Seeking advice and I have to ask your opinion.
First the opinion, I have a friend who strongly believes that the idea of going to a bar and picking up a girl to take back home or to a hotel to have casual sex is straight out of a movie and "real life doesn't work that way." Do you think there's truth in that or is my friend overly naive?
Advice: Assuming he has SOME truth to what he said, then whats a guy to do when they simply want to casually get laid without having to pay for it?
I've had drunk girls rsmming their tongues down my throats or showing their pussies in public, it is not worth the likely venereal disease you will get from such a woman; do you think you are the first, that this is a random and anomalous event? No, it should be avoided like the clap.
I've bedded women completely sober (infinitely better than what is probably bordering on rape). A lot of it is getting to know a girl, sensing for an unspoken attraction, then mixing your conversation so you are showing interest in her, relating a small amount of yourself and using humour to break down those barriers. One girl i literally said "so can i kiss you now?" And she smiled/nodded like she knew the game was over. Great sex, Good times, felt right.
Like so many things, it's true if you're Chad. Otherwise, you roll 6d20 and the result is how many chicks you're going to have to try before one says yes.
Advice: If you're inexperienced you just have to go balls to the wall and embrace rejection until you improve.
Your friend is naive and thinks his limited experience applies to everyone.
I have hooked up with a random chick just last weekend.
No number, no name, just passionate sex.
You just have to be the guy who women want to fuck and it will happen naturally.
Be attractive, be non judgemental and flirt with girls.
>inb4 don't have inborn chadness abloobloo
I was a kissless virgin until 25, I actually LEARNED to be attractive.
>I was a kissless virgin until 25, I actually LEARNED to be attractive.
PLEASE SHARE YOUR SECRET!! And please tell me it involved more than just taking showers, and wearing clean clothes.
For an average or below average guy it can seem implausible I guess.
Back when I used to go to clubs, before Tinder existed I fucked a couple of different girls in club toilets after talking to them for a couple of minutes.
>before Tinder existed I fucked a couple of different girls in club toilets after talking to them for a couple of minutes.
Club bathroom fucking sounds gross and it always surprises me how much more common that used to be in the past.
>Club bathroom fucking sounds gross
Yes it's gross but it's fun for the novelty.
it happens but for those who have game.
well you always pay for it, meaning room and the drinks of course, but you just have to charm her and if you arent a charmer then dont bother till you learn.
>well you always pay for it
There is a big difference between directly paying a woman to having sex with you and paying for the process and potential of having sex with a woman.
I've literally never spent anything on women from clubs.
Dates I buy my share of the drinks but that's it.
I don't think it can be explained like that, only learned.
When people told me "Be yourself", "Be confident", "Don't be needy", "Stop giving so much of a shit" etc. etc. I would PULL MY HAIR out in despair trying to comprehend all the things thrown at me.
Understanding women is not so simple, but it CAN be understood.
You need to become a man basically. Not even memeing, but you were likely raised wrong.
You can undo this and become an attractive man.
Expect 1-2 years if you keep at it.
Start by reading the following books:
>Models by Mark Manson
Start with this, it's a bit of a softer transition, cause honestly, Manson is a bit of a sap, but genuinely good advice aside from that.
>The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi
Careful with this one, don't go full MGTOW when you read it.
A lot of it might sound absurd, chauvinistic and contrived, but aside from some bullshit, it mostly holds true. Again, careful not to turn bitter from hearing that stuff, just read it cover to cover and internalize what is said. You don't have to subscribe to every word, but you do have to know the contents. You could learn this stuff from other sources, but I liked this one the best, almost BECAUSE it's so harsh.
Having the principles from both of these in the back of your mind almost makes you a bit more attractive all on it's own.
Weird how that works.
There are some channels on youtube, mostly PUA stuff, that has some basic, but genuinely good advice, if you filter out all the sleazy, chauvinistic pick up stuff.
Of course also get your style in order, work out, wash up, get a job, move into your own place etc. etc.
Just read these books and observe social interactions to get you started. But you will have to learn by DOING stuff and taking action.
I know but there is always a price add to it all that was my point.
Ah reading books....That's been suggested to me before. I'm not entirely comfortable with learning from PUA videos they just seem so cringy and sleazy like you said.
The ultimate method of learning is indeed experience...
He is right in the sense that you can pick up girls anywhere anytime, the thing with bars is just that you wire yourself to do it.
You could wire yourself to do it anywhere.
It's not even more difficult, it's just a different enviroment, so you have to adjust your act so you don't sound like a serial rapist.
SO if you already know, why don't you do it?
Do you expect me to tell you an easier way?
Cause there is none.
Of course not. I'd just rather fail as least as possible before success is achieved
Not in the conversation, but the only way to master something is to fail a shit ton of times.
And suffer humiliation after humiliation feeling inadequate again and again until you get it right which is not so bad at all when you're young like teens or early twenties. But if you're a late bloomer and starting out late man the fears of failure feels stronger...
Can confirm that, but life doesn't bend because you are older.
If the way to do something is just one, you'd do good not to question it and just do. Otherwise you are just creating unnecessary suffering for something that will not budge, essentially you'd be hitting a wall and cursing the fact your hand hurts.
Bad news then. If you are gonna be a coward about it, you wont achieve (nor do you deserve) success.
Pffft please, failure alone doesn't scare me. Excessive and constant failure with no progress does.
Failure = progress.
Look, if you are looking for an easy way out, you might as well just give up, cause there is none.
If you came up with one, you would be the richest man on earth before long.
Grow a pair, get out there and start taking action.
Noones looking for an easy way out, just looking for proper methods that will lessen UNNECESSARY failures, it's not gonna stop me from still proceeding towards failure in hopes for success either way.
Read the books I mentioned.
Other than that.
Trial and error bro. Learning by doing. No book or video can teach you what actually works for you.
There is really nothing else to be said.
This thread is a form of avoiding taking action and facing rejection.
You will face rejection. Be okay with that and you can be free.
Saged.
the fact that I'm all for action is why I'm even asking at all.
Again rejection itself doesn't scare me, I just don't know if I could handle say 100 rejections in a row before I get one success and I'd prefer have a way to get at least 50 rejections before I get one success.
Well, life doesn't work like that, so better get to it and start improving your game by interacting with women.
There is nothing else to be done, except read the books I told you WHILE YOU START taking action.
I would recommend to read them, but you have to just rip off the band aid and get started.