games like Asteroids
>asteroids
>simple programs

Yea? Post source.

I had been trying to focus more on discussing what the other person likes. I used to go on forever and ever about my own interests. Bt I'm so solitary that I hardly even follow social media, so what I like intersects not that often with what others like. EXCEPT for gym. I'm gonna pay for some personal training to learn ny shit even better and I'm looking forward to geeking out about that.

Here's the thing. You don't believe me, fine. I'm not gonna log onto my oc for you. I didn't post that for you. It's just more info for the other, nicer people in here.

I once met a guy who fucking loved the same songs I did and singing karaoke just like I do. He was also interested in what I liked and I liked what he liked. We could lie in bed and talk for 10+ hours. I was pretty happy for a while. I finally started coding because of him, and I'dbeen thinking of doing so forever and now it's finally stuck. And so has gym so far. But none of the people I loved have ever stuck in my life.

Also I wanna thank everybody ITT except for V, and sorry about annoyingly putting my responses in separate posts. Have a picture of my roommate's cat

Attached: IMG_20190504_232517.jpg (1775x1728, 990K)

And if she did that, you could still accuse her of taking it from somewhere else, which would turn into a stupid game of proofs.

The questions you asked were fair points, why presenting them in such a shitty tone?

She has never written an Asteroids clone. Anyone who knows even a bit of programming knows it's not a trivial project.

There is also quite a bit of trig and physics involved, which is all taught between 5th and 9th grade, but actually applying it is a different story.

Also, of course I wouldn't believe her, but I would believe her if she explained it sufficiently. As I said, she can't write Asteroids. It would take quite a lot of convincing to prove otherwise, though I would completely admit to being wrong and judging prematurely.

As far as "being shitty" - is it really so shitty to honestly answer a person's question?

You made up your mind already. I can't "prove" anything to you and I've no desire to try. Thanks for bumping.

Just asking for how she programmed it and what were the biggest struggles might've given the answer (or prove that she's full of shit, or created a half assed version of it) and actually offer some sample conversation. Doing it in an investigative/doubting way was always likely to shut people down. The only upside is that it also provided a sample reaction; which wasn't too constructive in the context of the thread and kinda too defensive too.

I'm a bit late to this one..
Ignoring the people who based their suggestions on your looks I'd say..
If you feel good exercising, good for you - so do I (though I am lazy). No point fitting your figure to what you think other people want.

Was it ever clear why you had troubles with other people? You have to accept no matter how awesome you are, not everyone will get you or like you - it's their loss.

Maybe when you try, you're trying to hard and getting put off from the lack of results?

You sound like a pretty cool person. I'd hang out with you.

Good. That sounds like your trying to improve yourself.

... Was that an invitation?