Not okay with my boyfriend watching porn. But am I entitled to have a say in this?

These guys get it
These are Reddit tier white knights

Like a few others have said, it's really your relationship.

I personally don't think that watching porn means i'm visualizing the actress as my gf or other shit like that

Another thing is when im in long term relationships i generally only watch porn when we aren't having sex enough, due to distance or whatever reason, it's not a substitute for the real thing

>the tl;tr sum up from OP is a guy who gets it
Do you even read what you quote from time to time?

You're way fuckin out of line op. idk about other guys but 99% of the time I use porn as an accellerent just to jerk off real fast...like often times if I really need to release it can be as short as a minute or two. Like I put no emotional thought into it, just trying to get off.

Let the poor man look at porn sometimes. It's not a big deal. Get over yourself and don't force your petty insecurities on your bf. Jesus Christ...

Libido differs from person to person. For me having sex once a day is simply not enough, so I usually masturbate in the morning and maybe even during the day, while still having an active life with my wife. If I don't jack it, I feel really pent up and if I go without releasing myself for a week, my balls start hurting. So she needs to take into account her BF's needs as well

Unless he’s leaving porn laying around and spending a shitload of money on cam girls or the like, I can’t see a major issue.

Regardless of anons saying it’s not healthy, confronting him about it and trying to treat it like cheating won’t stop him, he’ll just get better at hiding it from you and/or probably make him feel insecure about being 100% honest with you. Even married men jerk off from time to time. Sometimes it’s because of situations like they don’t want to wake you, you’re sick, or your mad...other times it’s because they just want to fantasize.

The thing about fantasies is they are usually harmless, usually. Most women see porn as cheating, while most men understand porn is visual stimulation, most men understand it’s them touching themselves.

But like I previously said, if he’s spending money on porn and male sex toys, then you are within reason to think it’s a real problem.

Y'all don't need to have sex...just jerk him off and let him rub you off if you want. I know oral is still sex but you seem to imply penetrative so perhaps try that

Feeling so insecure about porn reminds me of myself when I was younger. If you worry about it you probably don't watch it yourself.
It's completely different from the real deal. I talked it out with my bf back then. Obviously sex feels better, but you also just watch it for you know what, while sex with your significant other is also a very emotional thing or at least should be.
Try to relax, maybe look at stuff yourself just to understand how porn is different. Hentai (especially Yaoi when it's written for women) was more approachable to me.
I still don't like it btw, but I'm not as awkward about it anymore.

But I mostly came here to tell you that you shouldn't force yourself to have sex with your bf if you don't want to do it, even if you don't see each other much. It's such an emotional topic, so be true to yourself there and do what feels right for you.

Doesnt matter what anybody else says, you have a right to like or not like things. The best thing you can do is tell your SO honestly how you feel, and once they know it's up to them what they decide to do with that knowledge, and you can base your relationship decisions on their actions after that.

My gf has brought these concerns to me too but i told her how i felt about it too, and that sometimes we dont have sex for weeks and as a guy i simply have to blow my load fairly often or it manifests while you're sleeping and you cum all over the bed which is gross. Ultimately i said if were not having sex that often im going to jerk off. She still doesnt like the thought of me doing it but she knows I do it behind closed doors and basically have a dont ask dont tell policy.

Besides, even if hes not watching porn, he may be jerking off to other things in his head like past relationships or fantasies. You will never truly know and you just have to accept that. In the end you cant control what he thinks or does, just what you do. I would just like to stress the point that makes need to ejaculate often so if you're not doing your part to help that then it's a bit unreasonable to ask him not to masturbate.

How can you possibly see porn as cheating? Crazy controlling britches.

You're entitled to express your feelings to your boyfriend. He's entitled to live his life how he sees fit. You're entitled to leave if you don't like his choice.

>No sorry, I am not okay with my partner giving in sexually to other women
hahahahahaha what the FUCK am I reading?? it's literally just pixels on a screen, dumb bitch

>Dont want to fuck him because I'll cry
>Dont want him to help himself when I wont
Sounds like you're trying to control his sexuality, if the roles were reversed the guy would get beat up or go to jail

I don't usually jump on the woman hating bandwagon. But criticism is due where it's due.

Here's the deal with having a BF/Husband who watches porn. First of all it's very very common, like 90% of men. Male psychology practically demands that we pursue multiple women sexually. But that doesn't make it right. It's just that the DNA programming begs for it. But we're people not animals. I for one think that if a guy is married or in a relationship he should try his hardest not to look at porn, and either fap naturally or have sex with his partner. Porn really does erode at a person's values and sense of quality in life. A quality relationship and constant porn use don't go hand in hand.

But in your case, you don't live together and you're not giving him the amount of sex that he wants. And I would also wager that he has a kink or two that you are not fulfilling. Which while I'm on the subject, you should ask him (without judgement) if he has any sexual desires that he wants to act out with you. That's a big reason many men turn to porn, their woman won't do things that they are into. So in summary, you being mad at him is like a grocery store being mad a shopper purchasing food somewhere else, when the grocer does not supply enough food!

If you don't put out, and you don't put out the way he wants, then you have zero right to complain for him looking at porn. Situations like this is just more evidence why so many men are all MGTOW these days.

Don't weigh his life down with YOUR problems
> but muh depression

Change your life so you can be the sex goddess he needs. If you're putting in 100% and he's still looking at porn then it's on him. Otherwise quit your fucking complaining.

My last girlfriend was super against porn. She hated it, and said she would feel devastated if she knew I was looking at other girls. I thought this was silly, and an obvious sign of insecurity and irrationality, but she put in the effort to make me watching porn pointless. She would initiate sex all the time, continuously say sexy things, take all kinds of pictures and send them to me, push for trying out all of my kinks and fantasies... I never had time to think about watching porn, and if for some reason she wasn't already sucking my dick, I had a ton of pictures of my super hot girlfriend to fap to. And if I didn't have the pictures on hand, she would always be willing to take more or sext with me.

Basically, your control of his porn-watching is unreasonable, but you can mitigate the problem by making porn unnecessary for your boyfriend.

Well, it would be easy to fix his porn issue if you were willing and able to satisfy him whenever he wanted. That's what I have pointed out to several gfs. And it works well... until they stop doing that.

As for you, it's the same thing. If you can't satisfy your bf you really shouldn't make such demands. You can try of course, but it will backfire spectacularly when he feels even more restricted with no recourse.

If you really want him to stop porn, the best thing you can do is fix yourself so that you can satisfy him every day. Failing that, you can make your own porn for him and he can jerk off to that. Video calls, recordings when you have sex, pictures, or phone sex. Given your description of the problem I assume that you're fine with him jerking off to you.

Break up, and seek professional psychologically help.

You are clearly unfit to be involved in a romantic relationship.

I don't watch porn. There are some men who cut porn out of their life even though it's pushed down our throat all the time.

And don't listen to these "muh body muh choice" tier replies, you obviously have a say in what could be your future husband is jacking off to and looking at other naked women every day. They are like the equivalent of feminists, but for men. They are pathetic masturbators who are training themselves to be cuckholds.

you can wank without watching porn, this isn't just about his body needing release or whatever

let me simply start out by a general reply to these. I'll reply more in depth after this

Just a clarification: I'm not against masturbation. I understand that most men and some women really do have their needs. But porn only existed until we had magazines or paper scrolls or whatever. In no way does anyone ever "need" porn unless they are truly addicted. I a guy has to bust a nut, a guy has to bust a nut. And fantasies are something you litteraly can't avoid, and occur in your brain whether you want it or not. Porn is a choice. And I don't blame guys for making a choice that they have been taught is good. But the choice doesn't comply with my sense of morality. This is because the only difference between "porn" and "cheating" is cultural relativism. Inherently it is all an act of getting off to other women. The difference is that it is easily accessable, many people simply do it, and many people simply like it. This is how a culture defines wether something is okay or not. I am simply too skeptical to fall for (large scale or not) biases that I happen to be aware of. Just wanted to make this clear first.

I've been on the other end of this. Only happens when the relationship is stale though. Usually I couldn't care less about porn when single. Or in the first year or two of a relationship. I've been in a 3, 2, 1 and 6yr. Porn starts when the sex slows down. How to fix that? I don't know but as a guy it's definitely a sign that things are headed south. He may not know it yet, but looking back this is definitely correlated to there being a problem with not enough intimacy. I feel bad because from a phsyical standpoint I sort of a beast / high testosterone. Every girlfriend I've had gets too comfort and lazy, so I end up breaking their hearts eventually and I end up with someone much more vital / youthful regardless of she. M 32

I guess I interpret values as flexible things that can bend, improve, or grow based on the way you look at things. I don't think there's really anyone who shares the exact same life idea. You grow towards each other by sharing opinions and points of view. I am not sure if I'm right on this, but I don't think you can ever have a succesfull relationship with anyone if you're not able to change values on whatever makes more sense. What I'm trying to say, is that I don't see the point in trying to look for the right things in other people.

You are completely right that someone should always be able to say what he/she wants. The scary thought of him leaving me is probably what makes me feel so helpless. I recognise that this is "irrational", and your feedback has helped me be more aware of this. :)

>indeed, but why?
Because he gets off to other women really. Hentai/drawings is different than this. I wouldn't consider this "cheating" maybe, but I imagine how it can be problematic in a way that it could dissociate yourself from realistic expectations to at least some degree. That's a minor issue, I would mainly be put off by the effort/dedication someone would go to manifest something that should really only be a silly fantasy. Fantasies are fine. Nothing wrong with something you litteraly cant control.
>nigga he's your boyfriend.. continued..
Absolutely right. The least thing I could do is a proposal, and simply listen. It's so easy to draw conclusions or be scared about possible outcomes, when nothing could possibly improve if it's not brought up in the first place. Even if nothing changes, we at least understand each other better.

This helps me understand it better from an unfamiliar viewpoint. Women see things differently and look for other meanings than men do. I might be convinced that a guy sees deeper meaning behind porn than he really does, and maybe that's how I demonize porn to myself. On the other hand, in this same sense you could rationalise some commonly agreed unacceptable forms of cheating also. I will need more time to contemplate on this matter, but thanks a lot for the input.
I really have to get some hours of sleep now, but if it's not archived when I wake up I'll finish the replies. If not, thanks for the feedback everyone. Even if I haven't responded, I do try to take everything into consideration. Thanks :)

When I was younger and in competitive sports I would need to get off at least twice a day. That's over 14x a week. Even my most enthusiastic girlfriend couldn't handle that much and her mouth/girl parts needed a break to recover. If I didn't I would get super distracted with horny thoughts, walking around with a boner, difficulty focusing on work/studying, while after getting off I could focus on things like normal and get work done/get a good night's sleep, etc. It wasn't about not desiring my girl enough, it's that I cared about her to let her poor body rest.

Furthermore, a man satisfying his woman sexually is a huge requirement in a relationship, it's the stake that his pride and skill are held up on to prove himself as a real man. All guys have an honor code that you can use porn as much as you like as long as your girl/wife gets FIRST DIBS at that dick. If she wants the sex you can't choose porn over her, but if she's asleep/sick/whatever and unable to that is the only time it's okay. It doesn't sound like he's refusing your interest so he's fulfilling his side of the relationship.

It sounds like the pressure of sex is overwhelming you, try something like the 1st day of your weekend 3 nothing overtly sexual, just enjoying each other's company, making meals, relaxing/fun/etc. with no pressure. On day 2 schedule in a 3-hour block or so of making out, cuddling, clothes can come off, just see where things go but again no pressure. On day 3 schedule something sexual near the end, if things are remotely healthy with you two there should be enough sexual build-up from missing each other and the first 2 days that if something happens it will happen as naturally and easily as possible.

Guys, I need some help. I really have to vent now.

You see, on the outside I'm doing great. I'm studying for my dream career, I have a steady job, I have a good looking , loving gf, I'm a good looking guy myself. Everything is perfect really. Or so it seems.

Sometimes I'm just doing great, like I should be. But other times I just dip really low. I get depressed, aggressive, borderline dangerous really. I feel that this has to do with how often I have sex with my gf. It's always 4-5 days in a row daily or 2x day, after the first day I start to feel good and it goes on for a week or so. Then until the next time we have sex (which may be 4-6 weeks) I get progressively angrier and more depressed. I have trouble sleeping and all that.

I've tried to talk this through with my gf a couple of times and we always come to the conclusion that we'll need to have more sex, but it never happens. (And before you ask, I'm more active than her in giving the other one attention and showing love on daily basis)

Now I feel that talking with her is pointless. I really don't what to talk to her about anything "deep" anymore.

The thing is, I don't want to end this relationship. I also don't want to cheat on her and I'm sure she wouldn't agree with an open relationship (besides, if some other dude got to fuck my gf who can't seem to have sex with me I'd be pretty damn done with this shit)

What do I do?

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>an act of getting off to other women

Back then I used to jerk to women I saw by the street on on Insta. Once I jerked off to a girl I sorta knew online. Is that better than porn or even worse?

sometimes when I try to do it just after my fantasies, I feel how my things hurt. either I have poor imagination or something else, but I don't get that aroused and too easily distracted

>Not okay with my boyfriend watching porn. But am I entitled to have a say in this?
The answer is yes. He needs to respect your wishes and care about you. If he disagrees, then you guys should be able to talk this out and reach a solution like adults. Of course it's ok for you to feel this way.

Don't hide your feeling, suppressing sadness, just because you imagine that society tells you it's not ok. He's literally getting off on the videos of other women, perhaps prettier than you, getting fucked. That's tearing up his emotions and his love for you. YOU will wind up with depression while he winds up being a no-empathy soulless husk of a man.

I do not watch porn. Guys like me exist.

How long have you been together? How long do you intend to do this big traveling gig for your LDR? I did something similar and we moved in together after about a year.

You're way overreacting. We masturbate, and porn helps. If hes addicted and it's actually interfering with your sex life that's one thing.
But I can speak for men (not women obviously) and we have an insatiable sex drive that's geared towards stimulation from multiple places.

Consider it a stand in for whores.

>But I can speak for men
No you can't

You don't care enough about your girlfriend to even consider it. Wouldn't listen to her. No.

Many men out there are better than you.

Didn't mean to end there. These are your insecurities and your expectations, you're responsible for them and he is not responsible to micromanage himself to bend over backwards for you, especially over something as silly as jerking it.

Dont like it? Marry a Mormon. At least then he'll agree with you it's wrong. Hell still do it though.

>t. archetypal niceguy

My boyfriend has a lower sex drive than me and specifically requested to slow down on how much I was initiating (which was daily).

tell it like it is give him a choice either he jerks off to other girls or he chooses you.

It's really hard to convey how little the girls in the porn I watch matter to me beyond being stimulation for getting off.
Requesting him to stop is like saying "I want you to stop watching youtube tutorials on car repair".

You have zero say in this matter. A man can masturbate if he fucking wants too. Just like you can be a whore all your life and then expect a good man to marry, lol.

just introduce him to the nofap community. It'll make your sex life better.

In the over 3000 posts I've made on this board, you would probably be the first calling me a "niceguy" lol

Nigga the fuck you doing in ANOTHER relationship thread? We all know you'd really just smack the bitch to discipline her for disobeying you muhammed

Also, inb4 he calls me a piranha and posts his gay self made infograph

Cant you just give him your nudes and send some fapmaterial for him?

i haven't read all of this but as a man, your partner is going to watch porn and fantasize about fucking other women, even when he's right next to you. it's just a fact of life

I'm a bit confused. 4 to 6 weeks? Are you in a long distance relationship where you can't see her for so long? Or do you have sex 4 days in a row and then she just kinda cock blocks you for weeks on end? I'm not saying it's normal to become entirely frustrated and depressed by not having sex, but having sex two times a day, multiple days in a row, and then none for a month on end while physically being together certainly isn't normal as well. What does your gf say about this? What's her explaination?

That's very honest of you. Relationships get stale from both sides most of the times. Women naturally do get bored after a year or couple of years. It is a womans responsibility to take note of this and keep looking for the best features and stuff. The mans role in this is to keep things fresh and fun. A man has to keep taking the woman on dates, and he keeps saying things and making gestures to make her feel beautiful/sexy just like any guy would in a fresh relationship. So women getting lazy or relationships turning stale could be both partner's fault. You do seem to notice a pattern in this, so maybe next time if you find yourself watching porn again, try to send her a text instead. Maybe text what you would like to do to her at that moment, maybe do something romantic and schedule a date, maybe give her a massage afterwards and then BAM dick her down. She might fall in love with you all over again and you wouldn't have to care for porn anymore? Probably won't hurt to try

I'm currently friends with benefits with a girl that often has panic attacks that I meet 2-3 times a month.
Cleaning my house, cooking dinner, picking a movie and then getting blueballed due to a creeping panic attack 33% of the time fucking sucks.
But in regards to porn I've watched it for 15 years before her, I watch it without her and I'll keep watching it long after she's gone. I wouldn't bring it up with him and instead try to work with it on your own end.

Maybe that's a sign you don't really need to wank at that moment.

Explained that here: Of course I'm already enrolled in therapy. I go one to two times a week. I agree that being depressed in a relationship is a bad idea. It was pretty stupid of me to assume that if a guy says he's ready to handle it all, that he is truly ready to handle it haha. It was pretty stupid of him to assume that he could handle that in the long run. I don't blame either of us, we were deeply in love you see. I was less mature in those days and I thought that if I could explain my trouble to him beforehand, and he would agree, it would be fine. I'm disgusted to see people romanticize bad mental health when they say that depressed people deserve love and relationships, and criticize people for purposely not dating depressed people. There's no going back for me now, though. Were a couple years in and deeply invested. Sure this sex thing is an issue right now but as far as I know none of us considers to break up because of this. We've been through worse shit haha. My depression and toxic behavior has been ALOT worse. I'm deeply thankful for his patience.

I'm against consumption of porn. However it seems like a personal self-esteem issue on your part as well. Deal with your issues, mental or physical first, then come from a position of strength and value rather than being reactive, aka lose some weight, tone some ass and learn how to turn your partner on better.

I've been like this with my first girlfriend, have sex with your girl when you really just want to grab that ass and smash or if she's horny. Any other time it's just cope sex, a distraction to get away from your issues, you become needy and desperate and it's just a downward spiral down.
The more cope sex you have the worse it becomes. After my 1st gf I landed a girl who was horny for cope sex all the time, another bad idea. Everything has to have a balance, figuring out yours is the first step, if you can actually manage it to make it compatible with your gf, she's a keeper. Otherwise move on.

Short, simple, straight to the point. Probably true and pretty powerful. Wish I was this good at summarizing haha

Well I'm not retarded or unable to understand some "guy who gets it" viewpoint. But if you were not too, you would understand that things are more complex than that. Hence the long explanation beforehand.

>The best thing you can do is tell your SO honestly how you feel, and once they know it's up to them what they decide to do with that knowledge, and you can base your relationship decisions on their actions after that.
I will definitely go for this. Thanks for the advice.
> She still doesnt like the thought of me doing it but she knows I do it behind closed doors and basically have a dont ask dont tell policy.

Well I believe this is what society expects girls to do, and what I've been doing up until this day. It feels like turning a blind eye. And it kind of feels like I'm disrespectful towards my own presepts. Being aware of this, it feels like a form of cuckery :(

why do you talk like a nigger?

>But sometimes I have to decline to prevent during or post-sex crying sessions that I can't control.
why does the sex cause this?
are they bad, exactly or do you just not want him to see you like that?

Talking to your bf about this will create deep feelings of resentment towards you and possibly eventual guilt towards his porn consumption. And depending on his self-esteem, he might never get out of that dark hole and basically just give up on everything completely. If you plan to have an open discussion, you have to make certain actions very clear to him, nothing extreme like "quit porn or I'm leaving" of course since it seems you care about this person. The way I quit porn was my gf challenged me to stay without it or sex for 2 weeks at least and it was when I got extremely angry at day 12 and said some horrible things to her it opened my eyes that porn was in control of my life more than I wanted to admit. I didn't mean to say those things to her but yet I did. I was never a confrontational person and yet I lost control. Without that kind of wake up call, and the prospect of possibly even hurting my partner physically genuinely put my mind into perspective and made me quit. It was very difficult and we eventually broke up because of different reasons. But the 6 months we spent with her supporting me has made me a better man and if circumstances were different and we were still together, I would be thankful and still am for her teaching me this fact about myself.

Just dump him in case he breaks his cock with porn and can't satisfy you anymore.

Your bf cries *during sex?????
Honestly....... This guy is super lucky to have you.

This has to be a troll post or something. You're way too considerate towards him. Why do you value yourself so low? Are you ugly or is your depression seriously that severe or are you just very young? Reading your posts is kind of surreal because you place so much consideration for some dude who doesn't sound like much and put too little value on yourself as a woman and as a person in general. I'd move mountains for a girl like you, crying during sex wtf does he have discord I'd like to talk to him lol.

have you considered taking some sexy pictures for him? It's not bad if it's you he's fantasizing about, right?

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I think you misinterpreted my post. I turn on my boyfriend, but I fail to have sex because of my mental health issues. I'm unable to enjoy anything sometimes. I can't have sex when I feel anxious or disgusted and ashamed of myself. I have an athletic physique because I work out almost daily, and I eat a healthy diet. I take good care of myself and make sure I look attractive for my partner. I think mental health patients have a responsibility to never stop trying to become the best versions of themselves not to drown in self pity. I think that's also important for anyone in a relationship, maybe somewhat less urgent in comparison.

You are literally an example of a stereotype I quoted in my post. xD

Did that today for the first time following some suggestions from people here. I'm actually very paranoid and insecure and it's something I have refused to consider in my past. My bf didn't mind so I don't feel I'm underperforming as a gf in this matter, but I realize that this is the least thing I could do if I'm going to request to him to consider stop watching porn. :)

Females are naturally geared to leave their man after some time and hop on to the next alpha male. Does that mean we should do it?
>Consider it a stand in for whores.
Well I would never date a thot either. jerking off is fine imo. I just don't think it's worth it to involve other women when it hurts your partners feelings while you could just jerk off without it.

I mean, am I a normie with this ? Who cries during sex, or after. What the fuck??? It's so bizarre. Everything about this entire thread is so bizarre, the girl sound way too giving and the guy sounds like a complete clusterfuck, even for Jow Forums.

Holy shit you're awesome. Dump this loser and let's improve each other together instead.

I completely agree. But that's the hard part... The dates, the work involved in maintaining everything. It's so easy for a year or so. After that the motivation fades for me. But, that being said I have also been guilty (and my partners equally) of holding on too long. I think many relationships are meant to be temporary, especially when younger. Within a year or so people can completely change, evolve, or grow in opposite directions.

I don't believe in "making it work" anymore. I believe it's hard to end relationships but we all need to hop around a bit to learn what we really want, and then eventually have the fortitude to hold out for it instead of settling for something instead of nothing or close enough.

I spent the majority of my 20s in relationships. Now I am 32 and realize that there is such a strong nature desire to be with someone that it can be a huge roadblock to actually finding the right person.

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nudes is just short relief
we all come back to porn eventually
then when you leave us we post your shit online

>dating people like that
Why would anyone do it?

what do you mean?
every guy does this, we're just petty like that
even the guy you made "delete" your nudes
he just keeps them on his harddrive hidden somewhere
you kinda have to know all this before you send them
then all you can do is just come to terms with being naked on the internet

>every guy does this
Never did it and I have over 1gb of nudes from different exes, fuck buddies and e-gfs. Never even showed the shit to close friends. It's just not something you do if you have a tiny bit of integrity.

Like, why would you even do it?

>even the guy you made "delete" your nudes
That shit obviously never works.

>integrity
>keeps a giant stash of past flings
lmao k
youre totally not like us, you're a complete weirdo that keeps pictures of girls that have moved on to other people
if you had any real integrity you'd not keep any of that, but you wanna play it both ways
its so funny how you dont even realize that youre literally the same, want the gratification from the possession but afraid of conflict so you never post anything anywhere
anyway posting it online randomly is nothing, I knew people that sent it to their loved ones and people they worked with basically made them move town etc

>you're a complete weirdo that keeps pictures of girls that have moved on to other people
Maybe. Besides, it's not like I didn't move on. I see the stuff more as "achievement unlocked" and I generally like to keep stuff, whether it's nudes, chatlogs, stupid presents, packages of expensive tech stuff or bday cards from relatives I couldn't care less about.

>if you had any real integrity you'd not keep any of that, but you wanna play it both ways
Well, yeah. Not saying I'm a great person or anything, most likely the opposite. Just making something public that was supposed to be private for me is a bit too much.

>but afraid of conflict so you never post anything anywhere
But I fucking love conflicts, it makes my dick hard. Just not into hurting people randomly or being a butthurt fag if some chick dumped me.

>anyway posting it online randomly is nothing, I knew people that sent it to their loved ones and people they worked with basically made them move town etc
No shit, there are many ways to be a dickhead. But both of these are pretty horrible. And often there are redflags, so you can see it coming from miles away. Obvious shit like the person talking shit about their ex for example.

you're pretty strange man but whatever
>But I fucking love conflicts, it makes my dick hard.
wanna go have a talk with op's bf about his crying habits? I really wanna meet this kid.

Wasn't she the one doing it?

It's multiple things. I'll try to explain it. It might have to do with something with my past. I can sometimes feel deeply insecure and disgusted by my body. This usually happens when I'm in a bad phase in my PMDD cycle where I retain much water (my bf sees no difference but it doesnt seem to matter to me). I am too scared to expose my skin. But nonetheless, I have to stimulate my brain constantly when I'm in a bad state of mind. Adhd + depression keeps your mind racing and spiraling down. What I do is I take my antidepressant and adhd meds, and I also do pro-active things like reading, interacting with friends, youtube video's, 4/8 chan, listen to/discover music, researching a subject and write papers on it for no particular reason. And when it's time to go to sleep, i take my antipsychotic which also act as a sleeping pill to knock myself out. Doing things that require less concentration (except for meditation), allows my thought patterns to go on. At moments like this I find it hard to kiss or cuddle. I get distracted by all the thoughts, and I can't enjoy it. (What I usually do is I narrate a song that I know in my head. I notice that I can tolerate better when I just keep music "playing" in my head. I think this is really cool) Something that happens when a girl is not aroused, scared, or uncomfortable is tightening up down there. This makes sex quite painful sometimes. For some reason right before this happens, I am already scared to the point of not being able to say anything or stop the session. And from that point it kind it shuts close more and the pain also triggers more fear I notice. And this simply builds up until I cry. Sometimes I can finish a session and I just cry discreetly in the bathroom. But usually it doesn't take long for my bf to notice the change in body language and he stops immediately and I'll start crying haha. But yeah that's it.

No haha I'm the one that cries

Referring you to this reply also:

Oh. My bad.
My only experience with a girl having a bad time with sex, actually crying and being painful, is very limited. I dated a girl who also had similar problems and for her it was the lack of the right things from her partner. He wouldn't touch her in a sexual way. Basically no foreplay. Very little effort from start to finish from the guy physically, even when he was on top and in general no tension at all, just "lets have sex" "ok". The more they did it the more pressure the girl felt and the worse it got. They would also live separately and meet up on weekends and she said that she often felt like sex was an out of body experience that she didn't look forward to but had to do because of her duty as a loving girlfriend. But because of the arguments and him being horny all the time it just got worse and worse.
Our first time together was from 2 months LDR online, she opened up to me about everything and I was extremely patient with her and literally "talked her through" what our sex will be when we vibed well and flirted together, when we finally met we had sex for hours, exactly the way I described it. And it was natural for us because we had a lot of positive emotions about it and because she was submissive she just went along with what I loved and some of the things she absolutely wanted to do herself but never even knew about it, nothing weird, basic kinks like light hair pulling. She told me that she really tried to make it work with that guy but the damage was too severe and with me it was like a breath of fresh air because I put in the effort and basically told her what was on her mind. Your bf needs to get more involved in your sex life, put in a massive amount of effort, and basically all of this has to work in such a way as if you just started dating, leaving all past negative associations behind you. I have no idea how you're gonna do this, but just making him quit porn won't be enough.

I was indeed also scared of making him feel guilty, or causing him to do it while pretending not to. I won't set up any definite rules because of this. Just bring up my point of view, and enroll the discussion.

Nice little story you told there. And such a great challenge as well. If porn truly doesn't mean anything, and doesn't really matter in an emotional sense, it would be easily discarded and an easy challenge. A chance for my bf to prove that porn is harmless basically. If it turns out to be really hard, and causes distress, that would prove my point then. It's an experiment that would allow us both to explore the case without pressure, or guilt.

Also, it's nice to see when someone doesn't regret a past relationship. And recognizes that it has been a learning experience. It's quite a mature observation when you see many people hating their ex to death, and not being able to be thankful for anything.

Thanks for describing my viewpoint perfectly.

I've been in a lot of relationships and the only truth you can take away is that it becomes a part of you for better or worse and you have to learn the best you can or you'll repeat the same mistakes in your current one.

Basically what I'm trying to say is you're trapped in this loop where you want to be a loving girlfriend by making sex something that you have to give while at the same time convincing yourself that every time you want to cry yourself out of it it must be your fault or something wrong with you because you've already grown to associate that state of mind as default ever since you can remember yourself, and especially every time you take your meds, because your inner dialogue goes something like this "most normal people don't take meds so obviously there's something wrong with me already, that means that this is also an issue with me" and you put all the pressure on yourself, at the same time you want to still be a loving girlfriend. And of course you can have some personal issues with your sexuality but IN GENERAL it's always the guys' fault. Sex is not something you give, it's something you both enjoy. As a man, his responsibility is to ensure that both sides have a good time, no matter how much you tell yourself it's your fault or there's something wrong with you there's always going to be a guy who can put in the effort for the both of you so you can heal and make unforgettable experiences together. Just quitting porn is a lot of effort by itself, but there are so many other things he has to do. It's extremely difficult, especially if he's not bought into the idea himself. If you just come in and tell him any of this, he'll reject it immediately. I would be lying if I said it wouldn't be easier to dump him, work on yourself, your self-esteem, self-confidence and making a better choice but I'm a hopeless romantic even after so many relationships and I really believe in true love, but the fucking guys, they just won't do shit to make it work. It takes years for a guy like that to realize just how hard he fucked up and what he lost and even true love isn't worth years of waiting and basically abuse.

Obviously the details matter. It based on what little I know, this relationship sounds like a frustrating nightmare. Crying sessions happening during sex? This just sounds awful... I think OP needs to get help as a top priority if she's like this.

It's my birthday and I'm too elated to be mad at some attention-seeking piranha. Have your peanuts. I'll be back owning you guys again tomorrow.

Have to agree with this user

>back to owing you guys
Nigga everyone was laughing at you sperging the fuck out last time

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Happy birthday peanut butter. Haha it's so funny. My last post before this was months ago and I remember you raged balls on me but then we talked and we agreed at a certain point, and then you apologized for going so hard on me or something and it was all good, but it's still kinda funny to see that you're still this active. Gonna be super impressed if you remember the post because I barely remember myself.

Please stop pandering to the tripfags ego, be STILL believes that beating your woman is a good thing to discipline her for being disobedient and that becoming a hobo in LA is a great financial move

What would you think about a mother who can't cook for shit, but still gets upset if her children eat food other than hers?

Op you need some therapy cause you're definitely nuts. What you feel isnt normal. You need to dig deep within yourself to find what makes you feel what you do and why it does. Change comes from within, you cant expect your boyfriend to deviate from normal behavior because your feelings on such behavior are abnormal and distress you.

We live together. She just does the usual "I'm tired" "I'm not feeling like it" "I'm not a really sexual person type of thing"

Really we only have sex when
A I get mad and go to sleep on my friend's couch/etc.

B She actually wants it, which is pretty much twice a year

This really fucks my sanity up

Time to end it my dude, you're either getting cucked or she's using you for betabux.

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But there is no chance of her fucking other guys, the only place she goes alone is work.

We pay for everything everything 50:50 apart from personal stuff

Who says you can't get laid at work?

It's a busy grocery store with cameras everywhere. Besides, the only guys working there are fat and 20 years older than her

Can get a quickie in during a lunch break or after work with a chad customer.

Stores here don't allow two people to have a lunch break at the same time

Am I in denial or are you trying to get in my head?

Little of column A, little of column B