So how do I live my life knowing that:
No relationship is worth.
I will never reach supremacy.
Dopamine and serotonin are not enough.
I will never find satisfaction on my job.
Hedonism is vain.
I will never ever truly enjoy any hobby.
Existential self loathing is useless.
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grow up. you're probably just an underage fag
You don't know you merely believe that is all that matters.
>comparing to people this much
Graduate high school. IF you already did, go back and bring your fucking brain with you next time.
Hmm...me trying to tell you that you're wrong about all these things might be a waste of time.
What caused you to think this way?
I'm 23. I don't know.
I used to have many friends but I isolated myself because I felt everything was a waste of time and nobody would miss me anyway since I had nothing to offer.
I'm a bit younger than you, and I've actually done the same as you. a couple years ago I left all my friends behind in high school to go to online school because I felt as though they didn't care and I was depressed. it's one of my biggest regrets and I haven't talked to them since.
why do you think you have nothing to offer? friendship isn't about what someone can "offer" to the other. has any of your friends tried to contact you since you isolated yourself?
There's no such thing as "the right way" to live or to think or to do stuff, of course, sometimes there's the practical way, the factually correct way, etc. But if that works for everybody to stay healthy and satisfied is another story entirely.
Hope you can find some answer to that question of yours user, I think that this is a very introspective one.
Because I am a genuine failure as a person and a hypocrite despite the self improving since I was 19.
Yeah, three of them tried to contact me but I just kept isolating myself.
what makes you feel as though you're a hypocrite? surely you've achieved some things with your self improvement. you seem very self critical.
you should try to talk to them then, it clearly shows they care for you. you shouldn't let good friendships pass by you because you're undermining your own self worth.
I am very self critical because it's the right thing to do. I hate stupid people that can't help themselves because of their low level of self awareness.
I am a hypocrite because I'm always talking about honesty but I myself am a deceiver.
You sound immature OP. There's no point to anything in life, but you definitely won't enjoy it if you're dead-set on trying to be as negative as possible. You think this is an original feeling? Everyone deals with this stuff, the difference is they're self-aware enough to not annoy other people with it.
>So how do I live my life
In service to God, of course.
while i do agree it's important to be self critical, it shouldn't be to the point where you're making yourself depressed or diminishing your self worth.
perhaps you should start being more honest to others, and especially yourself. i think you seem to be holding yourself back.
Holding myself back on what?
On going to a monastery?
I just hate mundane things and responsibilities are not even great.
I'm not negative.
I already know I'm just another human struggling with his stupid problems.
Literally every single post you've made ITT is extremely negative.
Read the Book of Ecclesiastes. King Solomon goes through the same existential dilemma and begins to see everything in life, including pleasure and accomplishments, as meaningless and in vain. Eventually, he finds the key towards finding fulfillment in this seemingly meaningless life in the end. biblegateway.com
I can't believe I am being negative and not being aware of it. How am I being negative?
Take a look, every post you've made has a theme of, "I will never be good enough and nothing in my life will ever be good enough."
i'm not telling you to do something religious. if things are so mundane to you, search for things you enjoy doing. responsibilities are annoying but it's a part of life.
not him but you're really down on yourself. try telling me a few things positive about yourself? life doesn't have to be a dreary as you make it to be.
Everything we do is to cope.
To cope with the exact things you've mentioned, some are unfortunately more prone to think that way than others.
Nobody actually likes the end result, they love the journey.
Always got to have multiple long term tasks at hand to fill our brain with, so the little insects of nihilism don't crawl out of their holes.
You should find solace in the fact that everything is useless, should you not?
It's a sobering freedom.
I managed to fuck up permanently my longest friendships overnight, just a few days ago.
But now I am free of that commitment, just one less thing to worry about. Some people are terrified when they have to face loneliness.
I like isolation, most people don't.
Makes you less prone to fuck up, some would say I'm escaping responsibility, but what do they know?
I don't even know what to say. I'm not even sad.
I just want to develop self-discipline at this point.
Knowing that there is an end makes me comfortable. Solace and responsabilities are not the real problem, if there is a problem at all.
a huge part of self discipline is finding motivation and rewarding/being kind to yourself. focus on those.
Everything has a beginning and an end.
A lifetime is just multiple short journeys, all that will truly be left of you are stories.
So, you know...
Create a story, just for the sake of it.
There is nothing much we can do besides that.
Let's see what I can find.