Guys, have any of you ever managed to forget your first love? I met a girl years ago when I was a dumb college kid and I instantly fell in love. She liked me too and over the years we've tried multiple times to get together but we have never managed to get it right initially due to the age difference between us (I'm 6 years older), then me not getting her signals, and now due to distance since she has moved away to another country.
The problem is that even though I don't see her anymore I still think about her. I even dream about her. I've had a lot of different relationships over the years, I've tried to fall in love with other girls, but I can't because I'm already in love with her. I have reasons to believe she still cares about me too but that's a moot point due to the thousands of miles that separate us. I'm currently in a relationship with a great girl who treats me like a king but I just can't stop thinking about the first girl and I feel like an absolute piece of shit because of it. I want to forget her but I can't. Have any of you guys dealt with this?
tl;dr: >in a relationship with one girl but love another >wat do
Get the fuck over the other girl, she’s gone and you missed your chance. Be happy you even have anyone to be with right now
Jayden Perez
This is why men are scum
Dominic Thomas
i was in love with the same dude for three years, despite him cheating on me in the first year, eventually i realized that i was in love with the idea of him and not him, got over him and been happily with someone else ever since
Easton Cox
I want to but I don't know how.
That's unfair. I'm trying here. I've never cheated on my gf or anything.
Part of the problem is that she never did anything like that to me. She just had to move away and like that it was over. It feels like there's unfinished business between us.
Robert Bennett
First of all you should break up with your girlfriend because that's not fair to her. You're essentially using her and being disingenuous about who you are to her.
Besides that whole issue, you get over people by realizing that things are dead between you two. It's the same way that you mourn a person, you mourn a past lover. Like when you say >because I'm already in love with her.
You're likely not, you're in love with your idea of her in your mind. You're infatuated.
>I have reasons to believe she still cares about me too but that's a moot point due to the thousands of miles that separate us.
What exactly are those reasons? Does it matter? Because you can break up with someone while still loving and caring for them, because the relationship doesn't functionally work. If things don't work, then things don't work. If you love a video game series but they release an edition of the game that is only available in japan or something, as much as that sucks and you can wish it was here there's no point in pining over the idea of it.
I got over my first relationship, yes.
Jeremiah King
You inspire me
Brayden Taylor
>First of all you should break up with your girlfriend because that's not fair to her. You're essentially using her and being disingenuous about who you are to her.
Even if I agreed, she's had serious problems with depression before we met. She has had moments in the past when she has been extremely upset by me meeting an ex for some work-related shit (not the girl I'm talking about obviously) and was afraid for months that I might leave her even though I have absolutely no interest in that ex. I'm genuinly afraid she might hurt herself if I leave her.
>Besides that whole issue, you get over people by realizing that things are dead between you two. That's the problem though. Things were perfect before she had to move away. She even broke up with her long-time boyfriend for me.
>You're likely not, you're in love with your idea of her in your mind. You're infatuated. No, I've been with her. I've truly never felt that way before or after and she said that same thing about me.
>What exactly are those reasons? Does it matter? Yes, because if I thought she didn't give a shit about me anymore I'd probably feel different. Instead, I'm wondering what could have been.
Camden Nguyen
I think you know the answer
Noah Nguyen
Yes, buy finding someone better than her who treats me better, it more beautiful, and we are more compatible. In fact, she's better in every way
Jose Wood
Sure it's been 15 years and I can firmly say I've gotten over her.
James Evans
I really don't. We don't keep in contact and yet it's all I can think about at times.
I envy you then.
Lucas Thomas
Sexist much?
Jace Harris
who hurt you?
John Walker
Clearly someone like OP.
Camden Ross
When did it happen? It has been 12 years for me and I still call out her name.
Connor Cox
OP here. I just found out she's in the country for a bit. I'm thinking about getting in touch and seeing her to get it out of my system. If she tells me that she doesn't want me anymore and that I should fuck off that might cure me. Opinions?
Appreciate the feelings you had or still have for her, they're very special, but you know what else is special? The woman you have now, so keep holding onto her and try not to make any mistakes between you two.
Jacob Ward
Do whatever you want, my advice is no your gf will not apprecate it at all, but ya do whatever you want just remember you're going to have to live with whatever decision you make for the rest of your life.
Jose Garcia
>you met her in college >you’re 6 years older user I...
Mason Stewart
I know, I know. I want to make it work with her but I feel like I'm lying to her. I need to get the other one out of my head and it's been years and I stll can't.
Fair point.
22 and 16. Hardly a big deal. My current gf is 8 years younger, and my ex before her 9. I've also dated older girls and I lost my virginity to a girl 7 years my senior
