Are you really able to know, talk to, spent time with the "most important person in your life ever" yet refuse to date him?
It seems like such an oxymoron.
It makes 0 sense.
Is she taking an advantage of me? Feeding me lies to keep me around?
I have a question for the local femanon larpers
Levi Hall
Nicholas Murphy
>Is she taking an advantage of me? Feeding me lies to keep me around?
Yes and yes.
Parker Nelson
Femanon larper here.
Yeah, of course. Being important and romantic love don't go hand in hand. For many people the most important person is their parent/sibling or a best friend.
Parker Morgan
>tfw he rejected my advances
Chase Garcia
depends on her love style and/or maturity level. Younger women are more interested in dramatic love affairs than older ones.
youtube.com
youtube.com
Sebastian Flores
Yes but not really. She’s willfully ignoring the obvious fact that one of you will inevitably catch feelings. She already decided when you met that she didn’t find you attractive enough to fuck in the long term, so it was always going to be you who caught feelings. She isn’t surprised and wants the ego stroking and companionship, but she wants it the way she wants a female friend.
Aiden Martin
wow thanks for the long and intricate reply
But. For what purpose?
I get it that your previous family is the most important thing but when you get into a relationship shouldn't that person be the most important? And when you get kids shouldn't these be the most important?
I find it so strange her having a long term boyfriend yet putting me on the pedestal making me the most important thing ever. It sounds like such an obvious lie. Sure we go way back but come on. Maybe when we were 16 but now when we are both in late 20s it seems like such a bullshit thing. How can you plan a family how can you live with someone waking next to them every morning when they aren't the most important thing?
I'm 27. She is 25. It's not like we are teenagers any more. This shit doesn't make sense. I mean I feel like I have to settle down pretty soon and this isn't helping. Neither is stuff like "lol user, we will have kids together in the end anyway" or "where will we live?" or shit like that.
I just feel baited and being used like a toy. She knows I've had feelings toward her since highschool.
Seems awfully cruel.
Thanks I feel exactly the same way and I've felt like this for a long time. I just needed to hear it from someone else.
Julian Bennett
This is why most of us stay away from male friends, always gotta make drama.
Grayson Gomez
How am I making drama?
Isaiah Cox
>shouldn't that person be the most important
Ideally yes but it's not something you can control and sometimes your romantic partner, as great as they are just isn't your very, very best friend. When you mech in a sexual and romantic way, it tends to work out just fine.
For how long is she even together with her boyfriend?
Brandon Jackson
Two years? Give or take? I've never asked.
I've met her in highschool and we've spent every day together but then my graduation came I've told her how I've felt about her and she gave me the cold shoulder. Then a few years of on and off contact until one day she started ignoring me even in real life... Few years of that and now all of sudden she needs me back in her life sweet talks me all the time jokingly (I think) mentions having kids with me some day and living together. Even calls herself "my ex" even tho we've never dated or did anything physical.
I still have feelings for her but when I told her with the intention of cutting or limiting contact she told me and I quote "You can't do that. You can't leave! No!"
I really really feel like I'm being used. Kept on a short leash as a backup plan. But I still have very deep feelings towards her.
I fear I will reject someone new because of her and my dumb faith that maybe someday... Yet completely blocking her out of my life feels like such a childish thing to do...
Caleb Flores
She's not attracted to you. That's it. Stop trying to get her. Took me and frankly a lot of us years to get it. So I'm saving you the Time.
There is nothing here to rationalise or analyse, and there is no magical action to win her. She doesn't want you. End of story.
Carter Peterson
>Two years? Give or take?
So basically nothing.
>one day she started ignoring me even in real life...
Okay, she sounds immature as fuck.
>Even calls herself "my ex" even tho we've never dated or did anything physical.
Manipulative too, what a catch!
>"You can't do that. You can't leave! No!"
And selfish, just lovely.
And yeah it sounds sketchy at the very best, just not an issue about perceiving someone else as her most important person.
>my dumb faith that maybe someday...
Nah. Come on. Even if you could, she doesn't seem worth it. Blocking her out of your life is indeed childish but ya gotta step the fuck back and get out of the fantasy. Buddy-zone her.
Robert Wilson
Buddy what her?
Andrew Hill
Basically call her and treat her like a buddy.
Isaiah Martinez
But I don't want to be her friend. I want to spend as little time with her as possible without having to block her or some shit. Not that it would help, the amount of trouble she went through to contact me again after all these years was insane. Somehow she just got ahold of my work mobile phone number and...
She does sound a bit insane, doesn't she?
Jeremiah Davis
Hence "buddy" and not "friend". Eventually it'll water down and she'll become some chick you used to know.
>she just got ahold of my work mobile phone number
Was it on linkdin or something? Her dedication sounds ... interesting.
Colton White
She probably has enough awareness to know that you two would be bad for each other in a relationship. Doesn't matter what either of you feel. Some people are just straight up romantically incompatible. Doesn't mean you still can't be very close friends.
Nathan Ramirez
So essentially ghost her till she stops caring? Yeah that's probably the most viable thing.
Nah. I'm not very big on having any social media tied to my real name. She just called my previous work and somehow convinced them to give her my current job address and then called the company and got ahold of my work email (which I've ignored because I was unsure what to do) so she then called again and somehow got my work phone number.
Well then she straight up lies when she keeps telling me stuff like "These postcards you've sent me were the sweetest thing ever. Nobody not even my boyfriend ever did something so nice."
I don't want to be her close friend. I don't want to have a "exactly like a couple but no physical stuff" relationship. That's like the literal definition of cuckholdery for fuck sake. I'm too old for this shit. I feel like I have at least a little bit of value even if I hate myself. Either be with me or go away don't bait me like a little kid.
(If you are curious it was just two postcards one read "you really get on my nerves sometimes, but..." and the other "i really, really like you, but...". A very basic gesture I would say.)
Jackson Roberts
>Well then she straight up lies when she keeps telling me stuff like "These postcards you've sent me were the sweetest thing ever. Nobody not even my boyfriend ever did something so nice."
How is that a lie?
Juan Perez
I've meant we are romantically compatible...
Or maybe not. I don't know anything anymore.
Wyatt Perez
She is not sexually attracted to you.
Grayson Fisher
It's so depressing that women settle.
If and women say this shit, if taken at face value, it means they have decided to share their life, have babies, etc with someone that they dont love as much as a friend or parent.
Frankly it's just bizarre to men as they often love their so more than anyone other than a child.
Brayden Cox
I wouldn't call it settling. Just a different kind of love for different kinds of people.
>Frankly it's just bizarre to men as they often love their so more than anyone other than a child.
Not always but generally it's probably due social norms when it's considered too homo for men to have close friendships with other men, which halfs the pool.
James Mitchell
Yes, but marriages without friendship often end in failure
Chase Hughes
I dont know if it is different for men. Modern society has put men in a situation where only a so can be a true friend. They are not allowed to form strong bonds with other men or they risk being seen as gay or weak.
For many men, their wife really is their best friend and lover.
So for a woman to say "I love them differently" it seems completely alien. And it almost seems like cheating "what do you mean you love them just as much, but as a friend?"
John Rivera
I'd tell her that this behavior is not fair for anyone involved. That everyone deserves a good healthy relationship. That you need space until she wants to take the next step and to call you when she wants to give a romantic relationship a try.
Thomas Phillips
>They are not allowed to form strong bonds with other men or they risk being seen as gay or weak.
That's bullshit. You're literally just talking out of your own insecurity.
Bentley Gutierrez
She's just not sexually attracted to you, try being more dominant and assertive and maybe she will see you in a different light
Chase Hernandez
People can just be friends, m8. My female best friend is the most important person to me right now, I'm not attracted to her and I never will be. I'm a single guy and I don't have a crush at the moment, so this female friend is on the number one spot.
Jeremiah Wood
True.
Yes... The whole idea of bromance is completely alien to modern people...
Jesus I suggest you go out more.
I told her I can't be her best friend and that I hope one day I'll be able to take her out on a proper date but until then it's really really cruel to me and really really unfair to her boyfriend.
Next thing I know she messages me that I can't leave that she won't allow it and calls me crying about how bad of a person I am.
That's when I gave in and just agreed to everything she said.
The thing is I feel like I'm on the same level as both her ex and her current boyfriend. At least as far as appearance goes.
I really thing slowly ghosting her is the best way to go.
I work a lot so I can use that as an excuse for any personal meetings and I'm trying to keep my replies as vague as possible and limit them to once a day.
Owen Cook
What a leech. Dude you gotta move on. She is a 100% bitch.