Also, i feel like you‘ve tried all the commonly suggested ways to approach this. My suggestion now is to look inwards to find the reason you have never been able to socialize with ease. Humans are naturally social. If one isn‘t, then that‘s because he/she learned that other humans are not to be trusted or that he/she isn‘t worth their attention, let alone love.
Carter Lewis
Books I've read >How to win friends and influence people >Models >Books by Leil Lowndes >CBT books And many others
I just feel like I have nothing worthwhile to say. Don't know when to say something, worried I'll interrupt someone Worried I'll say the wrong thing
>I just feel like I have nothing worthwhile to say. Oh, you have! The issue is just that you don‘t think it‘s good enough. Or to be more precise, you don‘t think you are worthy to be listened to in the first place. Which i can guarantee you isn‘t true.
>Don't know when to say something, worried I'll interrupt someone Worried I'll say the wrong thing
This is likely going to happen. It happens to even the most skilled socializers. But it‘s no issue, people make mistakes, people get the fuck over it. The fact you feel like you can‘t afford a single slip up is very telling. It tells me that you are intensely concerned about the image you portray to the world. Why is that? Why do you feel like real you is not good enough to be seen? What do you need to hide from others?
Isaiah Carter
>Why do you feel like real you is not good enough to be seen? What do you need to hide from others? Just by reading my first post.. I'm a loser. No friends, missed out on life
When I hear other people talk, they tell interesting or funny anecdotes about their experiences in life. Travels. Things they've done with friends.
Even basic things, like it's summer now. Every girl talks about wedding season. People talk about going to cottages with their friends.
I've never been to a wedding, except when I was a kid, went to relatives weddings. I've never been to a cottage before. I literally have nothing to say
I‘ve read it, yes. And i‘m pretty sure the fact your life went the way it went so far is tied to you feeling unworthy. And i am also pretty sure that you‘ve felt that way since a long time. Can you remember the last time you were proud if yourself and would have presented yourself uncensored to the world without shame?
Yes, people are social. You would be social too if you felt comfortable doing so. But you first need to find out why it makes you so uncomfortable so you know where to start to learn to enjoy being social.
Samuel Ortiz
I was proud in highschool I suppose. Always got high grades without trying, was decently liked by everyone
But going to uni, I realized I don't really have friends or social skills. Always feel like I'm poor. I'm unattractive and short
I know my problems.. but don't know how to overcome them tbqh
The other thing is that I look at people my age or younger and see how they are doing
>Former classmates making 2-5 times what I do >Fresh grads making more than me too >I'm several years older than coworkers too after switching careers It all sucks tbqh
try this as your next book well, it's not a book, it's not about philosophy and it's really not even about getting girls. it's more about life and i think it'll be helpful.
Kayden Smith
Don't just blindly compare people like that, it's not equivalent. A lot of what we are is by nature, and then we all grow up having different experiences. You have no idea what the lives of those people "doing better" were like, probably not especially tough and parents loving and supporting them. I don't know what your life was like either, but if it was anything like mine it wasn't the easiest. Think about how well you've done in spite of the obstacles; you still care enough to try to change at the very least. Many on here give up on even that, just accept an empty lonely life.
Nicholas Cook
Thanks
>just accept an empty lonely life. but I'd like to change this somehow tbqh
Christopher Ross
I wrote a little awkwardly, I meant to say lots people accept an empty life, but you shouldn't. This stuff is mostly mental, if you want to make things different look at your beliefs and ideas and ask yourself if they're helping you get what you want or hindering you.
Ryan Reed
Did you graduate from college? What were you trying to do?
By now you should've at least made one friend but if most people were already in circles I can imagine why you haven't been able to make solid friendships.
Jace Baker
There's literally nothing you can do at this point Any and all efforts you make will result in failure. I recommend taking up drinking or drugs
Julian Barnes
Thanks
I read that book a long time ago. Maybe I'll do a reread
Should've asked that somewhere in your OP. Even your typed social skills need improvement, kek.
Jose Stewart
Jihad.
Carter Rodriguez
Hijacking this thread because I am confused.
I was on a date the other day. She dressed up, makeup, was flirty, lots of eye contact, touching. Then I tried to kiss her and she moved back. She said I chose "the worst possible moment" laughing.
Any insight?
Jonathan Fisher
Leave this in the ATOGA threads.
Christian Hall
Read the 48 Laws of Power if you haven't already or read it again. Remember things could always be worse. The first step to happiness is gratitude.
Thomas Gomez
Nah, bruh. Shrooms or LSD.
I'm willing to bet you're a bit of a sperg. It really helps.