I love my boyfriend a lot, but I feel like I care more about him than he cares about me. He's a bit narcissistic and cocky, loves being the one taken care of, but he also knows I desire to not "wear the pants". I always have sex whenever he wants, regardless of how I'm feeling and I initiate with oral to make him feel good, while he plays games or relaxes. He'd sometimes reject my advances when I'm horny, and sleep instead. I attract a lot of guys' attention, and people say I'm a 9/10, but he doesn't seem to notice or care as much. I've also been dieting/exercising to see if he'd treat me any different. I had an issue with porn, but I've come to terms with it for him, and I try to connect more by playing games with him even though it's not something I'm that into. I also let him spend time with his guy friends, but even then, it seems like he has more fun/quality time. He likes staying indoors, he has a waifu body pillow and anime figures, but I saw through all that because he genuinely was sweet in the beginning of our relationship. We clicked very well. Now, I feel like he's doing his own thing while treating me as a warm body for his dick. I've talked about his attentiveness and if he actually loved me the way before, but he'd get agitated and yell. He'd say "he's not a mind reader" or "he forgets" even for the simplest task of holding some luggage (I carried all of it, and fell down the stairs on our way to checking out of a hotel. Sprained my ankle). I do ask for him to help me with simple tasks or spend quality time, but even if he knows my desires, he waits for me to ask in the first place. I don't want break up with him because I honestly love him, but this has definitely put a lot of strain on me. I've tried to justify his actions with his shitty childhood/tiger parenting, but at the same time, I want to be treated as a girlfriend rather than a mother. Again, I don't want to break up with him, but how can this be fixed?
Boyfriend issues
Also, thank you for taking the time to read
Hi, Imma man.
Listen... You shouldn't care how much things you're or so.
Seems to me, that girl should love boys more, 'cause we have less chance to cheat (less matches, not altruism).
Either way, looks like you have learn some things with him. It's really nice for your relationships further, even as a human being.
If he adopt some sort of self-destruct behavior, either violent... you should snap out of it. Till then, good luck.
If this is not a larp, this is genuinely a "being an asshole makes you attractive so treat girls like shit" story come true.
So i have to ask. Do you really like him? Or do you enjoy the emotional rollercoaster he puts you through.
I mean why do you "love him" anyway? It doesnt look like he is a good guy and treats you like crap..
No idea OP. If you figure something out I'd love to know. I have a married friend in the same boat. Absolute sweet heart. Husband ignores her. And she can tell him directly about needing help with chores and if she feels bad and he just ignores her or brushes her off.
Personally I want to push him down the stairs or something. I'm going to give her a few more months and if it doesnt get better, ask her if she is happy. I probably shouldn't though. She is going to take his side until she decides on her own that she's had enough.
You are not a native English speaker are you?
You're dating an autism.
You know what's funny? This husband I'm talking about? They excuse it as "he just has bad adhd"
Naw dog, I have add and I'm fucking Johnny on the spot if a man or woman tells me "i need help. I'm so stressed this is giving me an upset stomach,"
Dudes just an asshole. Maybe an asshole with autism.
I hope my answer will be of use.
Your bf sounds like a worse version of myself. I have a lot of these similar traits but I'm a bit more obedient about spending time with my gf and doing something together.
The best thing to do is to just be upfront with him. Say "user, you're being an asshole." Do so casually but do not back down. Explain that you don't feel like he gives a shit anymore. He lacks qualities of a gentleman who should do things like help carry luggage so you don't get hurt.
When my gf gets super upset I often tell her she's welcome to leave which I want for her when she gives me the impression I'm just bad for her.
If you are a 9/10 and a sweetheart, ditch this loser. He's a shitter worse than myself and I already can't stand myself. Find a man with maturity. Tell him to move in with his mother if he wants to be babied.
Ask him how much he cares about what you have to say and if he doesn't care, then it's time to move on.
My gf is a contradiction in that she wants to be mommy but also needs to be babied. I hate bitching and whining. Sounds to me like you just want a real man and to be treated with some humanity.
If he just gets annoyed and agitated with you it's worth leaving him for a while. You're more than a cock sleeve.
Autism can make you an asshole, the two aren't mutually exclusive. Excusing behavior on the disorder is not healthy because it dismisses the behavior instead of acknowledging it as bad and working to change.
Hi I just wanna say I'm a big fan of yours and love seeing you reply to threads. I adore you for being around and always sharing advice.
Creepy
Oh, thanks.
He was my first genuine friend. I have really bad self-esteem, and I was always picked on for being shy back in ms/hs. My family had really intense expectations on me, so I felt like I never was allowed to act like a kid, even when my siblings were treated better. But yeah, I initially liked how carefree and honest he was, despite his shit childhood. I could actually be myself around him, and I love how he makes me laugh. I think he's gotten to the point where he's super comfortable with everything, and just wants to do his own thing. It's not necessarily a bad thing, since I want him to be happy and relaxed in our relationship, but it honestly feels like he gave up on me a bit.
It's really hard. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, which isn't that long. But we clicked really well, and he fixed my shyness, in a sense. He is the only person I can really be myself around, and I want to make him happy. But, I'm starting to care a little about myself for once, and I wish he can recipricate. Even if it's just little things, like giving me an unexpected kiss on the cheek, or holding my hand when we walk
Ok this is super simple to fix.
Just write down what you told us in this thread and tell him that. And if nothing changes let it go.
Let the relationship end before you become more unhappy with it. Because you seem unhappy..
Thank you for your honestly, user. I do stick up for myself every now and then, but he always gets really defensive, and makes me feel like the villain. He believes he's doing a good job. He's been there for me a lot in the beginning, so whenever he gets to this point, I drop the discussion. I'll try not to back down next time I bring it up.
>When my gf gets super upset, I often tell her she's welcome to leave
My boyfriend actually did this before also, but to prove a point. "Break up with me if you want, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm right" or something along those lines. Yet, since the beginning of our relationship and during our tense moments, he would constantry ask "Are you breaking up with me?" or "Do you hate me?". Whenever I say no, I feel like he always uses that to further enable himself to do more stupid shit...lol
I genuinely do love him. As much as I don't like the idea of breaking up, it's in the back of my mind. But above all, I want to fix this.
But yeah
Tell him how you feel.
In dating a narcissist, the approach you must take in letting him know that you'd prefer to be taken care of (as should be natural with any functional relationship) is by appealing to his ability to reason. Make him agree with you that it isn't very "adult" of him to behave this way, and that because you are so desirable.
You are a commodity, so make him start *working* for it. I do want your relationship to work, and I do think your boyfriend is smart enough to catch on, you just help him understand