How does one get over fear of romantic rejection?
How does one get over fear of romantic rejection?
Always think of several people as potential partners. Do not, I reapeat, DO NOT think highly of someone until after you start dating. Do not put anyone on a pedestal, do not overthink about someone. At all costs avoid thinking you are "in love" with someone until after you start dating.
Also always remember that even if you have a crush on someone and they reject you, you will stop being attracted to them after a while, like maybe months or so. That means nobody is special or important.
Also remember that if someone rejects you it just means you are not compatible, do not take it personally. It's possible that the person isn't really special or fun or interesting, it's just a bunch of bad chemicals and mental gymnastics in your brain telling you otherwise.
Always have one or two extra people in mind. So that if you ask someone out and they reject you, you can still think "oh well at least I can ask that other one now, it's not the end of the world". And so on.
Some user/s told me this is unethical but they can get fucked.
OP I will quote some advice I read here on Jow Forums:
To summarize men and women:
Power is to a man what beauty is to a woman.
Resources are to a man what interaction is to a woman.
Wealth is to a man what sex is to a woman.
Both genders will exploit the other when they have the upper hand.
In general, young women will exploit young men for their resources (i.e. attention) and what little wealth they have because they get a high off of male resources.
And in general, older men will exploit older women for their interaction (i.e. dating) and for the easy sex they can offer because they get a high of female interaction.
Trust me, with women: what goes around comes around. They eventually all age out, and you ignore them. It'll be a while so it won't be a "revenge ignore". It'll be a "I genuinely don't even feel attracted to this chick so I'll forget her" type of ignore--and that ends up hurting them the most.
Work on your career, jack off, build wealth. Find a wife, have a family, and maybe get a mistress on the side some day.
You have no idea how good it gets as an older man--*if* you build wealth.
Realize if you think someone's on the fence about you they might respond if you're a little more direct. To minimize the chance of rejection just try to look for any signs they might be. If none exist you could try to hint yourself. If the person doesn't respond then you can try talking. At this point however you risk rejection so the closer you get the harder it becomes.
I've never even been on a date. So i've never had time to attach myself to a girl as more than just a simple crush. I am too scared of rejection to ask girls out
I dont get any signs of interest from girls which makes my fear even worse
What scares you about rejection? It's just as simple as a girl telling you she's busy when you ask her out. You just reply some bs like "oh okay maybe some other time", and peace the fuck out
Fear cannot actually hurt you. It’s uncomfortable but you will survive even if you feel like shit for being rejected.
Ultimately after a few rejections you’ll get over it. Rejection is a part of life and it’s really not that hard to deal with. It’s just the person communicating their interest. It says nothing about you really.
I don't know I just can't do it. So many things could go wrong if i try and ask a girl out
Then ask someone you trust why that may be. Both genders see appearance first. They'll observe you to see how you 'do things' and if they think you're smooth they might display interest. Women preen and men will try to display confidence. Be careful how you read these though, some actions are instinctual and unless they're followed up by other things like a lot of eye contact you can't be sure they're available.
If by your early 20s you didn't get even a single girl interested you have to ask someone for their opinion. Looks matter but so does personality and experience.
If woman will be with me just because of material possesions she can straight go to fuck off. I mean yea no one would want to marry broke man but if wealth determine if my dick will go into vagina then i would rather not live or interact with women. Which i am not doing and will end it soon. Living life on this planet full of retards is last straw. God with his goons need to fuck off and leave me alone in the void for all eternity.
What things could go wrong? Are you maybe afraid of her saying Yes?
Nothing can go wrong, or at least nothing that can truly affect your current life. Like I said, rejection is as simple as a girl saying she's busy and can't go on the date.
Even if she's a dumbfuck that goes telling all her friends that you asked her out, it's not a big deal, you are still the mature one for actually going and asking her out.
What step along the way can’t you do? And what happens when if it does go wrong? What happens if it goes right?
I think all relationships exist because of an interest on something the other person has to offer. I don't think being attracted to someone for their money is any less fair than being attracted for their looks. And it's not like you can have sex with *a personality* anyway.
I would be glad if woman dated me and married me for my looks. Nothing wrong with being shallow.
What if I don't seek out conventional beauty or interaction in a woman? What if I prefer a homely semiautistic gf that will indulge in neckbeard hobbies with me?
While I find this to be true, the offered "good" might be something just as insignificant as politeness, don't you think? Nobody dates a spiteful bum off the street, but meek teenage boys do get dates once in a while.
My friends say there's nothing wrong with me and I should be able to get a date easily.
It's just embarrassing. If I get rejected she'll probably know and realize that I'm a kissless virgin and then my secret will be out. Also if she says yes, i dont actually know how to kiss or act on a date or anything
I dont know what words to say, i dont know how to say them. I dont know in what context to ask a girl, like I'm never alone with girls that I like, and I dont know if its acceptable to ask over facebook. I dont know how well I have to know a girl before i can ask her
People engage with others for different reasons but in the end there's a reason. Maybe both share similar beliefs and interests, both complement each other, etc. Speaking in terms of evolutionary biology people look for the better if not best candidates, the only reason you would see otherwise is because a person might have had bad experiences with certain types of people so they decide to do things differently, they go against what is expected. Everyone wants quality, even you.
You should care less about what other people think. Maybe she already thinks you are a kissless virgin, but what's the big deal? A lot of people will think bad of you even when you are good. You could be a very nice person and someone could still think you are an asshole. It shouldn't matter to you. Besides maybe you don't even see that girl ever again but even if you do you shouldn't worry, life is too short to worry about what people think of you in these situations.
Your "secret" won't be out because people can think whatever about you regardless. Also a lot of weird people get girlfriends. If she thinks less of you she's an ass but even bad people get away with it in life because life is not fair.
And if you DO get to go on a date it will be experience that helps you grow up. And just make a bunch of threads here asking your questions on how to date.
>Idont know what words to say, i dont know how to say them. I dont know in what context to ask a girl, like I'm never alone with girls that I like, and I dont know if its acceptable to ask over facebook. I dont know how well I have to know a girl before i can ask her
If you are hanging out and she laughs and either you or her has to go, ask her out I guess. You can ask her out whenever you want, however way you want, the only person judging you will be her and why is her judgement important? She is no kind of authority over you, she's just another pitiful mortal in the world.
You can ask her on facebook if you want, I mean I assume a lot of people do that. In person is probably better though.
Oh by the way, if she rejects you don't think too much about it and if she says something ambiguous like "im busy" or "ill text you later" it means no, so you should instantly forget about her.
Judging from those responses you're insecure or lack confidence to talk to women. I dont know what you might look like have women ever showed interest, at all? How old are you or give me a range.
be sure that you interacted her if u dont even know eachother then dont ask for a date otherwise it could be creepy think like that why she date with someone that she even knows about him and approach her like small talk and spontaneously be sure youre talking eith her relaxed in cool way dont be nervous give positive aura
who told you that's unethical? sounds like great advice to me
>I dont know what words to say,
Would you like to go out for x sometime?
>i dont know how to say them.
In English. Not sure how else you want to say them, unless you’re not sure how to say words you can generally say those words out loud.
>I dont know in what context to ask a girl, like I'm never alone with girls that I like, and I dont know if its acceptable to ask over facebook.
No it is not acceptable to ask a random stranger over Facebook if they wanna go out. Facebook is not a dating site. Generally go into it from their perspective, and if you ask in the wrong setting then you simply learn from that.
>I dont know how well I have to know a girl before i can ask her
That’s up to the individual. Some people are comfortable being approached at a bar and some people only wanna date through their friends.
These are all things you find out through trial and error. Like if a girl at a bar was both looking to be hit on AND was interested in you then you would see some nonverbal cues from her across the bar to come over and start flirting. You only figure these things out by being rejected (misread signals) or missing your shot.
Some anons or one user pretending to be two anons here, kept saying that its immoral to think about other girls when you are considering asking one girl out. They claimed that it was unethical towards the girl you ask out if you think "well if she rejects me I can ask some other girl out".
Well as long as the other person doesn't know then it's not a terrible thing per say. It depends why you're doing it in the first place. If you're serious about a long term relationship then I guess it's fine. The problem is I can see some people not willing to compete or be part of a direct competition for someone. Like if you're talking to multiple people at the same time juggling those relationships until you hit home with one of them.