I find dorky guys who are sweet, just a little awkward to be cute. But the way this guy I’m taking to ain’t so cute

I find dorky guys who are sweet, just a little awkward to be cute. But the way this guy I’m taking to ain’t so cute.

>this fucking neet (he’s 19 goes to college but doesn’t have a job has his mom drive him to college) acts like a brat. I looked past it before because I thought it was a one time thing but I was wrong. For clarification he was moving too fast, told him I wasn’t comfortable with that and he made this whole ordeal about how he felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable. Which at the time I found to be endearing like, this dude feels bad, I want to help him get better at talking to girls so I give him another chance.

I kind of grow to like him more. I try to get him to talk more, didn’t really grownso much from that.

We talked about what we would do on a date, I asked him when he’d be back after the semester but he wouldn’t tell me. He wanted me to drive up to his college which is two hours away. But then one other time he was coming back a few times but for family things.

While he was in town he asked me if I wanted to come over. AT 12 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

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Continued

Told him no, id rather plan out an official date so we can actually get to know each other. Made it very clear before that I don’t want a hookup.
>”yeah me too”

Later down the line he stops talking, I give him a break just for a few days because I’m busy with college and work.

>Get back to him and try to make conversation
>”end of the semester is coming fast!”
>him “yeah”
Try to get a more engaging response
>”you’ll have to tell me all about it when we meet up!”
>him “yeah”

he fucking one words me
So I call him out on it.

>”are you not interested anymore? Because I really wanted to give you a chance”

Are you asking for advice or are you just bitching?

>him “no I am haha I’m just busy with friends, sorry if I don’t answer”
>”oh okay well feel free to get back to me when you have more time on your hands. It just felt like you weren’t putting much effort into the conversation.”
>him “yeah I’m sorry, I’ll be able to talk in a little bit. I don’t mean to put no effort in, I just can’t talk every second”

Bitch, I’m not texting you every second every day, I wanted to get back in touch with you as the semester comes to an end so we can plan to meet up (didn’t tell him that)

Says he’ll get back to me. So I wait a few days. Still doesn’t talk. So I’m assuming he’s either busy or is just being a little shit but I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

What do you do in this situation? I kind of want to meet up with him to see how he is in person and if he constantly acts like this regularly OR maybe it’s a misunderstanding.

why would a girl choose to save a man like this?

Asking for advice it’s just a long long post

This is where I have my question sorry i should’ve started with it

Idk I’m hopeless I give too many chances
I don’t feel like completely abandoning this but I am pissed at this situation and I don’t know how to go about it.

If he wont just make plans and date you then its on you for not seeing the red flags

Oh I noticed them but I was under the impression that he’s just a retard that doesn’t know how to plan shit

Ok maybe I am dumb for thinking I could give him a chance

Serious answer? No bullshit?

Meet up with him once, JUST to reaffirm to yourself what you already know. He's an insecure man child that will play too-cool-for-you in order to bolster his own ego. After that, you're free to do whatever the fuck you want with him. Call him out. Tell him he's a bitch. Tell him he needs to change his fucking attitude. Tell him to call you again once he gets over himself. It's your call.

The thing is, I think you already know the answer to your own question. I'm just going to say it out loud for your own benefit.

If you're looking for an adorkable guy, they can be hit or miss. They might just be incels in hiding. Make sure they actually have a job and not years of pent up anger.
Your story and his behavior tell me that he's not interested. Just accept it and move on even if you have crush.

Im a retard who cant plan but i at least go places and see people when its convenient for them. Hes got really wierd priorities if he isnt actively trying to meet you

Shit dude I never thought of it that way. I mean now taking my experience and what you’re saying into consideration, I need to be more aware of this holy hell

For real though, I thought for sure that he actually wanted to meet up but he’s choosing to be really inconvenient which is a shame.

But kudos for you for at least trying dude I would take that over this pansy

I think it would be so satisfying to be able to tell him that to his face but at the same time I’m not a very confrontational person. It’s somethjng I’m currently working on.

I like where you’re going with that though. At the same time I kind of want to show him that he doesn’t have to put up that kind of front. I’m conflicted so I’ll give myself the time and think it over

You dont choose husband. Universe chooses husband for you.

You can't change him, user. Only he has the power to change himself-- and frankly, sometimes they just don't want to.

I say if you really want him, wait a few years until he learns to grow up, then you can come back and meet a newer, handsomer version of that dude.

You make a good point user. I’ve been reflecting on this earlier these few months, maybe not your exact words but along those lines.

I just want to find love and find someone that I can love. Ive been searching too much. I want to give it a break so bad.

Like last year I gave up on it and focused on my graphic design degree and I made some kick ass art. Nothing was dictating my happiness other than my will to be self motivated.
I don’t feel the same. I fell for someone this year and they treated me bad and I keep thinking that will be the last time I’ll be able to feel something like that

Maybe I should deliberately ask him if he’s always been this way?

lol that probably wouldn’t end well would it? But in all honesty I wish I could have an open conversation with him about this but I feel like he would just get defensive.
I’m still mad at him and I feel like just cutting him off. But maybe it’ll grant some some merit if I do wait like you suggest. IF I’m lucky enough for him to give me the time of day maybe it’ll pay off who knows.

All I know is I’m mad but mostly sad that I tried to get closer to someone only to be treated like this. Why the fuck do people raise their kids to be like this dude?? Or maybe it’s how society shaped him from his experiences? I don’t fucking know

You know, there's another option. I haven't tried it myself, and I've never heard any stories of people doing this, so I don't know if it'll work, but if you want to experiment a little just to see what will happen, try calling him out the next time you see him, and then meeting up with him several months later and being all like "Wow, you changed! You look so different! It's like you're a whole new man!"

Right now, the ball is in his court and he's dictating everything and deflecting and generally being fake, but if you launch a pre-emptive strike while his guard is lowered, your berating and ranting might be enough to actually hurt him where he's sensitive, and when he meets you again far into the future, he'll remember that you're someone who's not to be fucked with, and that if he wants a chance with you, he needs to be honest and fair.

I know people like him because I used to be a petty, insecure teenager myself, but that's the thing. You're supposed to grow out of it when you're no longer a teen. It's all self-inflicted. Instead of facing the real world, they find it's easier to just play videogames and watch anime as a kid.

Then, when highschool is over, they realize they fucked up, but by then it's too late, and the apathetic cycle continues. In my case, instead of getting insecure around Stacy and Chad, I realized I needed to grow up, and that was that. There are people who do grow up, and there are people who don't. You can't know for sure who's who until it's too late and he's already in his 30's.

You just have to know that it's not your fault, and the guy is still mentally a kid. You're not psychic. You couldn't have known the future. He deliberately duped you, and there's very little anyone can really do about that unless they have major trust issues and are always on guard, but you don't want to live like that.

Maybe I’ll do just that and see what comes of it.

Thanks for the idea and the insight user

>neet
>college
What?

A lot of guys his age are at the point in their lives when they may rediscover themselves. The way you paint this guy it does sound like he's a brat and maybe had it too easy. If his mum's driving him all the time to school at his age that may be a sign, may. It depends, when I was that age no way in hell I was going to speak to women I had enough trouble trying to open up to people in general. Culture shock I guess, since most of my life I was only around mostly kids of my own ethnicity. The world opening up all of a sudden can do that to you. Eventually and I mean years later I started looking at the world differently and did a lot of reflecting. I went as far as changing my ID because I thought I wasted my life up until that point. Oh well, at least I'm at peace with myself.

Maybe he could learn a thing or two from you, or perhaps time will do that for me like you said.

If you actually are going to do that, unironically keep in contact with me and tell me what happens. I've NEVER seen that tactic being used or discussed anywhere, and I'm very eager to see if it'll work or if it'll fail.

I tried asking people on other advice forums if they've heard of that tactic, and no one has ever seen it being done in practice before, so if it actually ends up working, I will be very pleased knowing I just invented one more trick in the dating world arsenal.

When you compliment him, you'r supposed to imply that he's much more mature and emotionally developed by the way. You're supposed to be like "Wow, you sure are a great listener, and you're so honest too! I love it!", and the idea is, the positive validation is supposed to trick him into thinking he actually did mature, and he'll begin to start putting things into perspective and begin doing some growing on his own. You just have to incept the seed of self growth in his head first. Essentially, you have to pavlov response him by praising him for honesty and for not being a bitch.

I guess I wouldn't actually be inventing anything, as manipulating people is as old as time, but it'd still be nice to know if the tactic would work or not in the real world.

I think he might have had a job before but quit for whatever reason.

I assumed he would come back to work after each semester because when I asked him where he works he told me he doesn’t.

My point was:
>a young person who is no longer in the education system and who is not working or being trained for work
Anyway good luck with your problem.

Should I initiate this tactic in the works after a second meet up?

I haven’t officially met up with him in person for a first yet. So I’m wondering how I should approach his behavior on the first date..or maybe leave it be and observe and take in what he’s saying how he acts.

He might be different in person I don’t know.
Psych is so interesting I’m glad I took that as an elective in college.

If this works out I’ll try to get back and make a post on it if I can remember or if things actually go to plan. Could be beneficial to others.

What should it be called?

Ahhhh gotcha
Yeah thanks it’s a project I can tell you that lol

He's probably got some combination of tall/good frame/good face even if OP doesn't say so.

If that kind of bullshit bothers you find someone else who has more motivation in life. So many people are go-getters, if you consider yourself to be one of them don't try to be with someone who's not, they'll just make you unhappy.

I never said he was ugly, I thought he was cute until these things popped up sigh his attidute.

That is a very good point as well.

Actually, yeah, that's a good point. The first meeting should be all about observation and giving him a chance.

If he actually did grow up? Sweet, no need to do it. If he didn't grow up? Start planning to chew him out for everything wrong the next time you meet him. I never took psych, but since you did, you can incorporate what you learned to make it even more effective, when necessary.

As for naming it, I want to put my own name in there like a bonafide scientist, but since this is Jow Forums, I don't know. In fact, I'll leave it up to you, as you'll be doing all the dirty work and I just have to sit back and wait for the results. Just make sure to credit Jow Forums in the sources if it ends up working fabulously and becomes a psychological phenomenon.

I’ll have to look back at my notes for something useful in this scenario, I passed the class with a. C so don’t expect too too much from me lol

I like your ideas and charisma user, thanks for the help and I hope things go well for you in life too. Or at least overcome any obstacles coming your way.

you might be obsessing too much, this guy clearly trying to do 2 things. Act distant only to get you to think about him,which is working, or he simply got bored with you. This happens with us guys to girls all the time. They act like a dork but is bit like a brat then do what he did with you, only no sex, and get us to think about them.
I would suggest, if you are strong enough, to move stop talking to him.

>Neet
>Goes to college

Pick one

He lost interest after you scolded him for being too interested too soon because it made you feel uncomfortable (God forbid!)

He mighta resented you for a little while. Probably why he snubbed you on text. But at this point, he doesn't care enough to even feel the need to pander to you at all.

But it's not like you really give a shit either right? I mean, judging from the uber-liberal dose of insults directed at him, you would think that you'd want nothing to do with him and welcome his silence. But no, that would make too much sense.

would you like to be me a chance instead? pretty please.

>trying so hard to get some loser
What the hell, OP?

>give him a break just for a few days because I’m busy with college and work
>Get back to him and try to make conversation
>”end of the semester is coming fast!”
>him “yeah”
Why would you still bother after that? If the guy can't be bothered to put at least a bit effort into it, he ain't worth it.

Stop being retarded retard

Imagine tolerating this shit just because hes good looking

It's like handsome people live a different life in parallel to the rest of us

You are really stupid.

I know I can be for sure lol I’m trying to learn from this shit user

This is what he looks like from the dating app we matched on (happn)

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More recent pic. Kind of glad he got rid of the neck beard

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Incels are allowed to go to college user

Why are you wasting your time on this neckbeard? From what's outlined in your posts it's obvious he doesn't give a shit and is just a manchild

Jesus fucking Christ
Find someone more attractive, this nigga is a ticking time bomb

lmao i hate to be a dick but that guy makes me look like dicaprio

NEETs and incels are a different fucking thing though. Although just going to college sounds pretty NEET-y, so the user is wrong.

How do you look to be interested in a 3-4?

>Although just going to college sounds pretty NEET-y

No it doesn't, NEET is "not in education or employment" he's 100% not a NEET.

Ehhhh I don’t know how I’d gage myself. Maybe a 6?

Yeah idk why I started to like him I think it was just how things started out he seemed kind of innoceant and sweeet but obviously that turned out not to be the case

There is one other guy in my area that’s kind of decent looking but on our date he didn’t even realize it was a date until I pointed it out. Idk I think he just wanted a buddy to get drinks with and that’s it because that’s all he talks about. Very lack luster interaction, he told me about how he high jacked a car and was basically a thug so I didn’t really feel safe around him. Seemed like a chill dude would rather be just friends tho.

He asked me to mail his birth certificate one time over snap chat...I don’t know wat to make of that. Really fucking odd thing to ask of someone you only met once in person

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I guarantee, guys are almost never as innocent as women. A guy like this has been a virgin most of his life, and has watched as others got things he never has from the sidelines in envy.

He's going to fucking explode, not to mention he's a manchild. You're going to end up in an abusive relationship with some insecure neckbeard

What do you mean by “explode”?

Ew. It has no soul

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Always thought the distinction was for school, since no one expects kids to work. Not having a job while in college sounds as sheltered as the average NEET.

What's with the half-stache. I wouldn't feel save around that either and I'm a guy.

How the fuck do you find such subpar dudes, do you live in some flyover state or something?

I hate to say this to a woman. But I can't let this go.


You have a very bad taste in men.


Both guys you listed are either going to be serial killers or woman beaters. Choose your man wisely. I'm no chad, but holy fuck. I'm sure you can find a decent man at college. Isn't that what college is for?

As in every time you make a minor transgression against him, or do something that makes him insecure he'll put you down

>asks you to send him your birth certificate
>jacks cars
Stay away from these trailer trash psychopaths

No he wanted me to send HIS birth certificate but that’s besides the point, yeah I’m gonna cut ties with him.

He sucks at making conversation anyways.

Holy shit dude that got me lol

Yeah I can see that happenin with him.

I send him snaps and he doesn’t even send any back he just opens them. Doesn’t say shit or send any

Where do you look for dorky guys btw?

This faggot sounds lame

>I find dorky guys who are sweet, just a little awkward to be cute
No you don't. What you want is a reserved chad.

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Dude looks like a gremlin and you're putting up with this shit? What's in it for you if he's a cunt and doesn't even look good to balance that off any? Goodness, OP

I don’t really have a specific source I’ve been just using dating apps. I use happn, which is a dating app that tracks your location and matches you with people who have the app that you pass by


Maybe I’ll go visit my local game shop. I’ve been meaning to get into dnd anyways so maybe I can find a decent one? Idk I need to find someone I can like look wise and has a nice personality that doesn’t act shitty lol

observe this thread gentlemen. this right here is class 1 female retardation. giving all of her love and time to shitty guys, ugly guys, shitty/ugly guys, and for no apparent reason. amazing. what a waste
its also the reason they shouldnt be on this website. tits or gtfo broad

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Shouldn't it give the losers hope? Or at least show them how easy it'd be if they weren't complete human trashbags, when even these guys get female attention?

nope. completely random and undeserved. they learn nothing, and the guys who work hard and better themselves for a gf get nothing. everybody loses and the dating market gets further fucked. this is the problem with a sellers (female) market

Are these the only guys you have matched with? They dont seem to be a catch for anyone

I want a more attractive guy believe me, most of them are taken fuck me lol

Op here
It would just help if he were less salty I don’t know what is problem is maybe it’s because I called him out on his shit and the fact that he was moving too fast.

I seriously do want to give him another chance but I wish he would get over that shit so we can meet up and possibly get over that crap.

Or maybe he won’t change idk

There were was this dude but the conversation didn’t go anywhere. He used a different picture before I don’t remember what his other picture looked like

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I was trying to be funny/trying to start a conversation but I think I was too wordy

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Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but I hope he cuts out his attitude.

I don’t know maybe if I’m nice enough he’ll drop the act but at this point Im kijdnof siding with the anons who are saying he’s a piece of shit for acting like this. He’s not putting in any effort to talk to me even

YEAh maybe that’s a better definition. How do I find them user?
okay to be honest first look at him when we matched I was thinking the same thing. Not very attractive but I wanted to give him a chance and get to know him

Also what’s a good example of a reserved chad? Do you have any references?

I don't know. Pick up your phone and make a tindr or something. I've heard women play on easy modo.

Here’s another pic of him I don’t know who’s he’s supposed to be dressed as but he kind of has serial killer vibes

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I gave up on tinder. I have one but most of the guys I’ve talked who had come clean said they just want hook ups but now we just casually talk.

OP, Jesus Christ, your taste in men is dog shit. Do better.

Is that blackface?

I thought it was a Steve Harvey mask but maybe it counts as both Idk

When I went and found this on his profile I found it to be jarring lol

I really do, I don’t know why I always end up coming across assholes like these. Maybe I should quit dating apps? Last time I did that the guy turned out to be a piece of shit. That isn’t to say every guy will be like that tho

He lives with his family, I had to pick him up because something was wrong with his car, not entirely sure if he was telling the truth. This was before he told me that he stole a car and got chased down by police for that and got in trouble for other things. When we talked over drinks he told me his dad keeps on top of his ass making sure he does a bunch of chores basically making sure he stays busy for whatever reason.

My guess is that his own dad probably doesn’t even trust him

Bumble or OkCupid for relationships.

You will still get a lot of shitters but there are more people on those looking for relationships.

Just to clarify I’m talking about this guy
not the neck beard

Okayyy maybe I’ll give bumble a second chance.

Okcupid seems fine but I hate that you have to pay for it

It sucks you have to pay, but it's lack of immediate access that creates the filter to reduce the number of shit options. Assholes who don't want to try and just waste your time (like the guys you've posted about in this thread) aren't going to want to pay either.

Bumble is a bit the same, can't select women yourself so if you actually want something you have try.

Okay you’ve sold me on it, you’re right that makes it worth the money

Good luck. How it goes well.

Thank you i hope so too!

>Okcupid seems fine but I hate that you have to pay for it
wut no you don't
The free version works as well as the free version of any other dating app

Anyway this thread is demoralizing. Op should post what she looks like.

Is this dude really 30? wtf

Yeah I was a little skeptical too when we met in person. Seems younger holy shit

Honestly i can’t be sure.

I know there’s a trial for it that’s for free but If I want to see more matches you have to pay.

Eh I was considering posting a pic but at the same time I’m always paranoid that someone’s going to try to hunt me down and murder me if I post a pic of myself on here. You guys are cool but like, that’s always in the back of my head

>this guy ain't so cute
>neet
>mom drives him
>acts like a brat
>socially retarded
>doesn't seem to be very interested
So why the fuck are you attracted to him?

At this point, I'm convinced that attraction really does come down to pheromones or some shit. If you have the right pheromones, you get women, if you don't, you're screwed. Doesn't matter what you look like, how you act or what your job is. Pheromones.

I've seen fit socially aware decent guys with nice income struggle to find someone, and I've seen wife-beating alcoholics with a fugly face have women crawl after them. There's just no other explanation. Pheromones, guys.

I think i just romanticize the idea of showing guys like this how they’re able to be accepted or find love/be loved even if they think they can’t.

But at the same time I need to put myself first and not let people walk all over me with this kind of behavior.