She blocked me on all social media and she's selling things that we got together on a resale website online. One of her social media was left public and I saw that she's on a date. I'm not that close to her in terms of location and I haven't been able to get a hold of her lately.
This just happened this morning, what am I supposed to do? I feel this anger and regret and desperation trying to find any ways to contact her and I've only been able to send a few words. I've just been numbing myself with drinking and weed since then. I do have one last way to contact her by using a friend's phone but I'm not even sure what to say.
I would say that you shouldn't say anything. You've been trying to talk to her quite a lot, but she isn't interested in talking to you.
I know that sounds harsh, but doing this isn't helping either of you. Moving on is difficult, but I'm willing to offer some advice on how to do that, if you're willing to listen?
Ethan Collins
What would moving on do? She was the first one to be like that in my life and I wasn't having that great one before then.
I've always had trouble keeping people close to me, and she came by at a time where I lost most of my friends through a stupid drama. But man she was the first one that would hear the crappy things I had to go through in my life and really give a genuine response. Things only got better for me as I kept talking to her. Maybe I depended on her too much for that, maybe I didn't do the right things with the limited time we had to give her the proper treatment that she deserved.
Levi Perez
Only thing you can do is move on. Delete and throw away everything related to her, stop all contract and stop ruminating and reminiscing about your relationship. No bittersweet memories, no wondering what's going on with her, no thikning about what you should have done and what could have been different.
>What would moving on do? You'd stop feeling anger, regret, desperation and numbing yourself with drinking and weed.
Levi Morales
Why did you break up?
John Young
I don't know, right now there's just a lot of pain from just recent memories of her and some things being one of the greatest moments in my life. I just need to get through today with whatwever now.
I need to know why this had to happen, I don't deserve this and I want an answer from her
Nolan Green
There were some troubles when I'd come over to be with her and I'd cover everything but I'd get angry because sometimes the money we were spending got on my nerves. She met me when she was dealing with a drama with an ex, and there's been couple episodes with him where either she'd lie or I'd get suspicious and guilt her.
There were plenty of wrong things but I have no idea what it is that made the break happen. But things were good outside of that...it's just that there was a lot of drama with the ex but...I thought things were fine. I was willing to work past it. She blocked me so does this mean that she's over with me? Or was she just trying to hide this one date? I don't quite understand either
Fuck I'm getting quite drunk, sorry anons
Hunter Thomas
>She blocked me so does this mean that she's over with me? Not necessarily. Also she may be trying to get over you with a new relationship. Or not. You can't know for sure and you won't know for a long time. She may contact you after 5y. Would you wait that much? I don't think you should mourn and be done with her memory, as that's very painful. Better store it somewhere, convince yourself your can't do anything right now and try to enjoy yourself. As time goes by you will think of her less. Have you dated/fucked others since?
Hudson Ortiz
I don't know, last time I saw her we did talk about whether I would wait and I did say yes. But the way that it's happening makes me believe that this is something else.
And this just happened just a few hours ago so I'm just getting back from a morning class. i haven't really dated anyone else, I can make friends easily but I can't seem to break it past that very easily, or keep one in general. That's why she was important to me, since I've never had someone that close to me.
Joseph Hernandez
how old are you?
Logan Gonzalez
24. I was tossed into a different country with my family divorcing when I was younger, and I just haven't had the chance to be in a relationship or develop whatever I needed to keep this relationship alive. Mostly slept in highschool and in college I just showed up for the exams. I've had people interested in me but I've never bothered to act on it
David Russell
Can anyone tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do in this situation? I have no fucking clue, it's late now so I assume they're back from their date? Should I call her? no, I'm too drunk to call them right now. but christ what could go worse now
Elijah Cruz
Nothing. Just bear it, it will be hell. Wait a few days and tell her how you feel
>Calvin with the truthbombs >Hobbes the internalized authoritarian conscience
Caleb White
Move on dude.
Cameron Parker
The only thing I think of doing is trying to stalk her social media From the looks of it, I guess my attempts at contacting her after she suddenly cut contact was seen as some sort of harassing. My attempt at calling her through google voice failed as well, I suppose she's paranoid now. Afraid of me
I don't know how things became this way. I just want things to be okay between her and me but I don't understand what's going on
Jack White
No! You shouldn't push her now. Just let her be and figure what she wants. Send a letter it something and let it rest. If it's meant to be it will be.
Nathan Jackson
I sent her an email. Telling her that I'm ready to say goodbye and I just want to know what happened and what I did wrong. My head tells me that she's probably agitated from all of my attempts and it'll make it worse, but I feel like I'm going insane here.
Tyler Smith
Still here, still drunk. Been sending her calls in any ways that I could think of, without any of them being answered. I'm pretty sure I'm bordering being a stalker but I can't come up with anything else I could find meaningful.
I don't understand, I don't think I'm that horrible of a person to be avoided like this. I'm just thinking that this might not be as severe as I think it is, with good reasons, but the current state of things are so fucking awful. I just can't draw any logical conclusion of everything just happening in the past few days.
Talking to get your ex back never 98% of the time never works.
The best move is to actually walk away and mean it. Move on
Ryan Wood
>Yeah you did the wrong move here What do you mean? Are you saying that I should've "played it cold" and acted like I didn't care about the fact that she blocked me out of nowhere?
I've heard many people tell me to do something like that, but fucking hell I don't deserve to be treated like this with the way I've been to her. If she's a slut then she can go ahead and be a slut but I can't simply accept this when this goes against what she's shown me and told me. I don't know, I'm off today but I have work tomorrow, hell I doubt that I'll even make it
Liam Phillips
you're currently telling yourself a story about how since these feelings you had about her and with her were so novel and new to you, that it is impossible you will come across anyone else to evoke a response like that.
but thats the selfishness of your grief talking. And its normal. but don't fucking drown in it like a tool.
Gavin Powell
wow user you sound like me the other day. i know two heartbreaks are never really the same but i feel like i know what its like.
to be honest my first thought is that you should give her a couple days. from what your'e saying she probably understands already that you are trying to reach out to her. but if you're too aggressive about it you might make it worse but it does make sense that you'd act that way so don't feel like you're crazy or anything.
its gonna really hurt, its like literal pain, but my best advice is to bear it. something that helped me is to just move around alot. clean the house, turn on rick and morty in the background. maybe surround yourself with people. also don't drink too much. don't train yourself to solve your problems like that. its also okay to just plain old cry man. crying exists for a reason its to relieve stress. you can punch a pillow if you want. you can go out and buy a nice bubble bath and let yourself soak in it. be kind to yourself.
i fucking hate it when people just up and leave like this it happened to me too. but i got through it somehow. one day i sat down and sincerely asked myself why the guy i was dating didn't like me and when i listed the reasons i agreed that it made sense for him to move on from me. there could be some character flaw you aren't admitting to yourself that she constantly told you to change and you didn't.
when that guy left me i put all my energy into analyzing myself and figuring out traits about me that i could change and at work i tried to excercise changing all those things. her inflicting this pain on you has the power to make you better.
you'll be okay user. is possible she could message you back but i dont know. i don't have enough information about the situation to tell you how she could act. the nice thing about this board too is you'll have a lot of people going through the same thing. you aren't alone. i know dating and relationships are really tough. you can push through this though.
Cameron Thompson
also im not saying that you're the problem its possible that she's the problem.maybe she is the one that needs to change and not you, i have no way of knowing.
Asher Perry
Thanks your reply and I wish you the best out of your situation as well.
There's a quite a bit of things that I did wrong that she wanted me to improve on. I know I can't blame her too much because she's given me plenty of chances but...this just isn't the way things should go. This just feels like it's completely out of nowhere.
I was immature at dealing with these emotions, especially jealousy, and I became dependent on her to accept of my feelings and needs. I thought the more I work put in towards setting up these wild trips and dates would even things out somehow and have her be satisfied too. But it just resulted in a negative spiral of stress and misplaced expectations. I was naive and goddamn blind when there were clear signs but I just kept wanting it to last longer
There's so much that I wronged her on, but so many of these things seems unchangeable because they've been with me for so long. I've already lost most of my friends due to some of these "traits" of mine, and been attempting to improve them until I met her and I was able to learn to work with someone to be with them. I don't know if I can do that on my own, I haven't been able to do it this time either.
I do think that she'll eventually call me, since we weren't on bad terms and we did share some important moments together. At least I think so, I don't know what I'd think of her if all of it meant nothing to her.
I understand that the right thing is to just accept what's happened and take the lessons I can get from it and move on. I understand it but even if I delete her photos and videos the memories of her are still alive in my head and I can't come to terms with the current situation
Ethan Mitchell
BAAAAAAW PERSONAL BLOG
Tyler Phillips
What do you mean play t cold?
She dumped you.
You tell her honey I love you, and I want this to work out, give me a call if you change your mind.
That’s far from cold in fact that’s the best you can do for her as you are respecting her wishes to be left alone. And that’s the best for you because you’re keeping whatcsignity you have.
You never chase someone who’s dumped you. Period. And you certainly don’t beg plea or call her 1,000 tines. What you think you’re doing is to show her that you want and love and want her back. Dude she knew from the first call. The second call when she didn’t pick up and you didn’t get the hint to fuck off? That probably turned her off man.
This isn’t what love is my dude. You’ve seen way too many movies that purport the idea hat if you call her enough times, beg her hard enough, she might just change her mind. That’s not how it works.
Blake Nelson
I dunno man, I can't help but to look for a way out of this fucking shitty situation that came out of nowhere, and you had an alternative to what I've done.
You are right though. I shouldn't have called her and I should've stopped at the first attempt since she was already alerted by the messages. I could've just called once and left a voice message, but I gave into anger and alcohol which made me want answers right away.
If she did end up picking up her phone I would've ended up saying some pathetic shit. At least the email I sent her wasn't so bad. I'm just going to hope for the best and think that she'd be more understanding of the calls like the previous user said.
It's just so fucked up that all the good memories we've built up are being degraded and destroyed by her selfish wish. It might be naive for me to think this but if relationships that aren't the extremely rare "compatible couples" then it just ends up being degraded and forgotten. Is the trick to be casual and be less invested? But what's the point if you're not fully involved? Wouldn't the desire to be yourself around that person not be fulfilled?
I'm sorry it got ranty, it's a bad habit of mine. I think I've drank enough and I'm just about to knock out before the sun comes up. I hope I make it to work.
David Wilson
Nothing lasts my dude. It’s not you or her it’s just the way of reality.
>Is the trick to be casual and be less invested?
No, love with all your heart. And when the time comes then let it go.
>But what's the point if you're not fully involved? Wouldn't the desire to be yourself around that person not be fulfilled
You can be fully involved but strong enough to fully let go when the time has come. Or else you’ll be going through heartaches like this every single time. You’re pribably young so I don’t blame you you just need experience.
Here’s what I want you to do:
Write down all the good things, the lessons you’ve learned from this relationship.
Write down the cause of the break up, the events leading up to that, and what you should strive to improve and do in your future relationships.
Write his and keep it to yourself.
Take a few days to yourself and relax.
Start improving your life, work out seek new places and experiences. You need this to move on. She’s left my dude and no amount of begging will bring her back.
Walk away and never look back. Don’t ever contact her unless she does.
Good luck
Lincoln Reed
sorry but sounds like shes keeping you as a backup in case her other interests go down the toilet
Andrew Reyes
It's very simple:
-she thinks she can get/do better -leaves
The solution isn't to Disney channel "baby please come back I love you look I wrote you a song and punched a guy that catcalled at you yay we kiss now". You've given her all the power and she's screenshotting anything you send her to share with her friends to call you a cucky pathetic fuck.
Your job now is to stop this bullshit cold-turkey. She doesn't love you and begging is gonna make her look down on you like an incel and make it even worse. Women get off on the idea that they are these femme-fatales with men begging at their feet for the time of day that they can pick and choose from
Your job now is to dive head-first into self-improvement in all aspects of your life. Work out, get money, do things, be social. What she is doing doesn't matter. Treat is like a blessing. Document the good times on social media. Then when she inadvertently checks your social pages and sees what a great time you're having with other people she'll get jealous.
The end result could go a couple ways, but ideally it'd be you have this awesome new life and memories with new people and she can fuck off or she suddenly texts you one day wanting to "Catch up" because she thought the grass was greener but was either wrong or got bored. Then the power is back in your hands and you have the knowledge and wisdom to know the signs of bullshit.
The winning strategy though is to not be a fucking shithead. Treat people well and don't be a doormat. You are the fucking prize
Gavin Long
this here should be capped, documented and stickied
Ayden Flores
Genuienly. I can not stress this enough. MOVE ON
There is nothing tha tcan happen anymore nad honestly, if she treats you this way, she's not a good partner in the first place.
Find someone who won't treat you like this. Every second she takes up is a second wasted. Good luck and continue living.
Gabriel Phillips
>drunk calling mistake number one. All you look like right now is desperate and needy, and its unattractive.
>i dont think I'm that horrible of a person to be avoided like this Second mistake. You are letting her control your self worth. You can't be thinking that shes hurting you because you are a terrible person. Its a self fulfilling prophecy of telling yourself that there must be something wrong with you because of how shes treating you.
Most people get anxious and overwhelmed because they don't know how their ex is feeling or if they're over you, and the only way to fix that is to not think about it. Use logical reasoning, that if the relationship lasted that long and she genuinely loved you, then she is probably just as upset as you are, shes just distracting herself, as most women do when they are deeply affected by something. She needs to have her own moment of self realization, just as you are, and that can only happen without her.
Take my advice, fellow dumpee, block her. Block her socials. Rename her contact. Give it a month minimum. It may be painful, I'm currently reeling from doing similar actions of trying to win my ex back without taking No Contact, but it must be done, because theres only two options, getting back together or moving on, and both of those require NO CONTACT.
