ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Never keep your hobbies hidden

>Also, girls might have dated a lot of guys but not necessarily slept with them

Girl I'm with right now dated first guy for 4 years, next 3 years, then married for 3 or 4 and then divorced and dating 3 or 4. So, 10, 15 years of easy access to sex. Been that way since high school for her.

I can go about 1, 2 years between break ups.

It can be intimidating, honestly. You really wonder how special they find sex with you or how they would feel about going years with out anyone wanting you.

I think dating implies exclusivity. Not that you have to be a couple to be dating, but it's got to be more than just feeling each other out.
Also
>most girls don't know how to sex either unless they're total hoes
It's fine if you're not into more casual stuff than dating, but that's a shitty thing to say. Most of what you said applies to looking for real relationships, but if a guy is looking for anything less, experience is worth something I think.

>Girls dont give a fuck about how many women you've been with
Not true. I was seeing a girl pretty casually for two months. We were talking about number of partners, and she was in the 20s whereas I had only been with one woman before her. Made her super insecure and the whole thing went sour.

>Is there a subtle way of your gf finding out what lingerie you'd like to see?
>If not, what would be the least awkward way to ask you what you'd like to see your gf in?

But what if my hobby is shitposting on Jow Forums?

>user, does this turn you on?
>undress
or
>user, what kind of lingerie do you find sexy?

Girls

I've never been in a relationship. Never had sex. Not even sure if I want either anymore. But I am curious to see if pursuing either might help me grow and mature as an adult and do the dame for someone else.

So my question is this: Without going into too much detail, can you list some ways that your first relationship(s) helped you learn about yourself?

The only thing my first relationship taught me was that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet.
If you're old enough to be thinking about how a relationship can help you mature, you're probably old enough to be ready for one at least.

Is there no subtle way?

>>Do girls/guys like ?
>>What do girls/guys think about
>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
Demonstrable bullshit

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It taught me what I could and could not stand on people. It taught me that if I don't verbalise my issues, they'll never get resolved. It taught me if I'm not honest about myself with what I want, then everyone suffers. Hope this helps user.

>171 women would accept a man of 4'8"
Damn, that's a lot higher than expected.

Thanks for providing my point

well, you could try to get there slowly. in this case wait until the topic of arousal emerges randomly.
though i doubt if it's needed

What is the medium criteria for a guy to be attracitve and successful for girls at the age of 21-22?

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If / when we start flirting, how do I change the conversation to it without being obvious? I feel like leading with something like teasingly saying "I might wear something nice for you" but then when he returns with what's basically an enthusiastic "ooooh nice", I wouldn't know how to take that further without being really obvious. "Tell me what you want to see me in" hardly screams subtle.
I would like it to remain a surprise if at all possible.

Girls don't think about it at all, their brains simply aren't capable of deep thoughts. Only thing that goes on in their heads is: "eww, virgin bad! no girl likes him!" and "omg big dick Chad has many girls, me like him too :)"

>The only thing my first relationship taught me was that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet.
That's actually pretty significant isn't it?
>If you're old enough to be thinking about how a relationship can help you mature, you're probably old enough to be ready for one at least.
I'm 26. My problem seems to be motivation. But I can't expect someone else to resolve that for me if it's not a genuine interest. That would just be manipulative.

>It taught me what I could and could not stand on people. It taught me that if I don't verbalise my issues, they'll never get resolved. It taught me if I'm not honest about myself with what I want, then everyone suffers. Hope this helps user.

I guess so. I've learned those sorts of lessons through other experiences albeit in much different contexts obviously. It's the value of intimacy I don't understand. I can imagine it and feel like I want it but I know whatever I might imagine is not the same as the real thing. Still, feels like I'm depriving myself of a crucial part of the human experience.

uh, why exactly can't you just speak your mind though?

To clarify, I'm not asexual. I'm attracted to the opposite sex and I've had crushes in my younger years. But anytime I feel like I'm growing an attraction to someone(real or not) it doesn't last long. Guess I fucked myself over. lol

I can later, I'd just like to surprise him right now

>I would like it to remain a surprise if at all possible.
Then surprise him. I'm almost certain you're more interested in the details of the clothing than he is. Unless he has some particular fetish like leather or latex the effect should be the same regardless of the fabric, color, design etc.

The thing about lingerie and all revealing clothing is that the effect is not in what is shown but what is concealed. I would suggest wearing whatever makes you feel the sexiest. Worst case scenario he doesn't like it and wants to get you out of it asap.

If you're problem is motivation there's not much that can be done except pushing for it. Some people just don't need or care for relationships like that. As long as you're happy and motivated in other areas of your life I wouldn't worry.

try to browse his porn history/folder?
or get your mutual male friend to help you?
other than that, it's a chance thing. talk about sexiness many times until he tells you that randomly. alternatively, try some different lingeries to see his rreactions.
dunno, really. it all depends on your sexual histories, the more experience the better

I learned that getting into relationships at a young age was totally fun, easy and nice. But you grow apart very quickly due to life changing circumstances as you enter adulthood. Personality and otherwise. Also learned that prioritizing looks is a good way to get into bad relationships.

When I was 16 (almost 17) I was so horny I arranged an appointment with an Asian prostitute. I had no idea what I was doing and didn't really know what I liked sexually. My inexperience and her lack of English skills resulted in me not cumming.

Thanks for the reponses.

>As long as you're happy and motivated in other areas of your life I wouldn't worry.
More content than happy, more habituated than motivated really. But life goes on. I have no grounds for complaint.

>I learned that getting into relationships at a young age was totally fun, easy and nice. But you grow apart very quickly due to life changing circumstances as you enter adulthood. Personality and otherwise.
I figure that comes with the territory, especially with youth. Not sure how I'd deal with it once I'd grown attached though. I've never been the possessive type obviously but that could change with the right person. Hard to say.

>Also learned that prioritizing looks is a good way to get into bad relationships.
Physical attraction does matter but not my number one priority. Maturity, honesty and openness to new experiences would all rank much higher than just appearance for me. But I know it's easy to get swept up in first impressions.

>Also learned that prioritizing looks is a good way to get into bad relationships.

I know people in their 30s that havent learnd this yet.

I’m late to the game on that front, but I’ve learned now. My first gf was cute, but overweight. After that I overcompensated and only dated models and/or athletic girls. But now I’m finally at a point where I value personality and health. And been in a steady good awesome relationship since.

Thats beacuse people don't know what to look for in a good relationship is. You can prioritize looks and still have good relationships. Learn to vet people correctly and it's a non issue.

when i started dating my boyfriend i wasn’t attracted to his looks at all- only his personality

his looks grew on me, but now one year later i’m feeling the same way again

i’m not especially attracted to his face, and i’m not attracted to his body at all. he’s insanely skinny and his bones uncomfortably dig into mine during sex

idk what to do... i feel genuinely awful about it

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Force feed him?

lol we make food together all the time but he doesn’t put on a single pound

then again i shouldn’t really be talking i’m underweight slightly myself

cook better food

I'm 25 and just finishing the 1st semester of a 6 semester long nursing program. I havent had a gf in 6 years and now im thinking about asking a girl out who is 20. Is there any problems with this especially since we are in a program with another 2 and a half yeara to go? Is it a good idea to date someone in my program?

I am 23 and a sophmore in college this fall, I have never had a girlfriend and everytime I try to talk to some in school I feel like I come across as annoying or weird. How can I talk to a girl and ask her out on a date? Is that considered weird if I do this?

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Fuck him the ass with a strap on a d use butter as lube. The rectual lining will absorb the butter

Girls

Give me the process and timeline for how you fell for a guy. Like when did you notice you liked him. How long did it take to date him. How'd that go?

Women
How likely is it for you to get back with an ex you really had a thing for? asking for a friend

Were you expecting to bleed?

I guess so, since my hymen did break. All we found was tiny a piece of skin when I was showering after the sex. You know how when you bite the inner part of your cheek and a piece of skin falls off? Something like that.

How do I stop getting a boner every time I touch my girlfriend?

Friend->crush->boyfriend
Days, months of laughs. time alone and that he protects you (hike/wandering in the city, etc)
crush- 2 weeks. (he should not be too pushy)
dating - 1 month (happiest time)
boyfriend

crush->boyfriend
dating - 2 weeks (happiest moment)
boyfriend - not solid enough, a lot of conflicts.
not the way.

If he cheated 0%
If you broke up with him, because you were bored/silly/immature 50%, unless you meet someone new.
If you have to see him constantly 75%.
If he starts dating another girl, and somehow he is able to look real with this girl, and he stops dating her... 50%

Ladies, quick pls

How long did it take for your birth control to clear up your acne? I have an appt regarding changing mine but I don't know if I should give it some more time to work out. First cycle gave me acne worse than ever before and made my skin peel. Second cycle, same thing. Starting third and a week in and my face looks like it's clearing itself up? I don't want to cancel this appointment and then have it only come back to really bad in a few days like it has been doing.

Fascinating how short the crush period is for girls

My boyfriend is no longer like before, all of the sudden. He's not distant whenever we see each other, but he always seems tired, doesn't want to do many things, even on his own, doesn't talk as much, has trouble having sex and is not very communicative when we're apart from each other.
When I asked him if there's anything troubling him, he says that he's a simpleton and didn't really think about it and just let it go.
He's a very blunt and straight forward type of person, so far he just points out things that annoy him. He has always been an introvert and I am his first gf. We've been together for 6 months now, met his parents last week etc. He's 28.
What usually makes you feel down if everything seems to be alright? He doesn't have any job or money issue by the way.

Hyperdose him vit d3 and get him out of rut of constant same job and activities

Do something fun togheter

maybe parents who don't like my gf?
serious problems with friends
my own fuckups
illnesses, even the undiagnosed ones
apparently, some people have great issues with falling out of love with a partner they don't want to hurt.

dunno, user. ask his best male friend?

Maximum amount of hours /week work you would accept on boyfriend? Im working 45h so thats not huge amount but more than average.

At what point you would feel neglected / alone
Or is it just spending quality time whenever possible

nut

sounds like depression

I mean, it isn't really how many hours you work, it's how many hours outside of that you're happy to put aside for your partner. Also the hours worked make a difference too

Guys,
How do I know if I am a good GF?
It feels too random and insecure of me to just ask that straight up, and as he is very careful he might just say I am good even if it's not true.

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Tried to ask him to do some fun stuff, doesn't feel like it. We did go out a bit, hiking, nothing crazy. I loved it, he was alright but not as excited.
When I asked him what he did during the week, just nothing apart his usual stuff ie work, sports team practice, video game.
The only difference, is that he went back playing a video game for hours everyday, while he only played a bit before. I wonder if it affected him?

He doesn't have a best friend, again, very introvert.
The only thing he said about myself is that I am a bit too passive and he doesn't feel comfortable that I act like a guest in his home but I don't think that's enough of an excuse for him not doing anything during the week when we're apart. But still, every time I wake up by his side, he would just snuggle and cuddle at around 6am saying nothing much. Again, so far he has always been very blunt, immediately stating what's alright, what's not.
The main difference this time, himself doesn't know what's going on and admits he's a simpleton who never ever overthinks.

is he visibly happier to see you than anybody else? i know, tricky to check. ask a friend to observe.

also, do you care about him, do nice things to him by your own incentive, help him in times of real need?

are you friends beside being lovers?

Always work on yourself. Be mindful, stay positive and happy. You don’t really have to think deep on this one.

well, if there actually is an issue, then it's an overwhelming kind. and probably one that he doesn't understand. how old are you two? does he have any friends at all?

Thanks you two, it is reassuring. Feel more confidence now, you were helpful.

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We're both 28. He has some friends, but not very confident with them. He sees them often as he practices sports with them at least twice a week, and only have a drink, never gets personal.
I repeat myself because his only "complaint" was that I act too much like a guest, while he wants me to dominate a bit more, and not letting him set up absolutely everything. But I do believe it's only one part of the issue because issues started last week, one morning he decided not to do anything except playing video games (competitive game), and he gets absorbed by it more and more often. I didn't complain at all, I did let him play and watch him. He probably feels guilty about it. I do believe the game is only here to compensate something missing.

Girls:
I have a shit ton of Dragon Ball S.H. Figuarts in my room along with comics that I collect and video games. Will that affect your attraction to the person? Obviously I'd date someone with the same interests, but still, it worries me.

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I would guess how you organize it is a bigger deal. And if you dust.

oh wow. must be my first time on Jow Forums to achive this.
well, godspeed!

Oh, I dust my toys and they're organized on shelves. Same with comics. All in drawer boxes organized by series. Nothing is thrown in the floor.

A girl I'm really close with talks about her ex (she's still seeing him casually) sometimes and it leaves me in an awkward position where I don't know what to say. She'll show me screenshots of their chats when they're being all lovey or things like that and I just don't really want to see it.

I don't think it's jealousy, it just feels like I'm being reminded that I'm single and lonely and don't have anyone to be like that with. Is there a way to tell her this without it coming across in a shitty way, or making her think she can't share things with me? Or should I just suck it up, carry on, and think about other shit?

hmm
i would expect then that it's the first time he complaints about your behavior, but not the first time he feels it. it's possible that he only now realised it troubles him.
on the otgher hand, it seems weird to me that such an issue would affect him this way, so perhaps he instead feel the same kind of pressure from different sourcs? that is to say, maybe he feels he has to act and decide for everyone around?
but that's just far gone speculations, ofvcourse.

on another notice, i remember being in a psychological mess once and hoping for my gf to step in and help me, bt she nver did. of course she didn't have to, but you see my ont, i hope

guess it's time to wait. say, two more weeks

oh my god dude get rid of her

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post her what you just told us, maybe?

It's not truly the "first time", he mentioned it a few times but it's the first time he's absolutely down, not even in panic mode or anything (I've already seen him in panic mode and it's very different).
Yeah I will see him this week-end. Thing is, I won't see him for three weeks after that.
I asked him countless of times, but he always says he doesn't know. When I asked him I feel sorry I couldn't help him or make him feel any better, he answered with "if you can't, who can then?".
My theory is that he's an introvert for his whole life and it's only since he joined his sports team that he started to make some friends. But he doesn't know what to do next, that's my thought. I want to help him think more and realise what's going on but I don't want to pressure him neither. He's always very defensive, "I'm a simpleton, don't overestimate my thoughts". The more I ask him about it, the more he feels guilty, I think.

A girl and I recently acknowledged for the first time a rift that has formed between us. We had a lot of attraction towards each other but nothing 'official.' She told me she needed time to think about stuff, but not too long that after she sends me a pic of some random model from tumblr and says "he reminds me of you." This is followed up by trivial smalltalk and the like. What kinda game is she playing with me because i'm really confused.

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then try to be more decisive, i guess. ge him ona surprise date, planned entirely by you? and get him off of the computer.
at least, that would probably help me in the long run, in such situation.
guess i can't be of any more help, sadly

The honest cunt answer is; yes, it will definitely affect how i feel. I’m down with gaming and will sit through a marvel movie without give a snarky remarks etc. but excessive toy collections... they are for children. And comes from a medium which the demographic is children/teenager. It’s not cool.

yeah grow the fuck up lmao

is she below 20yo?

kiss her.
see her reaction

Granted I have been celibate for long stretches of my life so I don't really fit the picture of someone who's had sex lots, still I know plenty of women who have and it's much more daunting and more of an issue from the other side where you feel inferior. Yes every woman who has sex without being picky has a lot of bad sex.

The most important things to being a good lover cannot be learned. If you just want to put it in, thrust and done, you can have sex thousands of times and still suck at it. Yes ideally women correct you, but it's not fun to tell your own partner that they're bad at sex, and what often happens is the woman says she wants something differently, he does it for a week or two weeks, then stops and it's all back to the way it was. It takes a lot of energy to keep bringing up that discussion again, on top of the hurt/disappointment that they don't care enough to really flip a switch.

Being good at sex is about being in touch with your own sexuality and knowing what you like; about being sensual; about having empathy and emotional sensitivity towards your partner. That's mostly it. Being compatible in terms of kinks/turn ons also helps make sex better. These skills can be built but it's hard and most people don't do a great job. Simply being into sex and being motivated to have a lot of fun is also not nearly as default as suggested by society. Everyone likes sex, yes, the way everyone likes food. Doesn't mean everyone is putting in effort to make sure they get a nutritious, fresh meal every day, or cares a whole lot about what exactly they eat. Caring is hard to build, let alone fake, and that's where everything start.

>tl;dr most of being good at sex is natural talent/disposition

what's the difference between a date and a platonic hangout

asking because I've hung out with this girl 3 times one on one but nothing has really happened that would make it seem she is interested

>and as he is very careful he might just say I am good even if it's not true.
>careful
>lying

That's not careful, it's called lying. You don't have the open, comfortable trust that you need in your relationship to not feel insecure. You don't trust your boyfriend to be honest with you, and this causes you to feel insecure.

Improve your trust and communication.

For example, if my girlfriend asked me that, no matter what I tell her she'll know it's 100% true. She'll never feel insecure like you.

She's 23, same age as me.
I can't see her physically right now but I flirted back after she sent me that pic and she seemed flustered.She's 23, same age as me.
I can't see her physically right now but I flirted back after she sent me that pic and she seemed flustered.

When I was 14, my first girlfriend was 17. I remember being extremely nervous making out with her about 3 weeks into our relationship because I went for a tit grab. She rejected it after about 10 seconds. Two weeks later she showed me her pubes. She def got off on withholding. She had sex with her ex a few days after that and I broke up with her.
When I was 16, I started dating another 16 year old but I was still pretty disenchanted with the idea of teen love so I put forth zero effort and had zero expectations. She sucked my dick and would get naked and shit but I wasn’t really interested. Lasted about a month, never banged.
Did the same with approx 12-15 other girls from my school in my same grade.
When I was 18, I dated a girl for a year who said she was saving her virginity for her husband. We never banged but she gave me tons of handies since she loved doing it.
When I was 20, I met my future wife and we started dating. Realized how massively I fell in love and we banged on the 3rd date. 28 now, been married a year.

Three guys I've fallen for.

>be 15, sit next to a new guy
instantly find him "interesting" and friendly
>find an excuse to be around him more (involving him in a school play) maybe two months later
>feel ready to outright say I'm in love after about four months in total
>he got together with a friend (of both of us) so no real progression there, stopped liking him ~six months afterwards
I cannot recall a single tipping moment. It was just realizing I found him attractive and then over time endearing moments, getting a little closer.

>now almost 16
>guy 1 introduces me to friend of his, guy 2, also hoping to deflect some of my not that subtle enthusiasm about him
>also a classmate, again liked the look of him from the start
>start chatting, really adore him, talk about him all the time, think little of it because still in love with guy 1
>after four weeks or so of talking most every day after school we are hanging out with a third person who uses the bathroom, we were goofing around and he pins me down playfully, realize I feel attraction, really confuses me
>shortly after he asks me to be together, I panic because I still have feelings for his best friend, feel like an asshole, tell him it's not mutual
>he gets another girlfriend a few months after
Cue not being in touch much for a year or two, we did date for a while when we were both 21.

>now 24
>meet a guy at a party of a friend
>talk for ~two hours, have a great time
>catch myself thinking of things he said for days afterwards and wanting to talk to him more
>truly realize how much we had in common, how pleasant I thought he was, want to ask him out
>inform friend, she tells me he's in a relationship

As you can tell I don't fall in love a lot, I went to an almost all female university which doesn't help in that regard.

well it doesnt seem she is not interested either. give her some space and check if she contacts you.

What's the most important thing in a guy?

Thanks buddy. I will wait first, see if things improve. If not, then I will do fun stuff on my own to see how he reacts to that.

I just want cute gf to take care of and live togheter, cook togheter, go out to music concerts, have a dog, hold hands and cuddle with, and that my mother finally thinks i aint gay.

How do i go about this
Note im 6'2, i exercise and take care of myself, have own place and decent paying job and average looks.

I also dont go out whole lot and dont have friends outside of gymbros

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Guys, if I'm to admit my feelings to somebody, how desperate would it be to admit I'd gladly be with them if they weren't unavailable?

it would kill your relationship with them
he couldn't be friends with you because it wouldn't be fair to you
you better make damn sure you know he likes you before you do this

The only difference I can discern is that on a date you know it's a date.

A sense of humour.

Find a way to talk to women. Dating sites, hobbies, go to a gymbro party and hope someone brings chicks, etc.

ultimately? integrity
initially, competence