Anxiety Disorder Q/A

Basically you must try to talk to friends to levitate this form of stress. There is no way to avoid it I am afriad but you should embrace it and let it make you stronger. To where when you see others go through what you went through you can help easy the pain.

The whole point about it being a disorder is that a person's anxiety response is overactive, i.e., not function right, i.e., in disorder. Anxiety itself isn't a disorder, but anxiety disorders do definitely exist

I get terrible anxiety when I have to wait outside my college classrooms with other students before the teachers show up. It's a pretty small cohort and the few people I can talk to aren't always around, so I'm cursed to awkwardly find a bit of wall to learn against on my phone beforehand. I'm really not interested in making friends with 90% of the people in this group but I get so anxious about having to stand around looking weird and friendless. Any way to alleviate this?

What you just described was a symptom of a disorder. The thing is not every symptom leads to a disorder, a symptom is just a symptom of a certain circumstance. If the circumstance is something Beyond physical control and is mental instability constantly in flux then it is a disorder.

What you were going through is simply normal for everybody, no one is expecting you to be their friend, and those people have seen you hanging out or being friendly with a specific group of people. The fear you have is just simply standing out when you have no one to talk to you in a group, that is Simply Having safety and numbers. The anxiety you feel is normal especially when you want to be left alone when your friends aren't around. What you don't realize is that you are already doing something that can take away that anxiety. You looking at your phone is a sure-fire way to say nonverbally that you are busy and don't wish to be bothered. It's like standing and having your arms crossed, when standing and having your arms crossed that shows that you are not open for discussion you are protecting yourself. So to alleviate this stress just realize that people already know that you don't want to be talked to. They are very well aware that you do not want to be talked to.

I'm an autistic loser with no friends, no hobbies, no generally interesting or redeeming qualities, and abysmal social skills.

And despite being 28 I've never really felt like an adult because I've spent my entire life in education and working odd jobs; and because of that lack of financial stability and independence it's affected my personal life: eg. I need braces and never smile because I couldn't afford them.
As I get ever closer to 30 I feel a sense of looming dread for not having my shit together; I've got a crappy soul-destroying job that pays a mediocre wage and presents no advancement opportunities (no savings either, no house, no car, no 401K, nothing), what existed of my looks are going further and further down the toilet (as I've begun to bald, develop wrinkles, and have black eyebags that make me cosntantly look like I've been punched in the face), and most worryingly of all- I'm still a virgin with no relationship experience, and the older I get the more creepy that makes me.
I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing in life, this year is flying by scarily fast, and I'm terrified of making another career mistake and wasting even more of my life- which is undermining my need to get the fuck out of this situation.

Attached: DsaWfnLVsAAK6cU.jpg orig.jpg (600x600, 38K)

That's basically it. You get so incredibly worked up over things that, rationally, are insignificant. You can work yourself to the point where you know that you're overreacting, but you're spinning and it's next to impossible to pull yourself out of it. You can work out of it, and you can manage it, but it takes a ton of time and effort to get to a point where it doesn't negatively impact your daily life. Even then, it's a very easy trap to fall back into. You'll be feeling great for a week, month, several months, and then you make one minor faux pas and you dwell on it for ages and ages, and by the end you're back in your room not seeing the sunlight for a week

Now this is an issue that I know all too well.
First you arent alone when it comes to being a virgin at your age. In fact too many men and women are facing this crisis due to locking themselves up and self indulging in various thing.
I am stuck at an odd job I hate for 5 years now, and I still have yet to pull my self out.
However you and I both know what needs to be done to get out of this rut and it is tough.... look for a new better job. Something you and I tolerate that has higher wages. Next taking care of your image. Instead of buying the next system or blue ray box set, buy some new clothes and get a hair cut.
Then last thing is the most dreaded thing of all, your social retardation.
NOW there is something called Meetup.com There you can find people who have intrests as you do that are outside. Dont have one? Choose something that seems interesting. summer is coming water polo is a good game.
Next lets say you get into an outdoor activity filled with people, ypu still have to engage people. Best way to start is to wait for people to talk to you, smile slightly and be friendly. If people arent talking to you, THATS OK, you are out there and soon they will talk to you. If you want to be more direct, ask the person that looks interesting the most to you and ask hey i am user Im kind of new here whats your name. Trust me at our age people dont act like they did in highschool.
The first step is with you user.
Take today as just today, dont look into what should have been, your present is an ever changing wave of opportunity. You dont have to grab it until you are good and ready.

but, you know how to get out of your cave now. One misstep doesnt mean its you give up, just means you might want to move on to something elsez try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

Those one is almost 1:1 for my life except I picked up airsoft as an hobby 5 years ago and I've had sex twice.
The airsofting was a really good choice since it already fits my autism I made some friends there who I travel with to a big airsoft event once a year so I get out and I actually have something to talk about when people ask what I did during vacation and it isn't staying at home playing games.

see, life is rewarding when you go out and get it

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

As much as I'm not alone being a virgin, 98.6% of people my age aren't (according to the WHF) and it's hard to not feel like a fuckup when most of that remaining 1.4% probably have fundamentalist religious reasons or severe mental health problems.
Anyway with regards to the job thing, I studied myself into a corner and it took me years to find this shitty job I have now. No other company wants me, and I can't really improve my prospects without retraining which is extremely hard to do even if I were 5 years younger.
What I am doing is paying attention to my appearance now though; I'm on Minoxidil, I've started going to the gym, I'm getting beauty treatments, I get my hair done at a proper hairdresser, etc; but it's not stymieing the aging, only slowing it down. Will also get new clothes when I have some more cash, but I'm kind of gangly and oddly proportioned so I think I'm going to be ugly and weird looking no matter what I do.

Meetup sounds like a good idea, but I find engaging people is really hard. I think I need to read a wide variety of non-fiction books and follow the news more, because I can't carry a conversation for shit, let alone engage people.

Its good that you found something you enjoy.
I spoke to a therapist previously because I can't even enjoy video games any more, which felt like clinical depression but our visits never went anywhere.

Man I need a hobby. A productive, constructive, social hobby that gets me interacting with women as well as men.
Pottery?

dont worry so much on not having things to talk about and stay away from POLITICS big nono.
Just talk about whats going on around you. Like wow look how many people are here, or some shit. Just talk at your convenience, you dont need to over prepare for just talking to people.

And having difficulty realizing this is why it's a disorder. It sounds simple to think this and implement it, but there are always contingencies to consider.
>I feel shitty, and what if people don't like that?
>Am I making them feel shitty just because I had a bad day?
>I'm a burden on them, aren't I?
>They have a bad day and carry on, but for me it's a hole that I need many days to dig out of; surely that's an annoyance, isn't it?
>No wonder nobody wants to spend time with me!
So on and so forth. Every misstep carries implications and difficulties that you need to work through

because its not a disorder. Thats something that you listed is what everone goes through. Its called Self Doubt, its called worrying about what others think. That isnt a disorder because that is completly normal thinking and in the end the real disorder isnt Anxiety its your Depression thats the issue. Anxiety is just a symptom se all have when comes to doubt. Anxiety is a natural thing by it self.

Anxiety and worry are normal, but what's not normal is for it to be debilitating. Like an acquaintance not noticing you as they pass by, then you think yourself to the point where you're literally worthless to everyone you've ever known, and you spend 3 weeks in a funk because of it

thats not anxiety thats being obsessive

Like the assumed thing when you have a disorder isn't that the person just didn't see you. It's that they're purposefully ignoring you because they hate your guts because you're fundamentally terrible as a being and you deserve their disgust because things A, B, and C happened at some point in the past

Obsessive as applied to an anxiety response

then that's paranoia
Anxiety is simply a reaction at that point if it bothers you

But anxiety isnt the disorder here its your obsession that takes it too far.

infact they call it obsessive compulsive disorder

Then perhaps I've got that too, but it builds on an anxious response.

then go to therapy to be sure.

I booked my first appointment yesterday. That's why this thread caught my attention

Definitely see a therapist. I have ocd and it makes your life a living hell if you let it. I’m sure you constantly check for ocd relief videos and ways to stop it. You can’t on your own. See a therapist and overtime you definitely will feel better. It worked for me it can work for you.

I definitely will. I've suspected myself of having OCD for some time now, and I believe it's at the root of my recent failure to launch a relationship with a really sweet girl. That shit stings. She's gone, but I'm taking the hint that I'm not mentally healthy and going to see a professional about it

be there for her, accept that this type of thing is hard for everyone (similar situation here) and embrace life and your friends/family for genuine comfort. DO NOT escape with drugs, and let things fall apart