When you're dating a chick, should you always ask her how many dudes she has slept with? And if so, what lay count should i consider off-limits and reason enough to stop dating her?
As far as 'off-limits' goes, i'm talking about when you're looking for a long-term girlfriend or possibly even wife material.
I think if you unironically ask someone that, they will 100% not date you because you sound like a fedora tipper
Don't ask. You can tell by her behavior and mannerisms if she's a ho, and that's enough.
umm I dont. First off it's stupid to even think about that since you probably wont get laid even asking that question.
2nd if it matters so much to you about their lay count then go for a religious girl.
3rd, how much they had sex doesnt mean they are less of a person. The only off limits is if a guy asks "what's your lay count?" that dude is a red flag.
There is no good way of asking
However it is quite relevant
Studies suggest people with more sexual partners are more likely to break up marriage or relationships
Check the literature out for yourself
Also never awnser when a girl asks you the same question
Also this
Impulsive behavior with high risk high 'social' reward and prioritising short term goals/investments over long term
yeah that's doesnt mean the individual is likely to do it, that's just a blind test of people as a whole. Believe me you even being bothered by it at all is enough for people to leave you.
why, i always ask them sooner or later, but that's because i like sexual subjects and intimate questions like this bring people closer.
so if you wish to ask in order to separate yourself from her, i see little point in that.
you are super insecure here and this likely brings about very much unwanted behaviours and issues, while the fact alone that a girl wants to share a bed with you should suffice for you to acknowledge your sufficient worthiness (in her eyes, that is)
so my advice is, go straight for unachievable-pure-virgin inceldom.
or get real.
>yeah that's doesnt mean the individual is likely to do it, that's just a blind test of people as a whole
Yes it is just a percentage that has no meaning within specific and individual situations
>Believe me you even being bothered by it at all is enough for people to leave you
True
Being bothered by it will result in contempt and thats no good combo with intimicy or love
This type of data is only usefull within the period of selection or approval
Where you find or confirm a potential partner for the value of their intimicy, the knowledge they can offer
A calculation of the quality of the potential relationship and duration
do you not realize that this data and you reciting facts is a legit way to make you even more unattractive to women? Data or no, no one likes to hear this shit from you but other lonely dudes.
Everyone has seen those meme graphs. The truth is that a relationship not lasting is far far more likely when a girl is a virgin instead of not.
>Believe me you even being bothered by it at all is enough for people to leave you.
Am i being completely unreasonable for not wanting to marry a girl who's been pumped and dumped by one chad after the other?
yes, mainly because you have this image of the girl before she met you. No one is perfect especially you. Let's say there is a study that says the lack of partners a man has means he more likely to leave or divorce a female spouse. Now take that hyperbole and put that on you who hasnt had sex and women will ask how many partners you have. you say none and they just move on. How would feel being reduced to a number instead of being looked at as an individual?
Not to say women dont do something similar but reducing women to a statistic is insulting and pretty much says you arent ready for a relationship since you have no idea how a woman's mind and feelings work.
>Data or no, no one likes to hear this shit from you but other lonely dudes
I never talked about talking about this with women
>do you not realize that this data and you reciting facts is a legit way to make you even more unattractive to women?
Yes, if you let it it will create contempt for all women in a way that every possibility for intimicy is countered with a subtle feeling of disrespect
>Everyone has seen those meme graphs
Not talking about the meme grahps, im talking about the actual research and data written on the topic of intimicy, sex and the quality and quantity
>The truth is that a relationship not lasting is far far more likely when a girl is a virgin instead of not
A girl being a virgin requires 'training' to be succesfull in giving and recieving lust in a way that makes a great experience
This proces is not all fun since the time of 'training' doesnt garuanty a great experience since the tools for it are not yet in possesion
>Now take that hyperbole and put that on you who hasnt had sex and women will ask how many partners you have. you say none and they just move on.
Ok to be clear i'm not a virgin. To give you guys some perspective i'm 21 and i've personally slept with 3 girls.
But a couple of weeks ago i met this girl and we started dating. We were talking about each others sexual past. I told her i had 1 LTR of 2,5 years and 2 short term flings so nothing too crazy. She never told me what her lay count is and i didn't have the guts to ask directly but she is 25 and she did tell me she has only ever had short term flings... She basically told me guys have only used her as a cum dumpster so far and none of these encounters have resulted in any kind of commitment.
>Yes, if you let it it will create contempt for all women in a way that every possibility for intimicy is countered with a subtle feeling of disrespect
none the less you are thinking this and you dont realize that it's coming out in ways you dont realize. Stop trying to analyze people as numbers. You will find logic has no place in romance.
sounds like you would be the next person who she would described "being used like a cum dumpster" if you keep this mentality going. She said that because she felt used and unloved, do you really want to be that guy who is another notch in her bed post that didnt go any where or will you actually stick around and show her how much of a valued person she is? It's on you dude, but never forget that these women arent just numbers, and this girl deserves to be loved no matter how many guys she fucked.
Take advice from Horton hears a whore.
A person is a person no matter how small your dick is.
You're either a fucking gay faggot white knight or a self justifying whore
Either or stop defending sluts who made the decision to fuck around with alot of dudes themselves instead of looking for a legitimate partner
Sluts are their own worst enemy
>none the less you are thinking this and you dont realize that it's coming out in ways you dont realize
Yes this is something I know I have to work to become friends with women and from there maybe a gf
>Stop trying to analyze people as numbers
Analyzing people is my only tool since I lack a certain type of instincts
Therefore analyzing and creating logic from my surroundings and data allows me to create a 'instinct' for my behaviour
>You will find logic has no place in romance
Dunno if you're right
My experiences say you are
However I've only had three with a duration of half a year, one year and two years
My dilemma is that analyzing has been the tool that created me and allowed me to live a stable life
The lack of intimicy, lust and my desire for both I cannot fix with my current tools
I know that and I'm working on it in ways that I know are slow more comfortable for me
Maybe this is my passion for my desire
Maybe I don't know shit
>Analyzing people is my only tool since I lack a certain type of instincts
>Therefore analyzing and creating logic from my surroundings and data allows me to create a 'instinct' for my behaviour
Stop using this then. You do have more tools at your disposal you just found them obsolete.
I find it hard to believe you had any form of a relationship the way you are right now, but I got no choice but to believe you.
All I can say is slowly wean yourself out of data and listen to illogical reasoning. It's not about being correct it's just about feeling stuff and making a connection through that.
Maaaan this day n age with the access woman have, I wouldn't even ask because you probably won't like what they say if they answer honestly (doubt) lol as long as that pussy looks and feels fresh I don't really care but thats just me ignorance is bliss bro ignorance is bliss.
You are literal shit.
What's important is how she treats you. Don't have sex upfront for at least a few months, spend time getting to really know her and who she is. If she takes the time to make food or make you art or spends time with you, then she's looking for a long-term relationship. If she's a ho, she'll quickly bore of you, do something silly to discharge her guilt, and move on. The other thing you can discuss on dates is whether you are both looking for something long-term, looking for kids, et-cetera. This frames the relationship and if she isn't trying to be mature then you'll catch on.
>as long as that pussy looks and feels fresh I don't really care
It's not the pussy i'm concerned about. It don't buy this whole stretched out roastie pussy meme.
It's the mental and emotional consequences hookup culture has on women. I don't want to become some chump boyfriend to a girl who has been ravaged by random chads for years.
>Take advice from Horton hears a whore.
>A person is a person no matter how small your dick is.
I'm just letting you know, I'm stealing this line to give advice in the future.
yeah I just thought of it.
>Stop using this then. You do have more tools at your disposal you just found them obsolete.
Sound about right
Yet again dunno if you are
I will try it though, but only because it sounds good
>I find it hard to believe you had any form of a relationship the way you are right now, but I got no choice but to believe you.
Yeah I have the same
I think because besides the way of thinking i described I am passionate, loving and caring
>All I can say is slowly wean yourself out of data and listen to illogical reasoning. It's not about being correct it's just about feeling stuff and making a connection through that.
I can see what you're saying
Instead of thinking be present, interact and connect
I've been improving in this
It's easy with the people I already know
With new people it's harder but I've experienced that I can
Just not yet in a way that satisfies me
you need to stop worrying about how your ego is being perceived and let people relax and not feel like they are being judged.
wow, thats well written and insightfull
thank you
Anything over 10 and i'm being really generous here.
I lost my virginity after my bf. Chances are knowing that nobody cum in me before gave him extra motivation to date me. I don’t think there’s something I can do, I pretty much used to it.
Don't ask her, she'll have a chance of lying. Try to find out through her friends. Obviously you can't ask the question directly though
What if she used to be a big slut, and then changed her behavior just so she could score a nice guy who has a low count?
I know a girl who doing that exact thing. She slept around A LOT in uni. A whole lot. But over the past year, she stopped having sex, and started to dress modest. She told me that she’s trying to find a nice guy who focused on building himself instead of sleeping around. She said she’s going to wait to have sex for 6 months in the relationship to see if he is like that.
So what I’m saying is, this girl was a huge huge slut. But she changed so she can find a nice guy who didn’t do degenerate things. So in the end, she wins and the guy loses
Nah senpai. They both win if they end up actually happy together. Have some heart and believe in the (albeit small) chance of people genuinely changing over time, as they mature.
How do they both win? This girl went out, whored around. As she said “made a lot of memories”. But now, she wants to date a guy who did the exact opposite of her. For her own gain. She has tons of memories of her getting fucked to last her a lifetime, and she wants a partner who has a low count. Probably because he won’t have as many memories.
That is messed up.
You are projecting. She did some things, that now, looking back, don't bring any pleasure or joy. They remain as memories of a dumb period of life. Have you never done dumb shit as a young man that sounded cool in the heat of a moment, but as you aged it looks kinda mundane or not so exciting?
She want a nice partner, with not much of a body count, for the same reason some men do - illusion of a better chance for a long term relationship. Chances are she wishes to repress the memories and trully start anew. Give another human the benefit of a doubt.
I agree it is messed up its this type of shit that pops into my head when i hear about women being stoned to death in arab countries or getting their clits cut off
Is she at least going to be honest with the guy about her past or is she going to hide it?
>she did things now that looking back don’t bring joy
Then why would she say she made good memories?
No. It’s bs. She was an adult and made her choices. Would you date a woman if you found out when she was 18 she murdered her best friend by drowning her and spent 6 years in prison? Would you just think “oh it’s ok, she was just a dumb young girl back then”?
All I’m saying, whores should stick with whores. If a girl wants to be a whore when she’s younger, then she should expect to date and marry a whore
I don’t know, but i’d imagine she isn’t going to talk about it. She says she is a nice girl and acts and looks like one. If you met her you wouldn’t ever think she’s a whore. The only reason I know this is because I’ve known her a long time
>She did some things, that now, looking back, don't bring any pleasure or joy
I think you're being VERY optimistic here. The thing that doesn't bring her any pleasure or joy is the piling emotional damage as a result of constantly getting pumped and dumped. Also the fact that women have a limited fertility window comes into play. I bet your ass the sex itself she used to have in college/uni is the best sex she ever had and ever will have.
The awesome sex women experience with college chads and pua's IS the reason they go through this slut period in the first place. It's like being a heroin addict. The moment you indulge, it feels great. But you know it will fuck you up sooner or later. That's why women eventually get off of the cock carousel and 'settle down'.
...But once you know how heroin feels like, the desire to take another hit will stay locked up in your brain forever.
I bet underneath it all tho her puss looks like a fucking broken doner kebab
I have no idea, but she does exercise a lot, so maybe it’s in good shape desu
>I don't want to become some chump boyfriend to a girl who has been ravaged by random chads for years.
Every time this dumbass thread comes up and every time a brainlet like you types this and doesn't realise how insecure it makes you sound that you're too beta to hold down a woman. If you want a LTR, have an LTR, if you want a fling have a fling. You sound like a closet homosexual obsessing about "Chad". Just live your life.
>vehemently attacking an anonymous at a Vietnamese basket weaving forum for not sharing your ideas
>he is the insecure one
No that’s bs. People’s past choices says a lot about them. Regardless if they changed or not. So, that girl who was wrecked by chads for years. Maybe she isn’t a cheater. Maybe she has never cheated and never will cheat on future boyfriends. But she still allowed her body to her destroyed by random guys just for the sake of having a dick in her. She decided to accept the risks involved just for an hour of fun. Repeat that for years and years. All that does is go to show that she does not have good risk management and decision making skills. There is nothing attractive about this
Don’t be so melodramatic. It’s okay to be jealous that she fucked other people but come on, you act like she gambled her life every time she had sex. And I’m not trying to be insulting but you sound like a virgin, trying to downplay sex as something risky and nothing slecial
There is nothing attractive about an entitled angry whiner who thinks sex is bad.
Bodies don't get destroyed by dick; babies come out of there.
>you sound like a virgin, trying to downplay sex as something risky and nothing special
What a joke dude. Whores can’t say sex is special. They have sex with people they don’t even really know. And they accept the risks that come with that. I’m not a virgin. But I’ve only had sex within relationships by my own choice. Have I had urges to have casual sex? Absolutely. Do I have the opportunity? Yes. Infact I know two girls right now who are interested in me. But guess what? Have I done it? No. Why? Because I look at my choices and weigh the consequences to my actions. I know that with casual sex there is a risk of STDs and pregnancy (condoms don’t protect from all STDs). My decision was although I badly want to bang these girls, that I am not willing to accept the risk involved. A few hours worth of sex is absolutely not worth getting a diseased dick or knocking up some girl I’m not in a relationship with. I think sex is special, and sex should be only for relationships.
I didn’t say sex is bad. I said casual sex is bad.
are you 12? lol
you won't be having any either way
There is a minority that says they made good memories. Most people just move on toa new page in their life
>the whole murder and prison thing
Yes, I still would if I knew she really regreted it. I am open to give that girl a chance if I otherwise like her as a person.
And I bet sex with a stable partner with a good emotional connection is even better.
>heroin
And once you get out of rehab you will not look fondly of that period of your life. You will probably get therapy for a while after and move on to better your life.
But yes, I am a rather optimistic guy.
Maybe there's a reason she's only used as a cumrag
This. You'll go to dump city faster than you can say "incel".
>if she has a high number she'll lie
>if she has a low number she'll just feel insulted
What did op hope to accomplish? just kys, you're too dumb to breed.
>Asking girls about their lay count
And in precisely what way is it any of your business?
If girls have that attitude its a red flag and a fucking turn off
girls with that attitude don't want to fuck you to begin with, so it's best if you expose yourself early.
Because i don't want a girlfriend who's had miles of random cock in their pussy.
I'm fully aware of partner count correlating with lower success in marriage. I don't care because I'm a KHV at 21. If a guy asks me how many people I've slept with in my lifetime I'd still be offput because the men who pay attention to said statistics tend to be redpoll PUAs and incels. It comes off as possessive and dehumanizing.
Statistics mean nothing to the individual anyways. When you're in a relationship you take a leap of faith and a risk. That's life. That's living. Learn to trust your assessment of a potential partner and not a bunch of graphs and tables.
If you're dating her, at some point before or even after sex, she's going to ask you how many partners you've had. This is your only time to ask in return.
If you straight up ask randomly, it's weird.
>why are your potential partners previous relationship experiences any concern of yours
Whore apologists are retards, more at 11
i always ask them sooner or later, but that's because i like sexual subjects and intimate questions like this bring people closer.
Same
So... there is nothing wrong with a woman asking you about your lay count, but if you're a guy asking it to a woman you're immediately labeled incel/neckbeard/weird etc.?
>women are are insecure and have double standards for men
Why are you suprised?
>3rd, how much they had sex doesnt mean they are less of a person. The only off limits is if a guy asks "what's your lay count?" that dude is a red flag.
cuck