I know nearly everyone here would say that sexual monogamy is important, and that sleeping around with others while in a relationship destabilizes it to the point of it being impossible to maintain. My question is, legitimately, why? Outside of actually getting cuckolded in the definition of the word and raising someone else's kid, what modern risks exist in cuckolding? People often cite sex and pair bonding, but anecdotally I really haven't found that to be significant in my relationship, nowhere near the extent of shared emotional experiences.
I genuinely have a cuckold fetish, please talk me out of this before I do something regrettable.
The kids here lack experience and perspective. What they fail to understand is that casual/multiple sex partners doesn't cause destabilization in intimacy and bonding, its the other way around. People don't become numb to emotional connection because they sleep around. They sleep around because they've already been numb to emotional connection. People tend to sexualize their greatest traumas and use sex as a mean to navigate inner conflict. People who need to feel loved use sex to try to manipulate people into giving it to them. People who constantly feel abandoned use sex to manipulate people into sticking around. People who feel like shit about their body or their personality use sex to gain validation and assurances that they're "good enough" to be wanted. Sex is very complicated and is indelibly linked to the things we experienced in our early development. Sex is a means of recreating traumas in environments and contexts that we can control. In our subconscious we believe that if we can recreate and master these traumas then we can compensate for the experiences or emotions or connections we felt like we missed out on in our developmental years. This is the reason some women with abandoning, abusive fathers are exclusively attracted to abandoning, abusive men. Its all trauma recreation in a misguided attempt at healing themselves. If you want to know what the risks of cuckolding are then all you need to do is examine yourself, your history and the reasons you find yourself to drawn to it. Everyone uses sex and intimacy for different things. No two people use their sexuality or relationship with intimacy to satiate the same psychological imperatives. Find out which psychological hole you're using this cuckolding fetish to fill and you'll have your answers.
Ryan Miller
> Find out which psychological hole you're using this cuckolding fetish to fill Probably extreme insecurity and over self-consciousness
Austin Jackson
It seems to me that people should stick with people that have similar partner numbers. A large difference suggests different values being placed on sex, which could lead to conflict or tension. The screaming and arguing about pair bonding that you see here is mostly just people trying to rationalize their insecurities and very raw emotions.
Also worth a read.
Xavier Watson
>Probably extreme insecurity and over self-consciousness Well then it seems like maybe instead of trying to navigate these feelings with a cuckolding fetish you should see a therapist or counselor and make an attempt to get at the root of why you feel this way.
Luke Richardson
Polygamy is an incredibly violent, unstable, and anti-social social structure because women do not mate down the social or economic hierarchy; they only mate at or up their level; Ultimately the men on the bottom decide they'd be better off without the men at the top and kill them. Then they kill the women, and then kill each other for good measure.
Psychologically, the Christians had this figured out thousands of years ago. It takes 2 parents, in a union, to produce a whole child because that child is, quite literally, a union of the parents. If you don't have 2 whole parents, the kids aren't whole, they fight themselves, then some dickhead comes along and takes advantage of them; puts them in their army or harem for example. You divorce the parents, you force the children to pick sides and divide themselves. For obvious reasons, modern society has moved beyond that.
When two people have bonded and have built a relationship on a foundation of trust and understanding, and then one person starts doing things that are not in the interest of that relationship, then you end up with questions as to if they are interested in a relationship. When men do it, they're pursuing their natural urge to build a harem; when women do it, it's often because their current breeding stock is not what they thought it was. If it's due to a lack of emotional intimacy, boy do you have an issue there.
The suggestion I have for you is, if this is a fetish of yours, and you have a SO, do not start inviting random friends to do this because it will just hurt everyone involved. Try role-play and if that is not good enough, discuss hiring professional assistance because with hiring a professional, there are no strings attached. You're hiring a toy, using a toy, and that toy has a defined cost that goes away at the end of it and doesn't threaten the relationship. If your SO doesn't like using a Toy, then you have a decision to make.
Nolan Long
You don't have trouble getting laid because of muh hypergamy, you have trouble getting laid because you treat everybody around you like little chunks of male/female hivemind instead of individual people. The fact that you're willing to gloss over and simplify something like spree killings to prop up *your* personal issues suggests that you're some combination of self-centered and immature as well.
Brody Lee
The conclusion of the first paragraph was very weak--the men in lower tiers are simply sent to war, where they become champions and increase their smv or die for the causes of the nobles. The rest of the post was strong.
Your post was just totally ad-hominem trash.
Gavin Walker
Yes, good goy, this is absolutely correct! Let your wives and girlfriends get bred by random men to stick it to those losers who would DARE try to rank some people as superior to others
Ryan Phillips
Based + Redpilled
Grayson Price
You can be mad if you want, it doesn't change that most grown-ups manage to avoid generalizing people and give them enough basic respect to treat them like individuals instead of their bitch ex-girlfriend or a jock they saw in a movie one time. Did I hit a nerve?
That's your own issues talking again.
Justin Reed
There are some communities that exist online which dabble in the fetish, ranging from role-playing to full blown dominance and replacement. Your question sounds personal but I'll try and keep it impartial.
Now, I don't know anyone who's personally experienced this as a male, but I know two females who were desperate to keep their partners and let them open the relationship. The males who had this privilege were far more attractive than their partners. Did it destroy the relationship? Essentially yes.
The fetish is extreme since it takes an incredibly intimate experience which helps with bonding and essentially twists it into a sexual kink. This isn't like casual sex, typical the husband actively encourages it, hoping that the wife and new partner grow fond of each other.
Well in that case, why isn't it a love triangle? I mean, it isn't really love, is it? It's just an enforced relationship built upon the insecurity of one partner who cannot challenge their own issues. The girls I knew did it since they worried their appearance would make their partner stray, and the one guy who I knew who agreed to it only did so because of sexual performance issues.
Long story short, you're killing your relationship since you cannot resolve your own internal issues. Seek help, and don't mention this issue.
Isaac Bell
Hi Jordan.
Caleb Harris
dude dont take any of those memes seriously. They say anything to sound stupid and funny, hell in the anime board they freak over people holding hands as Lewd. It's mostly a joke.
Isaac Green
>she ends up developing feelings for that guy and dumps you if that can happen easily it won't stop her from leaving you otherwise. keeping her in a short leash so to speak won't stop her from leaving you if she's not fully satisfied with your relationship >unknowingly catches and STD and passes it to you there are condoms, the chances are pretty low if she's not a moron. if you really are still worried you can use a condom with her too and get checked every other month to make it very very unlikely >gets pregnant birth control is a thing that makes this very unlikely and additionally you can get a paternity test done depending on where you live
Luke Cruz
kill yourself.
Kevin King
Sex is emotional and intimate. It creates a connection between the two parties engaging in it. Love is also extremely, supremely, impossibly rarely equal. Someone will get more. Humans are ALSO impulsive creatures that have a deep-seated want for more. Another fuck, another session, another lover, a different lover, so on and so on. We also have a habit of believing, though this one isn't based around evolution, and instead social thoughts that have been around thousands of years, instead of evolution's hundreds of thousands.
Putting all that together, you can see why successful and satisfying polygamy is rare like natural platinum. Someone is getting shafted, something's fucked, and someone is getting screwed. Add to that; everyone thinks they're going to be "the one" that it works for and that "their's" is going to be sunshine and rainbows.
I've seen couples attempt it a lot. I've yet to see it not end horribly. The safest option (safest being relative) is to get someone neither of you know, having a threesome, and never contacting this person again. Not attachment, no connection, everyone wears a condom.
>I've seen couples attempt it a lot. I've yet to see it not end horribly. Couldn't the same be said about most relationships in general? How can a single causal factor of a relationship's decline possibly be isolated?
Jordan Gonzalez
You could say that.
I could say about two-fifths of the relationships I've known about have ended, and about half of those ended poorly. So, around 20 percent of the relationships I've known about have ended horribly. I don't have a fraction for those that try to change their relationship dynamic by adding more partners into the relationship. All I could give you is a whole number (I think six or seven, two of them including the same girl), because I've yet to see any do anything except end horribly. So, 100 percent bad ends.
Now looking at 20% of relationships failing spectacularly without it, and 100% of doing with it, you can apply math to get the answer of a 500 percent increase of JesusChristI'mactuallyspellingitoutforyouheresopayattention, pointing to polygamy being a one-way ticket to being single and angry in the end.
