Femanons how can you tell?

How can you tell that someone is a complete loser when they're trying to 'fake it til they make it'

>I'm just under 6' and Jow Forums
>chad jaw, hunter eyes, not balding, no wing nut ears, straight white teeth, clear skin
>huge Jew nose though
>I dress like Alpha.M dude from youtube, but more casual
>I have a notebook full of conversation topics which I have open during phone calls and text conversations
>script past conversations in my head trying to analyse where I fuck up whenever I talk to women
>have a decent, stable job
>never do stupid shit or embarrass myself when drunk
>literally learned to dance off YouTube
>play music very well and sing quite well
>always smile and greet everyone I meet, even strangers

Despite this people ask me in that specific condescending/morbid curiosity tone of voice:
>what do you do in your spare time? (implying I do nothing and am a complete loser)
>why do you always smile? (implying I'm a loser and it confuses them why I wouldn't walk around looking miserable)
>you don't smoke weed or take drugs? (implying I'm a pussy but my work has drug testing)
>are you a virgin/have you ever had a girlfriend/had a girl like you? (again, implying I'm a loser wanted by no one)
>do you train every day? (yes it's my no. 1 passion but they're implying I'm a loser who only goes to the gym and has no life)

Jesus fucking Christ I'm trying to just be a normal person and I don't understand where I'm going wrong. I can't hold a single conversation with a woman without her sensing something off and ghosting me instantly the day after I get her number.

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Im guessing these women are under 26?

Women hold socialization as a great skill, an art even. They can smell when another person isn't well versed and smooth in said art.

Personally I wonder how much your true motives are simply showing.

Ive done well with women when I really don't give a shit how my interactions with them turn out.

well your problem here is getting offended when they could very well be just questions.
You hold too much of an opinion about stuff, which can be a real turn off for most women. It doesnt hurt to just be cool, aka be alright with stuff you generally disagree with, you gotta stop trying so hard. It's like you are super hyper and pumped up and that is intimidating and annoying to women. Hell being relaxed wont always work with every woman but it's better than what you are doing.

Humans that grow up with physical and emotional warmth, will be able to tell when a person is acting out of genuine interest or when the natural flow is forced. Even if they can't tell the reason (i.e. you're following your notebook of questions, instead of your natural curiousity) they know something is off.

>I have a notebook full of conversation topics which I have open during phone calls and text conversations

>I'm trying to just be a normal person

Those two don’t mix

No one asks you if you've ever had a gf without already holding the opinion that you're a fucking loser.

no, because it might mean you are religious or it might mean you were very focused on your career. There are always mean people but if you are dating someone at first and they are getting to know you then what they are probably thinking is " are you well adjusted? am I ready for a project here? does this mean this guy just having one night stands?" the more you worry about the virgin part the more apparent they will think you arent ready to get rid of it.

Sounds like you’re the one implying how other people think in a very narrow way. You have some self esteem issues and seems to be confusing Internet memes with real life.

No one asks you if you've ever had a gf without already holding the opinion that you're a fucking loser.

Just learn to not give a fuck about anything.

no, women can be more forgiving than you think. Women arent men, they just want guys to be nice to them, well not the 10/10 girls or hottie, but normal girls just want to be treated more nicer than you do with your average person.

I tried that, and even read the book. What happened was I ended up with no friends and no life at all.

Just learn to love yourself and work on yourself. If you can be happy and content with yourself, others will too. You don’t have to have a “fuck everything” attitude. be your normal self and just relax.

You seem very easily offended and also vaguely Bateman-y.

just learning to love himself and shit isnt helping him. It helped no one really.

ok so thing is you are overly defensive, do you understand what that means?

Someone is grumpy. Self help helps a lot of people. Maybe you took one shot at it, failed and decided the whole thing is useless forever and for everyone. Sounds silly, no?

It's guys who usually ask that when they're trying to brag and make themselves look good. I have a policy of complete honesty and I usually say "that kind of thing comes naturally to most people but not to me"

not when telling some one learn to love themselves when they have no idea to go about it or how to do it.

thats a bad thing to do there hombre. Pretty much you are trying to set yourself apart from the pack by being judgemental of others, at least from the girls standpoint. Right now, you are sounding like you are better than those guys and it makes you come off as an asshole with out meaning too.
Thing is this you make it harder than it needs to be. You are trying to ne honest but people dont like honesty, because honesty is blunt and mean.
You have to stop trying too hard to prove you are worthy.

>I have a notebook full of conversation topics which I have open during phone calls and text conversations
>script past conversations in my head trying to analyse where I fuck up whenever I talk to women
these are fucking weird

I try every day to be the best I can be, but I would also like some genuine human interaction beyond the occasion pleasantries in passing. It doesn't help that I don't know what that feels like.

...

>I try every day to be the best I can be, but I would also like some genuine human interaction beyond the occasion pleasantries in passing. It doesn't help that I don't know what that feels like.
not that user but that's your problem. You dont need to do that. In fact you shouldnt if you want a woman in your life. It comes off weird, but if you dont mind what type of woman you go after, black women may be up your ally. Black women appreciate the shit you do, at least black women in middle class and lower.

I make a point of not trying to "be different" or act like I'm better because everyone can see I'm not. Not the Fedora type "all women are whores and owe me sex"

You cry out of genuine human interaction, but have a list of topics on your phone for conversations. This is a paradox. I get that having some aid to help you out can be good. But don’t pretend you’re fully in it for the human experience when you use a cheat sheet.
And of course finding yourself isn’t easy. It takes time and practice. And a lot of awkward conversations. Just try your best, but definitely try to drop the assumption of how people think of you.

ok let me try something else.
You know how you try to make a Point not be different? all the stuff you are saying? That is you trying too hard to prove you are a good person. You are trying to hard to show people who you really are and that sir gets boring and comes off egotistical. Thing is these people dont know you right? So it's almost you give your life story about why you do things the way you do. People arent interested in any of that. Also you treat things like a math problem or like a robot, you expect if you do one thing you SHOULD get this response. People dont work like that, especially women, they are illogical. When you start understanding that you are trying to hard to follow rules and conduct you take the fun out of being human.

Yeah conversation doesn't come naturally to me. My whole childhood was "shut the fuck up" and getting the shit beaten out of me daily by my alcoholic father so he could stare at the fuzz on the broken TV and pick through photos albums of his wife/my mother. She died giving birth to me so it was my fault up to the day he shot himself on their 20 year anniversary.

>Thing is these people dont know you right?
Actually it’s pretty obvious when someone tries to make particular impression: look better than they are, hide insecurities, make some particular kind of jokes that is considered “trendy” atm and stuff

stop, that maybe the case but that's what everyone does now isnt that right? So doing those things is also a show of confidence, you showing you are insecure doesnt help you in the slightest. It doesnt help, but faking it shows a side of you people like to see, it's just over doing is the problem.

How old are you?
Girls sometimes asked me that before turning 19. After that I was never asked again. I don't know why they do that.

I'm not trying to argue with you over anything here, just fully explain myself in anonymity.
>no parents or siblings
Can't relate to any conversation about family
>shit childhood
Can't relate to any childhood nostalgia or experiences which anyone had
>can't explain why because no one wants to hear about unhappy shit from someone else's life, it kills the mood.
Best case people think I'm weird for not watching any of the Disney movies, playing club sports, or never going on school trips etc.
I had to learn everything myself and I'm still playing catch up.

21

Google what a shit test is you faggot

So what if you are an only child you can still talk about it. People feel better when you give out a listening ear and let them talk about how they feel.
Talk about their childhood and dont mention yours. Dont be a downer.
dont make this about you, and you will see that you thinking about how you cant do something is what's holding you back. You dont have to talk about yourself. You talk about shit like class, current movies, popular culture. You need to make the effort to ask what's on other peoples minds than being stuck in your own. Do you understand?

I'm those situations myself I give an answer they wouldnt expect, almost like a fashion designer would. Does this make me look fat? No I think the deep color bring your hair out in contrast. Something stupid like that.

Read my earlier post It's hard conversing with new people especially because for almost every topic of conversation there's the "well what about you?" and then I'm fucked.
Most of my friends or acquaintances don't know a single thing about me, or if they do it's vague stuff I've said whilst trying to steer the convo away.

>why can't i reduce human interaction to an algorithm and have people not catch on

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what kind of questions are you asking?
"Hey how was your childhood growing up?"
Dont ask shit like that, stay away from family, stay away of shit that leads to sores spots. I get you are shit at conversation and I am trying to tell you why you are. You are trying too hard to be normal. You dont have to try to be normal you just have to take in conversation with out trying to prove something.

Talk about weather or sports or what is physically going on around you. I get you were abused, so was I, and you and I put too much effort to prove something. Being polight is all you need and that's not talk about something you know is politics or leads down a road of memories that make you sad. Focus on the moment just the moment.

1)you're too sensitive to those questions
2)instead of trying not give a fuck accept the reality as it is. This way you will be more relaxed which is attractive to people.
Honestly if the girl stops the conversation with you then it means you're just not for each other so you shouldn't be feeling bad about it. Might sound retarded but just be yourself bro. Whatever happens happens

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being himself seems to be trying too hard here, which is why I am trying to say he needs to be himself in a casual positive fashion. The him that is happy and and chill and doesnt let the past bum him out.

>>I have a notebook full of conversation topics which I have open during phone calls and text conversations

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Who the fuck does this lel

I agree

Something squid wars would do

You have some childhood issues.

so heres what you need to do. find shit to talk about. people these days HATE talking about religion, politics, deep down personal shit (unless you already are). so get a hobby amd git gud and talk about that with your peer. tell jokes and such. learn how humor works. etc

So do you have male friends you connect with and have conversations with naturally? If so simply apply the same mindset to talking to women. Stop analyzing the shit out of yourself and everyone else, it makes you appear weird and socially inept. Surely there must be some women that you would find conversation with to not be such a difficult chore? Maybe you're barking up the wrong tree and going after women that aren't really your type at all?

>hunter eyes, wing nut ears
These terms are annoying, I actively am trying to not know what they mean
>I dress like Alpha.M
Lmao well that's your first problem. To me he is a try hard, ugly inside and out
>script conversation
Makes every interaction seem fake and creepy

You need to understand that humans are incredibly adept at noticing fakeness. This is probably to avoid all of the psychopaths throughout the centuries. If you really want to learn on YouTube the only channel I femanon approve is Charisma on Command. It's pretty normie but it gives good advice.
How you're acting is like if someone said "oh I'm an amazing artist" but then can't draw without tracing. You need to learn the actual social skills and develop your unique personality based on your strength. Try to be more authentic.

You smell bad

Not a femanon but it's pretty easy to tell generally. Usually there are the people with a long term plan who have to fake it to get it started, and even if you notice that they fake it, it doesn't appear "malicious" so you generally ignore when it feels off. And there people who just want to get laid thinking it will solve their problems, and they tend to show too many warning signs, specially if you talk to them for longer than five minutes.

And just based on your post...

>chad jaw, hunter eye
>I dress like Alpha.M dude from youtube
Cringe as fuck, I wouldn't need to read on to know you got deeper issues.

>I have a notebook full of conversation topics which I have open during phone calls and text conversations
Just sad and probably noticeable when you don't keep to the natural flow.

>Charisma on Command
The earlier videos were decent but lately they have too much try hard shit that moves over from "faking until you make it" to actual dishonesty.

Call or write with someone and try to steer the conversation in a direction where you can tell her you are sexually fruststrated. Some of them are waiting for a booty call. Depends on how much numbers you have on your phone. if you look good, woman act different around you. However Women still think we are dumb as hell

>all of these implications that aren't actually implications
You're thinking way too hard about this, dude.

For instance, the drug thing is more of an incredulous question. Drug use is incredibly rampant, even in jobs with testing. People are kind of surprised by a young man that abstains. That's it. They think of you as unusually cleancut, not as a pussy.

You just sound like a hard worker. Just like when, during school, turning in an assignment meant you hoped the teacher saw the work you put into it then reciprocate with a good grade, even strangers can usually tell when someone works hard for something. That being said, when someone is seen working hard at socialising, it's perceived as bad because it is natural to want to find someone 'naturally talented' in something instead of someone who is very immersed in knowing every detail of the subject at hand through hard work alone. It is strange how some people would turn away a person like that but it isn't my problem.

These are genuine issues. However, it's worthwhile to note that your thoughts, feelings and actions are all interconnected in a triangle. This means if your thoughts are separate to your feelings and actions, you will be in denial and you will develop coping mechanisms that might be destructive. If your feelings are not in line with your thoughts and your actions, you might act on a whim or you might be under a significant amount of stress. You should try to equalise these factors and see them as concrete products. If your thoughts are formulated by your brain, your feelings are formulated by your heart (figuratively of course) and if your actions are formulated by your muscles, as long as this is all in order then you will have a perfectly functioning body. This is what you need, otherwise, your movements are going to be awkward, which is what gives everything away.
(cont.)

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It's always the unconscious impressions females get about your body language that give away inner desires. Even small things like facial expressions, stuttering, choice of words, certain smells and too much more go towards this impression that someone has towards you. It's simply too many factors to actually keep track of, many of which are largely uncontrollable entirely.

I also want to add that a lot of those questions do sound like genuine curiosity. "What do you do in your spare time?" Would this not imply interest in your private life? That is what is being asked about after all. Take it at face value. "Why do you always smile?" Is one of the more 'iffy' questions, because it is odd to be asked that. How would someone even reply to that? If anything though, it might be a compliment. Happy people stand out naturally. "You don't smoke weed or take drugs?" Society has truly changed. Drug culture is getting obnoxious and people who are not following such things just because it's a 'fad' wouldn't ask a question like that because they would respect your choice. It could also genuinely be curiosity, just strangely phrased. "Are you a virgin/have you ever had a girlfriend/had a girl like you?" So many times this is asked because someone wants to know if someone is single. Take it at face value. People ask questions. People ask strange questions sometimes but it's okay, because mistakes just happen.

Take things at face values and the less you think about why they are asking, the more you will think about WHAT they are asking which is important, otherwise, you would never be able to answer any question. And that isn't good because asking questions is incredibly stimulating for the brain if you just answer with honesty and thought.

Watched all of charisma on command and those types of channels. It's where I realised "be yourself bro" was about the worst advice ever because to all humans the person whom I am is incorrect.
>dress like alpha. m
What I mean is I dress in plain colours with few large brand names, look after my hair/skin and workout.

>be alright with stuff you generally disagree with
tell me more about libtards don’t want to turn alpha males into weak trannies dude

not gonna lie but this is good advice

>can't even get a gf
Sounds alpha as fuck indeed.

>>I have a notebook full of conversation topics which I have open during phone calls and text conversations
>>script past conversations in my head trying to analyse where I fuck up whenever I talk to women

This is a lack of confidence.

>relies on cheat sheets and self help youtube videos to talk to people
Bro I know your type. You most likely sound like a literal NPC in conversations. You have to sound natural in conversations. I highly doubt you sound natural when you're looking through your list of conversation topics while on the phone

>work on yourself
did you even read OPs first post roastie?hes almost doing like everything he can YOU FUVKCING MAD STACY WHORE

and not knowing what to say nor learning from your mistakes is...?

i mean you have no problem to give people a smile thats great cuze that’s everything youll ever need i mean just watch some ads there are dumb smiling clowns everywhere i think you are the biggest normie here filthy cunt

dude women nowadays are dead souls don’t worry about this just get yourself a eastern europe or chinese gril they are still fine i’ve heard

i guess he’s white dude wtf are you even trying jew

You're right I probably sound like an NPC because I'm trying to be enthusiastic and interested in the other person but sound completely 2 -dimensional to them.

Not OP but
>You need to learn the actual social skills and develop your unique personality based on your strength.
How? People don't wait around for you to bungle through a conversation. Once I was talking to a girl outside a concert (she had approached me) and I was just failing miserably. Couldn't think of anything to say, could hardly respond to her questions with more than a couple words, couldn't look her in the eyes. After a few minutes she simply stood up and walked away without saying anything. It was devastating. Same thing happened at a bar, except we were sitting next to each other and she just turned away from me and didn't turn back to look at me again, despite being right next to her. I took the hint and left. The truth is that if you suck at conversation, people would rather talk to someone who doesn't suck,and those people are everywhere.
>Try to be more authentic
Fuck you, that's trash advice meant for women's magazines. In real life, we all constantly alter our behavior to fit in with the multitude. It's wired into our brains to learn what society deems acceptable and adopt it for ourselves. Nobody is authentic, everything we ever do is tempered by our knowledge of social rules. We're trying to be socially acceptable people so we can finally fit into society. Don't undermine that. I know you think your cute girly "everyone is beautiful and if they don't think so theyre wrong" advice is helpful, but it's not and you need to stop so we can get some real help.

dude he has a great while smile you better watch your fucking mouth roastie in a fair world he could have all the good women imo

>Couldn't think of anything to say, could hardly respond to her questions
Now ask yourself WHY. And then the why for the answer and so on.

>The truth is that if you suck at conversation
Obviously but there are many potential reasons why. Figuring them out and adjusting the issues will make you suck less, with some practice even not suck at all.

>muh authenticity
All fair points but you missed that the user wrote "MORE authentic". It's not about being some unfiltered sperg who talks about how great your dick would look with her lips around it. There is a lot room inside the "acceptable behaviour" bracket to let in some personality shine through and stepping outside of the limits a bit can work too, if it's done in authentic way and not for the sake of it.

I'm a white Jew, and naturally attracted to white women.
Yeah most people won't give you the time of day to help you develop as a person, and especially so for women.
From this thread's advice I'm going to try to be more natural, however paradoxical that may sound.

Females can just smell loserdom/virginity.
It's why it's impossible for anyone who doesn't have prior experience to 'make it' after a certain age.

>Now ask yourself WHY. And then the why for the answer and so on.
Reminds me of the B.E. entirely yourself meme, thanks for the laugh and despair.

t. crab in bucket incel

>self reflection causes despair
I mean, it's a start.

Just personal experience and many years of looking for people that 'made it' after being losers in their 20s.

How much of a loser were they? If they unironically bought into incel shit as teens, it's likely that they wouldn't become normal people over a few years. But dudes who just sucked at socializing and then learning it in their later 20s isn't that rare or special.

OP, listen to this user. You're trying way too hard.

I don't know, never found any legit stories of losers making it online and I'm still a loser myself despite trying.
I don't know any irl loser since I don't have any friends.

Aaron, is that you?

underrated