I went out with a guy, invited him over. Then when we were in bed he seemed really nervous...

I went out with a guy, invited him over. Then when we were in bed he seemed really nervous. He kissed me really badly and when I told him to just stop he said I am the second girl he has ever slept with and things like that. The guy was in a relationship for almost three years, why was he so nervous and inexperienced? I can confirm he actually was in that relationship he told me about.

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If you don't want to date inexperienced men then don't do it, simple. Maybe he didn't have much physical contact with the other girl he was with, if at all. You don't know the details of that relationship do you?

Just because he was in a relationship doesn't mean it was a passionate or sexually active one.

it's not that he was inexperienced, it's that he was nervous

He's a person. It absolutely sucks when your barriers fail. If you can't work throught that, fine but be kind and maybe let him explain his situation himself. I can relate to this so hard, I was such a fucking wreck at one point and everything you do seems to work against you.

>He kissed me really badly

What were your expectations. If he was in a relationship with one person for three years, then he's going to have some issues.

Did he have other relationships before that? How many? These are sort of important questions to ask when dealing with people you kissy-face.

Why did you tell him to "just stop" when you could have instead kissed him like you want to be kissed, and then let him figure it out?

How passive do you see yourself in terms of your role in sexual interaction?

I tried to talk to him about it. He just went absolutely silent and told me he is a loser and wants to fucking disappear. I tried everything to calm him down a bit and let him know that I am open for a conversation because he nearly got a panic attack and didn’t seem fine with him nor that situation at all.

I previously had one relationship as well and didn’t have any of these problems, that’s why I don’t really understand.

Completely independent from the topic of your post, you really would do well to stay away from emotionally unwell people like him.

See this is why I advise guys that have serious self esteem issues not to date women and definitely not try to engage in sexual relationships. If something goes wrong and you can't handle the fact you're inexperienced you might break down like this and the other person will feel your despair and then not know what to do at that moment.

Ok, I'm not asking you to be the god of patience. But if he's felt depraved of emotional support for some time, things can be ugly. Demand that he try to form coherent thoughts and express his feelings. I doubt that he'll actually say something that will resonate with you but just being understanding could mean a lot from him in the future I think. At the end of the day you're not responsible for his issues, I think he knows this.

When I invited him over he had at least three reasonable reasons to politely decline the offer and not seem stupid. I have no idea why he did it since he knew what his case was. Weird.

>I previously had one relationship as well

Oh, well there's your problem right there. I was lucky and lost my virginity to someone much more experienced than me, and she understood how mercurial and contextual attraction can be.

Your dude probably wants to bang you good, but you need to tell him what you want.

Guys have no idea how aggressive or how passive they're expected to be without upsetting you.

Just provide positive feedback when something feels good, and don't provide feedback for things that don't.

If he wants to make you happy, he'll figure it out, and if he doesn't, then... well, I guess ditch him as a sexual partner.

Lol you told him to just stop?

My advice is to block his number, for his sake.

I know exactly what he's doing. It's pure self-destruction and he thinks that he's dashing towards the inevitable. I know it seems stupid but it's a defence mechanisms. Getting him to realize that spending time with him IS worthwhile is a challenge. Worst case, cut contact for a while, let that fucker gather his senses. And just send him a message later to make him understand that he's not forgotten. Listen I know this sounds insane, you're not in any way obligated to go through this but this motherfucker has his head up his own ass and pulling him out is a chore. Thankfully I had those people around me, they weren't strangers though.

you kind of sound like a cunt OP. i was a shitty kisser with my first girl but she didn't seem to mind all that much and made me feel comfortable until i got better at kissing. maybe instead of destroying his fucking confidence you should have let him do his thing until he felt more comfortable with you.

What is he supposed to do exactly? Suffering from sexual inexperience as a man is a situation that no one can help you through, there is basically no escape from it. Knowing that you're shit at pleasuring a woman and can't even do something as basic as kissing without fucking it up is SOUL CRUSHING.

this is my nightmare. how the fuck do I kiss?
I'm overly tickly too and she's gonna notice I haven't been touched
fuck

Act, to be honest. Act as if his instincts guide him. Perhaps he can actually absorb the validation and not let it run off of him like water off a duck.

It isn't possible to act away sexual inexperience.

This.

I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years and we only have sex once every 5 months or so

>she's gonna notice I haven't been touched
I hate this. Recently I was able to fake it confidence and charm to get a girl to go on a date with me, but as soon as she touched me, I started visibly shaking and couldn't stop. My body betrays me

Maybe not but that's the only option. Or own your inexperience, which would require a solid amount of confidence. Because not many girls want to deal with that.

That happened to me.

>be many years ago
>23 year old virgin
>make tinder
>manage to match with a slut
>she tells me she really wanted my dick
>I don’t tell her I’m a virgin
>we meet up
>I’m nervous as fuck
>messing around
>she notices
>I’m literally laying onto of her, my dick is out (but not in her yet)
>she stops me and says “wait”
>she puts her hand on my chest and says “your heart is beating so fast.... are you a Virgin?”
>I said no
>she pushes me off of her and says “no seriously, are you a Virgin, at 23?”
>I admit
>she then grabbed her bra and put it on and said “well, this is frustrating”
>looks at me just sitting there and says “you can get dressed, we are not going to do it”.
>she’s goes to the bathroom
>comes back and tells me to leave

You're scaring the virgins, user. Women can't read your mind.

what do you mean? That actually happened.

Nice larp lmao

Well, as I already mentioned he has been with a girl before, in a fucking relationship, for three fucking years. What happened was a huge turnoff for me, is this really making me a cunt??? That’s ridiculous. You almost sound as it’s my fault he sucks at kissing and my obligation to comfort him about his issues. I just met him ffs. He’s not a friend, nor a boyfriend. I simply wanted a hookup.

I don't know about that. I've had at least 5 women call me out for being a virgin. In normal situations too, not like I was trying to fuck the wrong hole or somethinf

That’s not a larp, retard. That really happened to me

No, it's anons nightmare. Devoid of much truth. But my advice is just to avoid the topic of virginity if you're able to. However, being a dudes first for a woman can be a bit awkward if it happens in your mind to late 20s.

Ay, user, stop being such an entitled little bitch and man the fuck up. Eat a salad, move on, have sex. FUCKING DO IT YOU PUSSY

>user’s nightmare
Yeah but it was a reality that happened to me.

That girl wouldn’t have met me if she knew I was a Virgin before. Because after I left she texted me saying I shouldn’t have lied, because it was a waste of her time. She said she thought that I was experienced and really could have fucked her hard. She said she doesn’t think a Virgin could please her.

user, I won't lie. What you had written there in that post of yours aroused me very much, but I seriously doubt such a thing had ever really happened.

>I've had at least 5 women call me out for being a virgin
This is bizarre. Are they actually understanding and want to care or did it feel malicious?

Are you going to masturbate to it or something?

Then I apologize. That was incredibly callous. I mean, she doesn't have to fuck you in that situation but just dodging completely is fucking strange.

Not him, but I’ve always had women at work call me out for it. My male and female co-workers often make sex jokes, all the time. I can’t relate to their jokes and whatever because I have no experience or stories. I guess the girls figured that out and they started making Virgin jokes about me. (I never told them I was a Virgin). Once, a joke was said, and I heard it because I was close, and one girl said “hahah user, you’ll understand one day”

Furiously

Women can smell virginity

She was a slut, so I guess I got what I deserved.
Are you a girl (female)?

Let's pretend I believe this for a moment.
So you're being bullied essentially? I honestly can't relate to this. Most of my insecurity stemmed from within myself but if that's your reality I'd unapologetically be a full blown incel. I'd advise you to not take that shit to heart but fuck man. That is just cruel.

Nope. Not unless you're ruled by your anxiety.

>Are you a girl (female)?
If it makes you happy, user.

I can smell men's virginity; it smells like Mountain Dew.

i want you to lick my bellybutton and call me sonic

Only one of them were malicious about it. They rest just brought it up and I denied and then it was ignored.

I believe you, user. Don't fuck with haters.

People have a serious stigma with the idea of "taking" someone's virginity, like it's some sort of responsibility that you have to deal with later, when it really doesn't have to be.

youtu.be/1ikXim4wevc

women fetishize virginity as much as men, as it turns out.

It’s impossible to not take it to heart when that same shit has been happening everywhere I’ve ever been. it’s always girls who make the comments too.

>women fetishize virginity as much as men, as it turns out
Blatantly false. Go eat a salad, that's my advice. I need to go home.

I guess it would make sense in high school or something but if you're anywhere near adulthood, their behaviour is pure, unadulterated, weapons-grade cringe and should be treated as such.

I’m 26

>Go eat a salad

That's quite vague.

He was nervous about being inexperienced and you judging him like you are now.

You’re a cunt because you’re not meeting him half way, and are looking down on him from your high throne. It takes patience, RESPECT, and equal effort for a relationship to go well. You don’t sound like you’re willing to do any if those. Let him go for his sake.

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Did OP basically make a thread just to shit on some incel

This whole thread is sus.

Sus af.

Not for your reasons, though, specifically. Sorry.

OP is a cunt, nothing more to be said.

Well OP, all you really had to do in this case was just tell him it's ok it doesn't really mean anything. If the guy can't understand that then whatever he feels after that isn't your problem.

I'm a guy, I advise guys like the guy you're describing not to date if they're not ready because I know this is something that can happen. In this case, it's the guy's fault for wanting to get laid and not bringing his game. He knows he sucks and can't deal with the fact he can't deliver after he fails. That's not how you do these things.

This type of man will become the standard in the next 10 years and it's all your fault. :)
Fuck you roastie.

So according to you what was she supposed to do? Both men and women do stuff like this, they just want to get laid.

Nothing. The guy should just not even bother. There is no need for dating,sex or hookups anymore as a man. The cons outweigh the pros. He messed up.

Elaborate on that, we're not talking about commitment here. You mean the risks like getting an STD or something?

>I advise guys like the guys you're describing not to date
So what are they supposed to do? Just isolate themselves and never work on their social problems?

this

You don't date women when you're this hopeless about your situation. If you're the kind of guy that's going through depression, has severe traumas, crippling low self esteem, dating women that want a fling isn't going to help you. Just like trying to engage in social interactions when you've been shut in for years. You don't make those kinds of jumps and if you do, panic attacks are to be expected.

When I say social interactions I mean big ones that require enough experience otherwise you're going to be sweating and will probably feel your heart pounding the entire time and the sight won't be pretty. Small steps first.

What is the step in between then? At some point you need to interact with women.

Holy shit what a fucking child expecting the universe to baby him lmfao.

OP you hooked a generally awkward guy is all. He thought he was up to the task but it turns out he wasn't because the pressure to 'perform' became a self-fulfilling prophecy for failure.

If you meshed with him and this was the only hiccup,I'd suggest texting him and just letting him know it's cool, no worries and that you'd be down to go to a movie sometime or something chill like that.

Otherwise, if you were just looking to get dicked-down nasty, well, you got two options:

1.) Ghost. Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way.

2.) Send a simple text like "hey thanks for the great evening and hope you feel better (smiley face)! DESU I was feeling kinda off so no worries lol" -- Even if you didn't ACTUALLY feel 'off', saying this will make him feel better cause it won't make him feel like he was being out-of-the-ordinary levels of upset and so it'll be easier to process for him.

It all depends on what kind of impression you want to leave on this guy.

Well when you're prepared for the possibility things may not go well. When you know yourself enough to try and have a sexual relationship fully aware you may not be what she expects then you do it. It's normal to feel disappointed and a failure as a man but I think the guy OP is talking about clearly had unresolved issues and he made the jump when he wasn't ready to take the backlash.

Watch porn.

That aside--take your time:
- Every 'move' you make should be a micro-step to something 'more'. Like, don't stick your tongue into their mouth until you've done a bit of tongue-less kissing while rubbing their back.
-Generally speaking, take cues from your partner--slowly inch forward in terms of kissing/touching boundaries and if you experience resistance, go back to the last 'safe point', keep making out at that point, and then keep it going until you get a cue from them signaling they've gotten more turned on (moaning, grabbing you, grinding, etc)

- long, slow kisses
- tease their lips with the very tip of your tongue

***ONCE YOU'VE BROKEN THE TONGUE BARRIER***
- softly bite / suck on their bottom lip
- softly bite / suck on their tongue


***ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE ONCE YOU'VE BROKEN THE TONGUE BARRIER***
- Put your hands on the back of their neck/head and softly pull them into your kiss. Almost guaranteed WATERFALLS.

99% of successful kissing/making out adds up to slowly testing each others' comfort zones through progressively turning up the passion 1 degree at a time.

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Porn can poison your mind and skew your views on reality. It's ok I guess if you want to see what people do but it's not something I can recommend to overcome personal issues.

To clarify, I meant watch porn for a general sense of pacing/mechanics, not for examples of what to expect with regard to behavior like pizza guys, teachers, and step dads aren't out here drowning in pussy like that.

That said, I can say from experience that every SO I've had enjoyed some tech I picked up from my years of watching Bangbros.

it's a bit like dancing with a partner. Take it sow for the first kiss. You don't want to make any jarring movements that are out of sync with what they're doing. Make sure you don't use too much tongue at first and just enjoy their lips/scent. It's also good to gently pull them in from the back of their neck if they seem to be getting into it. Taking breaks ie pulling away slightly and teasing them to get more is also god-tier.

It's not the fault of women; it's the fault of jews

t. confident antisemite with a fulfilling sex life

Name an easier way to troll Jow Forums

Dubs

Ex most likely emasculated him during the break up and now he has performance anxiety.

Yikes. Just yikes. I feel really bad for that guy.

sounds like his last relationship was a real passionate one or an abusive one or he is just a bad kisser. I kissed a girl who tried telling me how I should kiss. didnt work out.

>was in a 3yo relationship
>probably still heartbroken from it and blames himself for it breaking down
>"wow why is he nervous about messing something up what a cuck lmao I'm gonna call Chad Thundercock instead"
Cyanide, OP.

literally and honestly this. Why would I want to go through what he just went through?

this

Tell him to fucking kill himself

Haha is that guy me?! I’m a total fucking loser, that’s why i try and stay away from women, I definitely get where he’s coming from, he might have experienced childhood trauma or had distant parents.

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