I hate my boyfriend

oh no what a bastard

Bullshit isn't to be validated.
Women are oversocialized and live with excessive fear of peer judgement. For women the whole exchange has more to do with affirming that your social position is still safe given whatever prompted the exchange.
Men simply don't do this. Bringing up a problem is for fishing for advice or a solution.
Anyhow this isn't really a big revelation. There's like two chapters on this alone in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus if you really care to understand it.

You probably shouldn't worry so much about this hon.

Wait, he actually tried to comfort you and make you feel better? How old are you 14?

20 as of last week.

:(

No, your feelings are inherently important to YOU. No one else gives two fucks about your feelings, nor should they.

stop being a spoiled bitch. what was he supposed to do? beat up the worker? kiss your feet? what he said was good. learn to appreciate him

You hav a caring boyfriend and you are overblowing this OP. Just relax and smile..

Jesus talk about an non-issue

Lads I just want to hold a girl, why do go with men who don't care about them?

Holy fucking shit women are so dumb

yeah you guys are missing the point
"Why care about one person?" is code for "Your feelings are ridiculous and you need to stop feeling them." It also implies in a sense, even if my boyfriend hasn't yet demonstrated this behavioral pattern, that "I'll get angry if you don't get over your feelings immediately now that I have blessed you with my logic and shown you the 'proper' way to feel"

That's not fair. Not all women are dumb. This one specifically is, but not all of them.

No it doesn't. You need to get psychiatric help.

Why do you think OP is dumb? She's sensitive, but quite well-written and socially intelligent.

just break up with him so the poor guy doesn’t have to be together with a braindead person

>t. OP

no she’s stupid. open your eyes. just because she can write well doesn’t mean her brain works properly

Get some real problems

I still want to see her tits

If you don't want a guy to tell you how to fix a problem, don't tell him there's a problem.

Yes, she's so socially intelligent that instead of calmly explaining to her boyfriend that she just wants validation for her feelings, she's on a Mongolian animated pornography forum bitching about it.

okay whatever thanks

I should be able to feel free to express myself without being slapped on the wrist for it

Everyone only cares about this thread because you claim to be a woman

You should be free to express yourself, but your boyfriend shouldn't do what feels natural to him, huh?

>I should be able to feel free to express myself
Not if expressing yourself entails saying dumb shit for no reason other than being validated.

MEN DONT SPEAK OR UNDERSTAND CODES.

Just tell him openly

stop downplaying yourselves, men are every bit as capable of subtle and nuanced interaction. this isn't the 1960s you don't have to pretend that men are dumb apes

let me rephrase his statement: Most men have no interest in playing shitty mind games.

this is true but theres a difference between being not understanding women and not caring about their stupid feelings

ironically they tolerate the latter and get furious about the former

t. regulary make fun of gf when shes expressing her cuntish feelings

Regardless of your reasons if you actually hate your boyfriend then you shouldn't be with him. From the sound of it he'd be better off without you anyways

How did you want him to validate your feelings?

Sounds like he's tried pretty hard to make you feel better you dipshit. Seems you're the one lacking empathy.

>it's code for..
No it fucking isn't.

Hey OP, let me start by saying that what you're posting about sounds pretty rough to go through. I've been on both sides of this sort of thing before, so maybe I can help.

What might be happening here is a clash of upbringings; a LOT of men are raised to be unemotional, and not let things affect them, and by doing so, let problems just roll off their back or be directly confronted; now, stoicism has its uses, but quite often it gets taught alongside a lot of "Men don't cry" BS. Conversely, a lot of women are taught to let their feelings out; to show people how they're feeling so that things can be resolved through mutual understanding (personally, I think this is the healthier approach.)

The problem happens when these two ideologies clash; the emotional approach comes looking for sympathy and companionship; and in response, the stoic approach attempts to help by offering it's personal solution of just letting go of the pain. Does this sound a bit like what's happening?

We cant show emotions like femanons. That would be gay. Instead we build dyson sphere.

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>stuff like “i’m so sorry for you” “you’ll get over it” like females do
What is the point?
This wont help you. This wont change your situation.
At its core, it is just useless words. You either do something about it, or you accept the situation and silently cope. Affirmation, especially empty, is not necessary.

Does it make you horny?

>yeah you guys are missing the point
>"Why care about one person?" is code for "Your feelings are ridiculous and you need to stop feeling them." It also implies in a sense, even if my boyfriend hasn't yet demonstrated this behavioral pattern, that "I'll get angry if you don't get over your feelings immediately now that I have blessed you with my logic and shown you the 'proper' way to feel"

I have no words to describe how deeply and incredibly fucked up your thought process is if you actually think your bf was trying to make you feel this way by what he said. You completely misunderstood him. He was trying to make you feel that the glass was half full, not half empty. Yet you feel some need to break the glass across your forehead and then stab him with the sharpest piece you can find.

I mean this with all sincerity, seek professional therapy immediately.

>without being slapped on the wrist for it
You weren't slapped on the wrist for it. Your boyfriend was trying to make you feel better. He was comforting you and trying to help you see the silver lining in the situation instead of just griping and complaining.

Unless you're being shot at on your way to work, it's probably because your problems aren't that big of a deal and your boyfriend is trying to tell you that you shouldn't let it bother you.

>boyfriend gives literally the most empathetic and feelsy response to you being acted rude to
>you think it's him blowing you off
Yeah, women are only attracted to violence. This girl wants her boyfriend to fly into a rage and attack anyone that she feels slighted by. She's going to end up in an abusive relationship after cheating on her beta boyfriend in two years. Ignore her.

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The problem is that OP thinks that her boyfriend telling her to not let things bother her is him telling her that her feelings don't matter. It's unlikely that OP will change her point of view, so really, /thread

I'm pretty sure saying "Don't worry about it" isn't insensitive, it's another way of telling you to calm down. Insensitive is if your bf were to tell you to "quit bitching and shut the hell up".

Also, women like this are probably half the reason why I'd rather just fap than try finding a GF.

It's hard to deal with women when controlling their insanity is illegal now.

You have to realize he will never validate you. Leave or get used to it, I guess. My husband does validate my feelings but I found out it rarely helps anyways.

This must be bait but I'll bite anyway. You are using your boyfriend as an emotional tampon. Just because you have a feeling doesn't mean it's valid. This kind of shit is exactly why so many men are afraid of commitment, who the hell wants to put up with this on a regular basis? Honestly this is the result of modern life being too easy, you actually have time to bitch about such trivial non issues. Get over yourself or die alone with your 12 cats.

>nothing except life or death situations matter or are worth feeling emotions over
Alt-right apes at work, everyone. Remember to never feel frustrated or annoyed, even in passing, unless it involves someone trying to murder you.

Wrong post, sorry

G U A R A N T E E D
R E P L I E S

Oh well, not like anything else happens on Jow Forums.

Jesus christ how the hell do you jump to that conclusion

Sorry, but this girl has more than proven she's the insane one.

Based bf.

>invalidating
>made my feelings feel minimized
Phrases like these are red flags. "Marginalise", too.

Are you fucking dumb? Tell him that then.

Mine's similar. There have been times I've felt horrible over something he thinks is dumb and will try to comfort me. Then there are times, like recently, I told him my dog is dying. His response? To bring up a different topic after saying "get a new dog". I mentioned it again today and his response was to quickly say "yeahyoumentionedthisalready" and change the topic. Or I annoy him when something happens and I bring it up. It's gotten to the point where I think "why bother" and don't want to share anything bad going on because I already know I'm going to feel worse after telling him.

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I'm going to be that femanon that tells you you're probably freaking out or getting upset or annoyed about things that genuinely don't matter and you should probably get over yourself.

If you want him to just humor you while you rant about things make you grumpy, that you know genuinely don't matter, grow the fuck up enough to tell him as much.

Fuck you

ITT: anons falling for incel bait

Oh yes, that's very nice of you. Aren't you just a bundle of love and sunshine? I've just finished reading the thread, sweetheart, and I've come to the conclusion that you're a fucking nutjob.

How are you twenty years old and still upset that sometimes fast food employees are rude (dude, there's no way that guy was someone important to your life; why didn't you roll your eyes and move on? Hell, if it was so bad you were visibly upset why didn't you talk to the fucking Manager?)? Hell, how are you so upset about how your boyfriend--who is either a saint for putting up with you, or an emotionally abused beta boy--handled it, despite being gentle and empathetic, that you come here and make this thread seeking validation? On Jow Forums, of all fucking places, where we delight in raking self absorbed stupid people, like yourself, over the coals. You need to get over yourself and stop with the emotional abusive/manipulative bullshit--like those "invalidated," "minimized," and "marginalized," words you keep bandying about--and grow the fuck up period.

Were you raped as a child and locked into the mentality of a spoiled six year old or something?

-t. Femanon again

Based femanon, a rate breed

How was he rude to you

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Absolutely fucking based

You know what I don't need to see your tits, you showed something way better for once

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where can I get a gf like this?

S&M sites, put yourself down as a sub

but that isn't what I want, and no women are into that.

Try coming back when you're not bleeding out of your vagina, okay?

realistically, how would you have liked him to react?

This generation is doomed. Well, at least Jow Forums is doomed.

>my boyfriend
you have to go back whore

Threads like these make me feel ashamed to be a woman, jesus christ. I hope you're a troll. If not, just go kill yourself because with a braindead attitude like yours you will be feeling "invalidated" and victimised your whole life. Woe is you.

Not OP also think she is a bit djmb, but isnt this a tad harsh?

Well, suicide isn't really an option but growing up is. I hope she's intelligent enough to understand that. Her attitude in this thread did deserve a good old kys though.

when a man is saying that it isnt invalidating how you feel it's trying to help you move on to feel better. If anything you want to stay in that miserable state of mind which brings him down too. Remember women can be just as empathetic as men just said differently.

Some times you might be doing it too much and you believe that him feeling sorry for you is the way to go, however from his position he is getting to a point where he is losing respect for you if so many things end up bothering you. None the less you should realize that there are far worse ways to tell you not to worry.
Like "you are making yourself upset" "get over it"
Him telling you not to worry means he will or he knows your fears will be taken care of because he is there to be with you. So maybe dont take it so personally when he says it because it's obvious he cares and legit wants you to stop stressing yourself out.

Sure she is an idiot. Maybe a more gentle approach might work better? Or you might be right i guess

Based

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