I've known a few people who have zero hangups about just going out to a bar on their own, having fun, maybe get with a girl maybe not, but generally have a good night. I don't understand this mentality. How can someone just go to a place without knowing anybody and it not be very obvious and strange? Does this work for going out to try and get a one night stands?
Going out alone
i dont know but i met one person in my life that did it
this dude was someone i knew from middle school
its been like 10 years since then, i was sitting with friends not so long ago and he came
he said he came alone expected familiar people and just sat with us without asking
nobody liked him and he was awkward, he took our waitress/hostess number and she ghosted him
my personal experience with these people
I used to be this sort of person... I can't talk for the rest of them, but it was just ego on my case, like "I'm so amazing that people must see"... and yes, its perfect for one night stands, but if you are asking yourself that now, I'm not sure if it will work out well for you
it works if you are a normally social, fun, and outgoing person. Otherwise it does not work
People don't read your mind or even want to.
But when you project what goes on in your mind outwardly, then it becomes obvious.
I just don't want to drink alone on a Friday
I used to be able to go out to drink alone with no qualms, I didn't even care if I didn't talk to anyone it was just a relaxing thing to me and I'd keep to myself and if some one talked to me I'd be happy to chat a bit. Now it takes all my willpower to leave the house cuz some retard part of me became too self aware and just feel like I'm taking up space now, kinda fucked up
I do this quite a bit. I like to meet new people. It is an easy way to do it. You do encounter groups of people that are closed off and don't want an outsider to interact in their group but personally I consider them to be the weird ones...
Yes, it works fine. I'd say it's even easier than going in a group. There is much more room to maneuver and do what you want without having to consider your friends. It also seems much more confident when you're alone.
I think I would be afraid of freezing up and find myself just stood without company. I am not naturally an outgoing and social person though. At least not recently. I guess I have my answer
It's easier alone for me, but I can go out with friends too. I spent most of my 20s in relationships, 30s now and the definition of "friends" is very different niwy. People I work with typically replace my friends with I used to work with. I can hang with my old highschool bro anytime but, I grew apart from them to the point that I am never interested in doing the same things. We catch up every now and then for beers or golf lol. Relationships also take up alot of time, but I am single again and find myself going through the same cycle. Brief cocoon mode, going out with newly formed aquientences, probably get suckered into a relationship soon but... I am hoping to hold out in cocoon mode. Reason = job is going well and I must be a late bloomer because I am finally getting jacked from the gym. But total isolation is too much, so I'll still hit a music show every couple weeks solo mostly.
You have to adopt the mind set that your going out to get fucked up and enjoy yourself not necessarily get a girl.
I've done it a few times before and it usually ends up being pretty fun. But this is because I am a decent conversationalist and know how to read social cues well enough to enter and exit conversations with grace.
You can try it a few times to see if it's your cup of tea. The last time I went out alone I ended up putting a cigarette out on my arm with a group of strangers, so I'm probably not going to bother doing that again for a long, LONG while.
>try going to a bar a few weekends
>freeze up
>stare at my drink for an hour or at the tv if they have one
>go home feeling ashamed and wasting 10 bucks on two beers
> How can someone just go to a place without knowing anybody and it not be very obvious and strange?
Those are your personal hangups and points of discomfort.
>You have to adopt the mind set that your going out to get fucked up and enjoy yourself not necessarily get a girl.
This is it pretty much. It's about living in the moment, and seeing what comes of it. You don't really think, you just go with the flow and it never occurs to you to think differently.
I say this as someone who grew up socially reclusive and anxious as all fuck, to the point where I was terrified of even answering doors or phones because I was petrified of the idea of having to talk to a stranger.
Eventually, around 18ish, I got sick of that shit, and bit by bit, spent the next half decade getting myself to change and be more social. I FORCED myself to do exactly all the things I hated, specifically because I knew that's the only way I would get better at it.
At this point in my life, it's been over a decade and I'm social to the point where it's literally second nature. When I'm out with my girl, I'll even have to actually actively check myself sometimes, because I know she isn't feeling social, and if I'm not policing my own behavior, I might end up making friends with random people at the bar, or just hanging out around us (It's happened more than once)
Lately I’ve been wanting to try this I just don’t know how I feel about walking in and everyone staring you stand out like a sore thumb
>Lately I’ve been wanting to try this I just don’t know how I feel about walking in and everyone staring you stand out like a sore thumb
I take it you've not been to many bars?
95% of the time, besides the staff, no one gives a shit and hardly anyone notices your presence.
That's paranoia speaking there on your end.
Lol why the fuck does it always have to be a bar? Go to gym or church or park or something else. You idiots always think bar=easy poon when, in reality, they’re extremely antisocial places.
>gym
not a social situation, people going to the gym want to work on their muscles in peace 90% of the time, pestering people there is poor form ESPECIALLY if you're new to the gym and others have their set routines, you'll be going there for 3 months before you get the acknowledgement nod from other patrons
>church
another case of anons talking out of their ass, most people going to church are old folks for one, and for the other if you're going to church to pick up "muh trad wife" you're extra high in chromosomes
>park
another case where people going there likely had a goal, to walk their dog or get some sun and unless you're a chad, you're just bothering them in their free time
sure you won't meet your wife at a bar, but people in bar scenarios expect that people might talk to them and won't be as put off by some stranger striking up conversation there
I don't understand people that need another person to go with them to do everything. I have zero trouble going to a bar, movie, dinner, or traveling around the world alone.
I heard a similar story once too, that's why I've never gone out alone. I guess it could work if you live in a city with millions of people, but otherwise I don't see it happening either unless you're really good-looking which would mean that you'd already have friends and bitches to go out with. Guys with low social status are simply fucked.
I think being social is like weight lifting. You should start with easy light weights and build up. Going out alone is not where you should start, it should be far down the line. Start socializing online, go to social gatherings of people you met online, then see where it goes. Someday you might be able to go out alone regularly and make some new friends every night.