GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

I'm sorry. Hopefully everything will be okay.

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You're the only one I think about.

why the fuck do people keep reproducing!? your bringing beings with an infinite capacity for feeling into a finite world that destroys everything! reality is a fucking slaughterhouse! parents are sado-masochistic deviants. only people blinded by live could be myopic enough to think life is worth doing.

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I feel very strong shame and guilt when showing (and even thinking about) aggressive and sexual impulses.

why are the people who want to go made to stay while those who want to stay are made to leave- i wonder?

shes going to a better place- nonexistence.

Dear R,

I am not entirely certain by what means you are reading my posts (as I am not very computer literate), but it definitely seems to me as if you have been reading all of the posts that I have made on Jow Forums since I last saw you back in March of 2017. And it seems that you even reply to some of my posts. But I am now only about 60% certain that you are still reading my posts today. And, please, do not start trying to convince me into thinking that I am delusional. You already know as well as I do what it said on my PsychEval. I have the PsychEval here. It says so right here that I am not schizophrenic, nor do I have any other schizophrenia-like disorder (schizoaffective disorder, schizotypal disorder, schizoid personality disorder, etc.), nor do I have any other psychotic disorder (I am well aware that I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and that under certain circumstances MDD comes with psychotic features, but the subtype of MDD that I have does not include psychotic features), nor am I hallucinating, nor delusional, nor experiencing confabulations, nor experiencing any other form of psychosis whatsoever. So there. I am not crazy. So please do not even get me started on this shit. Okay? Ha ha ha!

But, anyway. R, since you have been ignoring all of my phone calls and e-mails in over a year, perhaps you would feel more comfortable if we had a little chat anonymously on here?

I would first like for you to tell me if that really was you that I saw on board that Expo Line train heading to Santa Monica. Were you following me around the city back in those days? If so, how did you do it? Were you tracking the GPS of my cell phone? That woman that I saw on that train looked a lot like you, but I did not recognize you at first. Since I could not immediately identify you, I chose to not acknowledge you.

If you really are still reading my posts to this day, R, please reply to this post and address me by my first name.

Love,
Anonymous

I'm sorry, that was really rude of me. I was just tired.

why me

In a way I gave you an ultimatum. I’m done trying to make this friendship work officially. I’m even sober enough to write this despite drinking booze all night.

In bed and it's past 5am, can't stop thinking about how my life become what it is. 16 years ago when the mental health issues started to get help with treating. It did not go well because they just gave me some pills and told me to get better...

I wish I was not so enabled to do nothing. Parents didn't fight me dropping school at year 10, and unlike my older sibling I didn't get much support. Both of us had dental issues but they got work done. Just feel like out of my siblings I'm the extra they had to deal with. They let me do whatever no matter how much it cause issues. Long wasn't breaking the law or being a delinquent

I am so bored, I feel like I am just here waiting to die.

I broke up with my gf because I feel bad for not fulfilling her expectations. I know she wants to make it all official and get us married eventually, but I always knew it’s not going to happen. I decided to make this decision because I feel bad for playing around her. I think she shouldn’t waste time on me, because I know it makes no sense. Although she’s really upset and idk what else do I say so she knows it’s going nowhere.

I'm lonely and want friends. But I realized I want to be away from people more than I want to be with them, sometimes hate being around others. So I can't make friends because I'll just hurt them.

Miss you so bad.

I didnt talk to her after the exam. she was right infront of me when I was leaving but I just hurried past her. Im such a faggot

I dont have anyone to talk to relationship stuff about irl because I dont want my friends/family to know what an incel loser I am

I've given up on life mostly. I've tried what feels like so hard but I'm in my here 20s, no job, only worked maybe a total of 2 years I've my life and it's an been a wreck. Only thing stopping me is my family. I don't think both my parents and my grandparents could take another one of us mining ourselves. I saw his was for my sister

My dad just had a stroke and I'm 300 kilometers away from him. God I'm scared for him. I knew it'd eventually happen but christ I didn't think it'd happen now. Not knowing anything is killing me right now, I hope he's okay.

Im scared.

Nvm freedom is mine
thank you jesus

My teeth are jacked the fuck up and I don't have money to get them fixed. This has been painfully crippling for me not only physically but mentally as well. FML

were there any risk factors?

I have no idea. I'm kept in the dark and it only makes my fear worse. All I know for now is that he's feeling better and he's conscious but the doctors refuse to let him go for at least 3 more days, god knows why.

>but the doctors refuse to let him go for at least 3 more days, god knows why.
its because it's very high risk of second stroke

A follow-up stroke? How does that happen?

Being an actual, extremely nice guy sucks when people assume you're a "nice" guy all the time. I genuinely like reaching out to people, listening to their problems, hearing their stories. But people always assume I have ulterior motives when I really don't. I just like feeling close to people and helping them with their problems.

A stroke just doesn't magically go away. A stroke can always re-occur.

usually niceness comes from weak character, not strong one. i mean if the only defining trait of yours is being helpful.

Shit... Well he called me just now and said he's in good care right now and he's feeling alright. I'm a lot calmer but the thing about follow up strokes has me kinda afraid.

He's in good hands. It's standard procedure to keep patients for some days to monitor their health and recovery.

Thanks for talking to me, user. Wish you a good day.

It's not, no worries. I enjoy wholesome memes, love Disney/Ghibli movies, can't stand watching horror movies, good with kids, etc etc. I'm genuinely just a nice person who enjoys being nice.
I'm also ambitious and I love to learn, I love astronomy and reading.

But when I meet people they assume I just want something from them.

>I love astronomy
Sun/Moon signs?

Good luck with your father, I know how scary it is.

>Sun/Moon signs?
You mean astrology?

>I dislike people touching me
>I detest kissing
>Every time I've had sex I've felt like I was trapped under a flailing octopus
>I crave intimacy but avoid it like the plague
>Constant anxiety
>Many of the things I enjoy doing are bad for me
>Little to no direction in life. Still trying but nothing I do seems or feels good enough.
I definitely don't want to die but sometimes I just wish I was never born at all.

I want off this ride. Is life supposed to be this depressing? I don't even have an uncomfortable life. I have friends, a job, education and I'm not completely broke. Why does life feel so fucking miserable?

Why can't I just be content? How the fuck did I get this broken?

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I wish someone recognised me through my posts and exposed me irl so people would know without me admitting it myself

yeah.

My gf makes me so unhappy ._.
I want to please her, but it turns out so shitty at the end

Chances are it would be better if I never met her

I don't really keep up with astrology, but apparently I'm Taurus/Cancer respectively.

You're gonna have to ditch her. Nothing's worse than a toxic relationship.

>Taurus/Cancer
That's could explain the aspect of taking care of people emotionally and mentally.

Being exorcised feels so good :>

She won’t let me leave ignoring the fact how much anxiety her attitude gives me

are you kidnapped?

No, but she knows where I live

Other way around buddy.
That's what you get for worshiping demons

Whaa?

Spiritual healing is a blessing. Ward off the demons and keep faith.

I resent my mother for cheating on my dad with two other people and divorcing my dad. I get so angry when I think about it but I won’t ever tell her how I feel so I don’t ruin my relationship with her

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I guess this is ok. I prayed, that's all I can do.

AB?

Nothing funny about that. I feel so crappy like I feel physical nausea because of that

Stop being so fucking lazy and do the shit you said you were gonna do! You'll never be an adult this way just hanging and doing mindless stuff with no materialistic/real-world outcome to show for it.

Look at me in the eyes..
Then I'll know...

Stop starving yourself user
Take care of yourself

I just can’t do this anymore. I hope the reason things are different is because you have found someone you love

I just so tired of everything.

Im bored :(
Hi derob

I've done a lot of completely insane shit. I'm sorry, please don't hold it against me. It was all just a weird kind of self-harm, but now that I'm not trying to kms anymore none of that stuff should happen again.

I was a bad son and didn’t realize it until my father died.

im just tired man.

It’s too late.

I do not have Asperger's. Fucking false diagnosis... fuck you.
I'm fine. I'm attractive, people like talking to me, and I'm told I understand people intuitively.
I don't have autism. I will fucking shank whoever diagnosed me. I'm normal and women like me. They always told me that I was good at basically everything and I don't have to put up with this shit about me supposedly being unable to socialize very well which supposedly makes me less suitable for women.
I'm not autistic you little shits. You'd be doing more at the hospital than working there if I saw your face again.

The only reason I have problems is that I can't decide who to talk to. I don't like most women or people in general and I hate the hobbies your diagnosis pressed me into taking up either.
My perception is fine. I'm not being lied to by everyone else. I don't walk with my head down and I know when people tell jokes.
I'm fine...

I'm gonna get up and do productive stuff non-stop. This is the beginning of my serious life.

Is it really too late? Did I wait too long?

Ya ;_; I see you differently now. You basically abandoned me. I don’t expect you to understand and I don’t care anymore.

>Coworker in cubicle next to me constantly sings, yells, plays loud music, and loses her temper like a madwoman at the drop of a hat

>Working the front desk makes me want to die

Both of these issues could be solved by asking my boss to move my workstation to where the rest of my department is. The workstation I'm at now was supposedly just due to circumstances etc. But then:

>I'd have to deal with being even closer to my boss, who is also liable to lose her temper at the drop of a hat

>I wouldn't be able to use my distance from my boss to goof off

Damned if I do, damned if I don't

They won't listen, user.
However, I'm taking this approach as a way to redeem my sinking ship of a life.

I'm only going to live out of sheer spite, telling everyone else to fucking kill themselves as I had to crawl from the dirt of my life as I slowly whittle myself up into shape. Starting next year I'm going back to school, but I'm gonna get a part time job to stack on my current one to get a car to ease my life into it. I've been changing my diet to be cheaper and healthier, because fast food is fucking expensive.

When I redeem myself, I will say this was all my doing, and no one else fucking saved me. As I lie drowning, nobody decided to throw a lifesaver, I just learned how to swim.

I've figure it out.

I'm starting to get more and more depressed as time goes on. It has a lot to do with external factors. I hate seeing society fall into decay. I see beautiful places rot to shit. Foreingers and their aggression are slowly taking over. Today was just another example. While waiting for my bus, some "gangster" black dudes threw a bottle at head for no reason other than the fact I looked their way as they walked by me. What the hell is it going to be like 20 years from now?

I can’t. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to say goodbye.

I can still smell and taste my boyfriend's sweat hours after getting laid and it is far, far hotter than it has any right to be.

Work at a place like, say, McDonald's until they offer you a dental plan.

Alright I really gotta go. Time to be responsible for my actions, and be a good influence on the world.

I feel so bummed out pretty often lately, the future seems completely blank and my days just drag on forever.

Don't say goodbye...it's not time yet..

I think you are confusing autism with incel. You may have a mild form of it since you are socially conscious enough to know cues.

abandoned how?

Yeah, it's too late. Sorry man I was impatient but spending another day in that lonely hell would have been too much. I needed someone, anyone. I feel like maybe it should have been you but I also think the timing for us was so fucked up, we were going through our own inner struggles and really there would have been no way for us.

Hack it off, hack it off, hack it off, HACK IT OFF, HACK IT OFF, HACK IT OFF

Im really tired of caring about girls

found the hormonal imbalanced trans

I was thinking that too

I wish I could explain. He won’t really talk to me anymore, we used to talk all day everyday. Nothing happened so I don’t know why. I won’t ask because it irritates him. I need to move on because I feel like dying. I want to die.

Actually, I just posted that to see what reaction I would get. Well, that and I'm impulsive due to ADHD...
In any case, I was not disappointed.

I'm just so lazy. I gotta stop looking for gratification and start looking for accomplishment.