Why is getting a girlfriend so absurdly difficult?

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. Just make some money and women will come try not to settle focus on yourself a special women is bound to enter your Life unless you don't socialize. In that case get out more, hit the gym. Go to a bar and just talk to women. Its not that hard. I've gotten to the point where I can just go to a bar and grab a chick and take her home. But I've been trying at it for awhile. Put in some effort boy. But not too much, dont let them take advantage of you

Why are you lying? Getting a girlfriend is not hard.

Some of these girls are just sluts, I'm trying to FIND out if there are girls who are not sluts.

It isn't if you aren't a social reject.
Do you meet new people? Do you make friemds? Do ypu ask people out?

You're not making any sense. Getting a girlfriend is not hard, you can't dispute that fact.

You just need a little money, a little game, and a little sexual experience

My standards really aren't high especially when compared to certain things about myself,
am I supposed to be counting? at least 30 in real life, although I tried much broader approaches like online dating. I'm a bit confused why you would seem to imply that I do not actually try but complain about it being difficult. I find it hard to believe it is really that common.

It is probably because most girls don't want to be just "a girlfriend". They want to believe you chose them because you like them, not just because you want someone to fill the job opening

>money
no

>game
maybe

>experience
kind of?

I lost my virginity looking like a fat, greasy fuck with long hair and fucked up teeth. I essentially kept going after chicks in different ways until I figured out what MIGHT work with one and it did indeed work.

Using that same formula my number is now nearing 100, I am married, I am broke and I live in my grandparents basement.

Sounds like you got a little game, hopefully these chicks ain't walking all over your ass

Have a read of "A Billion Wicked Thoughts" and you will come to learn that a vast majority of women are seeking men of status. Not all, but many. Status can come in the form of being the captain of the football team, the owner of a hedge fund company, or even the leader of a gang. Why such a broad range? Because these men tend to exhibit the two additional traits that comes with status: confidence and competence. Skilled with their acting or their guitar, confident in their abilities and thus revered/feared by their peers.

Women objectify men as success objects the same way men objectify women as sex objects. Don't stress or get mad, its just the way it is. It's in our biological nature, because after after all, our genes which we're made up of, are really just wanting to survive and maximise what's in their best interest. Richard Dawkins makes the convincing argument that we're simply self-aware flesh robots--which concerns me a great deal about actual AI robots but that's for another discussion.

Again keep in mind I said "many" and not "all of" women. There are always exceptions to the rule. The choice then comes down to:
a) you're willing to bother with making the effort to attract and go through the trial-and-error to find 'the one'
b) learn that our industrial society is nearing the 'collapse' stage as many civilisations have experienced throughout history (ask the Romans or the Mayans), and thus trying to partner up with someone for the sake of a child is completely irrational and borderline selfish.
b) understand that trying to find validation through the opposite sex is a futile effort that not only wastes precious time but can cause great mental anguish (just ask the involuntary celibates).

>It seems like it is always that women do not want male attention unless one particular man interests them
Yeah this is because most of us are just as awkward as most dudes.
I have had men trying to flirt with me since I was a kid. At 13 some adult grabbed my butt. it's literally a lifelong thing to have men trying to push themselves onto you.
It's not that I don't want a bf, it's that I would like for a guy to just talk to me without expectations or pressure first. Just have enjoyable casual interactions and see if we click. It's because women generally value connection and turns out it's not actually as great having a bunch of dudes trying to jump you 24/7 as you might imagine. Also confrontation sucks.

TLDR;
>unless one particular man interests them
acquire this first

That's not hard.
Fucking women while AVOIDING commitment,
now THAT is hard and takes a true alpha man to do.

Ok, question gor you(not OP).
I did try to connect with girls in a deeper level than my guy friends. Have been upfront and honest with my feelings but it just seems to push them of. Being emotional seem to backfire in my case?

Can you think of a reason? I am thinking maybe i quit being a mystery for them and they got bored? (Not memeing honest questions here)

You are being needy.
If you meet a girl, and immediately feel infatuated and write them confessions of love, YES you will put them off.
They will feel pressured and a little creeped out.
You can very subtly and covertly hint at romantic interest, but you don't communicate it overtly.
Women don't work like that, they are not men.
Be cool and casual and never put all your cards on the table.
Let things progress and DON'T BE SO INVESTED IMMEDIATELY.
Not every girl you interact with has to be your future wife immediately.
Let her convince you too, she wants that and
you are taking it away from her.
You don't NEED anything from her, you WANT to interact with her because you think she is cute.
NO FURTHER THAN THAT for the first few weeks of interacting with her at LEAST.

And when I say NO FURTHER THAN THAT, what I mean is EMOTIONALLY.
You absolutely should escalate physically as far as you can, but again DON'T BE NEEDY and DON'T PRESSURE HER.
Let things be natural, easy going and fun.

What's your formula?

Imagine being a girl in a society.
A society has shit loads of people, too many to stop and learn about them.
Now imagine being called a Stacy because she doesn't want a person that is as bland as slightly warm water.

The only way to not be like everybody else is to be yourself so hard people can know what you are all about just by looking.

>upfront and honest with my feelings
Femanon again. I said enjoyable, casual interactions, without expectations or pressure. So yes, being too emotional too soon is strange, I would much rather someone just ask for my number. I more meant, just introduce yourself, be friendly, talk about whatever is applicable to the current situation a little, then make sure to say hi to them next time you see them. Do this a couple times and then ask for their number, just don't wait too long or get too friendly, or we will think there is no interest.
Basically what I'm recommend is a "natural" approach
>see girl
>attraction
>initiate normal conversation, they will notice you have interest simply from that, but will be wondering about you since you left it ambiguous
>be friendly until she seems to be a little more responsive during encounters, and you both have an inkling of the other's personality
>ask for number

If you are looking for an actual relationship and not just a hookup, I think that is the best way.

>it's literally a lifelong thing to have men trying to push themselves onto you.
This is genuinely disheartening and it makes me have a hard time trying to pursue women. I suppose it is a combination of feeling bad for women, maybe even being ashamed that I could be a part of this, or bitterness that I won't be able to make a woman happy be giving her attention like she could to me, as many women do when they choose to talk to me.
It would be so much better for everyone if this could be met in the middle, with a more equal experience of attention. I don't know if it is impossible to beat biology, maybe it is wishful thinking to imagine it is a cultural problem that could change.

You shouldn't be disheartened by it, it's just the way it is. I mentioned it because I think it's easier to act when armed with knowledge, and because it might help you to understand why women act the way that they do. Really, when men understand women a little, they are at a huge advantage in my eyes.
>I won't be able to make a woman happy be giving her attention like she could to me
This is a little true, but this doesn't mean a woman will never be happy receiving attention from you. It just means you need to figure out what kind of attention to give.
As for it being a cultural issue, I can tell you I'm 24 and I have had a lot of talks with my girl friends about taking more of an active role in flirting or asking guys out. I know there is some biology there but I think it is becoming more "equal" in time. It's a complex issue. I do understand wishing for a utopia, but all we can do is make small changes.
It's good to be empathetic to some degree, but try not to let the complexities and difficulties in life get you down. This is just another challenge to overcome.

What you said seems reasonable, how come it is so hard to apply?

The issue is i would like to know somebody well before asking for their number. And that seems to get past the "too friendly " part you are talking about.
I always seem to move into that zone, and not trying to get into dating waaay too late seem to amplify that.

And wouldnt the way you say mean you only have a limited window of oppurtunity and after thats gone you are just a dude he knows? And what if you might not see her again?

>You absolutely should escalate physically as far as you can, but again DON'T BE NEEDY and DON'T PRESSURE HER.
>Let things be natural, easy going and fun.
Are you suggesting that you SHOULD try to have sex before emotional investment? Why? I really don't want that myself, much less would I want a woman who is okay with that.

Ok i am autisticly confused about this in my life. There are a ton of messages that say dating doesnt mean interest but also a ton other messages that say only date people you are interested on the internet. I dont intend to make a joke about this.

I am just a bit too much a late bloomer, so i try to understand and not fuck up. But always always do. I am not attractive either so not like anything will happen unless i pursue. And you say dont pursue or dont put anything openly. What then? Just talk casually? I did that and always ended being an acquaintance?

I dont mean to disregard your advice btw, just confused and frustrated.

>I have had a lot of talks with my girl friends about taking more of an active role in flirting or asking guys out.
I don't think that is going to help. The type of men who need this attention the most are not the type who would be approached, and not have much success with approaching.

It's hard to apply because it takes on the fly skills like confidence, charisma, conversation and reading the situation. It's just something everyone needs to practise and grow comfortable with.

I am just giving a general take. Obviously, if you are at a bar and will never see her again, just ask for the number. If you have or want to wait longer than a couple weeks, you can do this too. If possible, I think the best way to play the long game would be to see each other a lot in group settings, talk one on one, but leave being alone together til you want to make it more romantic. There really aren't any hard and fast rules though, my last relationship was with a long time friend. That sort of thing happens all the time.

>this sort of things happen all the time

Not for me, i am sorry it never happens for me. I understand my social circle isnt dynamic and mostly dudes but even when it wasnt there was never flirt in my life.
And now it just feels a bit late for trial&error at my age.

I truly wish somebody approached me, because when i approach i seem to go in too hard.

You know what, thanks for helping. I am just a bit frustrated thats all. I dont want to play games when it comes to these things, i would like to be open and clear like the rest of my life. But everybody says never be too open so it goes againstmy entire life philosophy and i am confused if nothing else.

Thanks though

>I mentioned it because I think it's easier to act when armed with knowledge, and because it might help you to understand why women act the way that they do.
Do you think it could be possible to find one that doesn't act that way? maybe one who got lucky and didn't experience this sort of thing from men, at least not very often?
>This is a little true, but this doesn't mean a woman will never be happy receiving attention from you. It just means you need to figure out what kind of attention to give.
I just don't know how. I think to treat women how I would want to be treated by them, but I don't think there are many like me...
it makes me wonder if it is even worth it, then. If the way men constantly chase women is even half as bad as what I have felt being isolated, I wouldn't wish it on anybody, especially a girl I liked

Then be open user. You asked for advice and decided no, you are your own person with your own values that you wish to follow. I respect that, and most people really do respect people who are committed to their values, even if they don't show it. If you stick to your philosophy, you will attract less people, but the ones you do attract will be good matches for you.
Just don't let yourself withdraw into your own world too much and you will find someone in time. It's never too late for trial, error and growth, so don't fall into that. Gluck user

Well don't have sex then, but you need to make clear in some way that you are not in this for platonic friendship.
You need to do this with your actions and demeanor before you can overtly state it.

No. That's not what I am saying.
You do pursue, but not in a way that screams "NEEDY BETA MALE ALERT".
Yes, just talk to women. Act like you have hundreds of women lining up to suck your dick.
How would you interact with other women if that was the case?
Would you try to emotionally lock down and woo the first girl you see, or would you be more selective?
Playfully flirt with girls, see how they respond.
If they respond negatively JUST WALK AWAY BRO.
It doesn't HAVE to be THIS girl, does it?
If she responds positively, flirt some more.
If you like her, ask her for her number.
Set up a date, see if you still liker her if you keep talking to her.
Don't be super attached, YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HER YET.

To be attractive to women, you need to play the game like women do.
WOMEN HAVE MANY MANY OPTIONS to choose from and they ACT LIKE IT.
If you do it too, it will be much easier, trust me.
Doesn't matter if you have options, just act like you do.

But it doesn't seem to work. And maybe it is because i dont think i tried dating or even trying to be unattractive until i am 28. But i am "out there" for like 6 months so far and everygirl i talk seem to be put off. And i wouldnt want to think i am perfect and i havent just found the right person yet. So i am here trying to get all the advice i can get

because you fucking try too hard. Find the girl who is by her self, grab you weed, and say hey you wanna smoke? dont try so hard.

Took me over a year to get anywhere.
Keep learning, but for that you do have to be open to learn. If you are scared to take any action, nothing will happen ever.
It's a painful process trust me, I know.
I was a virgin until year 25.
Now I am hooking up with a different girl every weekend and have 2 fuck buddies.
>But I want a committed relationship
Obviously you don't have to be a manwhore like me, but you need to be able to.
You need the skills that takes to truly attract a woman.
Otherwise you will always be a beta provider at best and a lonely fuckup at worst.

No offence but right now, you sound like a needy beta. Change that, and you will get the women that you want in your life.

It's a painful and long process at our age, but it can be done. Never forget that. Keep making progress.

I dont smoke user, i am edibles guy. And even that very very rarely

then eat, I dont give a fuck, stop whining and start chilling.

>because i dont think i tried dating or even trying to be unattractive until i am 28
Still young and improving yourself, you mean.
>But i am "out there" for like 6 months
I've been out there for a year and yeah, I'm on girl ez mode.

You have a good value system, you are working on improving yourself and you looks, and you've only been looking 6 months so far. I think you'll do fine user, I'm fucking serious.

I am being a bit dramatic. I know there is a way ahead, if not i wouldnt have lost 40 pounds in 6 months, groomed better and took some other actions in my life that can be counted as dramatic.

However i am not naturally attractive, (average face at best, 5'3") so i also know it might be on a different note than normal people. The normal advice of "just go out there bro" is correct, i just need to nail it in my head. It takes to recondition yourself of 20 sth years of life experiences thats all.

Oh fuck off pothead, is there any advice you can give that doesnt involve loosing your mental faculties?

what's your formula?

>Oh fuck off pothead, is there any advice you can give that doesnt involve loosing your mental faculties?
why, I do believe I have been telling you this. I am not even high. Have you ever seen a pot head say " excuse me I want to be alone to get high"? no it's always "hey wanna get high?" it creates a social environment for you to get to know this person, women want to chill so fucking chill. Thing is like AI said you are trying too hard to be mister perfect mister right or just be YOU when infact you are trying too hard to be any or all of those things. The best way to be you is the you who is looking to have a good time, pleasantly socialize and get to know people. All you have to do is actually do it.

It’s only hard because you don’t want it badly enough to make moves to get one.

Weed is a crutch for stress, better than drinking but less effective than faith and meditation methods.

We will see about that, i just need to work over my mental blocks i think. No tricks, no games just going past the bs i put myself in and "be myself". It just is so much easier with guys than girls, for some reason.

of course it is but faith doesnt kill my arthritic pain.

Do what exactly? Do socialise? I do a lot, granted in wrong crowd to find a girlfriend. But i like my friends, they are good people. Just a sausage fest thats all.

Also, see you are talking about gamesmanship, it feels somewhat dishonest to me. Is that normal? Can i be more myself or would that just simplynput off anybdoy?

>overcome mental blocks
>getting past the bs
Yup I think you're spot on :) this is something I'm trying to do too. I am learning for myself that there's no way around the hard work, you just need to keep improving yourself and working towards your goals, even goals like being more social or dating.

Even if the goals take a long time, at least we can be better rounded and more confident in general through the work.

no you see you think gamesmanship as a way as playing the Chad. Here is the deal when you are put talking to ladies and stuff you act on your best behavior but that doesnt mean like a stick up your butt mind your manners to the T. No it means you act as your casual self but in a way that shows you are enjoying yourself and relaxed. Think of the most relaxing thing that eases your stress, now pretend there are ladies around you.
>hey femanon how you doing tonight
>not interested that's what -scoff-
she leaves
user chuckles and shrugs
>ok what ever
new femanon shows up
>hey
>hey
>never seen you around here before
>on vacation lol
then it goes from there.
that kind of exchange is simple but important, basically you need to roll off the failures bounce back up and try again. Also lowering your standards will help.

Opioids are a mother fucker, stay away so I can have more to myself and my cancer pain.

I wouldnt take more from cancer patients dude, I know the shit you go through, I can sit through my pain, because it doesnt hurt as bad as what you are going througj.

True, somebody to cuddle wouldnt hurt though i guess. And pet kitties with(a cat got into my house just now so thinking about cats).

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See the example you give me is not sth i want, i didnt liken it to chad btw. I liked it to gamesmanship, essentially playing an unspoken game that everybody knows that is being played but nobody acknowledges it. I dont want random girls, every cad or chadlite friend keeps equivocating their desires on to me. I literally have 0 interest in a one night stand or picking up someone from the bar, and the all discussion about just shows me how i think different to this than people. It annoys me a bit, i feel out of sync eith people.

>it's literally a lifelong thing to have men trying to push themselves onto you.

No, don't worry, it'll stop in your 30s. You have another 50 years or so to go being ignored like the rest of us.

GOD it's HARD to READ posts WRITTEN this WAY. It's like you don't know how to express yourself.

This is me too.
I've been around dudes and girls who don't take care of themselves and it's fucking gross.

virgin detected

How come i know so many losers with gfs though?

The girls are loosers too?

>Stop mentioning D&D, man. Women don't want to hear about it
Really depends. I met a woman on a greyhound bus that went with a bunch of larpers to larp in a forest. I met a girl who also played dungeons and dragons. But even if they're interested in that, it can be annoying to hear or talk about like if a car person was talking to a non-car person about engines and parts.

>Remember petting a cat on the Hydra islands
Don't make me feel this, user.

Cats are nice user. Look at this one, not the one that entered my house but i got to pet it.

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doesn't explain why highschool kids and broke college students can get girlfriends

>why is getting a girlfriend so absurdly difficult
It's not, most men do it at least once before 18.

Get a boyfriend.

>but you need to make clear in some way that you are not in this for platonic friendship.
I would do this through emotional ways and communication, most definitely not physical. Maybe asking if she wanted to do something using the word "date". I always loathed this method "getting to know somebody".
It seems like there are a lot of women who do style of having sex with a man, and THEN wondering when he is going to say he loves you.
But if a man is going to say it and mean it, it has nothing to do with having had sex with you.

Please respond

>the cope in this thread
Either you admit your personality is killing your prospects or you resign to the fact that your shit taste is almost exclusively thot-centric and you've nobody but yourself to blame for humouring a shallow person.

My taste is not thot-centric but i do have a shitty personality, at least one that gives of a creepy, desperate vibe. When i revise some chats i had i can see how it can be read differently from intended. I need to be precise, clear, accurate and on point with my speech and actions.

Also, not OP.

I don't think either of those things are true though. I'm really not into those types of girls and I think nice girls would enjoy being in a relationship with me. The hard part is starting the relationship...