How do I find a kind man who is looking for something long term?

I have some honestly pretty pathetic, innocent romantic fantasies. I really wouldn't want to hook up with woman, I want commitment above everything. I know women don't care about "purity" in men or anything, but I really want to stay with my first for life.

Not OP but you are hot as fuck, where are you from?

It's hard to find someone who's available kinda fast for long-term stuff. Maybe this is a chance to challenge yourself and try new things, meet different/people get into different social circles. Sex is a need to be honest and it will even take more time to have if you only want it in a long-term relationship.

I would suggest to re-evaluate and analyze your ideas of love/relationships because of your struggles. Maybe you can balance the maturness of your expectations with a more relaxed approach, letting you involve with people without knowing that it will lead to a long-term relationship first.

Maybe you're so certain about someone once you feel the click, you kinda analyze people fast or you just know in a short time that you want something serious with someone, now, get into the other side shoes. A lot of people need to build trust and know others in multiple scenarios to consider a relationship, let alone a long-term one. Your perspective may vary (and will vary) from others and while you might make your mind in x time, other people will in y time or maybe never.

There's nothing wrong in you, and I think you can have lots of fun expanding your views and learning from new experiences.

Calgary (i’m not a redneck i swear to fuck)

>Calgary
Aw I live in Europe. Either way you're a very handsome guy and your hair is great

>no reverse image results
Damn boy. Actual OP here. Canadian too but Calgary is far. Digging the hair though ;)

This is actually pretty thoughtful and spot on. Thanks user! I will consider how to apply this.

ty anonette, i’m actually extremely shy and reclusive

>how did you initiate contact (safely) on 4ch?
Throwaway email, and from there to a messaging apps, possibly with a disposable account that isn't linked to any email address you actually use or other personal information.
I set up a throwaway discord, had kik before.

With "dateable" I mostly mean witty, committed, honest, wholesome, intelligent - not that I'd personally date that person. Just that if they died alone I'd be very surprised.

it's rare what you're looking for. i would advice meeting as many people as possible, via festivals, groups of interest, bars, etc.
i met a girl i could call perfect when i was 25yo. first girl of the sort. and my friend found the first guy for herself when she was52. so be patient, i guess. also, try as hard as you can to learn who exactly dodo you want in your life.

there is no distance too far for love!

I personally end up spending time with my close friends, a little stuck in my own routine, or trying to embrace my interests to find someone like-minded.

It's not easy, we all give each other these wildly different signs about each other. I'd like to be in a serious relationship myself, with someone genuine, passionate, and adventurous. But, we all struggle to be genuine, y'know? It's easier to protect fragile egos.

I have a hard time casually dating anymore, because I'm 32, and I feel like my next relationship should have some significance. I think most of my pretty wonderful friends actually have the same mindset. It might not hurt to date up in age, without an idea of how old you are. Girl friends of mine have found a little more success using sites where people have to actually pay to connect, but I'm still skeptical.

Good luck OP! Keep fighting the good fight.

There is, install Tinder and get to know some people in your town, go out, eat the world, please don't try to flirt on this shitty place, you deserve better, thanks

Whatever you were a slut, anyways.

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I’ve been on here since i was 14! just a late bloomer is all lol

and pic related + travel is easy

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There are workarounds with these, but yeah for the most part you're probably right in that throwaways are more than safe enough

Good advice, and same to you. I hope our next relationships can be fulfilling, even if they don't last forever. I would date up in age just to meet someone more intelligent/thoughtful, but the problem with dating up is that you mostly meet people who want to date down.

Yo you actually are insanely handsome but that other user is probably right :')

I am an Euro girl dating someone in your time zone.
I love him to death, he's literally the love of my life. But long distance relationships suck and you don't want to get into one.
Meet someone locally.

Wait, people want to date down? I think that's nonsense. Men want to date down in age, but not in success, necessarily. Maybe I misread it.

welp I’ve been cursed with foreverial loneliness. back to my Jojo’s books ;_;

Yeah mb. dating up in age means you often meet men who only want to date younger women. Which means they aren't very mature anyway, just old lol. At least that's my interpretation from friends.

I mean feel free to post contact and get a bunch of questionable user messages.

Or did you just come here for us to call you handsome? ;)

Sounds like you’re asking too much. Get a job or at your job see if anyone you know there is interested in things you like. Then try to become friends. Then meet their friends and so on. You’ll eventually meet someone who clicks with you but honestly you’re never going to meet Prince Charming. Nobody’s perfect.

I don't see how you would think she is asking for perfection or "prince Charming".

user why post this and not an alt email or something. no lmao

Because she’s asking for a chad. Nobody’s like that unless they’re bullshit.

You should make an instagram and post yourself. i know you're shy but still, you'll get a lot of attention with those looks. I'd follow you lol

Good call boyo

I deleted it idk you’re right i goofed up aaaahhhh

Ah, I gotcha. Well, personally, I want to date younger to give us more time to consider whether a family is the right thing, and to end up with someone who is a little more open to a world where we can go explore things together.

It doesn't mean I'm not "mature," but my hope is that I don't have to resign myself to spending every night in the house watching the shows "we" love on whatever streaming service has the hip new thing. It's really hard to find someone around my age that isn't already fiercely committed to their routine. I just want someone who can match my energy when it comes to life.

I don't know, I'm just blogging, let me know if this isn't helpful. But I have a really great job, a robust group of friends, and finding the right balance seems to be the challenge for everyone.

Also, I realized this entire fucking post sounds weird. I'm not trying to hit on someone on Jow Forums, I'm not trying to date younger. Just perspective.

No worries user. Just employ that good block feature lol. I did take note of your number, seems legit, but I'm too pussy to text 4ch randoms bc I don't particularly wanna be killed lol. U no how it is ;*

That's true, I'm sure you'll have luck there. I'm 24 and just going back to school. People my age are all broke. As long as you're cool with playing sugar daddy lite out of necessity, I don't think it would be too hard to find a younger woman. Maybe I'm wrong.

Fuck lol. I didn't intend for this to be a "am girl pls date" thread either but reading it back I feel weird too.

At least we can all feel comfortable in mutual weirdfuckery.

Is it really sugar daddy lite to just... own a house, car, and have a decent job? Pay for dinner from time to time? Trust me, it was a pain in the ass getting here, but I don't think being a functioning human is really sugar daddy status.

It's too late, we're already internet dating. I'm calling my parents, they'll be thrilled.

>Is it really sugar daddy lite to just... own a house, car, have decent job
as someone entering in what will be at least 6 more years of school, unironically yes lmao. Mostly kidding kinda not. we're eating instant ramen out here, shit's fucked

>we're already internet dating
I can picture my anime VR chat wedding dress already

Instant ramen? I thought Canadians only had ice fishing and Tim Horton's when it comes to food.

>VR chat
whoa, whoa, whoa, we're just roleplaying right now

Well the planes come in to air drop supplies once it a while. Not many other foods can survive the freezing.

I guess I just overlooked the transition from sled dogs to airplanes. I'm bad with details.

I'm stupid and giving you a throwaway email if you want to talk later, but otherwise making dinner and going to bed. This is stupid, but hey, why not?

if you text me in the morning it would make my day, i understand if you don’t want to though
thank you for being so nice, i’m sorta in shock and awe

are you a girl?
pls be my gf

maybe on the inside??
but I’ve been cursed with a pretty dick :[
ok.

>unconditional love
Get a fucking dog

I said I tend towards things like feeling unconditional love (which is obviously hyperbole and humanly impossible) lol
>inb4 bitch

it's not difficult to find at all. the problem is when you look for guys who you would "hook up" with, and then look for them to commit
A man looking to commit would commit before having sex with you.

sorry, can't agree with a single statement here

idk man prudence is subjective love is objective. love can happen quick or slow. Like a heartbeat...

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Laundromat.

Unconditional love doesn't exist besides love that a mother/father (but mostly mother) could have for its child (it doesn't happen 100% of the time). All the other relationships in your life are conditioned: friendships, coworkers, partners, bf/fwb/fucbois/younameit.

No one has to and probably won't love you inconditionally, not even dogs. You do shit, love/affection/friendship gets removed. You're decent, they might want to develop trust.

This is something I learned in therapy, sounds shitty but it's true. What I told you took me months to understand. You don't sound crazy, but you feel kinda superior for wanting something "mature". I would highly advice you to question all your beliefs and ideas about love. You might be confusing something that it's actually negative with "deep, mature and long-term".

Go to therapy, it's fun, useful and one lf the best investments you can make

>or too nervous to even let me look at them
So you're just a picky bitch like all other girls yet expect to find Mr. Perfect? Go kill yourself.

How old are you and why is it that you've blamed everyone except yourself? The dating pool is not the problem, the problem seems to be you.

Shit nigger, you're not bad

well it clearly hasn't been going well for you

This

Females are biologically incapable of love

I'm detecting a strong "the problem is you bitch" aura.

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They are capable of love, just incapable of loving YOU.

Well it's kinda hard for an average dude to become someone's kid again, isn't it?

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Well femanon, what do you expect from a man to get your attention or what do you expect from men at all?

a genuine connection is rare and hard to find. Especially when people tell you shit you want to hear only to find out they arent real.
The best thing to do is get rid of your "Cringe" mentality if you have one at all.
Men are the most imperfect beings on the planet, and it seems you might struggle getting past that fact.
You might be stuck on this idea "men should already know" when often times we dont, what ever that maybe.
If you really want a genuine emotional connection you have to be willing to be less defensive and more open to the dumbest shit you ever seen or heard of.
You have to empathize with men for them to open up to you.

i am the guy you’re describing and the reason none of them are out there is from experience most girls don’t want that from me. i’m 21 and now i have a gf of over a year and a half and she’s it for me but before that i dated several girls who knew i was like that and manipulated me and ended up hurting me most of the time. when you’re young especially, most girls don’t want that seriousness, which makes a lot of those guys stray away from it. look for older men, hope this helps

Here I come to you in your hour of need! O, damsel in distress, I am a true, kind gentleman who will give you everything you need. Everything you need and more! If only I may have your hand, caress your tender thigh, your voluptuous bosom.... Nay, that is forbidden for a man like me... must I desire such terrible things? Though it is only with the goal of pleasing m'lady! If you would accept, of course. What do you say, O maiden? Will you accept my offer to provide for your every whim? Please way you will! I will patiently await your reply, and will dream of you until I receive word. Until then, O fair maiden....

Yeah I'm getting a lot of "the problem is you, you picky bitch". I get why I would come across that way in this thread, but I basically had my last relationship end 1.5 years ago in the same way you're describing, user (aka because legit abuse). Went to therapy, did the work, got told I'm well enough that therapy won't help me anymore, have a new life path, I'm happy and in great shape, hobbies, small solid friend group, large circle of friendly acquaintances. just in a bit of a state over how fucked people our age all seem to be lol (myself included up until a year ago).

So basically what I should have asked is, where do I find a guy who isn't fucked up emotionally, but I might have been asking in the wrong place lolol

yea probably not the best place to ask lol but if i’m gonna be honest with you, most everyone our age is emotionally fucked up. what you’re gonna have to do is realize you might need to begin something with someone where they’re not what you want yet but they have the potential to be with care and time and love. growing with someone is a wonderful way to blossom a loyal and deep relationship

can't a girl just get drunk and Jow Forums shitpost about her emotions without getting made fun of???1?

I know, I made a mistake lmao

This is good advice, I think I'm so eager to grow as a person that I guess dating someone who isn't where I'm at but who wants to be wasn't even on my radar. Not that I can't learn anything from someone like that too but yeah, this is helpful.

I did this with my current girlfriend. I was doing pretty well with all of my struggles, but she was a mess. However, I could tell she was smart enough and kind enough to want to grow with some help. Here we are, and year and a half later, and I truly think she’s it for me. We’re both so close, like nothing I thought even existed to be honest. It took a LOT of work and a lot of growing pains, but the payoff is unreal

Shitposting begets shitposting. I'm making fun of both you and the type of response these threads, i.e. thirsty dudes trying to get the lonely fem OP to date them, which works every single time without fail

If there are any legit medieval time travellers out there tho, pls post contact

Lmao shut up incel, I never said females specifically, that applies to every human. Sorry to hear you never been loved, that doesn't mean you have to hate the opposite gender. Good luck.

u first

Did you just miss my post where I said the term "unconditional love" was hyperbolic, a meme and humanly impossible? Lol

>guys
>loyal

Lmao. Get a dog, they're easier to have a good time with and don't whine as much.

I've met dudes like im describing. They are just rare and I haven't met any available ones in months. I actually really like men, these posts like "just get a dog lol men suck" are just as bullshit as anons saying women can't love lol

i'm a guy

Post dick

This

here. just because i've never expected i'll have to prove being male on Jow Forums

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>not even hard
still though, nice lmao

The madman. We need it hard now

Based

cute grills with cute penises are best tho

>waited all morning for op to text
nyoro~n ;_;

Do you have Discord?

Am OP. Still too scared to text lol. Could do email.

I'm really looking for a girlfriend, only interested in long term.

thnk you for let us know

Lol.

Most people in life are flawed hypocrites.

>I'm at the point where I talked to a nice user and was tempted to give contact lmao.
that’s what I did!!!!!
i hope you find your loyal doggo guy op lol. they can exist and if you ever do get bored I’m a real duder and a sms away