Hey guys

Why do men put so much value on a thin membrane of skin? Virginity is over rated.

Understandable, but being someone that's a virgin, I consider virginity just as important as someone who say wants to have children, wants to be active in her life in various ways, or has certain personality traits.

It's not something that is unreasonable or far-fetched in seeking out just like those other things aren't either.

Various reasons really. Any productive advice?

>upset
Kek, do you even know where you are? We get "where to get pure virgin waifu?" threads every other day by demi-incels. Of course we assume you are another unsensitive dime a doze guy.
>standards like I have for myself
Look deep into yourself user. Is it a standard, or an insecurity because you've never had sex before? If it is a standard, tell us why. Are you truly religious? Is it your moral code? Do you hold the moment of deflowering as the hight of intimacy? The learning curve as a sign of trust?
>like minded person
Well, you need to give more deets about that. All we know so far is that you are "serious minded". What sort of person are you looking for?

I am virgin myself, and I've never considered virginity in my partner to be of any importance whatsoever.
While if I want to have children and my partner doesn't, then we factually can't stay together because it's not like I can have children while they don't (I mean, technically yes, but it'd be quite fucked up).. there's no problem with them being non virgin and me being virgin. It doesn't influence our relationship in any significant way.

Lol the virgin girl says she won't sleep with guys that only want to fuck virgins
I see holes in your statement

>virgin
I don't think you can. Maybe in the Middle East or the rural parts of East Asia. Cityfolk are trash all around no matter where you go.

Fair point.

I don't feel insecure desu. I have had many moments with girls that I could have given myself to but I just didnt feel they were right for me. One of those reasons was due to them not being a virgin/having lost their virginity in a dishonorable way.
I'm not a socially closeted person either. Just a pretty normal European guy who has traveled and lived in numerous different countries.

It's a mixture of moral code, religious reasons, and pinnacle of trust/devotion/innocence etc.
I think it's really messed up how much of society tells people it doesnt matter or is "over rated" only for them to have real regrets and issues later on in life about how they lost it. It isn't some joke nor is sex.

Well I obviously would want her to want to have children and marry. As well as be kind, loving to people and animals, and family-oriented. Religious if possible but if not then just compassionate.

There aren't any holes in my statement.
I want to date a guy who likes me, not a guy who wouldn't date me if he didn't get to take my virginity.

My thoughts exactly. I'm still sure she's kind though and wish her the best even if she may not for me.

Date girls within your circle.
Don’t concentrate on the virgin aspect, find a decent girl and don’t go digging in her past. If later on it’s discovered she has had sex before, don’t start asking about the other dude, she’s with you not her past.

I honestly wish someone would of told me this. I lost my virginity to a gothic stripper when I was 22. Really fell hard, and fucked it all up because I was insecure about her past.

Later went on to marry a virgin whom is cousins of a girl I flirted with in high school. Sex wasn’t enjoyable at all the first 3 times, but she explained it was my size that hurt her. That’s just my opinion, I’m sure there’s plenty of short dick dudes who thought virgin pussy felt amazing...to me pussy feels the same regardless. Home is where you make it, don’t get hung up on virginity, it doesn’t really change how sex feels. The only benefit to marrying a virgin is they fall head over heels in love with you.

I hear you, you want a relationship based on love and trust, not certain physical characteristics

>"Oh I want someone who is a 5'5, 130 lbs, blonde" is creepy
Assuming it's a preference and a person looks beyond, how?

Though yeah, obviously virgin seekers are creepy and have issues.

> lost their virginity in a dishonorable way
Case in point.

I just find it such a silly thing to get so hung up on, when it's already so difficult to find a person you genuinely click with and who is compatible with you. I want a relationship with a person I deeply connect with, someone who enriches my life, challenges me, makes me grow and makes me feel happier around him.
I don't want to meet up with someone, make sure I check his checklist and he checks mine, then we date and get married. It seems so soulless and empty.

>make sure I check his checklist and he checks mine
Practically it does absolutely happen though, even if your checklists are explicit and as rigid.

>Assuming it's a preference and a person looks beyond, how?
I explained it here, I guess: In general I think that we should try to date with as little restrictions as possible. I have a pretty odd personality and for me it is so rare to find a person I form a genuine connection with. I try to date with as little restrictions as possible, without too many ideals and preferences in mind, because I don't want to find myself with a person I truly connect with but that falls shortly in some way because they aren't my dream husbando. I would never throw away a genuine connection, or even worse be in a relationship with someone I resent because they can't keep up with my imagination.

Heh, stop hijacking the thread.

>normal European
No you're not. You're a Burger. Nobody here in Europe gives a shit about virginity.

Damn man.. Sorry you went through that but I'm glad it all worked out for you in the end.

So you're biggest advice would be to just keep to an inner circle? How old were you when you married your girl?

Exactly

From the heart of Europe originally. If you know where that is or referencing, congrats, you might just be European too

The thread is shit, and providing a different perspective isn't hijacking.

>we should try to date with as little restrictions as possible
Sure but if you, say don't find fat people attractive, like AT ALL, does it really make sense to bother? When it comes to personality it's a lot more complicated of course, but say you're very tidy and your potential mate is a total slob with no desire to change, but pretty great beyond that, how much would a genuine connection really help?

Virgin seekers are still cray tho. Instead of looks or personality, it picks on a single experience. "I don't want to date people who watched Game of Thrones" would be just as insane.

It’s relationships, sometimes you make a bad choice, but you gotta keep trying to make the right ones for yourself. I married at 26, she was 20.

>originally
>it's the Ameritmutts pretending to be Europeans episode

I really appreciate you giving me solid advice man. Sometimes it feels kind of lonely out here but now that I know that I just have to keep trying and let things happen and not settle, then maybe things will actually work out. Any other pieces of advice? I'm still young and just want to make sure I do things right as you were able to :/

The obligatory questions. Why do you specifically want a virgin? And how will you know she is one?

Well because I want to share that part of myself with someone as well. Something we can both have that is special to eachother. I hope she will simply be honest. I am aware that sometimes women dont have a hymen and are still virgins just as I am aware that they can also surgically reconstruct that part of them as well.

To answer OP's question, I think that outside of rural and religious areas, academia may be your best bet. I do research in a STEM field and know at least a couple women in their early to mid twenties who would fit the bill. Thus far they've focused on their studies, are generally reclusive, and a little bit homely or at least don't put much effort into their appearance. Perhaps the most significant factor is that they prefer not to drink alcohol. Another group you might find luck with is, ironically enough, man-hating feminists. And for a more refined search method, you could try online dating sites (and I mean sites, not apps). Based on a girl's profile, you can gain a fairly accurate impression of her social circle, and if that circle doesn't exist then you can probably infer the same about relationships.

I obviously was referring to having an extensive and rigid list of traits that a potential SO has to check.
Obviously everyone has traits they kind of gravitate towards when it comes to an SO, but really dating with a strict checklist in mind is unhealthy and childish.

I wouldn't date someone I'm not physically attracted to at all. I never argued for that. I doubt anyone is *only* attracted to 5'5, 130 lbs, blonde women.
About the tidy/messy thing: I think that when two people care for each other, they try to compromise and improve themselves in order to please the other person. My father is a slob and my mother is very tidy. My mom over the years became less of a nazi and my dad learnt to clean after himself.
I think that a person who loves me will try to improve, and I will be patient because I love them.

I have thought about going back to school for my Master's and then trying to socialize again there with girls that are hopefully so. Another is going on religious retreats, volunteering, etc. Last ditch effort is maybe living somewhere off the beaten path for a bit in the world where it's still respected.

What dating sites would you say recommend?

Thank you so much for constructive input

Honestly I’m still learning myself. Even in healthy relationships, there’s times when you’ll get stressed and want to just walk away. 50% say it was worth walking away, 50% say it was worth staying and working things out. Mainly you have to be honest with yourself.

My personal advice from experience, if you date someone significantly younger, you’ll need a lot of patience to teach them pretty much everything while dealing with their families opinions and back talking.
Also don’t ever get shitfaced with them, having a few drinks and getting buzzed is usually fun, but if you two get irresponsibly drunk, 100% you will fight and it will mess with the entire dynamics of the relationship.

When it comes to dating within your circle, I personally think it’s easier and better. Because you’ll hear stories from friends, and you won’t have to deal with being dragged out to meet her friends and awkwardly sit and be ignored. Although the downside of dating within your circle is if the relationship ends badly, you know the obvious reason.

You'd need to find a female version of yourself. Someone as unhinged. Good luck.

>medicine
>not populated by the biggest alcoholics in STEM
Where even are you?

The only dating site I've ever tried is OKCupid. Maybe I just have a good eye, but when I used it, it was pretty easy to spot the inexperienced women. A lot of them display similar traits to Jow Forums users so it was easy for me to pick up on. They were also by far more likely to message me first, probably because they're unaccustomed to receiving overwhelming male attention. You might have better luck with paid dating sites, or not. I really can't say since I haven't used them.

This, but replace STEM with "non-humanitarian or artistic fields". I guess they need to cope somehow.

I gotcha. I think it'll only ever be too late when I give up or settle, and I don't plan on doing either.

It can really mess with a person when they've never had young love or shared innocence so I just hope I can keep myself focused enough and true to what I'm looking for. Society needs to stop telling people that sex isn't important. I cannot tell you how many men and especially women this blight has burdened. It's like we try to lie to ourselves so much just as several in this thread do and I find that quite sad...

Makes sense. I have also heard that paying for dating apps works better too. Kind of cuts out the nonsense if that makes sense. Did you ever have any luck with any of your advice?
Thanks again.

I don't know any medfags, but I'm in geology which is also renowned for being full of alcoholics. So, if you meet a girl in a field like that, who has resisted social pressure and chooses not to indulge in liquor, then that tells you something about what kind of person she is. I myself prefer not to drink, but now drink a small amount when I'm out with others simply for the social gains. It doesn't change my behaviour at all, but people treat you differently. They see you as "part of the group" rather than an outsider. However, in OP's case, he will largely be looking for outsider women.

I got a lot of dates when I used online services, simply by being straightforward and gentle. However, I'm a really good looking guy so your results may vary. Unfortunately, I'm also sexually traumatized and have a bad habit of deleting my account when the date arrives because I'm terrified of intimacy.

Hi OP, I'm a virgin woman. I am a virgin because anime men are much better than men like you, and that will never change. Deal with it.

Exactly. I actually regretted losing my virginity. I honestly felt bad for my wife when I took hers.
Years later she confessed that she felt cheated because she wished we both could’ve experienced sex together for the first time.

I personally can’t get hung up on it, so it’s not important to me anymore, but if I could see into the future, I would’ve saved myself for my wife. Plus, I personally think the main reason why I wanted to marry a virgin was not because of some taboo of exploring uncharted muff, but avoiding STDs and all the hang ups women have when they have had sex before. Really, most women will base your every action on dudes who fucked them over in the past, and it’s a serious headache trying to explain you deserve a clean slate, which they never gave you in the first place.

You’re a virgin because you’re weird, ugly, and have standards way way WAY out of your options.

Go listen to more BTS and cuddle your inuyasha plushie.

And I'm happy like that, as all virgin women are, unlike you OP who deserve to always be alone and never get with any woman at all.

I'll be honest bud I don't think that is a worthwhile criteria to seek out actively, like other people are saying. You're entitled to want whatever you want, but it is just going to be such an ugly thing that women will find out about if you voice it.
Personally I think you are better off just looking for a meaningful relationship and setting aside the hangup on virginity. If you can't do that, I don't really have advice for you other than good luck.
I was never hung up on the virginity thing myself and my first time was with a girl I loved absolutely dearly and it was great for me. We dated for years and things didn't work out but I don't have any regrets there, and I'm happy that wasn't a concern for me. If I think about refusing her or moving onto someone else just because she wasn't a virgin at the time, that just seems so fucking stupid, even in hindsight.

I 100% agree with you. Many women have tried to be with me that weren't virgins. I'm not some basement-dwellinh unattractive guy. But most times I found that they had so many issues from past relationships that I found I didn't want to sleep with them or even think about the consequences of doing so.

Many thanks man. Speaking with you really helped. Won't soon forget.

I’m not even op, I’m the guy who fucked the goth stripper and married a virgin. Try harder loser lol

Thanks again man. I truly wish you the best of luck out there.

You're a shitposter that needs to post shit to feel validated, might well be OP

>shitpost
>gets called out for shitposting
>calls others shitposters

Oh snap, you got butthurt as fuck huh fat girl?

I know what you are feeling user, this is a feeling that most men have. To have a woman who is untainted by other men is normal male behaviour, or used to be before the sexual revolution. This is only tolerated by a man if the person himself is of loose moral character and has had several emotionally detached sexual encounters before, and even then every man would want to marry a virgin wife, no matter how characterless they themselves are.
There are just too many closed minded people here who have really drank up the sexual liberation cool-aid.

A person's past is a part of their identity, their psyche, and their overall personality.
You cannot just erase memories.
Its never just their past.

you dont find it a bit funny that you call everyone else close minded and you're the one that would only be accepting of a virgin?
a normal person would be accepting either way, virgin or not, but for you it's virgin or nothing?
just a bit ironic my little friend

>Where or how to find virgin girl/wife in the present-day?
ugly girls

Exactly the type of responseI was expecting. There is a lot of social pressure in this day to be open minded, but only in a special certain way, otherwise you are close minded. Which is really a closed minded way of thinking, dont you think?
Open minded doesnt mean accepting of major personality functions, especially of someone you are getting involved in emotionally. Also refer to this post

Thank you brother. You said what most wont and you're 100% right. Dont ever apologize for being right in a world full of so much wrong.

Well I know that now...and I have grown up from it.

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself.

That's fucking stupid.

> Lol the blonde girl says she won't sleep with guys that only want to fuck blonde girls
I see holes in your statement

It literally doesnt make any sense

i think only accepting one thing (virgin or nothing) is close minded, where accepting a person regardless of if they are a virgin or not is open minded, in the specific situation that we are talking about here
i dont have an issue with you or op wanting a virgin girl, but just about everyone else - primarily the virgin girls themselves - will have an issue with it, so what i think doesnt matter in that regard
honestly at the end of the day, it just limits your own options, in a pretty severe way because of how sexually liberated things are during these times, and that almost entirely ends up hurting yourself
i absolutely positively wish you 2 the best of luck in finding your pure virgin girl to marry and have kids with, thats the ideal, but going to be tough for you guys to find, especially if you are specifically, openly searching for it

If you think non-virgins have issues just wait until you date a virgin. You'll be in for a surprise.

That's a vulgar interpretation of "being open minded" and hardly better than "if you're so tolerant, why don't you tolerate me being intolerant?". It's kiddy logic, mate.

Spot on 100%

There is only really three choices
>A deeply religious girl
>A 1/10 hamplanet with more cats than teeth
>Someone that is fucked up in the head and suffers from severe Disney princess syndrome

Each to their own i guess, but i just find this mindset so strange. Finding genuine love is not that easy, and with this particular criteria your dating pool shrinks quite substantially.

I see the same graph passed around here that virgins who get married have more "stable marriages", which might very well be true, but imo that has nothing to do with virginity but more with the fact that these people are probably deeply religious so divorce is off the table

The boomer generation divorced like crazy because many of them ended up marrying their first serious relationship. Meanwhile, divorcerates today are plummeting:

bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-09-25/millennials-are-causing-the-u-s-divorce-rate-to-plummet

Not saying that it's not possible to hit gold on your first swing, but it's pretty damn unlikely and the vast majority of people will have to go through a couple of relationships (and sex partners) before they find the right one.

How is having a standard of people who is going to be a very if not the most important part of life, being intolerant?
Are you the sort of person that thinks people shouldnt have physical standards too?

Well Im not OP and I've already found my virgin waifu and married her. :DD
We also have very similar interests, social and economic background, moral values, and she is a very mature and intelligent person in general, and childish/cute in most of the conversation, which I like.

Because this specific standard is built on tons of speculations and judgements, and more likely than not held together by own insecurity. Plus of course there is the whole fetishistic aspect that seems just icky. Although I'd rather use "closed minded" than "intolerant".

OP here. Glad it worked out for you :)

What is your advice on this?
How old are you both?
How did you two come to meet?
Thank you in advance

We met through my childhood best freind, who was a mutual freind of her. (I never had a large circle of freinds, he did )
We are 27
Although we are of Asian origin so it might not be the same for you.

You are just making sweeping generalisations.
Most people want someone who they can connect with deeper, and those people usually have the same economic background and moral values.
If you want to go into fetishistic aspect, the whole physical attraction thing is highly specific and fetishistic, and there is nothing wrong with that.
And another thing, all romantic standards are based on speculation judgements.

Thanks man. I wish you both a long and happy future with the best of luck!

Spot on.

Are you that butthurt at virgin women telling you you're so disgusting anime is objectively better than you? Wow. Stay virgin.

>Various reasons
Such as?

>same moral values
Here virginity would only make sense as a must have factor if the person is religious.

> the whole physical attraction thing is highly specific and fetishistic
Sure, and just as creepy if it's "I only want redheads." If it's "I prefer redheads/virgins" it's a totally different thing.

>all romantic standards are based on speculation judgements.
Surely there are some educated guesses mixed in between? Besides, again, it's the rigidness that stands out. Even something like "I want a partner with a degree" leaves a lot room open for human connections and variations compared to virgin chasing.

Quite a few have actually been touched on in here.

- lack of worry about STDs
- lack of emotional and mental instability from men before
- lack of feeling that she may have been taken advantage of or threw herself away
- having more meaning, devotion, innocence.
- doing right by her and her family if possible
- doing things the way they've been done right for literally millennia
- not having to settle or accept less from your partner

And so on and forth

You can’t even talk, can’t even read.

Complete bullshit and wishful thinking about her emotions and stability. Virgins are more likely to leave you and/or cheat on you.

>- lack of worry about STDs
Hahahahaha. American sex ed.

How so?

Says the virgin, mad that virgins don't want him.

This is genuinely the case at least based on my personal experience. Have a few friends who became muh virgin waifus; but they avoided guys who gave a shit about it like the cancer they are.

You’re completely hopeless user

All people were virgin. Most people lost their virginity to a person they were in a relationship with and they loved. Most people didn't marry that person. Your first relationship is extremely likely to end.
If it lasts long enough and you think about settling down, they might experience fear of missing out and cheat on you to see how sex with other people is.

Nigger penis addiction

Its not just the physical aspect of virginity.
For some people, sex is reserved for only a special person, if the girl is not willing to have enough self control to wait till they find that special person, she loses that value. I know, you'll say the act of sex isnt that special, but act of doing it with someone special makes it special.
If you cannot comprehend this, there is no use talking to you about this any further.
>Sure, and just as creepy if it's "I only want redheads." If it's "I prefer redheads/virgins" it's a totally different thing.
So you dont even want to argue and just label things 'creepy' or 'different' without explanation?
>Surely there are some educated guesses mixed in between? Besides, again, it's the rigidness that stands out. Even something like "I want a partner with a degree" leaves a lot room open for human connections and variations compared to virgin chasing.
There are a lot of other rigid things you are missing out on before you even consider virginity.
Social, traditional, and economic similarity is also equally important to many people. Its just that these things make you connect with the person deeper, which would not be possible at all otherwise.
You really do have a rigid and closed minded way of thinking.

This is bullshit.

>For some people, sex is reserved for only a special person, if the girl is not willing to have enough self control to wait till they find that special person, she loses that value.
Unless you wait till marriage and refuse divorce, you can't push this narrative on anybody.

Did I ever say I didnt? I dont hold a different standard for myself.

I don't mean "wait for a special someone", I literally mean "wait till the day you get married before having sex with them, and then never divorce them no matter what happens, and after they die don't have sex with anyone else"

> if the girl is not willing to have enough self control to wait till they find that special person
How would you know she didn't? Finding that special person doesn't mean you're going to stay with them or them with you. Or that they were the special person after all.

Besides, why focus so much on the fucking. A virgin could still tongue fuckloads of guys and remain a virgin, and that would be fine?

>So you dont even want to argue and just label things 'creepy' or 'different' without explanation?
Does it really need an explanation why reducing a person to a single attribute is creepy? "If you didn't have your green eyes, I wouldn't be interesting in dating you" sounds not like something you'd hear from a normal person.

>Social, traditional, and economic similarity is also equally important to many people.
Which is given and makes sense, nor is nearly as rigid as a one singular attribute.