How do I convert to Judaism?

The Jewish faith is not like christianity or Islam, they do not try to recruit people. It is a much more insular religion than anything.

You need to buy Sons of Abraham DLC

pretty stylish, like a tron fascinator

you watched sex in the city didn't you?

Find a sect that will accept you, not that hard in the US, then you can practice reading the Torah and once you're full certified Jew you can move on to a different sect if you want.

Is that a Jewish GoPro?

I'm a raging faggot, but no. Not even I have stooped that low. Why?

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>Looking for the purpose to life.
>wants to suck satans dick

lol because of the episode where the proper one tries to convert then she gets rejected and has to keep trying

I thought, this dude is reading right out of the sex in the city handbook, I'm not sure it works like that lol

>I'm a raging faggot

How present is the smell of feces during your escapades?

>Satan's dick
>"Satan" is literally a hebrew word

I bet you're going to tell this poor bastard to worship that crucified faggot who claimed he was god and got what was coming to him.

>200 gold for 100 prestige
>permanent -1 diplomacy
>nonstop tech regression events

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>much of their gold
>200 gold
you got jewed again

>How do I convert to Judaism?
You forsake God and start sacrificing children to Moloch. Why the fuck would you want to be an evil kike?

This. Plus you could have one of those tests done. As a Hispanic you might be surprised and pass it.

lol I don't even know where I picked up the idea that you might be turned away and need to come back. It might have ultimately come from there though I guess, via someone I knew.

dont be a faggot

this

irrelevant

not for long , you havent seen a cooked jew served in a community stew until the west gets nuked because of them

lol just as I suspected

On the flip side, at least it nullifies any loans you've taken from Jewish moneylenders. Didn't know about the tech regression events.

Irrelevant?

LOL

>you havent seen a cooked jew served in a community stew
nope, can't say i have

>lol
get fucked plebtard
un-greek scum

give it some t i m e

You aren't Jewish dingbat

thank God

For what? :)

you have to take a dildo up your ass
see Gavin Mcinness

Plato was Ashkenazi

lol...

>looking for answers. Looking for the purpose to life.
you join looking for political positions and/or movie deals, wtf is this "meaning" shit
you're doing it all wrong tell them you lost everyone in the holocaust and the records in a house fire and well you know the rest
what about are you not getting

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if you cant hold up a conversation you better post pics in here

I have heard from a rabbi that they shoot you down the first two times.

Just fucking lie, and pretend you had jewish ancestors and relatives who didn’t practice.
Eat Kosher, and go to local jewish Delis for meals, and purchase ftom local jewish businesses.
Donate some money to local jewish charities.

>Donate some money to local jewish charities.
never in a thousand years , fuck juden

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See now if this is you being "smart" well that's pretty funny actually.

>I'm being watched. Tracked. Screen shared.
lol beaners have to be the stupidest race on the planet. converting to judaism won't make the NSA disappear.

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this

chop your foreskin off and throw it in a vulcano

>tfw you need a couple of black Legos but Mordecai is wearing them all on his head

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Cut your dick off

spics are not allowed

neither are jews

Orthodox Jews won't let anybody convert, but other Jews will! And the Israeli government accepts those conversions, so you can get your Israeli citizenship.

You might try the Chabad Lubavitchers, they're proselytizing Orthodox and probably do accept converts.

You can't be a Jew. Only females can marry in.
It's a racist corrupt closed religion, not to be confused with Islam that is a racist corrupt open religion. Catholicism which is not a racist, but corrupt, open child asshole religion. Protestantism which is not racist, is corrupt, let's fuck everyone religion.
Why would you want to allign with God loving wankers

the only Orthodox are CHRISTIAN Orthodox lrt's make this clear , frum jews are of the devil's cloth, fuck their souls to hell

Get your own boat in order before shitting on others table cloth flag

You have to prove maternal lineage to actually become a jew. Without jew blood in your system they might let you "convert" but it's only so you can be their shabbat goy to flip light switches and stuff.

Why would you want to do that? Jesus is the answer. Check out some local churches. Like Roman Catholic ones

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Literally just lie you fucking spic. Say your a jew from your mums side and just say you want to reconnect with your faith, they gonna 23andme your ass?

We should all convert. Jewish relatives ot not. Waste their time trying to fugure out who is legit jew and who isnt. Muddy their waters.

get fucked, cursed birthling
I don't take advice from the destroyed ones

Does pic related give you super powers?
It looks like it gives you super powers

has a literal black cube on its forhead, the wages of jewry are death

Just say you're Jewish. Whites and Jews are far too cowardly to ever call your Mexican ass out. Take their identity from them. Make it meaningless.

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You just say "I'm a jew" 3 times.

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No role whatever in China japan Korea. Little role in Russia eastern Europe Germany where they were largely eliminated

Stinky brown fake ladino goyim, go bow to a wooden idol of the virgin mary like the Catholic church taught you

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you need 160+ Iq in order to get in. our Iq dropped because we mixed with goyim whores.

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Really though, in what matter are these orthodox jews employed? I've seen them everywhere in photos from the past and present. What do they even do?

you should go back to fucking dogs, like a jew

those lazy rats dont do shit. we pay them everything.
youtube.com/watch?v=uH6ih6aSbOM

you should pay your own funeral before the russians barbecue you , with no fucks given

>start showing up at synagogue
>call yourself a jew
>demand they incorporate pork sandwiches and Wagner in their services
>sue them for discrimination if they kvetch, homo wedding style
BECOME THE JEW

Putin is our little bitch you dumb faggot.

"AT PUTIN'S SIDE, AN ARMY OF JEWISH BILLIONAIRES"
jpost.com/Jewish-World/Jewish-Features/At-Putins-side-an-army-of-Jewish-billionaires

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you think a picture of putin meeting with jews is a proof of something , what are you, a mizrahi ?
you will eat your cooked mother and say thank you to your god, satan

>putting the cube of Saturn over your 3rd eye

good luck

To bad its all a lie, fuck off, Jow Forums is smarter than that.

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OP here. If my boyfriend is a Jew does that mean he's my golden ticket? I'm gay.

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>1pbtid

Sage

I also added an article you dumb shitskin sub human trash who pretend to be european.

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how about you complain some more, you stupid jew nigger

well depending on the rabi school it can be different, but yes conversion is possible. If he decides to live according to the jewish law, his grandchildren could be considered jews. There is a ton of extra and additional rules to it, and not just of the "your rich skip 2 generations" thing. A lot depends what nationality you are, which Kachal is deciding if you are ok to start the road for your family to be jewish etc. Ah and lets skip US for this, US jews have as much in common with being jewish as whores have donkeys.

What do they keep in those boxes?

a golden coin

compleetely deluded

foreskins?

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Historically the European Jewery has worked skilled labor/work requiring education due to the fact they were effectively barred from holding most professions or owning land. Due to their migrant nature a lot of technology was spread by the Jews.

The Europeans unknowingly ran a impromptu eugenics program to breed good traders/accountants/doctors/lawyers.

It's not good, not bad, it just is.

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you probably tried to sign up at an orthodox place.
try becoming ashkenazi or sephardic.
i know a person who is not ethnically jewish but converted

holy text. mostly tora. some put, but that is a minority, text from great rabis.

stop eating cheese, ger circumcised and start blurting about white man

Maybe in the west. In the east, specially in Poland and Russia they had a ton of land as a race group.
Add to this the fact that most people in eastern europe were slaves up until second part of XIX century they really had it good

You need to give them a child to abuse:

"The rabbis explained that if I really wanted to become a Jew, I must transfer my older daughter to an Orthodox kindergarten. I did not object. I loved the idea that she would grow up with Jewish values, but when I explained to her that next year she would have to switch to a different kindergarten rather than continue in school with her friends, she began to cry.

She was four years old and I could not find a way to console her. How could I explain that this was part of the conversion process? That in order to become Jewish I must cut her off from all of her friends.

I returned to the rabbinical court with a request: "One year. Give us just one more year with the current kindergarten."
ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4558939,00.html

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I’m dead

Are Jewish people the whores or donkeys in your analogy?

Stfu dumbass and stop protectin Putin. I don't know why the fuck you eurotards think that he is BASED AND CHRISTIAN AF. He doesn't give a shit about slavs, he's friends with churkas and only THAT tells enough about him.

So I looked into that myself, the best advice I can give is to be taken seriously as a convert you need to go full blown orthodox and put in +2 years of community presence. If you're going for acceptance and community I'd suggest the LDS (previously known as the Mormons) or a very conservative Catholic church. For all the shit the LDS get in my experience they were good people. Even from my secular "cultural christian" viewpoint the Book of Mormon isn't a bad read if you just take it in like you're reading The Odyssey or Norse mythology. The vast majority of western religions are just a collection of wisdom on how to run a society while avoiding what happened in the past. It's interesting to note that most Abrahamic religions were spawned during the decline of empires

"The Jews" still remember the Spanish Inquisition so they often view converts as infiltrators

t. white dude with Jewish blood on my mom's paternal side.

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>How do I convert to Judaism?
Kill yourself and hope you are reincarnated to a jewish mother.

>1 post by this id
>google images file name

You're entirely correct in this. Western European Jews were usually of a much higher social class than Eastern European Jews.

It's actually very interesting to view the lead up to WW2 as a schism between the jews based on social class. The upper class wanted extreme capitalism or communism, while the lower classes wanted to take advantage of things like the Madagascar Plan