What the fuck is this

Going through the exact same thing in life at a way earlier stage, we'll get through it together user. I've been telling myself the future is promising to give myself something to subconsciously look forward to, and it serves as a great band-aid till you find what your medicine is.

>Don't want to hike alone.
Why not. There's literally nothing wrong with hiking alone, I do it all the time.

>As I said, things were looking good for me. Future looking ok financially, got a nice car I have alot of fun with, while all my weeb and nerd stuff are still there to enjoy.
You've mentioned this like three times now, why do you keep bringing this up?

Everybody needs a comfort blanket. Don't know if this was a judgment or a genuine curiosity, but you have one too homie.

I keep bringing it up because that's what's very strange to me.
I spent all the years from 19 to 26 being a hikkineet who never left the house and I didn't feel a fucking thing.
Then I'm fixing my life, am at a good spot, and the feels start hitting. It doesn't make any sense.

Because you are 27 kid.
Your body and mind is telling you that something is missing in your life.
Strap on, you are in for a ride, it gets much worse.
39 year old virgin here, tried hard the last few years to change my fate, big failure, all effort and work went to waste, it's too late for me.
I hope it's not too late for you.
You have as I understand a job and as I understand an income, make the most of it to shake your life, break it if you have too, take the risks you didn't take when young.

I don't want to make you feel more depressed, but It Is kinda sad to hear what you just said, I hope you are feeling at least fine, if not happy

What did you do, how did it fail?
There's no real way to get these things at my age, or so it seems.

Well maybe its that you're lonely. Try socializing at work, going places, and meeting girls.

28 year user fixing his life here,

The main issue you are feeling if same as me is this. You feel it is too late to make effective change. You do not even need to regret your past choices but you can admit you did them inefficiently.

I could have played all those games and did my other hobbies, also not entirely screwing up my life. I didnt need to order that late night pizza for the nth time. Making my weight losing adventure shorter. Also not making me a fatass in the meantime, effectively increasing my chance with a girl.

Hell i had at least 3 opportunities i screwed up in the last month of a cold approach to a girl i know would have worked out in at least a conversation. I say this because my entire life feels like missed opportunities right now. I put in the efforts, the rewards are yet to come in completely. So i feel the actions are for naught and it saddens me, making me features i might be too late. I believe not, i can not..

My work involves real estate and hospitality, so I'm literally socialising there. But it's funny, I can socialise just fine with customers, but I can't for the life of me socialise to make friends.
And I have no idea where to go, what to do, etc in order to meet people and make friends.
Let's not even talk about girls. That's out of the question.

I'm so low I don't care anymore.
I'm not fine or happy.
>What did you do, how did it fail?
Various things like studying, learning stuff, working (more like helping because I wasn't paid nearly enough for the effort I put and the results I brought, hoping something will get out of it in the future), exposing myself more to the world, even managing to talk to women and going out to the movies with one woman and taking other women to dinner and a drink, even talking semi-seriously with 2 women to go a trip together.
Little things, but it took much effort from me because I had to do it despite not believing in me.
And yet, the effort seemed to pay off, I was making progress, I almost felt happy for some time.
And then the end of the previous year it all came crashing down spectacularly, multiple total failures in many fronts, double crossed and completely cut off from multiple people in the span of a few weeks, and now I'm in a much worse place than I was before I started this effort 3 years ago.
Since then 2019 is continuing this trend of destruction, fallout after the big destruction of 2018.
It's not going well at all, it's going very bad in fact.

Please though, don't derail this thread with me.
I'm not seeking advice or hoping salvation for me, I made my sins and mistakes since I was born and now I'm getting punished.
I just came here to answer to OP because I used to think like him at his age.

Making friends is as easy as socializing, you're halfway there. Meet people, find some commonalities, go from there.
>Let's not even talk about girls
We have to. /You/ have to face your fears. I know you don't want to be alone all your life.

I' younger than you, but I just learned how to start talking to girls. And in truth, its way easier than I thought it would be. And if you want a slice of truth... at the end of the day you'll feel much better if you talk to a girl and get shot down than saying nothing and wondering what would have happened.

Why would a girl talk to me though?
How do you go from acquaintances to friends with someone?
There are some things I'm planning to do that I will find people with common interests there, but i never learned how to invite people and all that stuff. I always functioned by 'If they like me, they'll invite me'.

Hey man this doesn't really help you specifically but I just wanted to tell you not to lose hope. It's never too late man we all have one life and some of us get a bad roll. But don't let that discourage you we all make do with what we have. I don't want to make any assumptions of you but I I know people who are born into Wheelchairs and still manage to live a very happy life. Some died of drug problems in their 20s cuz of it and some become paralegal athletes doing those one leg deadlifts and wheelchair races you see on YouTube. You can go and tell those people how unfair life is but they don't care they don't let it define them. My point is the perspective and view on life is up to you. When it comes to loneliness don't accept it, we as humans all need human connection it's part of our DNA. Observe dogs and other animals who socialize and look at the way we do it it's not much different it's just human nature to want to be with others and loneliness is a natural process that you feel from chemicals in your brain telling you to go talk to someone else. You can't fight your basic nature and I think you know it too. Get out there and put yourself out there man you have nothing to lose. Don't give up and hide behind acceptince, your better than that. I hope you take what you need from this post. Best of luck man and don't give up. Hope is what makes us human

Therapist advice on the possible why. If you're right and youve put yourself in a good financial/career sitch, you've relieved some stresses relating to that. And since that is safe, you have more energy to focus on those self esteem issues you've compartmentalized.

You feel worse because you are a little better. Everyone else's advice is sound, work on confidence through activity and action. Hell, even focusing on keeping a clean house is how my father helped me out of my depression.

>27 years old loner virgin
Your natural instincts are telling you to fulfill your natural desires. Thats really all life is: to fulfill your own natural desires.

That's all nice and good anons, but why does noone ever get a bit more specific?
Vague generalisations such as 'go out more', 'talk to people more' are fine, but noone ever seens to give advice on what to say and do in order to actually make friends.

You're a man. You initiate conversation with a woman. That's how the game works.
I can't give you a step by step guide, otherwise you'll get frustrated when what works for me doesn't work for you. Sometimes I get invited to a bar with a friend. Sometimes I'll see what a friend has going on later on and see if they want to hit the bar. And before you say "I don't like drinking," it's not about drinking, it's about meeting informally in a social area. You can go there and order a coke for all they care, it's just a place to chat.
And nah man that's a submissive, losers way of thinking. Someone has to ask somebody and you're omitting yourself from that equation, probably because you're afraid of coming off weird. But one thing I've learned in my experience is that it's only weird if you make it weird.
"hey, you got anything going on later tonight or this weekend?"
>yes/no
"Cool, because there's this spot I go to/this new bar I've been wanting to check out, was gonna see if you wanted to tag along."
And again, it's not a script, it's not a test, that's just what I would say. It's a normal conversation. You clearly don't have anxiety, but some confidence issues I think. Just work on it. When you meet a cool person and become friends with them, it'll come naturally to ask them out (as a friend).

Not op but how do i get basic self-esteem as 26 neet? Fear is just paralyzing everything and too big for me to fight it.

I've never been in a bar. I will ask acquaintances if they go to bars and stuff though.

It's a journey. Don't think of the journey as a road to achieving self-esteem, think of it as a road to learning about yourself. Same thing I said to OP, get a hobby, join a club, do some volunteer work, something, anything. Learn what you like and dislike, just don't stay inside all day doing what you're doing. Change comes from the inside.

Baby steps. Start by keeping your house clean, get a regular schedule of any kind with actual healthy or productive parts. You don't have to fix everything. You might feel like you need to, that you are at the lowest. But the person putting the most weight on you is usually you.

The more comfortable you get, the more you will experiment with your schedule to find what is tailored to you. Once you gain mastery (or even adeptness) at something and you start applying it, great! Now you will feel a bit better about yourself as a human, and you can expand. Do more and more. Very few people have confidence right out the back, and some take a but longer to develop it. But my mother at 58 just went back and got her master's. It's never too late to change.

Just act like you have it already. Dont own your "disease", ignore it and dont let it weigh you. That way it will impact you way less.

>this new bar I've been wanting to check out, was gonna see if you wanted to tag along.
Or, you could ask if they go to one. Either one works.
Oh, and in the event you do go to hang out, remember to treat them like a friend and not a psychologist. Don't unload all your life weight onto them. That can weird some people out. Relax, but have some self awareness.

And try a hookah bar if you've never tried one before. That shit is fun, really gets you in the socializing mood.

I cant do shit without crystal clear vision what im going to do therefore i end up doing nothing. I also have zero idea where i might be decent career wise. Ironically if ill start working, i wont be able to attend therapist. Basically i punishing myself just because i am born into this world.

I'm the opposite actually, I will probably put on my best normie face and hide any semblance of sadness that doesn't involve fuel prices or my team losing in sportsball, etc etc.
I really tend to hide my feelings and am also very ashamed and desperate to hide some of my more un-normie hobbies and my overall powerlevel.

So what are you going to do?
And you're not the only person with those problems. If you ever happen to want to discuss it with someone, make it a discussion and not a rant where you're talking for like 5-10+ minutes straight. That can turn people off from wanting to hang out with you.

And about your non-normie hobbies; don't take them too seriously. If it isn't in a persons interest and they pick on you, don't take it personally. It's just banter.

Well, you know how stuff like anime and videogames are viewed, especially at my age.
I don't want those normies to find out I'm actually a loner weeb.

>So what are you going to do?
Go to therapist but remain neet.

Again, it’s only weird if you make it weird. All my friends know I love anime. Eh, well normie stuff anyway like Naruto.

Of course there is some stuff that should probably stay to yourself like moeshit or waifu trash or any of that stuff... just use your discretion. But so long as you don’t make anime the center of your personality, it should be fine, unless this something you genuinely do not want to discuss with others in which case you don’t have to.
Good luck. Continue to improve.

I'm a shut in with extreme social anxiety and am SUPER cringy awkward in person.

But getting in shape has ALWAYS attracted the ladies and makes me more confident.

We got together at an anime con. She basically went home with me and never left.

Currently 32. Married to wife who is 30. Shes about to finish her PhD in a year.

We play ps4 together and watch anime on weekends.

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>extreme social anxiety
>anime con
Nope. You’re lying

Because we don't know your life, dude. You can tell us all you want, but remember. We are strangers on the internet and we only hear your tailored story. If you want more tangible advice, a good first step might be finding a therapist who works with anxiety (if you can get granular, social anxiety) and issues relating to self perception.