>_>;; Gonna fake my graduation

The college heads and old professors notice something is wrong, look into the issue. Realize the mistake, realize your scam, have campus security and local police escort your and your family off campus. Permanent bann from school.

Oo you fucking retard, lets say you pull this off, then what? How would you go about working in your field of study with no degree?

OP, you're rightfully getting dunked on, just tell your parents you're fucked. If you really need to pussy out of the truth, tell them that you got notifed last minute your grades got mixed up, and you just got notified you didn't get all your credits to graduate. Tell them there's nothing you or them can do, because it was your fault you fucked up last minute.

Then take a year off, and actually go back and finish your degree, fucktard.

... Sounds like no one here is creative enough to think up a plan. Got it. I'll think of something myself.

you will not pull this off and you will be humiliated, you will humiliate your family and they will probably hate you for it
then you will come here cryin how could this happen making threads about your "suffering"
stupid ass retard

Lol, sure thing bro. Its one thing to lie and convince your own mother of something. Its another to convince a college graduation ceremony to hand you a diploma that you didn't earn.

You are a failure.
You are a fraud.
You are lazy.
You should feel ashamed for lying to your own family.

Imagine the look of pain, disgust, shame and dishonor your mother will have on her face when she realizes that you lied to her over the moment she has been waiting for since you were born.

Watch her rightly disown you over this.

Your plan is as half baked as they come.

I don't think you quite grasp the sheer ludicrousness of your predicament.
Look OP, when I was 16, I dated this guy LDR who was 21-22 - I told him I was 18. I proceeded to date him for a year, and we made plans to move to a different state after another year or so. I CONVINCED myself I could do it, I looked into getting fake IDs, education, jobs, craigslist, I thought I for sure could run away from home and make this happen.
It was fucking stupid, I was a fucking idiot for thinking I could do it. My family found out about him and it was a shit show.

I don't think you should tell your parents right now that you're not graduating, I strongly suggest either becoming violently ill or breaking a bone to get out of it day of. But anything that you think you can scheme and "pretend" to graduate, will absolutely, not work. You already said it yourself: I have no one to help me do this/no connections
So if you don't have a friend that can maybe pull a few strings for you, you're SOL, and even if you did there's probably about a 1% chance it would work. You don't have that friend, 0% chance. Stop being a naive retard.

just delay the moment by killing yourself. sure they will find out at some point that you didnt graduate but that would be so eclipsed by your death that they wont care anymore when they do!

His own classmates will call his pathetic ass out:

Professor writing here.

Trust me - it's impossible.

You just might get away with it if they weren't coming to the ceremony and you could fake some photos. But security is tight at these events, everything (like the list of names) is planned out and triple checked to avoid errors, and no photoshopped diploma will look anything but phony.

If you are determined to do this - and it is a really, really bad idea - try inventing the lie that your particular college or department doesn't take part in the ceremony and diplomas are mailed out later..

But it would be FAR FAR better to half-lie. Underplay the extent of your dropping out, say you somehow missed one or two requirements and will have to make them up to get your diploma. That might buy you some time. And if you actually do go back to school you can later admit that it was more than a couple of classes.

>
say you somehow missed one or two requirements and will have to make them up to get your diploma.

That's pretty good advice. You can even drop out afterwards, saying you feel burned out or are suffering from depression, then go back a year later and say you have to repeat quite a few things/changed courses slightly so it's going to take longer.

but you're a sad man OP, and not worth the attitude you have

Just tell your parents you dropped out. At least you have a job (I assume that you don't use your parents money to fake graduation).

Bruh, you are as retarded as they come. I've been involved in the organizing of graduation ceremonies and you have absolutely no hope of getting into the ceremony.

1. The list of graduands is electronically logged months in advance in order to get the number of seats needed.

2. Certificates for graduands are printed according to the said log.

3. If you had any chance in pulling it off you would have had to know a university administrator with access to the grad records to insert your name MONTHS AGO. Pretty much straight after results are in graduations are planned.

4. The gowns, hoods and hats are not universal and are usually hired put within the university to students. You would have to steal a gown and cap and the hood that corresponds to your faculty of education.

5. The faculty in attendance will know you haven't passed and tell the chancellor/ vice-chancellor of your fucktardery.

So, shithead, you better come clean to your parents before you lose every ounce of respect you still have. If you do this you will get caught and be forever known as the failure who tried to fake his grad.

Okay, I get maybe not going to the ceremony because it's too much. But what should I do?

The reason I can't just tell my parents is because my mom might literally die from the anger she'd feel. I know that I got myself into this mess, and that I'm retarded and everything, but honestly it's not all my fault for dropping out.

I don't really know how to describe my relationship with my mom. I respect and love her, but I'm also afraid of her. She's always been verbally abusive over minor things (for example... like if you accidentally spill a liquid she'll blow up even though you can easily clean it up) and gets herself SUPER stressed out even though she has a weak heart. She's more manipulative than I am, and I've seen her actually throw and break things because she caught my brother dming someone on Twitter (he was 16 and it was his friend).
Im saying this because she's been like that my whole life, so I grew up super nervous and cautious of her and the things I do. My whole life revolves around her, and because of it I'm half the person I should be. I'm overly sensitive, I can't even speak in a serious tone without crying, I lie about anything that would make someone mad at me. One time I tried to kill myself because college was getting the best of me, and when my parents found out my dad got so mad at me but I could tell he was genuinely concerned. All my mom said was that she knew out of all her kids that I'd be the one to try to kill themselves. But I can't help that despite all of that, I love her and care for her. I realize that it's probably some weird version of Stockholm Syndrome, but I don't want to be the reason I lose her.

What I'm trying to say is that I can't just tell her that I didn't graduate. She very sick right now and I'm afraid of what will happen to her.

Also, if I do make a fake diploma, I'm not stupid enough to apply for a job with it. I'll just get a state job and play it off as something I got just to pay bills for the time being.

Bruh you have a penis you shouldn’t be scared of a woman

You are adult. Parents don't have power over you. Tell the truth. If you don't want your mom to blame herself just tell them you have to go find yourself or some other rebel bullshit.

You have two parents fucktard. Break it to your dad first and say you need help telling mom cause you're afraid she would literally die or go on a killing spree or whatever if your dad doesn't help stand by you. But yeah, spin it to stress that you only need one more semester and that you still fully intend to graduate next semester.

Jow Forums giving the good Jow Forumsice.

OP just say that you don't want to participate in that stupid ceremony that gets you even more money after taking all the stupid gen eds and your only useful major classes.
The only thing you should fake is your diploma, which you should be able to look in every social media (even instagram) so that you "graduated" and got the stupid piece of paper.

OP, don't worry I did the same thing. Except my University had a contingency for shit like this and let's everyone walk for graduation granted they filled out the paperwork for "Graduating this Semester" in the online portal. They do this because plenty of people have to repeat shit or do summer classes, but still want to walk in the spring or when they were supposed to graduate.

You sure there's no way you can still walk without ""actually"" graduating? Maybe talk to a counselor or something.

Let me add that the "diploma" they give you on stage is fake, because you're only a "graduate candidate." So you can always say, no matter what "real diploma is in the mail." And they do this shit because grades aren't always in at graduation walk too.