Distance myself from my friends

>distance myself from my friends
>one of them sends me a message telling me that she misses me and hopes I'm okay

bitch

Attached: Bocchi cry.gif (560x420, 175K)

im so angry rn

why did you distance yourself from them

She cares for you user

we've been a family of friends for about six years
they've always been pretty much perfect friends that are always good to me and always have my back but idk i have intimacy issues and being part of such a group eventually just became too much
i'm trying to just vanish without saying anything because i'm conflict-averse

Do you still like individual people in this group?

Maybe just wait it out and think it through before vanishing completely? I get that it's hard to be intimate and let people in, have the same issue.
But yeah I wouldn't do anything too radical without proper thought if I were you.

i love them all as individuals and i hope they don't feel hurt or betrayed or abandoned if i suddenly go silent and ignore their attempts at communication until they give up

Please distance yourself from us to.
We can smell your desperate attempts to conjure fake sympathy.
No one has sympathy for you or your situation.

who hurt you user

OP did.

Do you like spending time with them or are trying to not cause any inconvenience?

i deserve sympathy tho
i'm trying to enemy-ize (is that a word?) my friend and that isn't easy for me
whenever i wrote a story or made a game, she would play/read it right away and write long reviews of it that were often multiple pages long. they were glowing and supportive and detailed, with occasional bits of constructive criticism thrown in.
whenever i was upset about anything or anything bad happened to me, she would always get worried. sometimes she talked to me throughout the whole night and had to go to bed the next morning without any sleep.
it's not easy forcing myself to hate her

i love them more than anything and spending time with them makes me so happy but also really scared because it's all too much for me the feels are too real and they have been for the six years we've been together

*go to work the next morning

lmao 'go to bed the next morning without any sleep' what does that even mean

Would you distance yourself anyway if there wasn't any group and you knew each one of these people separately?

>i deserve
No you fucking don't.
And that's where you're wrong and that's why you get nothing but looks of disgust. You don't deserve shit. You get what you can take and what you are given. you are not owed shit for just being alive.
Self absorbed prick.

nope
group intimacy terrifies me but one-on-one intimacy is okay :p
that probably sounds weird

ok meanie

ITT: borderline personality disorder

Mate, you're spending your free time insulting people asking for advice over the internet.
Is everything alright?

what's that o_o

You need to work on your anxiety. Just because it's difficult and stressful for you doesn't mean you're not acting like a jerk, too. People are only going to be supportive for so long, which means that YOU have to be the one to initiate the change and work to move past this.

Maybe you should try leaving the group while still cultivating relationships with them individually. Keep in mind that I don't know shit about your situation so take my advice with a grain of salt but it does seem reasonable to me

nah you basically know everything there is to know lol
i've been part of a family-like circle of friends since 2013 (there's seven of us in the group). my friends are endlessly sweet, loyal, supportive, and would move mountains for me, but my childhood makes intimate relationships terrifying for me
leaving the group but staying friends individually sounds like a good compromise :3

I never personally attacked OP or insulted it.
I am here to point out that life is not fair. You(and OP) don't deserve anything you don't work for, and even then you are not owed what you worked so hard to obtain. You can fail and be a loser and it is OK. OP needs to realize what the true problem is. That problem is the fact that it thinks that they have earned the right to friends, or to be happy. when in reality it is an illusion that affects many people and most of the posters on this board.
You are not OWED anything.
You get what life deals out and then you adapt to it or die. You can pity this person all you want but you are only catering to a mental illness.

actually this just occurred to me... but maybe instead of just vanishing and leaving them to wonder why, i could talk about my feelings with them...
they are pretty much perfect friends and ppl after all...

I'm no expert, but you might want to overcome your fear of intimacy sometime soon, and it seems a decent place for a first step. Whatever you do I wish you good luck user

That's absolutely the right thing to do. Don't be afraid to be honest about what's going on in your head; people are really helpful as long as you let them know what's going on.

You've come to /adv and opened a thread just to type "no one has sympathy for your situation". Why would you do that? I mean, do you derive satisfaction from making a life of strangers across the internet a tiny bit worse, or maybe you wish to show someone how to see the world? Either way, it sounds kinda sad. I seriously wish the best for you mate, if you need some advice yourself there if a whole board ready to hear you out

Sorry for my shitty English btw, I'm not a native speaker

your friends are better off without you honestly. judging from your posts you don’t deserve or appreciate them

>Why would you do that?
Because truth is a hard pill to swallow. It seems like you have some denial too.
Let me quote OP,
>distance myself from my friends
This person obviously feels like they are the center of the universe and everyone should cater to their 'feelings' as much as possible.
This is not that world.
the human population doesn't really care about an individual, collectively we wish to continue as a species through individual actions. Going against society is how you destroy yourself and any chance of participating in the human experience.
>maybe you wish to show someone how to see the world?
No, I am not that morally superior to be showing anyone how to see the world. This is obviously hurting you or you wouldn't bother to respond. I'm sorry life has treated you so poorly that you think it's OK to coddle these feelings in OP.
>Either way, it sounds kinda sad.
Yes it is sad to inflate this self destructive behavior in another person.
Do you want them to hurt like you do? I don't. I want OP to realize that they can be happy if they drop the facade that they are owed happiness. OP needs to go out and make the best of life instead of self loathing and despair.
You can take what I say however you like, but I'm truly an optimist, and my criticism and bluntness is the best way to see things in a better light.

>I want OP to realize that they can be happy if they drop the facade that they are owed happiness.

Thinking that you are 'owed' something is an important survival mechanism. If you think that you don't deserve good times, that can slowly whittle away your willingness to fight for them over time. "It's not okay for me to be in pain or to be in bad situations" is the basic groundwork for the fight or flight response.

*deserve good things

I totally agree. OP is a pathetic faggot looking for attention. Notice he never even asked for advice, he’s just another blogposting sadboy

>consciously ruining perfetcly fine friendships
>I deserve simpathy
You deserve antipathy.

>Thinking that you are 'owed' something is an important survival mechanism.
nooooo.... sorry. That's fundamentally wrong.
when you think you deserve something it comes back to "I'm not doing shit to better my life, but i still think i deserve enjoy all the good things"
you need to work for what you want. If you have the mentality that you 'deserve' things you are 'owed' because you are 'entitled' to good things in life, you get lazy and apathetic which turns into the feelings you and OP harbor.
you need to break the cycle and do better for yourself.
I hope you too can one day become a good citizen and an excellent person.

Ehhh... not so fast. I never said any of that. OP can chance, they just need the encouragement to do so. Tell them how it is instead of insulting them, then they too can be inspired and woke.

>meta cognizance leading to misery
>what a surprise

You literally thought about it too much and fucked up your life, congrats

There's a middle ground, you know. Really what people need to do is be able to analyze themselves objectively. To see the good in themselves and understand that they fundamentally deserve the same basic respect that everyone else deserves. However that they are not entitled to the time and attention of others, and that they have to give as much as they take in a relationship. Seeing themselves objectively also means seeing where they need improvement and when they are being a bad person. They also have to understand that their actions have consequences. Your rights stop the moment they infringe upon the rights of others.