So, I almost feel like this belongs on /d/ but I want some actual input and advice, not shit posting, so here goes...
I'm a guy in his mid 20's and since I was a teen, I've had a fetish for dickgirls/futas. My current gf is aware of this fetish and is accepting of it, even going as far as trying to indulge it from time to time. However, it's obvious to me that she's not that into it and is really just doing it for me, which makes it kind of awkward...
Additionally I've gotten kind of bored with looking at dickgirl porn, so in the last few months I've taken to rp'ing through chat on Omegle and other places. This past week I met someone who was rp'ing as a herm, that was actually a herm IRL (she even sent pics as evidence) This person is half way around the globe, so it's not like I'm trying to hook up with them, but talking to them I realized that I was the most turned on I think I've ever been.
So now I'm sitting here asking myself if I'll ever truly be happy and satisfied in a relationship unless I'm with a girl that either loves dickgirls as much as I do, or is one herself (good fuckin luck). This has all got me feeling really down, as I really like my current gf otherwise. We get along well and have similar values, and her sex drive is on par with mine, we're just into different shit. But I can't deny that Im not really satisfied. It's the difference between acceptance and understanding I guess, at least when it comes to kinks...
Also I'm sure this is going to come up, so I'll dismiss it now: guys and traps are off the table. I've seriously asked myself if I'd be happier if I just went gay, but I find guys sexually repulsive, and adding a dress doesn't help...
I'm sure this dickgirl part is not that common, but has anyone gone through anything similar?
Yeah, i‘ll second that. You completely ruined your brain with porn and now you‘re about to throw away a perfectly good relationship and a girl you‘re compatible with because the one making the decisions in your life isn't you anymore. It’s your dick. Let that sink in.
Caleb Carter
Sure, I had a little RP haunt (yes, with herms) that slaked the cravings. Same boat, girlfriend tried to help but didn't really seem to be into it or interested so I said whatever, that's fine, I don't REQUIRE it.
And sure as shootin', you won't. You can eat, sleep and breathe just fine without ERPing shit. But once you're done those things, the craving will hit and you'll have to slake it. Either you rise above through raw willpower or you find a way to tactfully drop the girlfriend and continue as a single. I've considered singledom simply as a form of expression, but I think I'd rather trade ERPing than the stability of my life and love. All that said, you can also just ask if she's okay with you finding an outlet. If you're not out there like, giving this herm your living address and shit... maybe this is a good example of nondestructive outlets (although drop the pic swapping).
Henry Carter
The grestest lie 20 year olds believe is that sex will matter in 10 years.
as a 33 year old man, I can tell you that my decisions are SIGNIFICANTLY less driven by sex than they were 10 years ago. As a teen/20 something you still just want to fuck everything in site. As you age, your sex drive will go down and you'll realize that it just doesn't matter as much.
Sure you still want a healthy relationship, and you can talk to your girlfriend about it. If you two are actually going to go anywhere long term, then you have to be able to be honest about this kind of shit. My wife, for instance, would accept any fetish I came at her with and not be judgemental. She may not be into it inherently, but the fact that I'm into it would be enough justification for her to find enjoyment out of it (and vice versa if she had any fetishes).
That's really the only way to have a healthy relationship, so I'd say if you love your gf just be open and talk about it.
Nathan Barnes
Degenerates like you belong on a cross
Landon James
OP Here Thanks for the replies so far! This is a really good point, I guess I didn't have the foresight to look that far ahead. However, that doesn't really give me anything to work off for the next 5-10 years, and my current situation doesn't exactly seem healthy. This was SUPER helpful, or at least knowing someone else has been in my exact shoes is somewhat comforting. I think you're right, ending the whole relationship over this isn't really appealing, and perhaps this could be an outlet for the time being. (Also I totally agree on the pics. Normally I never do. Only reason she did was because of how big she was claiming to be. Pics were to prove her size, as it was admittedly kind of unbelievable.) Y'all have a point, I need to let my dick do less of the thinking. Though porn is my only bad habit (I don't drink or smoke or do drugs or anything) so I don't know how realistic it would be to try and quit cold turkey. But focusing on it less would probably be a good idea...
Kevin Wood
Like that degenerate, what was his name again? Jesus?
but I didn't let it make all of my decisions for me so i have a phd and an awesome girlfriend
but I still want to put my dick into everything and I don't expect that to go away any time soon
Lucas Roberts
Faggot can’t even roll digits
Lucas Rivera
Well, this is also good insight, maybe I won't calm down with age. But like you and the others said, less thinking with the dick. Especially since her and I both have big career aspirations.
K E K
Jordan Russell
Sorry, I didn't mean that sex became unimportant, but that it doesn't factor into my major decisions. I still enjoy the hell out of sex and my wife and I have it regularly. HOWEVER, it's no longer a factor that overrides more practical concerns. Sex is just another thing that you can figure out how to work around and becomes much less of a relationship hinging focal point.
Hunter Ward
That brings up a good point actually: Is the reason for that because you're completely satisfied sexually? Or that you were simply able to work through any issues along the way? Basically, was it perfect from day 1, or did it take time?
Lincoln Rogers
Little of column A little of column B.
We happen to have good sex, but we go through long periods of not having sex because of work or other obligations. We're just both in our early 30s and are really up front and honest about what we want. My wife is probably the least attractive woman I've ever been with, and the sex is still among the best I've ever had because we have great communication and genuine love for each other.
Just basing your relationships off physical qualities is a quick road to unhappiness, my dude
Hudson Robinson
I'm definitely not solely basing it off just physical qualities, there's a lot I like about her that goes beyond physical. She's very caring and open minded, adventurous, and nerdy. Hell, we met at an anime convention, that's most weeb's dream, I'm sure. She is kind of a normie, but she's a good person.
Idk, I'm in this weird position of being torn between thinking I'm settling, and thinking I'm being ungrateful.
I'd argue though that the fetish thing isn't a physical matter at all. Like I said, I'm not trying to find an actual herm IRL, rather I just want someone who truly understands that side of me. Someone I can bond with on more than just a physical level in the bedroom. But I don't know. Maybe I am just focusing too much on the sex. Sex is definitely only part of the equation. But I can't help but feel like I'm missing part of the puzzle...
Either way, at least taking the time to sit down and think this out as I type is helping me work through my thoughts, so that's helpful.
Sebastian Brown
How long have you guys been dating? Wouldn't happen to be in the ~2 year range, would it?
Kayden Russell
Nope, we've been dating for about 5-6 months now.
On that note, I think part of this is due to my last relationship not working out, and me waiting way longer than I should have to end it. I feel like I might be trying too hard to not make the same mistake again...
Liam Ward
>browses /d/ >has ever had a gf
How do I achieve this mode?
Dylan Hernandez
>The grestest lie 20 year olds believe is that sex will matter in 10 years. So fucking true. 30 here.
Tyler Murphy
What about dickgirls is so amazing to you or makes you feel attracted to them? You could just have a partner with a strap-on, or do you want a real penis on a woman partner?
I'm sure you could find someone who fits the bill, but then you could easily be seen as a trans-chaser or someone who really only cares about someone for their body parts. This is kind of an odd situation, I'm really just trying to gauge what you actually want with this.
Nolan Thompson
OP again. Well, it probably helps that I'm at least decent looking, but I'm also 5'8" so I'm not completely on easy mode. But honestly? This is over simplifying it, but learn to like yourself and do things you enjoy. Having good friends that support you and share interests helps with the self love. Once you've got that, just don't worry too much about impressing anyone, girls or otherwise.
As I mentioned before, I met my gf at a small anime convention. I was recently single, sure. But I didn't go looking for a gf. I went with another weeb buddy before he left the country. We went to play some board games and met some strangers there. We hit it off and all went to eat after the con. Girl and I hit it off and one thing led to another. I could go in depth on this, but don't wanna ramble. If you wanna hear about it, reply and I'll make a dedicated reply.
This is really hard to answer, and I've asked myself several times. It's like asking someone why they're gay or straight: they just are. The only thing I've ever been able to come up with is that (because I'm a switch) I enjoy the power play that a girl having a dick brings to the table? Idk, it's confusing even for me.
I'm not specifically looking to meet a Herm though. Sure, that'd be really cool! I mean you can't beat the real thing, right? But what I REALLY want is someone who is just as into dickgirls as I am. I want to be able to not only show, but share that side of myself with someone. If that's a girl with a strap on, I'll take her over the real Herm every time.
Jaxson Baker
>my gf indulges it I'm really curious how
I know dick girl =/= trans girl but y'know, it could work lol
Wyatt Green
Phhhh 30? I'm with you, but for me it was like ... 36 and coincided with me being exhausted by work, not being able to get in as much exercise and feeling a bit, fat and middle aged, having lots of stress/pressure in my life (though welcome and chosen by me) and just lack of time. I was still down to bang 6 times a day until recently and now I'm like ... grateful for the urge twice a week. If I've got time off, like 2 weeks or something I'm back to 6 times a week. But yeah compared to my 20's when the urge was all consuming and dictated nearly everything? A difference.
Levi Butler
I REALLY don't see myself dating a trans girl. Despite my love of girl cock, I equally enjoy p-in-v sex.
As for how, she's got a dildo that she's stuffed in her panties while we made out, in place of a strap on. Stuff like that, basically just roleplay in the bedroom. It just feels kind of forced. I kind of feel bad because of that...
Zachary Edwards
This is really motivating and good advice. Good post.
Christian Hernandez
Real life dickgirls aka trannies are never worth relationships. They're exclusively fetish material and shall be treated as such. I just turned 26 and I too enjoy futa and traps, yet I live with a cute girl that doesn't mind (she's got her own odd kinks). It has never gotten in our way for anything as far as I can think of it, and of course we keep it between us as it should be. Keep enjoying it, keep fucking your gf, and try to forget the idea that you could ever be happier by dumping your babe for a tranny.
Kevin Jenkins
ok user your gay, so what. go date a tranny if thats what you want go do it. you are 20 young and dumb. you want to ruin ur early life for a tranny go ahead be my guest you got time to kill. hopefully by 25 you will snap out of it and go for ar eal girl, but for now sure go ahead be gay and accept urself for being gay. who cares
John Fisher
Holy kek get into something more mainstream like cat girls or something
Colton Barnes
Yeah this is... something lmao
Your poor gf
Christopher Bell
Man, the difference in Night Jow Forums and Day Jow Forums replies is fucking hilarious!
Kevin Garcia
Thank God my fetishes are all vanilla. Not trying to troll or be an asshat or anything, but be glad your GF actually tries to indulge this at all and doesn't just leave you because she thinks you're gonna go out and jerk off a dude. Your fetish is not a normal one, and the fact that your girl not only accepts it, but actually tries to participate in it, is a testament to how good you have it.
OP, you're in a perfectly good spot here. You just need to work on your communication with your gf.
If you aren't really sexually compatible, then you need to have a conversation about transitioning out of a monogamous sexual relationship (assuming that's what you presently have). I'm sure there are other people she would want to have sex with, and if what makes you happiest is dickgirls (which she's not), then there's nothing wrong with just remaining as you are, but dropping the expectations of limiting your sexuality to each other.
It's not like you have to "break up," you're just changing the parameters of the relationship.
Write some stuff out and read it to her as a letter/speech; ask her to consider what you say and ask whatever questions she has, and talk it the fuck out.
